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RE: IfYouAreOverWeightHowDoYouExpectaDomToBelieveYouCan... - 10/17/2009 11:45:30 AM   
Sundowner


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quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly
well...dayyyy-um!

And i thought the cream filling in a TWINKIE was good.



So now you're up to speed (and forgetting the bra option) ... where were we with this confectionery?   





(in reply to sirsholly)
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RE: IfYouAreOverWeightHowDoYouExpectaDomToBelieveYouCan... - 10/17/2009 11:49:58 AM   
maat


Posts: 62
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		somewere between beeing overweight and beeing morbidly obese i had a black out. It wasnt untill i was a bit over 100 kilos that i got it. then i went on birthcontrole, i got some medical issues and all of a suden i was up to 142 kilos despite strugeling with loosing weight. The more i tried the more i started hating food to the point that i started to develope an eating dissorder. This ofcorse didnt make  it easyer to loose weight. I didnt whant to be fat, but i ate the wrong things at the wrong time in the wrong amont. I did exercise (usualy 6 or more classes a week) and i finaly culd se the problem. I went to an obecity clinict but they only helped me mess upp my thinking eaven more.

Beeing fat for alot of people is about not feeling worthy of something better but its also a highly personal thing. No two fat people have the same reason for beeing fat.

It took a major shift in my thinking to finaly take the neccesery steps to take care of myself. I had to put myself first, i had to know that i was worthy of living a good and healty life (i still dont give a damn about the nr on the scale) and i had to take responcibility for myself and my own thinking.

I find that often other fat people of previucly fat people are the hardest on me, i had gastric bypass surgery so i took the easye way out (hell no, its no fun and its realy hard att times). for those who lost weight im just lazy cuz i dont whant to lose weight, i meen honestly all i have to do is eat less and exercise morwe (no, my body was to heavy and i culdnt do that).

People love to put you down for beeing overweight, it dosent mater if they are thin or big themselfs. You can always make yourself feel better by putting a fat person down for simply beeing fat.

(in reply to Sundowner)
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RE: IfYouAreOverWeightHowDoYouExpectaDomToBelieveYouCan... - 10/17/2009 11:53:17 AM   
barelynangel


Posts: 6233
Status: offline 		HI Kia, i know what you are saying but unfortunately appearance DOES MATTER. ITS ALWAYS mattered and will always continue mattering. Being overweight with all the knowledge and education we have now is a sign that someone is not taking care of themselves AS THEY SHOULD. People are being taught that, they are being told that overweight may be the reason our healthcare costs are so high, the baby boomers who are now being taken care of due to age are dealing with issues due to excess and more and more lack of exercise in their life and being told to lose weight. Young kids are more overweight than ever. ITS A PROBLEM. ANd i am part of it, i am not one of the non-overweight people so don't think i am one of them speaking. I am over-weight and out of shape.

Being overweight especially obese nowadays is an OUTWARD SIGN to anyone looking that the person on some level does not take the care they should with themselves. Because for MOST people this came about with excess, not eating healthy and lack of exercise. This isn't about skinny people, its a focus on a specific concept. You are on some levels passing the buck. Not-overweight (because not overweight doesn't mean skinng) could very well not take care of themselves, but not-being overweight is not an OUTWARD sign of that wherein people can draw their own opinions from.

Again, this isn't about skinny people its about an issue that is VERY REAL. Our country is over 60% overweight with i think 35% of that being obese. Its effecting our healthcare, its effecting the comfort of others on airlines it seems, its an issue. So saying well put the focus on skinny, to me doesn't ERASE the overweight issue but instead does a lot of what overweight people do --- put their hands over their eyes and pretend it doesn't exist.

Kia, sorry but the fat people are in better health concept is BS, we all know it. I don't know a doctor out there who advocates someone REMAINING FAT over losing weight. That is a concept people jumped on to use as an excuse.

The fact is kia, if people actually DID the fitness they are required to do, its likely they would no longer BE overweight at least not to the extent people are. So while fitness may be more important which i agree, the logistics is your body won't hold onto the fat if its getting the exercise and food it needs and so the average means of weight would not be 60% overweight. OUr body loves muscle so if a person is focusing on fitness and exercise, their body will become leaner because mucles is leaner than fat AND muscle burns more calories when its not in use. So if a person is fit as they should be, their body will show it.

