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[Poll]

What Brought You into Bdsm


Watching others?
  2% (4)
Reading about it?
  30% (42)
Word of Mouth?
  7% (11)
Watching a video?
  2% (3)
Born into it?
  46% (64)
Something just on T.V.?
  2% (4)
Other
  7% (11)


Total Votes : 139
(last vote on : 3/14/2006 1:55:41 PM)
(Poll will run till: -- )
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RE: What Brought You into Bdsm - 9/2/2004 6:54:09 PM   
LadyBeckett


Posts: 865
Joined: 2/4/2004
From: Scotland/Tennessee
Status: offline 		"My daddy was a Pistol, and I'm a son of a Gun..."

When I say that I was born into the lifestyle, what I mean is that my parents were lifestlye. So were my grandparents, and some Aunts, Uncles, and most family friends. The basement was remodeled into the Dungeon, and there were slaves. I grew up with lifestyle as my first language. I didn't make my entrance into the world with a single tail, but I was spanking playmates, and delegating chores before I was reading "Dick and Jane".

_____________________________

Lady Beckett

_______________________________________________

"Submissive boys yearn to fall into their proper place, so the rest of their life will." ~ Lady Beckett

(in reply to afmvdp)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: What Brought You into Bdsm - 9/2/2004 9:13:50 PM   
IOPan


Posts: 4
Joined: 7/14/2004
Status: offline 		Born in to it, from the time I hit puberty fantasies about tying up or enslaving beautiful women are all I can remember. I'd watch horror movies late into the night just waiting from the bondage scenes. It wasn't until I was 14 and stumbled into a shop in Time Square selling bondage magazines that I realized there were other people who liked this sort of thing.

(in reply to LadyBeckett)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: What Brought You into Bdsm - 9/3/2004 1:53:09 AM   
squirrelfury


Posts: 44
Joined: 8/20/2004
From: Houston, Texas
Status: offline 		Read books with inherent themes of sexuality/BDSM (The Joy of Sex, the Beauty trilogy, et cetera) when I was around 14, and that laid the foundation, I think. Didn't actually discover it as a viable, pleasant option until I was 18-ish, following a friend into a chat room. Sat back for a few days and watched, picking up the lingo and some of the theory, hunted it down offline, and transitioned to a flesh-and-blood existence as a sub. Been happily slutting ever since.

_____________________________

~Squirrel~
I wept for I had no shoes, then I met the bastard who took them. Who's crying *now*, fetish-boy?

From a word to a word I was led to a word, from a deed to another deed.

(in reply to knees2you)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: What Brought You into Bdsm - 9/3/2004 5:39:43 AM   
merrymasochist


Posts: 156
Joined: 9/2/2004
Status: offline 		i don't know if one can be "born" into it, so to speak, but i do believe that one can certainly be predisposed to it... i began at 4yrs old when i found out just what that bathtub faucet could do for me... i started experimenting with hot and cold not long after and the rest is history

(in reply to knees2you)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: What Brought You into Bdsm - 9/8/2004 12:47:25 PM   
PranksterBitch


Posts: 61
Joined: 9/3/2004
Status: offline 		Born with a predisposition to it ... I am 3rd of 6 siblings. My aunts said I was a problem for my mom because I forced her to parent me the way I wanted her to.

You may be a mini domme if:

You talk the boys into playing "You show me yours and I'll show you mine" only to have them jump up and down, bend over and anything else you can imagine ... tell them thank you and then walk away knowing they cannot tell on you ... at the age of 5.

We won't even go into the headaches I caused while being hospitalized in a baby bed to get my tonsils out. I had a family friend who was also going through it and to this day reminds me of what a total bitch I was about being in a crib at the age of 5.

You cry with happiness when your father builds a jail over the sand box to keep your playmates locked up at the age of 6. My father finally told me it was to keep the cats from using it as a catbox. Shrugs.

You force your sister to wet her pants as a punishment for not doing your chores without complaining ... at 8.

I could go on and on and on .. but I'm sure you have the picture. Smirk .. I am so jealous of those who grew up knowing this was a common thing. I grew up in a very strict religious family and they tried numerous times to teach me that women should be submissive.

< Message edited by PranksterBitch -- 9/8/2004 12:49:50 PM >

(in reply to merrymasochist)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: What Brought You into Bdsm - 9/9/2004 8:16:38 PM   
Suleiman


Posts: 1127
Joined: 9/9/2004
Status: offline 		Born into it. I was having bondage fantasies before I had a sex drive. Later I found out that my Mom was into the scene and was a closet sub for a good long while. Recently I discovered that my teenage niece has started showing an interest. I think it's just a genetic predisposition in my family bloodline.

