RE: IfYouAreOverWeightHowDoYouExpectaDomToBelieveYouCanMeetHisNeedsWhenYouNeglectYourOwnHealth?

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RE: IfYouAreOverWeightHowDoYouExpectaDomToBelieveYouCan... - 10/17/2009 12:31:39 PM

CalifChick

Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
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Miss you bunches, SunDude.

Cali

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(in reply to Sundowner)

Post #: 141

RE: IfYouAreOverWeightHowDoYouExpectaDomToBelieveYouCan... - 10/17/2009 12:34:16 PM

Sundowner

Posts: 2549
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Gawd but it's good to see that bum-rope again.

(in reply to CalifChick)

Post #: 142

RE: IfYouAreOverWeightHowDoYouExpectaDomToBelieveYouCan... - 10/17/2009 12:35:16 PM

maat

Posts: 62
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

*laughs* no, i dont think i took the easy way out. I took a differnt way but trust me its a darn hard way to. I cant drink as much as i want, eaven water, i cant eat everything i used to eat and i get sick if i eat to fast, if i eat the wrong thing, if im in a funny mood when i eat. if i dont eat six times a day and if i dont have emergency food with me att all times.

dont get me wrong, gastric bypass surgery is hard on you in a different wya, its not an easy fix,

(in reply to Sundowner)

Post #: 143

RE: IfYouAreOverWeightHowDoYouExpectaDomToBelieveYouCan... - 10/17/2009 12:42:17 PM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

I'm 5'9"and 205 lbs and am coming to grips with the fact that I'm obese. I don't have a lot of extra weight and carry that well, but I have diabetes and need to lose weight. My body thinks I'm obese and it won't listen to me...

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to maat)

Post #: 144

RE: IfYouAreOverWeightHowDoYouExpectaDomToBelieveYouCan... - 10/17/2009 12:53:08 PM

SteelofUtah

Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
Status: offline

If blacklion is still following along I decided to skim every other page and decided I would take a different approach.

You asked a SPECIFIC question.

"If you are overweight how do you expect a dom to believe you can meet his needs when you neglect your own health?"

To this I address a few different points.

1) How shallow are your needs that an overweight cannot meet them?
2) How is being overweight neglecting health? You are aware that not all that long ago Thin meant very UNHEALTHY.

So am left to assume that you mean Grossly Obese.... Which according to standard health guidelines means anything more than 100 pounds overweight. This makes up 65% of the American Population as you so pointed out.

I will agree with most that the BDSM Lifestyle seems to show a trend in heavier women I will give you that there is a trend in girls who are overweight.

That being said I am overweight. I actually fall into the title of Morbidly Obese, which is a strange title when I have a Doctor tell me that other than the Diabetes I am Healthier than he is (Minus the smoking).

My questions posed to you is does my weight keep me from meeting either of my slaves needs? If you believe they do I would pit them both against you in the argument. Weight is a Factor of Size, Health factors in when the way they life in unhealthy. I know quite a few people who are very health concious who are also overweight.

Your DNA has more to do with your weight in some situations than what you eat. And there are MANY reasons that someone can be overweight that has almost NOTHING to do with Excersize or Diet. YES I agree that there are less of those then there are those who have eating issues but as I said earlier there tends to be more heavier people in BDSM then some other lifestyles and so there are perhaps also more of the ones that eating and diet have little to do with why they are heavy.

So I present to you this. How Shallow are your needs that you question anyone who is "overweight"(The only Identifier that you gave in your OP) ability to serve you?

Are you expecting of your subs to fit into a size 2 dress? Run a Marathon? Lift a Buick? And if you do can you please explain to me exactly how those things actually serve you?

