ChainedExistence
Posts: 507
Joined: 2/5/2005 Status: offline
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I grew up in a strict Southern Baptist household-church every Sunday morning, Sunday night, Wednesday night, plus GA's, vacation bible school, etc. When I was young, I never questioned my faith..it always WAS. As I grew older things began to take place that made me question a lot of what I'd been taught: *All drinking was bad...I knew tons of people who enjoyed some wine with dinner and weren't going out drunk driving, and destroying their lives, plus it never made sense to me that Jesus was drinking in the Bible but we didn't) *Dancing leads to sin .. I always wondered how my mom justified the ballet lessons *Being homosexual is a sin -so why was it that a family member who seemed "gay" his entire life, was suddenly the Devil incarnate? (He's really a great guy-loving, generous, kind to old people and animals, and yes, spiritual) *Divorce is wrong-so you are supposed to practically commit suicide (whoops , also wrong) because you'd rather die than stay married? So many things in the Religion went against what I believed in my heart. Then I had a tragic event happen in my life and the only comfort anyone could offer was " God must have a purpose for it to be that way"...I don't think so...sometimes bad things just happen...because they happen, not because someone on high, says...:"Hey, why don't I devastate her so something good might happen later?"...makes no sense to me at all.... The truth is..there are some things I still love about religion- the music, the beautful churches, the quiet contemplation of prayer, the kindness of church members who've known you your whole life, the rituals of marriage and baptism, the sense of hope that exists even at a funeral, holidays...but I guess I am torn between accepting it all without question, and accepting the parts that I can believe in. If I had to say where I was in that battle right now, I'd have to say I am more about spirituality with an occasional dose of religion thrown in to make my parents happy. As for what drives others, I'm not so sure. My home church is bigger than ever, so maybe people are searching for something bigger than themselves to believe in, or maybe they are there simply for the companionship. All I know is I try to be a good person- and think about the needs of others. If the religion gave me that , then it's not all bad.
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