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Collar - 3/7/2006 5:24:25 PM   
angelic


Posts: 1807
Joined: 1/24/2005
Status: offline 		This question arises from another thread and rather than ask it there i thought i would start a new thread. What is proper, the submissive/slave begging for a collar, or the Master/Dom/Mistress/Domme offering? Thank Yyou.

_____________________________

~....and once you have tasted flight, you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been and there you long to return.~ -- Leonardo de Vinci

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RE: Collar - 3/7/2006 5:40:30 PM   
yourMissTress


Posts: 1665
Joined: 6/14/2005
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		angelic,

Fortunately Emily Post didn't write a book about what's proper in BDSM. If she did then most of the flavor of personal expression and preference would be lost from this lifestyle. It's up to the participants of the relationship to determine what is proper for them.

Personally, I enjoy both sides of that scenario and have had subs beg for collars, and have offered them without prior discussion.

Good question.

_____________________________

Tress


"If you have to tell people that you are a lady, you are not." My Grandmother


(in reply to angelic)
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RE: Collar - 3/7/2006 5:45:10 PM   
shiava


Posts: 23
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline 		Hi angelic,

i have also seen it done both ways. i begged for my prior Masters collar but He felt neither of us were ready at the time of my beg. 3 months later He offered it.

Maybe it is all in the timing.

shi

(in reply to angelic)
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RE: Collar - 3/7/2006 5:53:22 PM   
Arpig


Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline 		It really depends on the master....what he thinks is all that really matters in that particular situation.
My Pet, however is of the opinion that it should be offered, and not begged for...because she feels it is just "not right" to beg for a collar, that is something he gives, as a sign of approval and confirmation of his satisfaction with the sub, so while the sub may wish to be collared, he/she should wait till the dom decides he/she wishes to collar the sub.
Of course, if the dom makes it clear that he/she wants the sub to beg...then get on your knees....

_____________________________

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Ha Ha...Charade you are!

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RE: Collar - 3/7/2006 6:00:16 PM   
angelic


Posts: 1807
Joined: 1/24/2005
Status: offline 		thank Yyou Aall for Yyour responses. i have never been collared, so was/am as with many things, naive.

Personally, Arpig, Sir... i was under the same thinking as Yours, but since then i have also spoken with other slaves/submissive who begged their collar.

_____________________________

~....and once you have tasted flight, you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been and there you long to return.~ -- Leonardo de Vinci


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RE: Collar - 3/7/2006 6:03:12 PM   
MrDiscipline44


Posts: 1776
Joined: 1/5/2005
Status: offline 		I'm of the personal opinion that if the submissive/slave wants my collar, she'll beg for it.

_____________________________

If you love somebody, you have to be willing to break them.

Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach.

Have you slapped your slave today?

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RE: Collar - 3/7/2006 6:23:23 PM   
SimplyV


Posts: 351
Joined: 11/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MrDiscipline44

I'm of the personal opinion that if the submissive/slave wants my collar, she'll beg for it.


I "begged" or asked for any collar I wore.. my sub asked/begged for his collar.

I don't think there is any "right" way to do it.. its just what works for the two (or more) involved.

V

(in reply to MrDiscipline44)
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RE: Collar - 3/7/2006 6:26:51 PM   
Wildfleurs


Posts: 1650
Joined: 9/24/2004
From: Connecticut
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: angelic

This question arises from another thread and rather than ask it there i thought i would start a new thread. What is proper, the submissive/slave begging for a collar, or the Master/Dom/Mistress/Domme offering? Thank Yyou.



I'm not collared, but I begged for my brand.

C~

_____________________________

"Just because you've always done it that way doesn't mean it's not incredibly stupid." -despair.com

~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The heart of it all - http://www.wildfleurs.com
~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

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RE: Collar - 3/7/2006 6:27:54 PM   
truesub4u


Posts: 2949
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline 		Smiles.....

Begging for a collar.... nope.. can't say that I have.

Have had a few offer me one........ repectfully declined

Might even except one in July..that's been offered.... but won't beg for it.

I believe.. and this is my own opinion...... there's things to beg for in life... being owned.. is not one of them. Being owned... collared.. is too mutual. No one should feel pressured into begging, or giving... but then like Shiava said.. it's probably all in the timing..

and to each their own.




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Wisdom is knowing what to do next, Skill is knowing how to do it, and Virtue is doing it.

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RE: Collar - 3/7/2006 6:33:21 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		Angelic, my Master made it clear to me he does not collar a girl before 6 months time. A few months into my ownership we had spoken of collars, and what they meant, and he had asked if i had been thinking about it. i knew He knew i was not ready. 5 months into his ownership of me i begged his collar. i knew my life was becoming so much better with him leading it, and i loved who and what i was turning into. It deeply felt it was (and is) an honor and privilege to serve him, and i wanted to spend my life doing so. i knew he would never offer a collar because he will never give his girl even a bit of control. If he offered his collar, that gave me decision rights within the relationship, which i will never have.

Regardless, i begged his collar (and it was a rather emotional event.) His response was to assign me some journaling on the subject, with specific questions in mind, and when he was satisfied with my replies, he agreed. Two months later he put a collar on my neck, and it has never been removed.

(in reply to angelic)
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RE: Collar - 3/7/2006 6:46:26 PM   
theRose4U


Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline 		I guess it depends on what "flavor" you are. Gorean friend of mine wants his girls to beg his collar just as a get to know you. Basically one or two dates and if they want more they have to beg for it to be considered or trained in an way. I've also heard of Masochist(sp?) couples doing this. Not my thing but hey diff strokes and all that.