Steel

_____________________________

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Resident Therapeutic Metallurgist
The Steel Warm-Up © ™
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(in reply to maat)

Post #: 145

RE: IfYouAreOverWeight - 10/17/2009 1:06:20 PM

DemonKia

Posts: 5521
Joined: 10/13/2007
From: Chico, Nor-Cali
Status: offline

Angel, with all due respect to your doctor, s/he may or may not be up on the latest research trends when it comes to weight & fitness:

Better to Be Fat and Fit Than Skinny and Unfit

&, yep, one article does not a trend make . . . . However, despite many doctors' beliefs that fatness had to correlate with poorer outcomes, the researchers have found that the real correlate to health & survival outcome is fitness, not body mass alone.

Oh, & fyi everyone, if you clip that freakin' subject line in your reply & it might go away . . .. . It's a thought . . . .

< Message edited by DemonKia -- 10/17/2009 1:15:48 PM >

(in reply to barelynangel)

Post #: 146

RE: IfYouAreOverWeight - 10/17/2009 1:09:19 PM

barelynangel

Posts: 6233
Status: offline

Steel, if your doctor is overweight then yeah you may be healthier than he is but also, is your diabetes a result of our weight or of you lost weight it may be control or even go away? Why do you think its shallow for someone to prefer not overweight people are you saying that people MUST somehow have their needs be served by ALL people?

Also, if your doctor is not overweight, he is lying to you if he says you are as healthy, if you are morbidly obese your weight is taking a toll on your body in its joints, in fat versus muscle, and not to mention what your diabetes is doing. So seriously, i would get a new doctor if he is telling you that being morbidly obese (unless he is overweight also) you are healthier than he is.

YOur paragraph about DNA is an excuse and a MINORITY NOT the majority. I still don't get your statement that someone is SHALLOW when they don't believe someone who is overweight can't serve their needs. A Fat man would not be able to meet my needs as a slave. Am i shallow -- no, i am honest.

I hate to tell you this but many men who are in shape and who work to take care of themselves do have expectations of their slaves in the appearance and health and fitness sector. Just as slaves who do the same don't really go for the fat men to serve.

Are you kidding? If a Man is not attractive to overweight women, to look at her doesn't serve him. There are physical issues to contend with due to what he needs, wants and desires. There for MANY health issues with the body that do many times come into play. But all in all, why should a Man take on a fat slave who is not someone who pleases him when he can have someone who is not fat?

Are you seriously trying to ask how chemistry, appearance, and abilities due to the physical shape of a person has a bearing on how that person can serve someone's needs for a slave or sub?

I think you are seeing insult due to your own obesity and your choices and people who have chosen to accept you as you are, and feel people who aren't like those who accept you are shallow. I disagree. I think you are shallow to believe everyone must accept someone by your standards versus their own.

angel

_____________________________

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
R.W. Emerson

(in reply to DemonKia)

Post #: 147

RE: IfYouAreOverWeight - 10/17/2009 1:21:05 PM

Wolf2Bear

Posts: 3204
Joined: 9/6/2009
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~FR~

I seriously wonder if how posters define being fat/obese is an accurate assumption or they are going by the medical community's definition of fat/obese?

Is fat being 5 lbs over?
10 lbs over?
20, 30+ lbs over?

< Message edited by Wolf2Bear -- 10/17/2009 1:22:59 PM >

_____________________________

~Resident Sadist Approved~

Take the pain
Take the pleasure
I'm the master of both
Close your eyes, not your mind
Let me into your soul
I'm gonna work it 'til your totally blown

(in reply to barelynangel)

Post #: 148

RE: IfYouAreOverWeight - 10/17/2009 1:28:17 PM

DemonKia

Posts: 5521
Joined: 10/13/2007
From: Chico, Nor-Cali
Status: offline

FR, after continuing read

Dieting is reliable & so easy? The majority of the population that's overweight, they're just lazy?

Well, maybe you don't know that diets don't really work, not for most people who try them. It's really old news to say that, but the need to gather evidence showing that continues on in the face of all the money to be made by selling people diets:

More Evidence That Diets Don't Work

"As if we needed a reminder that diets mostly fail, The New England Journal of Medicine has published a new report on an intense, tightly controlled experiment involving more than 300 moderately obese people.

