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RE: Don't you like men? - 10/17/2009 10:17:09 PM

MadameMarque

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I only hurt the ones I love. I think I'd like for a very close relationship to afford me the ability to play angry, sometimes - but not angry at my partner.

I would say that venting anger at your partner under the guise of BDSM is toxic.

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RE: Don't you like men? - 10/17/2009 11:24:06 PM

DrkJourney

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Actually, I don't think it's safe to practice D/s when you are under the influence of drugs, alchohol, or even hatred.

Any of these can get someone hurt or worse.

Honestly, I have known a few over the years that felt that way, men and women, but 99% of us just love the lifestyle. Dominance or submission just comes naturally without us even giving it a thought. It's not spurned by something that happened in the past.

That person needs some serious counseling before she hurts someone...please tell me you flew out of that meeting, never to return

You'll find what you are looking for, just give it time and never settle. This is one case where it pays to be careful and picky..lol

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RE: Don't you like men? - 10/17/2009 11:46:04 PM

Tantriqu

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I *love* men, and men only.
I only assfuck the ones I really, really like, and who like Me.
As for the person you talked to, she's not a Domme: damaged, yes, sadistic, yes, and as had been said above, run away. No lifestyle Domme would touch a man with a ten foot crop with those sensations coursing through her.

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RE: Don't you like men? - 10/18/2009 6:03:51 AM

FullfigRIMAAM1

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I have to really like a man, before I would consider having him as a submissive or slave, to use at my pleasure.
The person you met has issues to be sure, but issues aren't that uncommon. Many submissives/slaves want a lady who will treat them in a dreadful way, and not show any affection... I don't understand it, but they are out there. M

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RE: Don't you like men? - 10/18/2009 9:08:24 AM

allthatjaz

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I have seen two acts of very nasty 'supposed dominance' on the scene. One was from a lesbian Domme that took on men only when she was feeling angry and the other was from a woman who felt very bitter about her husbands infidelities.
I don't believe it is that common but I believe its something that most submissive men would recognize very quickly even if nothing was ever said.

But.....

You didn't talk about her initial experience that influenced her wanting to Dominate and it has me wondering if what she did out of anger triggered a sexual urge in her that she now enjoyed re-playing. She may hate what she did but accept that she got physically turned on by it. If so it doesn't have to mean she hates men or needs to feel angry with them but that she simply role-plays the thing that initially turned her on.
I for example remember one of my first acts of dominance without understanding what dominance was, was when I really told this male friend of mine off for doing something that had upset me. He stood there with his head bowed and apologized and I suddenly had this strong urge to slap his face (I resisted). As it happened I nearly had an orgasm on the spot and I know that was what instigated my initial thoughts in domination.

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RE: Don't you like men? - 10/18/2009 9:29:10 AM

Lockit

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I had a woman contact me and wanted me to co-dominante her submissive when she was out of town and keep an on going thing with him to keep things under control when she was gone. She kept saying that I was what she was looking for. My first response was it was a man... once she proved she wasn't a man and the situation was for real, I asked more questions trying to figure things out. I just didn't get the shared submissive thing, so I was curious.

When she said... Even if you weren't interested, think about this, you can take out all your frustrations from all the things that men did to you, on him. Whoa! Now wait just a minute! That isn't my idea of what a dominant is and what they do! I told her what I thought of that and her methods and declined the offer.

I have actually seen some, mostly online, that might scare the hell out of me if I didn't feel safe already. I can't even bare to hear their very willing submissive/slaves talk about what happens and have been one of many dominant's that tried to explain how unsafe what someone was doing, in the right situation. Most didn't want to listen at the time, but later showed up, pretty upset.

Anger or revenge has no place in what I do and what I do is typically with someone I have some connection or feelings for.

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RE: Don't you like men? - 10/18/2009 9:36:48 AM

LadyHibiscus

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Okay, I have to admit it, I really don't like men. I have always, and no doubt will always, prefer the company of women. But, I am pretty much het. So, it's either men, or... ???

Honestly, Mike, I would run from anyone who has it in for an entire species. That's just scary.

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RE: Don't you like men? - 10/18/2009 9:36:54 AM

LadyJulieAnn

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Count me in as another Domme who loves men and loves to dominate them.