(in reply to afmvdp)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: What Brought You into Bdsm - 9/9/2004 9:09:35 PM   
strongnsubmissiv


Posts: 197
Joined: 9/8/2004
Status: offline 		Born with it...

I draw many parallels with homosexuality when it comes to my submission. It was never a choice, never a pre-dispositon, nor a learned activity. I also don't fit into those cookie cutter explanations of having a domineering Mother, or being abused as a child etc etc etc...

For those of you who seem convinced nobody can be born with it, i'd ask you to open your mind a little. Just because it's not how this lifestyle became part of your lives, doesn't mean it's not possible for others.

sns

_____________________________

*** Strong and submissive are not contradictions ***

(in reply to Suleiman)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: What Brought You into Bdsm - 9/10/2004 7:24:59 AM   
WayHome


Posts: 237
Joined: 8/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: strongnsubmissiv

Born with it...

I draw many parallels with homosexuality when it comes to my submission. It was never a choice, never a pre-dispositon, nor a learned activity. I also don't fit into those cookie cutter explanations of having a domineering Mother, or being abused as a child etc etc etc...

For those of you who seem convinced nobody can be born with it, i'd ask you to open your mind a little. Just because it's not how this lifestyle became part of your lives, doesn't mean it's not possible for others.

sns


Great post.
There are a lot of parallels with homosexuality. I think there are both kinds of subs and of gays. I have a cousin who we literally knew was a lesbian before she started first grade. She didn't know, but her adult family did. She was the middle if three daughters and neither of the others ever showed any hint of such tendencies. Nothing special about her upbringing, but there she is.

On the other hand, it can certainly be learned. Another thread recently discused ancient Greece. The Spartan boy children lived in barracks from before puberty until well after it and universally practiced homosexuality. Some would argue they weren't "really" gay since it was just a matter of exposure and opportunity (like prison), but their adolescent experiences all involved the same sex and thus most of them grew up conditioned to be sexually aroused by men. Those that were were just as gay as my cousin. I suspect about 2 in 20 Spartans grew up totally straight in spite of their environment and had the same angst my cousin did.

So can you be "born" submissive or dominant? Sure. Can you "become" submissive or dominant? Of course.


Leto

(in reply to strongnsubmissiv)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: What Brought You into Bdsm - 9/10/2004 9:32:34 AM   
MrThorns


Posts: 919
Joined: 6/4/2004
Status: offline 		(Grumblessomethingaboutthesedamnedpolls...)

Won't vote on these polls, but I'll still answer the question...

I believe that I was in some ways genetically wired for BDSM as I had a lot of dominant characteristics that came out as I was growing up. I remember having dreams about women in cat suits and became interested in these odd feelings by the age of 7. (I didn't know anything about sex or sexuality, but there was a strange undercurrent of sexuality that I explored by tearing the clothes off of my sister's Barbies)

I lived in a very strict household, (My Father is an extremely dominant man...go figure) and I was indirectly taught to repress any feelings of sexuality or dominance. I was not allowed any power in his household. I withdrew into myself and learned to not rock the boat as a survival mechanism. I did end up breaking the rules of the house quite often, which would explain why I didn't get out much between 1984 and 1991.

I read a lot of porn as a kid and was always interested in the Penthouse Forum stories about bondage. (Ok...I didn't get out much...maybe it wasnt because I was grounded...maybeit was more because I locked myself in the bathroom 7 or 8 times a day...who knows?) I continued to have dreams about these exotic, dangerous looking women in leather and latex.

Once I was out of the house I really began to explore my sexuality. In college, my girlfriend found herself tied to the headboard more often than not and I began to explore a lot of sensual play. Some of it, now that I think about it, was somewhat sadistic...I just didnt really know it at the time.

Some years later, while I was in the Army overseas, I found the BDSM chatrooms. I started to really identify with the power exchange that I was seeing in an online environment, but was confused about my own identity. I initially identified myself with being submissive due to the fact that I did follow orders very well, (Thanks to Dad and the the US Army) and I did enjoy pleasing others. I soon realized that I was not on the right side of the power exchange after getting involved with a Femdom online.

I took a little time off, read a few books and realized that there was definately a dominant side to me. I started to explore this online and eventually met my current slave about a year after my discovery that I was dominant.

We were together online for over a year and met on quite a few occassions. She helped me to find my dominant personality and I soon realized my sadistic nature as well. She now lives with me and we have been together for four years.

It's been a long, bumpy road...but well worth the journey.

