Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

Letting your kink include others nonconsensually


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> Letting your kink include others nonconsensually Page: [1] 2 3   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Letting your kink include others nonconsensually - 10/22/2009 3:31:09 PM   
Drifa


Posts: 547
Joined: 7/27/2007
From: Rural Texas
Status: offline
So, I had to have emergency surgery. That all worked OK and I'm much better. However, my doctor weirded me out totally, and I am kinky myself and pretty laid back about kink.

He started up wanting to give me Dulcolax suppositories. I asked why? I was passing gas and having normal movements, why did I need the suppository. He got all red and stammered something about stimulating the bowel. I told him "Doctor, you are surely aware that Dulcolax comes in an oral form. I'll take it orally if you insist I need it." He could not manage to give me an explanation of his medical reasoning. Next, he wrote instructions that each of the nurses was supposed to try and talk me into taking his suppositories.

Incredulous after the first nurse told me that she didn't think I needed the suppository, but that her written instructions require that she try to talk me into taking it anyway, I asked the doctor the next day what was up with the suppository instruction? I informed him that INSTEAD of trying to get the nurses to coerce me into it, perhaps instead HE could explain his medical reasoning as to why I needed this. And furthermore, I asked him to explain why it had to be the suppository version of this drug when a perfectly good version of the same stuff is available and works the same way.

Dulcolax is the exact same stuff as Fleet's, Correctol, and Carter's Little Pills. The pill form take overnight to work, the enema or suppository version works in 15-30 minutes.

As I expected, however, this man, who is a gynecological oncologist and therefore has had at least 8 years of medical education in there along the way, could not explain or even come close to explaining WHY he wanted me to not only take a laxative when stuff was moving just fine through the system, and why it had to be a SUPPOSITORY.  He did blush and stammer and stop making good eye contact. And sure enough, the next nurse that came by had further instructions to try to talk me into taking the suppositories.

This was weird enough that I mentioned it to the internal medicine specialist. He told me, conspiratorially, that this was one of Dr. T's "weird quirks", and that I was right to refuse it if I wanted to refuse it. Several of the nurses, when I refused it, said something along the lines of the doctor having a "suppository fetish".  I did continue refusing to take the suppositories, with the agreement and support of my Lady, who is the only person whose instructions I follow.

This morning, as I was being discharged Doctor Suppository launched off into telling me how wonderful it was that I could go home, where I could now have all the prune juice and enemas that I wanted. And wouldn't that be special? This was the first time I'd ever seen a True Believer sermonizing on a topic that they BELEEEVED!!! in like this. I thought he was going to come in his pants.

I think what creeped me out so bad was the fact that this was kind of coercive. Many middle aged women would NEVER consider refusing a treatment, or even in asking a medical professional to explain a treatment. My mom was a doctor, my sister went to medical school, and I knew darned well that this wasn't kosher from when he started with it. Then continuing with a medically unjustified request for me to get these suppositories via the nurses, after I had made it incredibly clear that not just no, but HELL NO, I was not having any suppositories.

I'm all for this guy having a suppository kink and practicing it with CONSENTING, fully-informed adults. NOT with patients in the hospital for an emergency ovariohysterectomy due to torsion and gangrene of one ovary. NOT with a patient who has had enough synthetic heroin to befuddle a small elephant. And NOT after being told, repeatedly NO.

I am so mad.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Letting your kink include others nonconsensually - 10/22/2009 3:38:34 PM   
Toppingfrmbottom


Posts: 6528
Joined: 6/7/2009
Status: offline
report him to the medical board?

(in reply to Drifa)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Letting your kink include others nonconsensually - 10/22/2009 3:38:36 PM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline
Was part of your care to have a bowel movement before you could be released from the hospital? Did you need to be cleaned out quickly before a surgery? If no to these then I would say, yea. You should be proud of yourself for standing up for yourself and yes..creepy.