"After two years of effort the dieters lost, on average, 6 to 10 pounds. The study, funded in part by the Atkins Research Foundation, seemed designed to prove that low-carb diets trump low-fat diets. But in the end, all it really showed is that dieters can put forth tremendous effort and reap very little benefit."

Even paying dieters cash to lose weight has but the most modest of benefits:

Being Paid to Lose Weight

"The downside was that some of these dieters gained back much of the weight once the cash prizes dried up. Still, seven months later they remained an average of six to nine pounds lighter."

(in reply to Wolf2Bear)

Post #: 149

RE: IfYouAreOverWeight - 10/17/2009 1:32:49 PM

barelynangel

Posts: 6233
Status: offline

Kia, the problem is you have how many articles that contradict this information? THOUSANDS. So sorry you can't focus on this especially with such little information. Sure one can say well i am fat and i am healthy and fit -- i can guarantee you MOST people really don't know if they are or are not. However, from what i understand also, those levels they mention in the article can go from good to bad within a year and since most people get physicals only once a year where those levels are looked at unless they have an issue with them, someone has no clue if they have gone from healthy to unhealthy in a matter of months. Also, the article DOESN'T say that fat people should STAY fat. Unless i missed it. It isn't ADVOCATING being fat. But

Also, i am not sure if you noticed this in the very limited and vague research paper "The independent correlates of clustering of cardiometabolic abnormalities among normal-weight individuals were older age, lower physical activity levels, and larger waist circumference. The independent correlates of 0 or 1 cardiometabolic abnormalities among overweight and obese individuals were younger age, non-Hispanic black race/ethnicity, higher physical activity levels, and smaller waist circumference. "

This study seems very limited in its information. It also is saying that the older people of normal weight (with no indication if they were ever overweight which does have consequences that do linger) were the ones with these issues -- which are we surprised? Also its saying that none or one of these abnormalities existed in younger people -- again, are we really surprised?

Now, it would be interesting if they said that of people the same age with pretty much only their weight being the difference would result in same.

Hey, if it ever becomes something that has more back up, better research papers, and information of details --- i may eventually change my mind. Until then, i will not see that article as anything but a very small concept that is outweighed (no pun intended) by other research.

angel

_____________________________

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
R.W. Emerson

(in reply to barelynangel)

Post #: 150

RE: IfYouAreOverWeightHowDoYouExpectaDomToBelieveYouCan... - 10/17/2009 1:36:08 PM

Justme696

Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveyslave

OK what is with the donkey?

the goats were all gone

(in reply to slaveyslave)

Post #: 151

RE: IfYouAreOverWeightHowDoYouExpectaDomToBelieveYouCan... - 10/17/2009 1:39:59 PM

Toppingfrmbottom

Posts: 6528
Joined: 6/7/2009
Status: offline

Thank you.

quote:

ORIGINAL: suzybeth

quote:

ORIGINAL: Toppingfrmbottom

It's not always laziness to use a scooter, just because you're capable of walking doesn't mean every other fat person out there is. Nor does it mean they won't walk because they're fat...

Point taken, and properly chastised, my apologies.

(in reply to suzybeth)

Post #: 152

RE: IfYouAreOverWeight - 10/17/2009 1:43:48 PM

SteelofUtah

Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
Status: offline

Angel,

Actually my Heart, Liver, and Kidneys are in EXCELENT CONDITION. My Lungs are Average which surprised him because I am a Smoker. And my Pancreas acording to an endocronoligist (SP?) has very little to do with my weight but that losing weight is always a good idea.

When one says Healthy I refer usually to the Processed in the Body and the Blood. All of mine are working the way they are supposed to and well within range for my age and above average for me Weight.

All that being said I should also say that I "PERFER" being a Large man, I wish I had more stamina to play for hours with my son who runs around and around and around for hours on end but I am also happy, sure I might have that stamina if I worked out and changed my eating habits but I really don't want to. I enjoy the way that I am and going on a diet and going to the gym do not sound like things I would enjoy. Because of this I would say that you believe *I* should go on a diet because *YOU* are unhappy with me and that, Yes, Is Shallow.