~Thorns

_____________________________

~"Do you know what the chain of command is? Its the chain I beat ya with when ya don't follow my command."

"My inner child is a mean little fucker"

(in reply to WayHome)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: What Brought You into Bdsm - 9/10/2004 4:28:13 PM   
sting516


Posts: 505
Joined: 9/4/2004
From: long island, ny
Status: offline 		my first introduction to it was when reading Letters to Penthouse while in high school...generally it was all fuck and suck letters, but then i came across one from a femsub...looking back, it was pretty tame, clothespins on various body parts and what not...but i do remember rereading that letter more than a few times.

my first exposure to it was on 42nd street in NYC....there was, and still is a place called Show World which used to have an S+M show...i didn't know it at the time, but there was audience participation...at the end of the show, the Domme looked at me and asked me if i wanted to come up on stage...being young, dumb and full of cum, i did...she spanked me in front of about 5 to 10 people in the audience...i stayed for three more shows, and she picked me to spank each time!!

Ah, memories.

sting

(in reply to MrThorns)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: What Brought You into Bdsm - 9/10/2004 6:44:21 PM   
lilgirl4u


Posts: 2
Joined: 9/10/2004
Status: offline 		Don't know if this one was born into it, but as a child father was always the Dominant one, strict and firm...we were to call him Sir and mother Maam, respect the elders, do as You are told, do what they tell You to do and not what you want to do. A few years ago this one met someone online that made conversation of the lifestlye and from our conversations of more then 2 years, this one realized she was a slave.

(in reply to sting516)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: What Brought You into Bdsm - 9/10/2004 10:47:56 PM   
Sundew02


Posts: 457
Joined: 2/6/2004
Status: offline 		My personality brought me into Bdsm, smile. I was teasing and enjoying tormenting males way before I new it had a name. Sundew