I do get what you are saying but you are simply passing the buck. Being overweight is a OUTWARD sign that MOST of the people who are are NOT making healthy choices for themselves. non-overweight people don't have this OUTWARD sign, but they do have others.

Also, whether people like it or not -- when you are overweight you are limiting the playing field of people who will accept you or be interested in you. Appearances does matter, its a fact of life and with the education out there nowadays, its going to become more and more apparent that being overweight is an indication of people don't take care of themselves. This isn't a well skinny people do such and such also.

Also, many people have an issue with losing wieght because their metabolism is so screwed up from eating wrong and not exercising to begin with and its made losing weight hard but the initial cause was a choice they were making.

I wish there was an easy answer, but for MOST, being overweight is a choice and with that choice, they have to face the opinions of others and sometimes they just are not going to be flattering.

angel

< Message edited by barelynangel -- 10/17/2009 11:54:47 AM >

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RE: IfYouAreOverWeightHowDoYouExpectaDomToBelieveYouCan... - 10/17/2009 11:56:31 AM   
barelynangel


Posts: 6233
Status: offline 		chuckles, okay holly point taken lol demand may have been a wrong word lol but sometimes it appears people do demand lol on these boards -- go figure with such umm erm docile women like you on the boards. smiles sweetly.

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What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
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RE: IfYouAreOverWeightHowDoYouExpectaDomToBelieveYouCan... - 10/17/2009 11:56:34 AM   
CallaFirestormBW


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quote:

ORIGINAL: blacklion

If You Are Over Weight How Do You Expect a Dom To Believe You Can Meet His Needs When You Neglect Your Own Health? If you are not willing to take pride in your own self how is any Dom to think you will take pride in serving him? Seems your Master would be Krispy Creame 


I am going to answer this succinctly and to the point. If one is dominant, then it behooves one to choose an individual who has shown hirself capable of meeting the necessities at hand. In a quarter-century of leading individuals, and 15 years as a dominant member of an authority-exchange household, I can tell you that one can believe that a servant will meet one's needs because that servant has shown hirself able to do so. Our servants have a contingency period during which they demonstrate that they have the attitude, skills, and willingness to learn to be able to accomplish their duties. Neither I nor anyone in our household has -ever- had to turn a servant away solely because hir weight made it impossible for hir to serve us.

Since you specified that your issue is a matter of health, I will reinforce that this isn't about physical attractiveness or sexual attractiveness -- from a health perspective, we've had any number of large women and men who have served us with dignity, grace, dedication and great skill. For some of them, the requirements of the job, and the structure we provided, enabled them to find more opportunities to participate in fitness-related activities -- which did not necessarily translate to a change in weight, but it did improve their capacity to feel comfortable in their bodies... of any size.

I suspect that you have a personal blind-spot... Oh well, your loss.

Dame Calla

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***
Said to me recently: "Look, I know you're the "voice of reason"... but dammit, I LIKE being unreasonable!!!!"

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RE: IfYouAreOverWeightHowDoYouExpectaDomToBelieveYouCan... - 10/17/2009 11:58:42 AM   
barelynangel


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quote:

somewere between beeing overweight and beeing morbidly obese i had a black out.


Personally, i think this is what happens to soo many people. Life takes such focus that they don't really see themselves until one day they have no choice and are like damn when did this happen, how and WHY??


quote:

i had gastric bypass surgery so i took the easye way out (hell no, its no fun and its realy hard att times).


I had a cousin who did that and i can tell you it was no walk in the park for her.

< Message edited by barelynangel -- 10/17/2009 12:00:35 PM >

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What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
R.W. Emerson


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RE: IfYouAreOverWeightHowDoYouExpectaDomToBelieveYouCan... - 10/17/2009 12:00:26 PM   
sirsholly


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From: Quietville
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quote:

Angel, my biggest problem with that approach is it carries an implicit assumption that the not-fat people do not have issues related to taking care of themselves & are thus in some position to get all sanctimonious about self-care (not saying this applies to you, just the message that is carried in this 'fat is obvious lack of self-care' thinking) . . . . . .

& of course, plenty of not-fat people are doing lousy jobs caring for self. Being skinny does not get in the way of being a (legal or illegal) drug addict, an abuser, or some other massive dysfunctionality . . . .
i am one of the thinner ones, so i cannot speak of the discrimination the overweight in society encounter. I CAN speak of the discrimination thin people encounter, but that is another thread.