For my relationships I give tokens as the relationship evolves. Previous boy got a bracelet to remind him that I'm there before he'd earned a collar.

(in reply to angelic)
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RE: Collar - 3/7/2006 6:51:01 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		i begged him to train me but there was no collar associated with it. i was simply his slave in training.

(in reply to theRose4U)
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RE: Collar - 3/7/2006 6:58:00 PM   
artglfr


Posts: 235
Joined: 4/8/2005
Status: offline 		I have never had a sub beg for a collar but then I am not really into collaring except after prolonged contact .

(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Collar - 3/7/2006 6:59:21 PM   
angelic


Posts: 1807
Joined: 1/24/2005
Status: offline 		ok... well another question popped into my brain. LOL i'm inquisitive by nature, btw.

Maybe this is yet for another thread because it is more toward the Masters/Doms/Mistresses/Dommes that require begging; however, without sounding rude and i truly don't mean to... why? i.e. If You choose to collar one, but demand/require him/her to beg for it, doesn't that in some small way give him/her control? As an explanation for where my brain is... if You (generic You) make the decision (it is Your's to make) to collar me (generic me LOL).. why would You not just do it? The control is Your's, not mine.

dayum i hope i'm making some sense here...

_____________________________

~....and once you have tasted flight, you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been and there you long to return.~ -- Leonardo de Vinci


(in reply to ownedgirlie)
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RE: Collar - 3/7/2006 7:02:49 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		Well i am certainly not a Dominant, but....for example, my Master does not want a girl who does not truly and totally want to be there. So he is not going to snap a collar on a girl's neck without knowing she is committed to what it means. So he would rather see her internal ache and craving for it, and be convinced that she understands what it means to wear it.

(in reply to angelic)
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RE: Collar - 3/7/2006 7:07:18 PM   
Wildfleurs


Posts: 1650
Joined: 9/24/2004
From: Connecticut
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: angelic

ok... well another question popped into my brain. LOL i'm inquisitive by nature, btw.

Maybe this is yet for another thread because it is more toward the Masters/Doms/Mistresses/Dommes that require begging; however, without sounding rude and i truly don't mean to... why? i.e. If You choose to collar one, but demand/require him/her to beg for it, doesn't that in some small way give him/her control? As an explanation for where my brain is... if You (generic You) make the decision (it is Your's to make) to collar me (generic me LOL).. why would You not just do it? The control is Your's, not mine.

dayum i hope i'm making some sense here...


Begging does not mean you are forced to comply. Begging just shows the depth and breadth of someones desire for whatever they are begging for.

I've certainly begged for something and not necessarily gotten it.

C~

_____________________________

"Just because you've always done it that way doesn't mean it's not incredibly stupid." -despair.com

~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The heart of it all - http://www.wildfleurs.com
~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

(in reply to angelic)
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RE: Collar - 3/7/2006 8:53:33 PM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: angelic

This question arises from another thread and rather than ask it there i thought i would start a new thread. What is proper, the submissive/slave begging for a collar, or the Master/Dom/Mistress/Domme offering? Thank Yyou.


G'day angelic and hey lassy, congrats on the paddle..,. Swing it well and give em hell...

Nothing is right or wrong hun regarding who makes the first move on a collar. I personally favour a more formal and very Victorian way of doing things but that is because I live such formalities with go-betweens and stuff. (It appeals to the romantic in me). Yet the simple version of a Master striding into where ever and grabbing a sub/slave by the hair and dragging her off to be collared has a huge attraction too. (Best he finds out if she is a black belt or a cop first )

< Message edited by IronBear -- 3/7/2006 8:54:11 PM >

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to angelic)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Collar - 3/7/2006 8:57:39 PM   
Sirandlittle1


Posts: 538
Joined: 12/22/2005
Status: offline 		i never had to beg for mine. Collaring is a mutual agreement and therefor, not something to be begged for. I would not 'beg' him to marry me, i see my collar as the same agreement. More so in fact.

Begging is something he finds attractive as a Dom. Perhaps that is why others like to see their subs beg for their collars? I dunno.

But regardless of what is said in response to this post, its irrelevant to the situation you will find yourself in, as that will be decided upon by the two of you exclusively. Which pretty much, goes for everything really. lol Unless of couse you have the misfortune to find a Dom who uses someone elses rule book and not their own

little1

(in reply to Wildfleurs)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Collar - 3/7/2006 9:11:02 PM   
Evanesce


Posts: 2325
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline 		I have been "collared" twice. Neither time did I "beg" for the collar, nor will I ever do so in this lifetime. I don't believe it is a slave's place to ask for something that belongs to Master. When I was collared, it was not "offered" to me, either. He took a collar from His pocket, placed it around my neck and declared me His. Of course, we'd already been living together for six months before He did so.

_____________________________

Denise

Give a slave what he truly needs, and he will do what you want.

"There's never a hero in a battle of ego." - Big & Rich


(in reply to angelic)
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RE: Collar - 3/7/2006 9:33:20 PM   
valeca


Posts: 403
Joined: 1/9/2006
Status: offline 		I've been collared twice. The first one I begged for, and was granted the honour. The second one was offered in a beautifully intimate moment (non-sexual), and accepted gratefully. It all depends on the people involved and their personal preferences.

_____________________________

~valeca, Owned and Operated by Loraith.

(in reply to Evanesce)
Profile   Post #: 20
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