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RE: Don't you like men? - 10/18/2009 3:23:53 PM

leadership527

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SnowRanger
Ladies, is this common? Are there many out there who have a score to settle with men? Can't you like me and still want to spank me?

Actually, I have this very question, both here and in vanilla-land. Here, what makes me ask that question is the popularity of the "Stupid male sub" threads. In vanilla land, it is the two young women bitching about all the bad things men do as they are prepping to go out cruising the bars for a date. In the interests of fairness, the same things happen in reverse. Sometimes I wonder if most people don't actually like the other gender, they just feel stuck with them somehow.

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~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

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RE: Don't you like men? - 10/18/2009 3:47:46 PM

LadyPact

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quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

quote:

ORIGINAL: SnowRanger
Ladies, is this common? Are there many out there who have a score to settle with men? Can't you like me and still want to spank me?

Actually, I have this very question, both here and in vanilla-land. Here, what makes me ask that question is the popularity of the "Stupid male sub" threads. In vanilla land, it is the two young women bitching about all the bad things men do as they are prepping to go out cruising the bars for a date. In the interests of fairness, the same things happen in reverse. Sometimes I wonder if most people don't actually like the other gender, they just feel stuck with them somehow.

Well, for some of us, Jeff (nice to see you in Mistress, btw) there isn't any option of batting for the other team.

OK, on a serious note, I think you have to look at it from the perspective coming from disappointing arrangements. See, you've always had Carol with you since you started your M/s journey. Take My word for it that it isn't always that easy for some trying to get into authority based dynamics to make these things work.

The popularity of the 'stupid male sub' threads is often born of frustration. I literally asked someone on a thread where in the world some of his comments came from. A good number of these males aren't as submissive as My cat, yet they continue the same line of bs.

There are good ones out there, but it can be hard not to be jaded at times. In the last few months, there have been some subs new to the boards that I've thought were pretty promising and if they were in My location, I'd have thrown My hat in the ring. Still, they are the few compared to the many and they end up having to work twice as hard for people to recognize that they really do have what it takes.

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RE: Don't you like men? - 10/18/2009 4:14:35 PM

leadership527

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
Well, for some of us, Jeff (nice to see you in Mistress, btw) there isn't any option of batting for the other team.

*laughs* yeah, I'm kind of stuck with women too in that regard. Happily, I happen to LIKE women so that works out well for me *laughs*

quote:

The popularity of the 'stupid male sub' threads is often born of frustration. I literally asked someone on a thread where in the world some of his comments came from. A good number of these males aren't as submissive as My cat...]

*snorts soda* OK, that one is going ot make me laugh for days. But seriously LP, I get that there are a lot of ... well... less than optimum partners out there. What I do not get is the willingness to allow the bad experiences to color an entire viewpoint. I've always just assumed that it was the natural human desire to feel better about oneself by putting everyone else down. Not that I am some paragon of perfection (*laughs* as recent threads have shown), but honestly I try to avoid such threads and thinking both for fear that it will only be poisoning myself. If I want to find a woman, then I'd damned well better still like them by the time I DO find that perfect partner.

And as an aside, women have a tendency to openly bitch about men in ways that would be socially unaceptable were the tables turned. As a man, I am frequently affronted by comments that women make without even thinking about it. I take solace in the fact that any other thinking male would be also so such women are dealing themselves out of the the very thing they would like to find.

And thanks for the welcome.. You and Dame Calla have managed to convince me that perhaps the femdom world isn't quite as inscrutable as I had previously thought.

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~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

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RE: Don't you like men? - 10/18/2009 4:25:54 PM

GraciousLady

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Of course there are people who have alternative agendas in all walks of life. If a Dominant has no caring or respect for you then you are not safe and nurtured. I myself have to have an emotional connection to want to wrap you in a sheet and put you in the back of my closet over night. It's just the way I show how much I care.

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RE: Don't you like men? - 10/18/2009 4:37:09 PM

LadyPact

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If you met My cat, you'd probably laugh even harder.

I understand where you are coming from in not allowing negative experiences to shape us, but you have to look at it from both sides. This is also how we learn our lessons in life so they are not repeated. In some ways, it also helps us grow.

