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Don't you like men? - 10/17/2009 3:52:37 PM   
SnowRanger


Posts: 503
Joined: 5/25/2008
From: Sinsinnati
Status: offline 		Hello A/all,

I don't want to betray any confidences here; but, here goes.

I had a pleasant meeting with a Domina recently.  The conversation turned to how we got interested in the D/s lifestyle.  I figured that she'd tell a story about wrestling her boy friend or something.  She related to me of a...  well... a 'negative experience' (understatement belive me) a few years ago.  Then she said that she wanted to give it to guys ever since.  There was this chill in my blood....

Ladies, is this common?  Are there many out there who have a score to settle with men?  Can't you like me and still want to spank me?

Cautiously,
Mike
SnowRanger


_____________________________

You can't help where you were born; and, you may not have much to say about where you die; but, you can and you should try to pass the days in between as a good man.
Anton Myrer Once an Eagle
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Don't you like men? - 10/17/2009 4:31:42 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		I won't lie to you, mike.  There are some females who get into S/m as some kind of revenge tactic.  (That's not a sexist statement, btw.  Some males do it, too.)

It's not the case the majority of the time.  I know it's hard, but don't let one bad apple spoil the bunch.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to SnowRanger)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Don't you like men? - 10/17/2009 4:33:46 PM   
pyroaquatic


Posts: 1535
Joined: 12/4/2006
From: Pyroaquatica
Status: offline 		Does love or hate hurt more?

says the man clutching the rose.


_____________________________

You are what your deep, driving desire is.
As your desire is, so is your will.
As your will is, so is your deed.
As your deed is, so is your destiny.
-Brihadaranyaka Upanishad IV.4.5

(in reply to LadyPact)
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RE: Don't you like men? - 10/17/2009 4:35:32 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		I'm going to resist the temptation to flirt.  Mark your calendars, folks.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to pyroaquatic)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Don't you like men? - 10/17/2009 4:38:42 PM   
DemonKia


Posts: 5521
Joined: 10/13/2007
From: Chico, Nor-Cali
Status: offline 		Mike, personally, if the case was flipped around & it was some guy who was working out his issues with women, I'd run (not walk) away . .. . .



Hell, if it was a woman bitchin' about other women, I'd run . . . .

Or a man with all that pent up stuff about other guys -- I'm still running . . . . ..

In my book, BDSM play is no place to bring one's anger, bitterness, resentment, et al. . . . . . & I'm very damn picky about who I bottom to . .. . .

_____________________________

Snarko ergo sum.



The Verbossinator

(in reply to pyroaquatic)
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RE: Don't you like men? - 10/17/2009 4:39:40 PM   
SnowRanger


Posts: 503
Joined: 5/25/2008
From: Sinsinnati
Status: offline 		WOW Milady... and thanks.

(in reply to LadyPact)
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RE: Don't you like men? - 10/17/2009 4:41:50 PM   
Politesub53


Posts: 14862
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		I would think some men like the idea of a Domina who has no time for him and just intends to hurt and humiliate. I cant understand that thinking but dont doubt it exists.

(in reply to DemonKia)
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RE: Don't you like men? - 10/17/2009 4:51:57 PM   
porcelaine


Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SnowRanger

Ladies, is this common?  Are there many out there who have a score to settle with men?  Can't you like me and still want to spank me?


unpleasant experiences can yield two outcomes. lessons we learn from or fear based responses. the latter can be expressed as inertia, hesitance, or revenge. you will encounter many on both sides of the whip that exhibit this behavior. they are a danger to themselves and those who unwittingly put their trust in them.

i believe it is possible to like someone and still possess a desire to beat the living snot out of them. however, everyone is wired differently and many don't require an emotional attachment (including likability) for these things to occur. i admit i could probably allow the same, but i believe doing so would compromise me in ways that i wouldn't enjoy in the long term. my response would be more akin to masochism than slavery. i don't believe the first would be fulfilling.

porcelaine


_____________________________

His will; my fate.

(in reply to SnowRanger)
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RE: Don't you like men? - 10/17/2009 4:57:28 PM   
VampiresLair


Posts: 1307
Joined: 9/3/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SnowRanger
Ladies, is this common?  Are there many out there who have a score to settle with men?  Can't you like me and still want to spank me?


Actually, the dominants who have it out for the gender are few and far between. For the majority of us, we HAVE to like you to want to spank you.

DV


_____________________________

Separately we are DiurnalVampire and DVsFox

10/18 Wedding date. 1 year and still blissfully happy

10/13/10 3 year anniversary of his becoming my Fox

Talk impolitely to me, baby - Thanks sunshinemiss



(in reply to SnowRanger)
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RE: Don't you like men? - 10/17/2009 5:06:48 PM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		I love men, in fact I own one I love them so much. I've always liked men and wish no ill upon the male gender. Some women though have been put through hell and so they are jaded (and vice versa). It just depends upon the individual.

