RE: Now Accepting Applications For All Positions

RE: Now Accepting Applications For All Positions (Full Version)

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LaTigresse -> RE: Now Accepting Applications For All Positions (10/16/2009 11:00:36 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: subtlebutterfly beyond the abilities of those that actually are trying to represent themselves maybe.. but there're thousands of application on google that you can just copy paste and/or gotten ideas from..and if you're dedicated enough to give the wrong impression...I believe it's easy peasy.. Many people are great 'salesmen' and presenters but don't have shit going on between their ears... Wellllllllll aren't you just an argumentative little bug today!

subtlebutterfly -> RE: Now Accepting Applications For All Positions (10/16/2009 11:10:05 AM)
Yea well I know ya luv me anywayz[8D]

LaTigresse -> RE: Now Accepting Applications For All Positions (10/16/2009 11:15:22 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: subtlebutterfly Yea well I know ya luv me anywayz[8D] Oh hush and go fill out that 10 page application I sent you!

subtlebutterfly -> RE: Now Accepting Applications For All Positions (10/16/2009 11:25:14 AM)
[sm=bury.gif] I just remembered that I uh gotta..yanno..like..uhm kinda busy at the moment! [sm=afraid.gif]

leadership527 -> RE: Now Accepting Applications For All Positions (10/16/2009 11:31:17 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Malkinius These have been some interesting but mostly expected replies. It really comes down to what you think is the most important, the relationship or the service. If you are looking for a lover such a request would be an insult. If you are looking for someone who is there for service, not love, it is, to me, much more reasonable. Please note the difference between the two mindsets. There is also a difference if you have someone who is or is wanting to be a slave versus a sub. I agree with the first part of this. But then you go on to make a dichotomy where none exists, at least in my head. What if I want it all -- both a lover and a sub/slave? It is, however, certainly true that for me, it is the relationship which comes first and is paramount and so yes, such a request in either direction would be perceived as hopelessly incompatible with me.

DesFIP -> RE: Now Accepting Applications For All Positions (10/16/2009 11:41:33 AM)
I can't imagine wanting to get involved with a person and not want to like them as a person. If you interviewed for a job and found your prospective manager to be a horse's ass who insults you during the interview, when he is in need of your services, would anyone choose to take that position if they didn't have to? And since d/s relationships are never based on 'have to'. a prospective sub would turn it down and wait for someone they could work for who they enjoyed working for. And by reducing this to an application, you eliminate being able to discover if you would want to work for them.

LaTigresse -> RE: Now Accepting Applications For All Positions (10/16/2009 11:46:41 AM)
I don't see it as reducing to an application at all. I see it as a person using one of several, tools to get to an end result, with another person. Example: If I had an application, one thing certain to be on it........Allergies? If yes please explain. Because if someone is seriously allergic to horses, dogs or cats, they will never reside in my home.

DavanKael -> RE: Now Accepting Applications For All Positions (10/16/2009 11:53:54 AM)
I think the application is a poor idea while a resume, which I learned about in a Submissive's Retreat that I attended about a year and a half ago, seems potentially empowering. A lot of folks, if asked would have difficulty listing their merits, so I like the idea of something that cues a person to the positives that they bring to the table (And peripherally, perhaps calls their attention to things upon which they may need work). Some people would do better with the concrete-ness of a document while others do fine with greater abstraction. Davan

subtlebutterfly -> RE: Now Accepting Applications For All Positions (10/16/2009 11:56:19 AM)
FR. I believe most of the messages we get are trash..and/or from people that one wouldn't even want to have a drink with..so asking them to hand in an application would be a waste of time. However, these few that one can actually communicate with...would you prefer to ask for an application rather than actually making the effort to talk to the person and find out that way? If something is essential to you then it would probably be one of the first things you bring up in a conversation anyway. ..so much for the communication... Regards, the person who hates applications.. P.s. the same goes for resumés, gee why won't you also add a contact? - Former dominants/partners who can give recommendation. It's almost as if everybody's too busy to spend their own time and on their own terms to actually get to know somebody. Gawd the shortcuts are so 'in' nowadays, you could also hire a matchmaker!

porcelaine -> RE: Now Accepting Applications For All Positions (10/16/2009 12:22:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DavanKael I think the application is a poor idea while a resume, which I learned about in a Submissive's Retreat that I attended about a year and a half ago, seems potentially empowering. i knew there was a reason i liked you. that was an awesome event. [;)] porcelaine

IrishMist -> RE: Now Accepting Applications For All Positions (10/16/2009 12:50:43 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP I can't imagine wanting to get involved with a person and not want to like them as a person. If you interviewed for a job and found your prospective manager to be a horse's ass who insults you during the interview, when he is in need of your services, would anyone choose to take that position if they didn't have to? And since d/s relationships are never based on 'have to'. a prospective sub would turn it down and wait for someone they could work for who they enjoyed working for. And by reducing this to an application, you eliminate being able to discover if you would want to work for them. You are missing what is being said. Let me try this example I want to be in a relationship that is slavery based; meaning, the whole works BUT, I also want from that same relationship an emotional attatchment. So, my first step is to look around and find someone who interests me enough to begin talking to. This person, upon hearing what I am looking for, gives me some questions that he feels need to be answered before anything can go any further. Mainly, questions that circle around what HE expects from HIS slave, the rules he would enforce, HOW he wants things done, etc etc. In addition to this, he also asks ME what I THINK slavery to HIM would entail. Now, things can go in a few different directions. We may find that we are both looking for the same thing, so therefore, we go foreward with the 'getting to know each other', forming that emotional attatchment that we both want. or We could find right away that we are not compatible with each other and say our good-byes right then and there. or We can find that we have SOME things in common, and that we both might be willing to compromise on some other things; so, we start talking and decide to go ahead and get to know each other. An application is not much more than a tool that is used in an attempt to find if someone is complatible with you. It's not cruel, it's not insulting, and it does not take away from finding out if you can be with someone. All it does is cut out about a month of talks and negotiations that take place before two people or more decide that they want to move forward.