_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to Drifa)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Letting your kink include others nonconsensually - 10/22/2009 3:39:06 PM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline
Wow, that is a creepy story.  I'm glad you stuck to your guns, and it sounds like the other doctors and nurses are "onto" him, too. 

Reminds me of the story of when I got hired in at a hospital at my first job out of school.  Employee physical, ok.....ironically my mom's doctor whom I had known all my life, but ok.....I had to put on a gown and he did a breast exam.....wow, rather thorough for a new employee exam, but okay.  Didn't think more about it.

Several years later, a group of us were sitting around talking about our employee physicals, and amazingly, some of us--the younger and nicely endowed-- had gotten breast exams, and the "others" had not.  Ick.

Hope you're feeling better soon!

< Message edited by windchymes -- 10/22/2009 3:40:09 PM >


_____________________________

You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

(in reply to Drifa)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Letting your kink include others nonconsensually - 10/22/2009 3:39:34 PM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline
One, no idea what type of surgery you had.  Two, were you continuing to take narcotics for pain relief?

Of course you can always refuse to take the suppository.  Oral form sometimes does not work as well.  And he may have a fetish about such things.

But he is working within the standard of care for post surgical instructions.

IF you feel that violated, then seek an attorney.  But, when you do, realize those nurses may also be pushed to seek one as well.

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to Drifa)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Letting your kink include others nonconsensually - 10/22/2009 3:46:28 PM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl

One, no idea what type of surgery you had. Two, were you continuing to take narcotics for pain relief?

Of course you can always refuse to take the suppository. Oral form sometimes does not work as well. And he may have a fetish about such things.

But he is working within the standard of care for post surgical instructions.

IF you feel that violated, then seek an attorney. But, when you do, realize those nurses may also be pushed to seek one as well.


Good point. A person can get so constipated from the anesthesia and pain killers that suppositories can be standard care. When one leaves the hospital you have to urinate. It often takes days to move bowels. A family friend recently had gall bladder surgery, went home early and then had to be readmitted because the fecal matter was stuck in his intestines. They gave him suppositories and enemas. Im not sure what else after that. But oral pills often do not do the trick. I do believe a suppository is standard in these cases. If you had a rectal precedure, even more so.

_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to tazzygirl)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Letting your kink include others nonconsensually - 10/22/2009 3:54:09 PM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline
Of course, I wasn't there. But from the story told, I'd say there is WAY more many questions than answers. I'd want to hear an actual medical opinion from a different doctor that was in posession of all the facts before I could figure out what's what.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to Drifa)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Letting your kink include others nonconsensually - 10/22/2009 4:37:43 PM   
MasterSlaveLA


Posts: 3991
Status: offline
Take a dump on his desk... I bet he'll tear up your bill?!!



_____________________________

It's only kinky the first time!!!

(in reply to leadership527)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Letting your kink include others nonconsensually - 10/22/2009 4:38:45 PM   
Drifa


Posts: 547
Joined: 7/27/2007
From: Rural Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl

One, no idea what type of surgery you had.  Two, were you continuing to take narcotics for pain relief?

Of course you can always refuse to take the suppository.  Oral form sometimes does not work as well.  And he may have a fetish about such things.

But he is working within the standard of care for post surgical instructions.

IF you feel that violated, then seek an attorney.  But, when you do, realize those nurses may also be pushed to seek one as well.


Yes, I am on pain meds -- dilaudid after a complete hysterectomy, necessitated by ovarian torsion and loss of blood flow to the ovary.

But I was ALSO passing gas and having normal BMs. I didn't need ANY laxative, much less one that was going to have a high chance to cause cramping. I might not have thought anything weird about it if he hadn't done the whole blushing routine and quit being able to meet my eyes when talking to me.

On the overall scale of things, this wasn't even close to rape. But I don't think it was recommending the best medical treatment based on this man's medical judgment. I really feel like he was using this as some component for a sexual fantasy scenario in his head.  Even then, I might not have creeped out over it except that (1) he pushed hard on it, including having the nurses push on me after I had clearly stated that I was refusing the treatment, and (2) the other physician and the nursing staff seemed to also feel the treatment (i.e., the use of suppositories) was outside of the normal standard of care for a patient who was having clear bowl sounds and normal bowel activity..

