quote:

ORIGINAL: MsKyln

Goodmorning,
I recently shared a venting session with a Sister Domme about the “do me” sub/slaves on the online boards. We all have had one if not more of those warm introduction letters; “Hello Mistress, I beg you to consider me, I will do anything for you”. “I enjoy xy, x , oooo and yes BB, and blah blah, and please give me some of nah nah”………..for ten lines . AND of course the ones who stress just how much of a genuine slave they are IF you require them to do such and such for hours on end, daily or of course , as desired LOL.

Well, a few days later I received the following in the mail from a friend of hers. It was taken from a Matriarchal sight (unfortunately she didn’t copy the URL). Im posting it here to see what This board of Domme think. For myself … I think she makes a great point, but one we have all made a million times …just in different vocabulary. Anyway enjoy, or ignore at your leisure. P.s. I take NO credit for the article, it’s spelling, etc.

IS FEMDOM THE PLACE TO FIND A MAN FOR A MATRI-CENTERED RELATIONSHIP?

It does not go unnoticed that the matriarchal world is stocked with
femdom men. Femdom men are the obvious participants. They
aggressively seek out 'matriarchal links' and 'matriarchal groups'
because they are seeking dominant women. Recently I began to get more
ads from femdom men (on my WTAG group): 'Dominant woman wanted.'
Some of my lady friends are catering to, or at least, warmly
tolerating these men, feeling that from this group a worthy catch can
be made; the ideal man we powerful ones are seeking; that obedient,
giving man who will supply our needs. The femdom guy sounds like he
hits the spot. Look at all the things he says! He sounds too good to
be true. If only half of what he says is right, he should be ok.
Now I am going to appeal to women to hear me out, and trust my
experience. Although all logic says, 'They are right for matriarchy',
I will tell you from experience that they are not. Or at least, no
more so than regular guys. Matter of fact, I would wager by a margin
you could find a better guy in the 'real world.'
I lived in the world of femdom for most of twelve years. During this
time I auditioned men for roles as 'slaves,' 'actors' and 'friends.'
I had a good number that fell into those categories, and from this
comes my experience. Obviously I also associated with men from the
regular crowd. Take advantage of what I went through.
I have learned this: Those men who are aggressively seeking to be
dominated have a Pandora Box of needs, fetishes, fixations and desires
that you might not want to face on a regular basis. These guys have
raging sex needs, even moreso than the average guy. Men in general
(as even women) have problems, but these guys have problems on top of
problems. They need therapy, role playing, theatrical productions,
fetish playout, and extreme attention. They do not want 'regular,
normal sex.' They want things unusual, which are difficult to play
out. Most of these men do not need a wife, they need a professional
domme or mistress. Some of them have wives or long-time girlfriends,
but they go elsewhere for their needs. They just don't have the guts
to bring their strange desires to the little lady - with good reason.
Usually, she can't wait to get a divorce or send him to a
psychiatrist (this happened to some of the guys I knew in the scene.)
Few regular women would put up with it. The men who are in the game
are so needy, so very needy, they make ordinary guys, (who are sex
pigs without a doubt) look like schoolboys!
My advise is to cast a wide net, when looking for a man, and make sure
that net includes the regular world. If I had to guess where you
could find a decent guy I would put it like so: 75% of all men in
femdom are inappropriate for matriarchal mates, and maybe 60% of the
'regulars' are unfit. There is more of a chance finding a 'relaxing'
and therefore appropriate male in the regular world than
femdom.........The femdom men, once they get you alone, and live with
you day in day out, would make you want to kill yourself, if you know
what I mean.
It all comes down to this: need. Men in general are immature, weak
and needy compared to women. But those in the domination scene are
even needier, and many are passive-aggressive. They are demanding and
that is the opposite of what you want! And if you think you can
ignore their needs, think again. They become sullen, moody, depressed
and totally uncooperative and if the needs are not met! They cannot
function without their outlet. Some are fixated in childhood
scenarios or pre-puberty, playing out fixations again and again.
Others have compulsions with their fetishes, which they manage to
hide, which would now be your responsibility. If you think, and
believe, that those ads they write are for real, then I'll sell you a
bridge.
By 'intelligent, educated, docile male' seeking 'dominant
woman to serve' really means,

'intelligent, educated man seeks woman who will put up with him
following you into the toilet everytime you go, and will try to put
his head in it,' or,

'intelligent, educated man will want to sit in a hole underneath your
couch while you watch tv for hours,' (not supposed to bother you a
bit while he has his fetish fun, just relax), or

'intelligent, educated man cannot get an erection unless you put on
dirty socks every day and let him chew on them,' and then he will
prefer masturbation to sex, or

'intelligent, educated man will want to talk to you about the feet of
all the women he saw on tv, in the movies, or at the PTA, and then
while you are making love, will want to talk to you about what he saw
while having a raging climax thinking of the high heels of the
president of the PTA' or,

'intelligent, educated man have you walking on top of him for fifteen
minutes before he can get erected, or else, have you buy whole
chickens from the market and then run over them with the car in the
driveway, before he can think about having sex,' or

I could go on and on! In storage I have about 14,000 letters I
received from men giving their scenarios - Now this shit would be
loaded on you!