I would like to ask what *NEEDS* you have that I could not attend to simply because of my weight?

In that, what is it you ASSUME that I CANNOT do simply because I am Overweight. Beyond that I would ask you Of the *NEEDS* that you have what PURPOSE they Serve, In that I would ask you simply why is there a NECESSITY that I have these atributes?

Shallow? Yes, you are Shallow if the only reason you REQUIRE something is for Outward apperance and and have NOTHING to do with the actual person.

The most common excuse is that you want them to take the same pride in their body that you do. You have a Pretty Picture you may be happy with your body, but so am I! Therefore do we not hold the same esteeme for our bodies?

If you can think of a valid reason someones weight ties into meeting your PHYSICAL NEEDS and isn't based in simple attraction then I will gladly reevaluate but if Physical attraction is the only reason then yes You are Shallow. I.E. Skin Deep, I.E. Something that has NOTHING to do with who a person is. Yes Shallow.

Steel

_____________________________

Just Steel
Resident Therapeutic Metallurgist
The Steel Warm-Up © ™
For the Uber Posters
Thanks for the Grammatical support : ) ~ Term

(in reply to DemonKia)

Post #: 153

RE: IfYouAreOverWeight - 10/17/2009 1:44:27 PM

barelynangel

Posts: 6233
Status: offline

Hi Kia, i am not sure who your diet post is directed at but if its directed at me, please show me where i ever said diet? I believe i said most people don't want to change and yeah its a lifestyle and mental change. Any diet works, its the maintenance people have problems with.

Are people who are overweight lazy --- yeah you know what i think they are. And i am not saying that to be mean or whatnot, i am saying in this day and age of fast and easy and convenience, people have grown accustom to same and its easier many times to GRAB something than fix something. In this day and age of cars and technology etc are people lazy yea - i think they are. Am i saying it as lazy as in sloughly - no, i am saying they are accustom and its HARD to change, and its not easy so many times MANY people remain in the comfort of what they are use to even if its harming them, than to change to something different. Especially when you have the easier more convenient etc available without issue.

Kia, you keep coming across as if you don't want any of this to be true, but if you really look around, it is. Sorry but being fat is a choice of MOST people, its decisions they make every day to do something different. I do, i will gladly order a pizza at night when i get home instead of dirtying the kitchen to make a meal for one person. its easier to stop by fast food that to have to clean up pots and pans needed to cook a healthy meal at times. WHen i am exhausted from work, and its 7-8 at night, yeah i make the choice to not work out because i am tired and there is always tomorrow.

I personally don't care if people choose to be fat, but what i don't like is when people act like its not a choice they make, when in the end, it really is for MOST (yeah not all a few do have legitimate issues that cause them to not be able to control their weight) and they always take people questioning them as insulting or something that shouldn't be spoken about.

ITS an issue our whole nation is facing and maybe people need to start seeing it for what it is -- a choice because to do otherwise may be harder than they want to deal with.

angel

< Message edited by barelynangel -- 10/17/2009 2:08:54 PM >

_____________________________

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
R.W. Emerson

(in reply to barelynangel)

Post #: 154

RE: IfYouAreOverWeight - 10/17/2009 1:55:09 PM

odysseyIndeed

Posts: 121
Joined: 9/30/2009
Status: offline

It's not a "choice" for me. i cannot speak for others and people are overweight for a variety of reasons, but i know it is not a "choice" for me. i was genetically predisposed to be overweight, i was obese before i was a year old, and i have run the gambit of eating from starving myself to living a healthy lifestyle (which as i said previously i have done with relative consistently for the last ten years) and it has not made me thin. It has made me more healthy, but i will never be thin.

(in reply to barelynangel)

Post #: 155

RE: IfYouAreOverWeightHowDoYouExpectaDomToBelieveYouCan... - 10/17/2009 1:57:09 PM

thornhappy

Posts: 8596
Joined: 12/16/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: barelynangel
Being overweight especially obese nowadays is an OUTWARD SIGN to anyone looking that the person on some level does not take the care they should with themselves.
angel

You know, I've known a hell of a lot of thin to medium built people that took abysmal care of themselves. Smoking (various things), drinking like fish, abusing various drugs, etc. Eating crap and not exercising. They had poor strength and aerobic capacity. But society gave them a ride because they aren't overweight or obese. An obese character is automatically assumed to have a character defect.

