leadership527
Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
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quote:
ORIGINAL: homedespot
The reason I assume(d) that this will degenerate into a "your evil, or he's stupid" thread is because when we both noticed the increasing distance about 18 months ago he posted this: http://www.collarchat.com/m_1546079/mpage_1/tm.htm
Which got a lot of interesting answers but over time seemed to fall apart, with one poster, telling him:
"She's already interested in someone else. She's made that clear. You have several choices....the most important being (from a fellow sub); get out...she's shopping you. Get out before you're old news. You're already page 6...she's "better dealing" you."
Heh, there is a jerry springer-esque element to collarme. People very much want to find something awful to point to. Just be aware of the bias.
quote:
Somehow in his writing he was unable to convey that he was "okay" (and we were okay) but "curious" So here we are, even further down this path (and still just fine)...and I got curious again. Heh, my guess is he probably conveyed it just fine and nobody wanted to hear it.
quote:
I think my conclusion is that I am simply more extreme in my view of "24/7 slavery" than many dominants here on CM.
One of the things I've figured out is that the word "extreme" means nothing. The reason, of course, is that the ways I measure the D/s dynamic and the ways you and other people do aren't even remotely similar. What that means is that TO ME, a lot of other relationships don't look very extreme. Conversely, to a lot of other people, my relationship looks pretty wussy.
quote:
And that my ability to maintain a relationship in which romantic feelings are diminished is unusual.
Yup, that part I suspect IS actually unusual. I don't recall reading or talkign to a lot of folks that started with a love based relationship and moved to a service based one. As "extreme" as I think I've gotten with mine, it is still and always will be love based.
quote:
And that he is also unusual in that he not only *says* that he wants that extreme form of domination but it isn't purely fantasy on his part...he really does want it. But I do feel that there is a natural progression. Things tend to follow a certain path. As we've grown or changed we've seen a lot of this. We will read something or see something and think it is really 'out there', only to recognize ourselves there a few years later. I thought I could find people who have been down that path, but perhaps those people don't frequent CM or don't read my writing or aren't interested in the ramblings of those behind them. Again, this story is a lot like mine. Certainly, our dynamic has grown over the last two years and things that were unthinkable 2 years ago are commonplace now. The things I contemplate now would've sent me running for the hills then. But unlike you, I do not equate the lack of love with a strong authority dynamic. To me, removing the love aspect leaves a pale and ephemeral shell of a thing not worth my time or attention to do -- which is as it should be. We all need to build the relationships that work for us.
I should think that you could ignore the stuff about the transition from vanilla... who cares? What is current fact for you now is a service-based M/s relationship and you are not the only one on Collarme to have such a thing.
Out of idle curiosity, did you two start out as 24x7 cohabitating and are you now?
< Message edited by leadership527 -- 10/18/2009 8:44:22 AM >
_____________________________
~Jeff
I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael
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the movement from vanilla to D/s - 
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