Dear lady, these men are seeking to 'serve you' in only the most
limited way. They just might do for you what any regular man would
do, if you serve them as well! It might not be a bargain - THERE IS
NO SUCH THING AS A SLAVE! Not only are slaves illegal, they don't
exist. Every 'slave' or 'servant' out there will make you pay for
whatever they give you, I assure you. Take all that they say with a
grain of salt. Unless you are a professional dominant woman, my
advise is to forget it.

Well then, who is out there? They are the guys who do NOT put ads in
the paper or groups. They are just ordinary men, wishing that some
great woman will see or notice them, because they might not be
aggressive or macho. They maybe be slightly timid with women, or shy.
They might tend to be obedient, or docile, but not sissies or wimps.
They could be strong men, but true gentlemen. They would not be the
type who DEMAND and AGGRESSIVELY post ads all over the place. They
would be more likely to WAIT for a woman to find them, rather than
actively seeking one out. Oh yes, they might be around in public,
waiting and hoping. But since they do not have the raging sex needs
of the 'femdom' guys, they do not solicit aggressively. They are the
kind of men who can spend time alone, and might not be the best
talkers, the most articulate or charming with women, but they are
sincere and have good character traits. That is EXACTLY who you are
looking for.

Here are the traits to seek:

* SHY - GOOD TRAIT

* NOT THE MOST POPULAR - GOOD

* DO NOT GO BY LOOKS, EXAMINE THE SOUL - BETTER AN AVERAGE GOOD MAN
THAN A HANDSOME DEVIL

* NOT AGGRESSIVE WITH THEIR NEEDS, NOT SELF INDULGENT OR HEDONISTIC

* CAPABLE OF HOLDING DOWN A JOB, TAKING RESPONSIBILITY & DOES NOT
WASTE MONEY

* SINCERE IN WHAT HE SAYS

* HONEST, GOOD CHARACTER, HAS VIRTUES

* MAKE SURE HE HAS NO VIOLENT TENDENCIES (THESE COME OUT BY MANY
HOURS OF CONVERSATION. YOU CAN LEARN ALMOST ANYTHING IF YOU MAKE HIM
TALK LONG ENOUGH)

* A GENTLEMAN, YES.

* HOW HAS HE TREATED HIS MOTHER, THE WEAK, LITTLE CHILDREN AND ANIMALS?

* HOW SELFISH OR UNSELFISH IS HE? STAY AWAY FROM THE ME ME ME GUYS.

* IS HE CONSIDERATE? DOES HE LISTEN AND CALL AND SHOW UP WHEN HE IS
SUPPOSED TO?

* DOES HE CARE ABOUT YOUR NEEDS AND PROBLEMS?

* IS HE HONEST OR DOES HE LIE? STAY AWAY FROM ALL LIARS, AS
CHEATING AND STEALING GOES WITH LIARS.

* IS HE SEXUALLY AGGRESSIVE? BAD BET. THAT MEANS SELFISH, AND
SELFISH IS BAD.

* IS HE AN ALCOHOLIC OR DRUG ADDICT? KEEP MOVING

* FIND OUT HIS HOBBIES AND INTERESTS - VERY IMPORTANT. ARE THEY
HARMLESS?

This is just a small list of who to stay away from and who to seek.
Remember, as a matriarch you are seeking to meet YOUR needs and he has
to be, up to a point, willing to see to that. At the very least, he
should not be demanding or stand in your way. (And if you think you
are going to get a man like that out of femdom, think again.)

Yes, my sisters, I do understand that it is not going to be
effortless. In the patriarchal world we have been taught to serve and
be self sacrificing. Now it is going to be the other way around. In
most relationships it is not 50/50. The woman gives at least 60,
maybe 75%. It will not be easy making this transition to freedom, but
we must start. We are taking the first steps to matriarchal liberty.
Men have to change, women have to change. And you, the woman,
mustn't feel guilty. It is better for them if they serve us than for
us to serve them. It is as God wants it. And by having a man's
support, we can get a lot more done in the world. The world needs us.
It's time to stop serving the male and his lower needs. The world
cries out for salvation, and this is done by the woman now attending
to larger issues.