sweetsub1957 -> RE: Now Accepting Applications For All Positions (10/16/2009 2:14:09 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DavanKael I think the application is a poor idea while a resume, which I learned about in a Submissive's Retreat that I attended about a year and a half ago, seems potentially empowering. A lot of folks, if asked would have difficulty listing their merits, so I like the idea of something that cues a person to the positives that they bring to the table (And peripherally, perhaps calls their attention to things upon which they may need work). Some people would do better with the concrete-ness of a document while others do fine with greater abstraction. Davan Exactly. And that's why I'm working on one of my own, purely for my own enlightenment.

Malkinius -> RE: Now Accepting Applications For All Positions (10/16/2009 3:48:21 PM)
Greetings DesFIP..... quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP Do you fill out the same form to prove you are worthwhile to them also? Or do they have to take you on faith? The same form, no. It is partially standardized and partially customized for each person. However I am more that willing to answer any of the questions I ask after they have answered. Remember, this is a different dynamic than most up to the point of my post were talking about. It is part of the interview process. That process does work both ways. Also remember that if one or both sides have a known reputation and track record, it also changes the dynamic as well. That is not the case in most relationship formations from places like this. Be well..... Malkinius

Malkinius -> RE: Now Accepting Applications For All Positions (10/16/2009 3:59:17 PM)
Greetings Leadership.... quote: ORIGINAL: leadership527 I agree with the first part of this. But then you go on to make a dichotomy where none exists, at least in my head. What if I want it all -- both a lover and a sub/slave? It is, however, certainly true that for me, it is the relationship which comes first and is paramount and so yes, such a request in either direction would be perceived as hopelessly incompatible with me. You have defined for yourself that love and the relationship is the most important thing. Everything else comes after that. Your love for your wife comes before her submission to you. I have seen that in your postings and it is a wonderful thing. The thing you must remember is that what is right for you is not right for everyone else. For some of us, service is the most important thing. For a few, love has nothing whatsoever to do with what is going on....by choice. Be well.... Malkinius

leadership527 -> RE: Now Accepting Applications For All Positions (10/16/2009 4:44:44 PM)
Yup, I get all that Malkinius and no arguments on any of it. I was just pointing out that it was possible to have two priorities in life and fully expect to have both of them.

porcelaine -> RE: Now Accepting Applications For All Positions (10/16/2009 5:08:21 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: leadership527 Yup, I get all that Malkinius and no arguments on any of it. I was just pointing out that it was possible to have two priorities in life and fully expect to have both of them. i want to have both. while love is not the catalyst for my surrender, it is a very important part and is usually the deal breaker in all honesty. i will never serve an Owner i have no capacity to love. if an emotional connection does not exist on some level we won't progress. it matters not if everything else stacks up. i simply cannot make that kind of compromise in good conscience. i believe it is possible to have both and i'm willing to wait for it as well. porcelaine

DrkJourney -> RE: Now Accepting Applications For All Positions (10/16/2009 5:14:17 PM)
Looks like it pretty much goes along with, unfortunately, the way the net is. Just another way to be impersonal. what ever happened to the art of conversation to learn about someone, and making an actual connection with someone other than "interviewing" a companion for hire...geez

DesFIP -> RE: Now Accepting Applications For All Positions (10/16/2009 7:26:06 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: IrishMist It's not cruel, it's not insulting, and it does not take away from finding out if you can be with someone. All it does is cut out about a month of talks and negotiations that take place before two people or more decide that they want to move forward. What you're missing is that in that month of talks and negotiations you will learn a hell of a lot more about the person then if you made up your mind on the basis of a questionnaire.

zephyroftheNorth -> RE: Now Accepting Applications For All Positions (10/16/2009 7:28:02 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP quote: ORIGINAL: IrishMist It's not cruel, it's not insulting, and it does not take away from finding out if you can be with someone. All it does is cut out about a month of talks and negotiations that take place before two people or more decide that they want to move forward. What you're missing is that in that month of talks and negotiations you will learn a hell of a lot more about the person then if you made up your mind on the basis of a questionnaire. I agree with you 100% Celeste, while a questionnaire is a good starting point, there is nothing quite like actually sitting down and talking.

leadership527 -> RE: Now Accepting Applications For All Positions (10/16/2009 8:19:52 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP What you're missing is that in that month of talks and negotiations you will learn a hell of a lot more about the person then if you made up your mind on the basis of a questionnaire. Much as I'm in your court on this one Des, I don't think this statement necessarily is true. If all I cared about was whether someone could cook, clean, and fuck to my satisfaction, and that they would obey according to my expectations, then a questionnaire would in fact be quick and efficient. It's only that pesky relationship stuff that takes more in-depth conversation. As Malkinius pointed out above, that relationship pattern is incomprehensible to me, but apparently it is not for others.

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