Every once in a while, a little venting is good. Not to the point where we become bitter and are painting everyone within a particular category with the same brush, but at least to relieve a little tension every now and again. I don't know about anyone else, but every so often I'll sit on My side of the screen and whatever is in front of Me almost makes Me want to hit My head against the desk. When those kind of threads come up, I know I'm not alone in the way I'm feeling.

Oh, and you're quite welcome for the welcome. LOL. I think you'll find some of us fem Ds aren't so bad after all.

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The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

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RE: Don't you like men? - 10/18/2009 9:25:13 PM

LadyNTrainer

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quote:

ORIGINAL: VampiresLair
Actually, the dominants who have it out for the gender are few and far between. For the majority of us, we HAVE to like you to want to spank you.

This would about cover it.

That, and the inherent stupidity of deciding that you don't like 51% of the human race. There are very definitely some men I do not like, and some women I do not like. But I don't dislike them just because they are men, or women, or black, or white, or Asian. That's called "bigotry", and it's irrational. They have to individually do something to piss me off before I decide I don't like them. And at that point I sure as heck don't want to play with them.

BDSM is an intimate exchange of power, energy and sometimes sex. Why in the world would anyone want to do it with somebody they didn't like?

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RE: Don't you like men? - 10/19/2009 7:48:16 AM

ShaktiSama

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SnowRanger
Ladies, is this common? Are there many out there who have a score to settle with men? Can't you like me and still want to spank me?

Speaking solely for myself? I can't do things any other way, Ranger. I can't do anything sexual with a person I dislike or distrust--that includes D/S activities.

There is a profound difference between spanking/topping someone and beating them up. I am capable of both, and have been involved with real violence more than once, and I never mix the two. Also, I personally am not comfortable with people who do, although I understand that it's probably a notch healthier than the Aileen Wuornos approach.

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RE: Don't you like men? - 10/19/2009 7:55:14 AM

LaTigresse

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

I won't lie to you, mike. There are some females who get into S/m as some kind of revenge tactic. (That's not a sexist statement, btw. Some males do it, too.)

Yes, there is a frequent poster on these forums that admitted to me he detests submissive women and his interactions with them, reflect that.

I cannot imagine hating anyone simply because of gender. Especially not men. I actually prefer working with men for various reasons. Even as a child, at gatherings, the only reason to spend any time around the women was to listen to gossip the kids were not supposed to know. And that was only when the men were napping after dinner. The rest of the time I was tagging along, listening to conversations about tractors, cattle, whatever.

As far as being intimate, and M/s and BDSM is very intimate to me, I cannot imagine that intimacy with someone I did not like. If I do not care for a woman, I will not have any desire to share any sort of BDSM activities with her. It just won't be there.

< Message edited by LaTigresse -- 10/19/2009 7:59:10 AM >

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Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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RE: Don't you like men? - 10/19/2009 12:40:56 PM

Acer49

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SnowRanger

Hello A/all,

I don't want to betray any confidences here; but, here goes.

I had a pleasant meeting with a Domina recently. The conversation turned to how we got interested in the D/s lifestyle. I figured that she'd tell a story about wrestling her boy friend or something. She related to me of a... well... a 'negative experience' (understatement belive me) a few years ago. Then she said that she wanted to give it to guys ever since. There was this chill in my blood....

Ladies, is this common? Are there many out there who have a score to settle with men? Can't you like me and still want to spank me?

Cautiously,
Mike
SnowRanger

Well if you figure a woman gets raped every six minutes, I would venture a guess ....yes. I'd say there would be more than a few

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RE: Don't you like men? - 10/19/2009 3:41:35 PM

GYPSYMAMBO

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OP:
I LOVE MEN...I only bite...whip..flog...hug..kiss...make love to..ass fuk..ass love..tie..milk..share poetry and art with men I love very much.

These are most intimate acts...and are reserved for those I love.

I encounter many subs who do not get the love part and are very confused.
They are ususally wounded or bring abuse baggage with them and often find
a DOMME such as the one in your post.

GM
ps..I too have had many traumatic occurances in my life with men..at an early age..and choose not to pull out these WOUND FILES and apply them to ALL MEN.
What has a loving loyal and eager sub got to do with
a vile rapist from 1960?

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RE: Don't you like men? - 10/19/2009 3:45:46 PM

IBused

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I love these Dommes...yeah, get even..........Harder....Harder...Harder, and then he bows and sez..Sorry Ma'am

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