Perception is an issue. My mother was not overweight, but her BMI, medical reports, and photos spoke differently. Why? She had huge breasts. She never appeared to be thin.

A friend has a bubble butt. Now she is overweight by about 20 pounds. If i were to gain 20 pounds, it would be in the middle..setting me up for a heart attack. Should she gain 20 pounds, she would have to worry about a larger pair of Levis. 40 pounds overweight and she would still be healthier than me.



< Message edited by sirsholly -- 10/17/2009 12:03:31 PM >

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RE: IfYouAreOverWeightHowDoYouExpectaDomToBelieveYouCan... - 10/17/2009 12:02:55 PM   
sirsholly


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quote:

ORIGINAL: barelynangel

chuckles, okay holly point taken lol demand may have been a wrong word lol but sometimes it appears people do demand lol on these boards -- go figure with such umm erm docile women like you on the boards. smiles sweetly.
i am not called the quiet one for nuthin


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RE: IfYouAreOverWeightHowDoYouExpectaDomToBelieveYouCan... - 10/17/2009 12:03:22 PM   
Phoenixpower


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quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

quote:

ORIGINAL: Phoenixpower

 *please wake me up once that nonsense topic here is finished*thanks*


Goody!  A defenseless, sleeping sub!  Ravishment city, here I come!



cheeky buggar, it seems I shouldn't have cmailed you earlier

Waking me up was NOT meant in THAT way...thanks anyway

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The PAST is history, the FUTURE a mystery, NOW is a gift - that's why it's called the PRESENT

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RE: IfYouAreOverWeightHowDoYouExpectaDomToBelieveYouCan... - 10/17/2009 12:04:05 PM   
odysseyIndeed


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I've only read the first page, but I might as well tell a bit of my "story".

i've been overweight since before i was a year old. According to my "baby book", I was 182 by the time i was 7 years of age. I have lost (and gained back) more than one hundred pounds numerous times in my life. The last ten years I have worked really hard to live as healthfully as i can within my means  and as my physical health will allow(i've had both of my knees replaced and was involved in two wrecks and another problem, the result of which was a very bad back).

I am not thin. I have never been thin. And it is very likely I will never be thin. And at five foot five, I also have never been tall and will likely never be tall .. smiles. I do try to be healthy, so weight, for me, is simply one issue one must measure when deciding if a person is right for you. It does not lessen my ability to submit and more or less than any other physical 'thing' might do.

If you have to suspend your submissive or slave from the rafters by her breasts, then i would not be the girl for you. If you have to have a girl who can literally kneel at your feet then, because of my knee replacements, i am not the girl for you. If you have to have arm candy who is flawless and scar-free, then i am not the girl for you.

However, if in your mental checklist, you want a girl who tries to be just as(f not more) healthy as you, and you want to guide as much as you want to be served, and you want to control as much as this girl wishes to be controlled, and if you want a girl with a true servant's heart who would give 110% of herself (and has in the past), then you might realize that physical things are fleeting and it is who a person really is internally and not what they look like that is the basis for all else.

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RE: IfYouAreOverWeightHowDoYouExpectaDomToBelieveYouCan... - 10/17/2009 12:06:33 PM   
Phoenixpower


Posts: 8098
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly
Perception is an issue. My mother was not overweight, but her BMI, medical reports, and photos spoke differently. Why? She had huge breasts. She never appeared to be thin.


so considering the rumours/facts/whateveritis...that your bra has a fair amount of space left in there...and your mom was well spoiled in that sector...hmm.....does that mean from generation to generation your family gives less to the next generation gene wise? 

_____________________________

RIP 08-09-07

The PAST is history, the FUTURE a mystery, NOW is a gift - that's why it's called the PRESENT

www.butyoudontlooksick.com/navigation/BYDLS-TheSpoonTheory.pdf

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RE: IfYouAreOverWeightHowDoYouExpectaDomToBelieveYouCan... - 10/17/2009 12:07:46 PM   
sirsholly


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From: Quietville
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quote:

i had gastric bypass surgery so i took the easye way out (hell no, its no fun and its realy hard att times).



quote:


I had a cousin who did that and i can tell you it was no walk in the park for her.