I was having bad problems with foot and joint pain 2 years ago. Really bad pain, so that it was hard to walk. So, was it due to obesity? No, it was due to a Vitamin D deficiency.

If obesity was a simple issue, you wouldn't see so many people lose weight and gain it back after a year or two. Less than 10% keep the weight off. Pharmaceutical companies would've found simple medication for it, and the more they look into it, the more complicated the problem is. There's even preliminary evidence that it could be due to a virus.

But if you exercise and are revising your diet, and are obese, you're a curse on mankind.

Back to the OP, lots of people could show that they serve their masters/mistresses well, and they'd have a wide range of weights.

< Message edited by thornhappy -- 10/17/2009 2:08:47 PM >

(in reply to barelynangel)

Post #: 156

RE: IfYouAreOverWeight - 10/17/2009 2:02:56 PM

barelynangel

Posts: 6233
Status: offline

quote:

I enjoy the way that I am and going on a diet and going to the gym do not sound like things I would enjoy.

Steel THIS IS what i am speaking if YOU have choosen and admit its a choice YOU MAKE. FOR MOST PEOPLE IT IS AND THEY DON'T WANT TO ADMIT IT. However, you choose to be fat and yet you want to cry false when people don't find your attractive or want a relationship with you and call them shallow.. interesting. IF you want a woman who doesn't like fat Men to be interested in you and chooses NOT to be interested in you because she doesn't like YOUR choices for yourself, that is not being shallow, its simply you having to deal with the consequences of YOUR decision to be fat. PEOPLE don't have to find it attractive or accepting it in everyone and not being selective as far as appearance. Its not shallow, its called i like what i like, and i don't like people who appear overweight as a choice for someone in my relationships THATS the right of people and choosing who they want to be with includes a lot of things and YEAH ONE OF THOSE IS APPEARANCE.

Okay you asked so i will be honet based on the fact you are 100 lbs overweight. Honestly, okay you say you are 100 lbs overweight what needs would i believe could not be met -- now mind you this is based on say a first hello --- NOT SOMEONE with intimate knowledge of you that they initially decided your weight doesn't bother them -- i also would have to SEE you in order to generate a full opinion but here are some basics i could see an initial hello and meeting could generate as you are incapable because of your appearance -- 1) you would appear to me to be a man of very little self discipline because you choose to be overweight so i would have a hard time seeing how you could meet my needs of discipline and mastery when you haven't mastered yourself or choose not to because exercise and eating healthy aren't what you want, 2) my sexual needs would be effected because i don't find fat men appealing so yeah that's kind of a need that would be effected and yes its a major one, 3) My respect for you would have to be analyzed because if you accept that in yourself, would you expect and accept it of me -- as i don't want a Man who would except that in me, 4) what kind of example would you be for my children in this day and age where they are bombarded with eating healthy, weight control, and exercise, and these are just off the top of my head and not analyzed at all. So yeah, i could see how a Dom who is in shape and not overweight could very well have needs he wants met that he could see not happening with someone overweight.

STEEL, YOU CAN be happy with your body, your girlfriends, slaves and whatnot can be, however, that doesn't mean someone who would rather something else due to your being morbidly obese is shallow because they don't find you appealing to them or chemistry feeling. YOu want to make it WRONG for people to NOT want to find you appealing just because you are happy obese. Sorry it doesn't work like that, if you want to make people shallow for not finding you appealing due to your weight and your CHOICE to be that way, then they are allowed to find you lazy and not capable of meeting their needs for the same reasons. You can't have it both ways. You can't say they can't judge me and yet you judge them beause they don't agree with you.