_____________________________


~~~~~Enjoy the ride, the landing could get painful~~~~

(in reply to knees2you)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: What Brought You into Bdsm - 9/11/2004 9:21:20 AM   
Laura


Posts: 573
Joined: 6/22/2004
From: Ontario, Canada
Status: offline 		I voted for Reading. But I'd really say Other. I wasn't Born into it. None of my family have been into BDSM and as a kid it was very taboo. Kids told each other what it was but we all knew it was something seriously perverted and dangerous.

Later I read a John Norman book my Dad had left out. He was into science fiction. I didn't think of that as BDSM though. I just knew I liked the control and force aspects. I found more Norman books and skimmed to the good parts.

It's always been something in me. But I kept it to myself. I still do but for a few outlets online and other secrets. I wonder how many people have talked to parents, brothers and sisters about their fetishes. I've told them about being a Witch but not about being into BDSM. I had enough flack when they found out I wrote erotica. I just let them think I don't still do it.

_____________________________

Bait & Switch - Adult column

(in reply to afmvdp)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: What Brought You into Bdsm - 9/11/2004 11:48:05 AM   
PrincessAnne


Posts: 5
Joined: 9/7/2004
Status: offline 		I would have to say predisposition that was fostered by later events in life. I remember tying up my best friend at about 8 and then leaving her there until she cried and begged for me to let her go.

(in reply to Laura)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: What Brought You into Bdsm - 9/11/2004 9:06:49 PM   
Sinergy


Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline 		I have been told by a number of people that I am a natural Dominant.

Not sure I understand what they mean, really...

Isnt everybody (I am including a multi-billion dollar Aerospace project relying on my
expertise) supposed to do what I think they should do?

Actually, the thing that surprises me is that so many people want to do what I think
should happen because most of the time I really could care less.

A rather confused about everything...

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle


(in reply to PrincessAnne)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: What Brought You into Bdsm - 9/11/2004 9:26:50 PM   
Valenia2003


Posts: 6
Joined: 3/21/2004
Status: offline 		I first found it on Real Sex on HBO late one night. Then I wandered into a BDSM chatroom about 6 years ago or so and I have been hooked ever since. Now I have a dominant and we were even married a couple of years ago. Hard to believe that it has been that long already.

_____________________________

I may not be perfect but I am Canadian and that is close enough!

(in reply to afmvdp)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: What Brought You into Bdsm - 9/13/2004 9:25:50 AM   
blackirondragon


Posts: 6
Joined: 8/24/2004
Status: offline 		Born to it, other people's opinions nonwithstanding.

I grew up in a totally isolated country farm, twenty miles from the nearest town, in a strict religious environment.

Nonetheless, I was fantasizing (and tormenting my sister, I'm sorry to say) by the age of five, cutting and burning myself before I was ten. Couldn't change it anymore than I could change being left-handed, I just am.

The giving and receiving of pain excited me before I even discovered sex. It's always been one of those secrets you just enjoy when you're alone and don't tell anyone.

I didn't find out that there were other people like me until recently (still processing that).

(in reply to WayHome)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: What Brought You into Bdsm - 9/18/2004 5:49:31 AM   
DelightfulDreams


Posts: 9
Joined: 9/14/2004
Status: offline 		I was 13 in Palm Springs. My parents were buying TimeShare and the hotel that we were booked, was playing host to a Spanking Convention. So four three night straight it was " whack, whack, whack, whack " and not just a couple of times, or even one room... the WHOLE HALL WAY was filled... no matter what time of day... night... afternoon that was what I heard. I was attracted, curious... and most of all... just plain stubborn. So I found a few business cards... websites... and boom... my lifestyle changed. Though do keep in mind I was brought up as a good proper Mexican Catholic girl... so I was shaped to become a subdued submissive home wife... until this fateful weekend.. where I flipped the bitch around and gave the boys hell -chuckles-

_____________________________

Get-r-Dun

(in reply to knees2you)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: What Brought You into Bdsm - 1/12/2005 11:35:32 AM   
DutchessKate


Posts: 4
Joined: 10/29/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: strongnsubmissiv

Born with it...

I draw many parallels with homosexuality when it comes to my submission. It was never a choice, never a pre-dispositon, nor a learned activity. I also don't fit into those cookie cutter explanations of having a domineering Mother, or being abused as a child etc etc etc...

For those of you who seem convinced nobody can be born with it, i'd ask you to open your mind a little. Just because it's not how this lifestyle became part of your lives, doesn't mean it's not possible for others.

sns





What strongnsubmissive said!! (so well)


Kate
puppy girl
who's never had a vanilla orgasm in her life



(in reply to DelightfulDreams)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: What Brought You into Bdsm - 1/12/2005 12:25:07 PM   
Hawkins


Posts: 31
Joined: 10/14/2004
From: I'm English but I live in the Netherlands
Status: offline 		Well, looking back...

There was this Disney featurette, or something similar. Kids in tricky situations getting out through pluck and determination. In one episode, the kids were tied-up by the bad guys. It had for me, what I now know to have been a sexual charge.

I have this memory of being at home, alone, maybe eight or something, nine... and I had been playing (by myself) bondage games based on this, naked.

Mucking around with my nephews (I was about 14) outside a big marquee tent; they ran round me with a bit of rope and tied me to one of the big staked ropes holding the marqueee up. Instant hard-on.

Oh, and at about 7 I discovered my brother's (didn't want anything to do with the cult) porn stash.

But I was in a cult; Jehovah's Bloody Witnesses. Sexuality was 'the insertion of the penis into the birth-canal' in that environment. All forms of extra-marital sexual contact were bad, homosexuality was a real no-no, and... well, these pedents are so dull I don't think they've "discovered" BDSM involving bondage and pain-play; if they did it would be bad. However, women are basically trained to be subservient to their father or husband.

Got married in it. Got out and unmarried. Did sex, drugs and rock'n'roll, but I think the kinkest I got was being blown whilst talking to my parents on the phone. Oh, and getting tied-up once.

Funny how, it was either seeing 'bondage' or being bound that was sexy in the past. I still find it visually arrousing but I'm doing the ropes and like it that way...

Now, although I never thought of myself as a dominant personality in the past, I realise I always was dominant. At Uni', it was always me that oganised every bloody thing, from who got the milk to what club we hit on Friday night, for a group of five-ten people. I was sexually backwards when I got out of the cult but I played catch-up and enjoyed it immensely. I was becoming increasingly assertive and confident sexually. One of my flat mates, well I didn't know why, but she made me (and whoever was in my room) coffee all the time, ironed my clothes. And, er, other things. I wasn't even going out with her as I was busy develping 'taste' in women *slaps head* rather than gratitude to any female and in one or more relationships of some description or other.

Once, I jokingly threatend to spank her. She played-up to it... laid over my lap... I was rather confused (poor child) and made appropriate DUMB liberal PC 'I'd never hit a women' comment. Gave the poor girl terrible cramps, threatening that and not doing anything... but I didn't find that out until much later... if hitting is 'physical assualt' in the context of a fist-in-the-face, I still haven't hit a woman.

But I do love beating my Duchess...

_____________________________

People living in glass paradigms shouldn't throw stones...

(in reply to DutchessKate)
Profile   Post #: 40
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