~Lashra

_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”






(in reply to SnowRanger)
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RE: Don't you like men? - 10/17/2009 5:10:48 PM   
Misstoyou


Posts: 1149
Joined: 9/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: VampiresLair

Actually, the dominants who have it out for the gender are few and far between. For the majority of us, we HAVE to like you to want to spank you.




Precisely. And why that is so difficult for many men to understand eludes me.

_____________________________

~ Miss Marie

a.k.a. "mean Lady"


(in reply to VampiresLair)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Don't you like men? - 10/17/2009 5:27:12 PM   
MsRose


Posts: 98
Joined: 5/1/2004
Status: offline 		I like men. Love them in fact. I also like hurting men. Love hurting them in fact. As a safe and sane individual, I am rest assured that I have no personal vendettas, issues or violent intentions toward men. I think therapy is the place where you work that stuff out. I could be wrong, but that's my philosophy. Perhaps you might wish to suggest to this domina that talking about her problems re men, rather than beating them, might be a better solution.  Then walk away.

My 2 pennies.

_____________________________

"man is born free, and everywhere he is in chains" ~ Rousseau.

(in reply to Misstoyou)
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RE: Don't you like men? - 10/17/2009 5:44:07 PM   
sweetsub1957


Posts: 2201
Joined: 4/28/2009
Status: offline 		~Fast Reply~
I think I'd get the hell outta there, really fast!!  Wow!!

_____________________________

Member: Lance's Fag Hags.

"That's not just a chip on her shoulder, that's the whole potato!" ~Lady Angelika~

In lowering yourself to talking behind my back, you're perfectly positioned to kiss my ass.

An it harm none, do what ye wilt.

(in reply to MsRose)
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RE: Don't you like men? - 10/17/2009 5:44:49 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SnowRanger

WOW Milady... and thanks.


Anytime, sweetie.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to SnowRanger)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Don't you like men? - 10/17/2009 6:27:12 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		I've seen women state this outright, that somebody hurt them and so they're dominant in order to avoid that again. The problem with this is that they still aren't dominant by nature. They're control freaks to the outside world because they feel out of control inside themselves. May be self protection instead of revenge, but isn't what I would describe as a dominant nature.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to LadyPact)
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RE: Don't you like men? - 10/17/2009 7:06:09 PM   
AcademyForSlaves


Posts: 712
Joined: 2/24/2006
Status: offline 		In my opinion you don't have to HATE men to dominate them. I dominate with LOVE. It's shocking to know there's some people in the world who take one gender and literally lump them all together as if they're one person. I try not to take a bad experience out on someone and that should go for both parties. Why should a person suffer because of something that someone else did to you, right?

Hope this helps.

_____________________________

Academy Mistresses
http://www.academyforslaves.com/home.html

(in reply to DesFIP)
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RE: Don't you like men? - 10/17/2009 7:07:04 PM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

I'm going to resist the temptation to flirt.  Mark your calendars, folks.


dammit, between this, vet appointments, etc, that ,little square is overflowing....


_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to LadyPact)
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RE: Don't you like men? - 10/17/2009 7:09:07 PM   
MsFlutter


Posts: 1305
Joined: 11/12/2008
From: East Coast
Status: offline 		I'm definitely a liker of men :)

There are, without a doubt, a number of females who have a serious ax to grind and decorate their agenda in the wardrobe of BDSM. I dont use the term 'man hater' often but there seems to quite a few of them on this coast. Strikes me as an unhealthy use of energy - not to mention a great way to buy oneself a big load of bad karma.

I agree with Vampires Lair - I have to like you to spank you. I have to like you to do ANYthing to you other than ignore you. If I like you, the creative energy produces all sorts of interesting things.


_____________________________

'Dont torture yourself, Gomez darling. That's my job' Morticia Addams

"The right data, filtered through an idiot, can yield a bad answer." einstien5201

(in reply to DesFIP)
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RE: Don't you like men? - 10/17/2009 8:07:06 PM   
AlexandraLynch


Posts: 778
Joined: 3/24/2008
Status: offline 		I find, in fact, that when I hurt someone it's a very intimate thing. Some girls can't have sex promiscuously because they fall in love with the guys they sleep with. Me, I can't play with just anyone because I fall a little in love with the people I hurt. 

_____________________________

I use fastreply. Don't take offence where none is meant.

Just because I'm not a bitch doesn't mean I'm not perfectly capable of making sure you'll be very sorry if you disobey.

(in reply to MsFlutter)
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RE: Don't you like men? - 10/17/2009 8:08:53 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

I'm going to resist the temptation to flirt.  Mark your calendars, folks.


/Strides in front of LadyP manfully to test her resolve/


_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 20
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