Angel...lets kick her butt for saying she took the easy way out...k?

Gastric bypass in and of itself is a very difficult surgery to handle, but it is also enotionally difficult, which is why there is now counseling alot of the time prior to the procedure.



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RE: IfYouAreOverWeightHowDoYouExpectaDomToBelieveYouCan... - 10/17/2009 12:07:57 PM   
barelynangel


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quote:

i am not called the quiet one for nuthin


smirks is that when people calling you that decide they need some exercise so they spend time dodging lightening bolts?



Also i agree perception is everything -- which is a concept of how people judge appearances. I don't think numbers are what makes someone overweight or obese, the body does.

Actually Holly, to me there is no easy way out to lose weight, if you can do it easy DAMN STRAIGHT you better or i will kick your ass and if you don't write a book, i will do it again lol. But much to what most don't understand surgery is never an easy way out, especially not what they have to go through. shudders.

< Message edited by barelynangel -- 10/17/2009 12:09:41 PM >

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What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
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RE: IfYouAreOverWeightHowDoYouExpectaDomToBelieveYouCan... - 10/17/2009 12:11:08 PM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Phoenixpower

quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly
Perception is an issue. My mother was not overweight, but her BMI, medical reports, and photos spoke differently. Why? She had huge breasts. She never appeared to be thin.


so considering the rumours/facts/whateveritis...that your bra has a fair amount of space left in there...and your mom was well spoiled in that sector...hmm.....does that mean from generation to generation your family gives less to the next generation gene wise? 
hell...i was so shortchanged!! I used to tell her she got the boobs and i got the brains. I could say that because she was a very very intelligent lady.

But one of the reasons i can joke, and could not care less about my lack of bewbabge, is because i saw firsthand what a large shelf can do. The pain in the shoulders and back...unable to find clothing that fit.....no thanks.


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RE: IfYouAreOverWeightHowDoYouExpectaDomToBelieveYouCan... - 10/17/2009 12:12:29 PM   
Sundowner


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Oi - holly person - don't you ever read your mails?

Sheesh.

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RE: IfYouAreOverWeightHowDoYouExpectaDomToBelieveYouCan... - 10/17/2009 12:23:13 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		So I skipped from page one to the end, figuring most of the middle was going to be fluff anyway (hey!  that describes ME!)... someone tell me, did anybody harrass him for his most undomly habit of skipping spaces in his thread title? 


Cali


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RE: IfYouAreOverWeightHowDoYouExpectaDomToBelieveYouCan... - 10/17/2009 12:24:29 PM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Sundowner




Oi - holly person - don't you ever read your mails?

Sheesh.
gotcha

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RE: IfYouAreOverWeightHowDoYouExpectaDomToBelieveYouCan... - 10/17/2009 12:27:29 PM   
Sundowner


Posts: 2549
Joined: 3/11/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

So I skipped from page one to the end, figuring most of the middle was going to be fluff anyway (hey!  that describes ME!)... someone tell me, did anybody harrass him for his most undomly habit of skipping spaces in his thread title? 


Cali



Hi beautiful lady! Good to see you!  

It looks as if XI had a word with him. Quelle surprise.


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RE: IfYouAreOverWeightHowDoYouExpectaDomToBelieveYouCan... - 10/17/2009 12:30:38 PM   
Sundowner


Posts: 2549
Joined: 3/11/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly
gotcha


backatcha, and time to go find food.  G'night fair lady.

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RE: IfYouAreOverWeightHowDoYouExpectaDomToBelieveYouCan... - 10/17/2009 12:30:44 PM   
porcelaine


Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: barelynangel

I am overweight right now, i admit its my own choices that have gotten me here -- my choices in food, portions and lacking of exercising as i should and know how to do.) I also know that my choices in the Men who will be interested in me want someone height and weight proportionate and right now i am not. On this board i continuously see the regulars spout personal responsibility and accountability but in discussions regarding this subject suddenly its not something they demand of people.


i concur with all that you've said and believe it is a choice. i also feel it is a topic that people tiptoe around. which i find strange when the subject of control is highly prevalent in the community. this is clearly a demonstration that some control is lacking, medical issues aside. i don't think that pretending or overlooking the problem is a valid solution. but i earnestly believe that the resolution of such starts at home.

porcelaine


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