I don't know ONE PERSON here who would forgo their own needs for a relationship to passify some polticially correct BS of not finding fat people attractive and feel they need to passify the PC concept by accepting a fat person in a relationship when they aren't attracted to the person becasue of their weight. THAT is simply BS and its a ploy many fat people use to try and make those who don't want them for a relationship to be the BAD person instead of simply a person with different wants, needs and desires.

Oh and that's not me, its an avatar, however, people who know me say she does look like me when i was a slave lol. Ahh memories. I am not as that picture is anymore, but i am hoping to be by next year lol or at least a 40 year old version of same. When i change my choices it will happen.

angel

< Message edited by barelynangel -- 10/17/2009 2:13:53 PM >

_____________________________

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
R.W. Emerson

(in reply to barelynangel)

Post #: 157

RE: IfYouAreOverWeightHowDoYouExpectaDomToBelieveYouCan... - 10/17/2009 2:08:27 PM

amaidiamond

Posts: 1793
Joined: 2/6/2006
From: Watford / London
Status: offline

Hmmm

From the OP's posts, oppinions and comments it's obvious he's a non drinking, non smoking young man in the prime of life with a BMI of 22.5 and runs 3 miles a day and therefor the pretty much perfectttttt real and twue Dom but..

"For those of you with limits.. you have an appointment to Dom yourself.. get to it. "

Opens his mouth in the profile with this....sighs...i was going to offer myself to him hogtied and naked on a plate and he had to go and ruin it all....

(in reply to sirsholly)

Post #: 158

RE: IfYouAreOverWeight - 10/17/2009 2:09:05 PM

SteelofUtah

Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
Status: offline

Like I said Angel, you are indeed Shallow.

Here is the definition because you seem not to know what it means

Main Entry: 1shal·low Pronunciation: \ˈsha-(ˌ)lō\Function: adjective Etymology: Middle English schalowe; probably akin to Old English sceald shallow — more at skeletonDate: 14th century1 : having little depth <shallow water>2 : having little extension inward or backward <office buildings have taken the form of shallow slabs — Lewis Mumford>3 a : penetrating only the easily or quickly perceived <shallow generalizations> b : lacking in depth of knowledge, thought, or feeling <a shallow demagogue>4 : displacing comparatively little air : weak <shallow breathing>
synonyms see superficial
— shal·low·ly \-lō-lē, -lə-lē\ adverb
— shal·low·ness noun

Yes the fact that you would judge someone worthy of having a relationship with based solely on their weight is Shallow.

Own who you are.

Steel

_____________________________

Just Steel
Resident Therapeutic Metallurgist
The Steel Warm-Up © ™
For the Uber Posters
Thanks for the Grammatical support : ) ~ Term

(in reply to barelynangel)

Post #: 159

RE: IfYouAreOverWeight - 10/17/2009 2:10:14 PM

DemonKia

Posts: 5521
Joined: 10/13/2007
From: Chico, Nor-Cali
Status: offline

Angel, I'll be impressed when you post one article . . . . .

I'm always glad to see you sharing your opinion, but without offering up any outside info other than your opinion, that's all it ever reads as . . . .

& I'd like you to note that I find your opinion very interesting & useful when it's about, say, being a slave. But it's less than persuasive, even accompanied by lots of words, when it's about other topics that don't appear to be your strong suit . . . . .

& it's your misrepresentation of my point to interpret what I'm offering as me saying 'people should stay fat' -- I never said that . . . But go right ahead & keep arguing that point with whoever you're arguing it with . . . . . . . I've said, clearly & repeatedly, that fitness is considered to be more crucial to long-term health outcomes than body size alone . . . . . . That's my point. Just so we're really really clear about this . . . . . .

& note also, that dragging out research from 50, 40, 30, 20, or even 10 years ago may not be as relevant as you might think . . . . Those thousands of articles, most of 'em are old & not-so-correct science -- it's an evolving, constantly moving field, science is, & research that's as little as a decade out of date can be seriously wrong, or asking the wrong questions . . . . . . .

(in reply to barelynangel)

Post #: 160

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