Rasa Von Werder
February 25, 2006

quote:

ORIGINAL: badboy6385

hi, i thought i would reply to this article, i have heard from many Dommes that many of the men into femdom bdsm are
very strange, that often they want bizzare fetishes repeated
over and over again like some endless tape playing in their heads. The fault of men being stilted and weird is not just in men however, the ideal of marriage which crushes so much
sexual expression is to blame as well. Women too are
often frozen sexually and it can take a lot to unfreeze them later in life. I think we are all going throught a chaotic time with the breakdown of traditional marriage arrangements.
Given this i think we should all cut each other a break now and then, but i do understand the frustration of Dommes who can most men on these boards to be weirdos. I guess the player aspect just comes with the territory, a lot of men just use sites like this to fantasize another reality, in reality they are already enslaved to life situations that will not allow them any escpape or freedom

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsKyln


Here are the traits to seek:

* SHY - GOOD TRAIT

* NOT THE MOST POPULAR - GOOD

* DO NOT GO BY LOOKS, EXAMINE THE SOUL - BETTER AN AVERAGE GOOD MAN
THAN A HANDSOME DEVIL

* NOT AGGRESSIVE WITH THEIR NEEDS, NOT SELF INDULGENT OR HEDONISTIC

* CAPABLE OF HOLDING DOWN A JOB, TAKING RESPONSIBILITY & DOES NOT
WASTE MONEY

* SINCERE IN WHAT HE SAYS

* HONEST, GOOD CHARACTER, HAS VIRTUES

* MAKE SURE HE HAS NO VIOLENT TENDENCIES (THESE COME OUT BY MANY
HOURS OF CONVERSATION. YOU CAN LEARN ALMOST ANYTHING IF YOU MAKE HIM
TALK LONG ENOUGH)

* A GENTLEMAN, YES.

* HOW HAS HE TREATED HIS MOTHER, THE WEAK, LITTLE CHILDREN AND ANIMALS?

* HOW SELFISH OR UNSELFISH IS HE? STAY AWAY FROM THE ME ME ME GUYS.

* IS HE CONSIDERATE? DOES HE LISTEN AND CALL AND SHOW UP WHEN HE IS
SUPPOSED TO?

* DOES HE CARE ABOUT YOUR NEEDS AND PROBLEMS?

* IS HE HONEST OR DOES HE LIE? STAY AWAY FROM ALL LIARS, AS
CHEATING AND STEALING GOES WITH LIARS.

* IS HE SEXUALLY AGGRESSIVE? BAD BET. THAT MEANS SELFISH, AND
SELFISH IS BAD.

* IS HE AN ALCOHOLIC OR DRUG ADDICT? KEEP MOVING

* FIND OUT HIS HOBBIES AND INTERESTS - VERY IMPORTANT. ARE THEY
HARMLESS?

quote:

ORIGINAL: badboy6385

hi, i thought i would reply to this article, i have heard from many Dommes that many of the men into femdom bdsm are
very strange, that often they want bizzare fetishes repeated
over and over again like some endless tape playing in their heads. The fault of men being stilted and weird is not just in men however, the ideal of marriage which crushes so much
sexual expression is to blame as well. Women too are
often frozen sexually and it can take a lot to unfreeze them later in life. I think we are all going throught a chaotic time with the breakdown of traditional marriage arrangements.
Given this i think we should all cut each other a break now and then, but i do understand the frustration of Dommes who can most men on these boards to be weirdos. I guess the player aspect just comes with the territory, a lot of men just use sites like this to fantasize another reality, in reality they are already enslaved to life situations that will not allow them any escpape or freedom

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyJC

You make a very good point. However I think it depends on the Domme, so far violent tendencies and money spending, just doesn't go with me, I'm only 21. When you're 16 and you do that, that's one thing but as an adult it's not good to do. Once in a while it's one thing, but most people have more responsibilities to pay for, bills and getting food, and things like that to go out and buy things they want.
Also it depends on the violence you pull. If it's something like a special case where you got mad and hit a wall that is one thing, but assaulting another human being is a totally different story and personally I'm weary of you already.
Would I want a boy who hasn't been trained yet? Not really I prefer boys that are pre trained know what the lifestyles truly invovles and are still sticking around. To know this isn't just so they can sit in front of their computer and masturbate. A lot of people are like this. It truly does depend on the person.
LadyJC

quote:

ORIGINAL: Z3R0117subbie


as a sub/slave i fail only a few: MAKE SURE HE HAS NO VIOLENT TENDENCIES (i get voilet from time to time but i know my place and i take respoionably for my actions.),CAPABLE OF HOLDING DOWN A JOB, TAKING RESPONSIBILITY & DOES NOT WASTE MONEY (i only had two jobs in the past. and when i would get moeny i would spend it right off). and one other tihng. i always get ignored by other Mistress's and such becuse i am only 20. now a tell me if im worng but isn't a sub who hasn't had any formal training the best to get becuse you can shape them in to what you want them to be?

quote:

Those men who are aggressively seeking to be
dominated have a Pandora Box of needs, fetishes, fixations and desires
that you might not want to face on a regular basis. These guys have
raging sex needs, even moreso than the average guy. Men in general
(as even women) have problems, but these guys have problems on top of
problems. They need therapy, role playing, theatrical productions,
fetish playout, and extreme attention. They do not want 'regular,
normal sex.' They want things unusual, which are difficult to play
out. Most of these men do not need a wife, they need a professional
domme or mistress. Some of them have wives or long-time girlfriends,
but they go elsewhere for their needs. They just don't have the guts
to bring their strange desires to the little lady - with good reason.

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlesarbonn

I'll let you all in on a little secret. I used to be a member of a number of femdom/matriarch organizations (that's not the secret), and I often heard the exact same type of "lists" to find the right guy who will be exactly what a woman would want. Well, here's the secret: Every time a hot guy came along who didn't happen to fit ANY of the categories, the majority of the women would chase after him, convinced they could change him to their ways, and after months of disappointment, they would come back, angry at the same guys who DID fit those categories because some guy that didn't somehow didn't live up to their expectations.

You see, part of the problem with a lot of these organizations is that the "right" guys are easy to get used to, almost to the point of where it is easy to think ALL men must be like that, so they cast aside the right guys and go after the hot guys, and the cycle keeps repeating itself. After awhile, I started filtering out comments of "why can't these guys be more like you?". I used to complain about this a lot, and it wasn't really very constructive. I've decided the complaint route isn't the right way to go anymore. Now, I find it hilarious and smile knowingly as it happens over and over again. Instead of getting involved, I have long arguments with my stuffed animals who always seem to be smarter than I am. I've discovered it's more fun and just as beneficial.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Nikolette

quote:

ORIGINAL: Z3R0117subbie


as a sub/slave i fail only a few: MAKE SURE HE HAS NO VIOLENT TENDENCIES (i get voilet from time to time but i know my place and i take respoionably for my actions.),CAPABLE OF HOLDING DOWN A JOB, TAKING RESPONSIBILITY & DOES NOT WASTE MONEY (i only had two jobs in the past. and when i would get moeny i would spend it right off). and one other tihng. i always get ignored by other Mistress's and such becuse i am only 20. now a tell me if im worng but isn't a sub who hasn't had any formal training the best to get becuse you can shape them in to what you want them to be?

This is one of the most retarded things I have read all day.

I can't believe you read that post and everyone's reply to it and and this egotistical nonsense is what you had to add?!

quote:

in other words i was saying that whole what to look for in someone is bullshit......

quote:

ORIGINAL: DiannaVesta

quote:

ORIGINAL: MarinaBlack

...I find it terribly ironic that the majority of "FemDomme" material I have read and seen - artwork and literature - is perpetuated by men who maintain patriarchy-based ideals of beauty, sexuality and realtionships only with a fetish twist.

Women should start to step up to the plate and put forth our own ideals. Only then will more people - men AND women - be educated about true FemDomme.

This is what we try to do, "step up" and each time have you notice the ridicule?...

quote:

ORIGINAL: MarinaBlack

...I find it terribly ironic that the majority of "FemDomme" material I have read and seen - artwork and literature - is perpetuated by men who maintain patriarchy-based ideals of beauty, sexuality and realtionships only with a fetish twist.

Women should start to step up to the plate and put forth our own ideals. Only then will more people - men AND women - be educated about true FemDomme.

Nice.
Ridicule is a weapon of the weak anyhow.:)
It's the death rattle of the patriarchy.

quote:

ORIGINAL: luckyslaveboync

Thank you, Goddess Dianna Vesta, for the lead on Boudicca. lucky found http://www.athenapub.com/boudicca.htm very interesting and had not known about this.

quote:

'intelligent, educated man seeks woman who will put up with him
following you into the toilet everytime you go, and will try to put
his head in it,' or,