I don't want to sue the bloke. But I also don't want him getting his sexual jollies from people in a reduced capacity to consent. The AMA ethics standard is pretty uncompromising that you should not be the care provider from someone you are participating in a sexual relationship with, regardless of consent or lack thereof.  I think I am going to contact the Texas Medical Association and the ethics board of the hospital and document what happened, so if there are other complaints there will be my information on file also.  And, just maybe, he'll leave his kinks at home the next time.

I kind of feel violated, I guess. My Lady doesn't think I was out of line - she says he creeped her out some, she's just not sure what about him bothered her.

(in reply to tazzygirl)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Letting your kink include others nonconsensually - 10/22/2009 5:10:29 PM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline
After surgery you may have normal bowel activity, but many people are in pain and do not push hard, leading to problems. Also, the suppositories don't cramp like the oral versions do, but that may just be my experience.
He does sound a bit creepy, but that may be more due to his manner. Some guys blush at anything that is out of the norm.

(in reply to Drifa)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Letting your kink include others nonconsensually - 10/22/2009 5:50:38 PM   
DavanKael


Posts: 3072
Joined: 10/6/2007
Status: offline
Hope your recovery goes smoothly. 
That is super-creepy.  I would report the guy.
Davan

_____________________________

May you live as long as you wish & love as long as you live
-Robert A Heinlein

It's about the person & the bond,not the bondage
-Me

Waiting is

170NZ (Aka:Sex God Du Jour) pts

Jesus,I've ALWAYS been a deviant
-Leadership527,Jeff

(in reply to Missokyst)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Letting your kink include others nonconsensually - 10/22/2009 6:27:22 PM   
lizi


Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline
Wow. I'm creeped out reading your story because I'd have probably listened to the guy if he told me I needed to do something. He's the doctor after all.

I'm of the opinion that if you thought there was something weird then there probably was. The main thing that makes me think he was up to no good was when he couldn't coherently explain to you the first time why you needed to have the suppository. If it was for your benefit then he should have been able to tell you why. Then afterwards when he went overboard about saying how wonderful it would be to home and be able to oversee your bowel care. THEN having the other professionals say you didn't need the suppository and also spill the beans about this doctors special interest in them.

Please consider reporting him. He's gotten away with doing this to countless other people and it's a violation of their privacy and rights. Getting off on an unsuspecting party is wrong.

Edited to add something else.
The phrase "First do no harm" is a cornerstone in the medical community from the 1800's. Who is to say having unnecessary medication will lead to no harm? What if someone suffers some untoward consequence from Dr. Bowel Movements interest in laxatives? What if he hurts someone in order to get off? Having a laxative seems like a fairly safe thing to do but you can't guarantee anything as being 100% free of negative consequences.

< Message edited by lizi -- 10/22/2009 6:34:17 PM >

(in reply to Drifa)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Letting your kink include others nonconsensually - 10/22/2009 8:00:46 PM   
Aileen1968


Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterSlaveLA

Take a dump on his desk... I bet he'll tear up your bill?!!




This gets my vote....

_____________________________



(in reply to MasterSlaveLA)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Letting your kink include others nonconsensually - 10/23/2009 4:13:03 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline
It is standard to use the suppositories instead of the pill form because they work more effectively and quicker so that you'll have a bowel movement prior to being released from the hospital. However if you had already had a bowel movement, then he should have just congratulated you and rescinded the order.

However I wouldn't say it was a sexual fetish because he may just be overly focused on the importance of people having bowel movements after surgery.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to Aileen1968)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Letting your kink include others nonconsensually - 10/23/2009 6:29:29 AM   
osf


Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline
its really hard on male perverts today

(in reply to Drifa)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Letting your kink include others nonconsensually - 10/24/2009 5:39:47 PM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline
So there was abdominal surgery, which displaces the intestines for a time.  Secondary to this, you are on a heavy narcotic for the pain.

I do hope you recover swiftly with no complications. 

Now, back to the Dr in question.  The surgery itself has a standard of care for suppositories because your intestines can slow down after manipulation (which can occur after uterine removal) as well as the displacement of the intestinal contents into the now void area (please, forgive me for saying that so bluntly).

Added onto that is the narcotic, which can slow down the intestines as well.  Honey, you got a double whamy, which is why he was so "pushy".  What you were passing could have been lower intestinal, it would not prove that upper intestinal had not been affected.  And, yes, even with some slowing down of the GI tract, i would expect bowel sounds to be normal.

I can understand him being pushy.  What i cannot understand is the nurses who took care of you not explaining it better.  Saying he had a suppository fetish is bad enough.  Bad enough to get them into a whole lot of hot water.

Anyways, i hope that helps explain a few things, and i truly hope you are healing well and recovering quickly!

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to Drifa)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Letting your kink include others nonconsensually - 10/24/2009 5:43:54 PM   
devilishpixie


Posts: 1044
Joined: 10/15/2009
Status: offline
Having had several surgeries in the past, this sounds like standard after care after many procedures. If you are truly uncomfy with it talk to another doctor for a 2nd opinion if they agree it was out of line file a formal complaint.

(in reply to tazzygirl)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Letting your kink include others nonconsensually - 10/24/2009 5:45:44 PM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline
quote:

Please consider reporting him. He's gotten away with doing this to countless other people and it's a violation of their privacy and rights. Getting off on an unsuspecting party is wrong.

Edited to add something else.
The phrase "First do no harm" is a cornerstone in the medical community from the 1800's. Who is to say having unnecessary medication will lead to no harm? What if someone suffers some untoward consequence from Dr. Bowel Movements interest in laxatives? What if he hurts someone in order to get off? Having a laxative seems like a fairly safe thing to do but you can't guarantee anything as being 100% free of negative consequences.


Dr Bowel Movements?  Ever considered that a bad reaction from such a surgery is NO bowel movements?  Of course he would be fixated on that, just like an orthopedic surgeon would be fixated on respirations and blood pressure to check for signs of an embolism. 

He is following the standards of care.  I would be more concerned if he had told her... "Oh, ok, no problem, you dont have too then."  Which of course he wouldnt, and didnt, because then his license would be on the line.

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to lizi)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Letting your kink include others nonconsensually - 10/25/2009 4:52:43 AM   
Zechriel


Posts: 308
Joined: 11/19/2007
Status: offline
Good morning!
I used to work Security for a big Hospital in CA. That's where I meet my hubby. There are tons of people to report him to while still in the hospital. Ask who the charge nurse is-then talk to her. she's in charge of all the nurses in the hospital and carries an enormous amount of power. She can then take care of it or refer you to the doctor's side of the power. Also, a patient advocate can be called immediately, they are on 24/7. Also a chaplain-yes a chaplain!! can steer you to who to talk to and report him-if you want to.
Your  doctor in the hospital is not the ultimate power authority there. YOU are the patient, YOU are in charge of your body and like I always tell Daddy, you CAN refuse medical treatment and withhold information until you speak to someone. And if that means folding your arms and not speaking until someone in authority shows up, then be it.
Also, might want to mention this to your regular doctor, even if he is not affiliated with that hospital. He could use his pull to find out what is really going on there, more than you can. Good luck!!!
Love,
Zechriel


_____________________________

Sir HighlanderME's little z

(in reply to Drifa)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Letting your kink include others nonconsensually - 10/25/2009 4:57:02 AM   
Elipsis


Posts: 301
Joined: 7/8/2009
Status: offline
That is quite the abuse of trust.

I'm sure if you pushed the issue hard enough you could generate some consequences for this doctor.

(in reply to Zechriel)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2 3   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> Letting your kink include others nonconsensually Page: [1] 2 3   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.094