RE: Being new does not give other the right to be snide agree or disagree.

RE: Being new does not give other the right to be snide agree or disagree. (Full Version)

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[Poll]

Being new gives regulars the right to be snide..agree or disagree

agree

37% (18)

Disagree

62% (30)

Total Votes : 48

(last vote on : 5/1/2010 9:46:01 AM)
(Poll will run till: -- )

Message

sunshinemiss -> RE: Being new does not give other the right to be snide agree or disagree. (10/29/2009 6:46:14 AM)
Hello Black Lion, When a new person - or a seasoned one - puts up inflammatory, insenstitive, ignorant posts / threads, they will be called on the carpet by the folks here. It is true that many of us do not suffer fools well. Your posts have time and again been berating and mean spirited. You choose to be that way, fine. It's a shame becuase you are obviously smart and have something of a sense of humor. If you are foolish enough to think that using those tools to forward your agenda of nastiness, childish name calling, and mean spirited attempts at shaming others will be accepted and that we will kiss your ass and thank you for your wisdom, then you are sorely mistaken. I am one of the "clique" I suppose. I have met a number of people here. However, new folks (Kia and NZ come to mind) are welcomed when they have intelligent, interesting, worthwhile and humorous things to say. On many occasions, I've disagreed wholeheartedly with other regular posters. By having a cogent argument or anecdotal information (as opposed to just flagrant taunting), we have learned and grown from each other. While I often am the voice of disension, I am still welcomed with open arms... because of the manner in which I conduct myself. Sure, we act silly and will flame people... when they deserve it. I have been called on the carpet myself a number of times for being down right bitchy with people. I take the criticism, look at it if it is worthy criticism, consider the words (and the person saying the words), and make my own decision. Frankly, if there is a serious problem, the mods will handle it. I have received a gold framed note or two. Most of us have. Finally, just a little reminder for you. One earns respect. You have not earned it. If you want respect, act like a man rather than a petulant little boy. Good luck in your search, sunshine

GreedyTop -> RE: Being new does not give other the right to be snide agree or disagree. (10/29/2009 6:57:41 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RapierFugue quote: ORIGINAL: GreedyTop If someone comes on here.. posts an inane question (that can almost always be answered by doing a search..or god forbid!! a google search).. and gets their wittle feewings hurt, then they need to get a thicker skin. Life aint cheesecake and wine... deal or hide from the fact that not everything is unicorns and rainbows. Personally, I prefer people that understand that life is REAL. While not actually disagreeing with what you've written (as if!), I have observed a rather sheep-like/hive-mind/clique at work in respect of certain individuals on CM. This is hardly surprising, given that most people are fairly sheep-like IRL, therefore there's no particular reason why they should be any different online. That said, posting an inflamatory "question" or "poll" isn't the way to counter such thinking, and the OP clearly has issues in this regard. But hey ho, it's all grist to the mill that is the study of online cliques - the net's full of them. Sometimes I find myself "with" a certain group, sometimes against, but the key factor is to not actually give a fuck in the first place. That way lies madness [:D] There; a balanced reply, in that both sides will doubtless be royally pissed off. Go me [;)] Hey RF!! How've you been? I disagree with the sheep thing... for the most part (here, anyway) the 'cliques' that people rail against are made up of folks that have gotten to know each other (and in many cases, that includes face to face stuff as well as through the boards). So it's not surprising that these groups are made up of people who share many views and such.

DesFIP -> RE: Being new does not give other the right to be snide agree or disagree. (10/29/2009 6:59:28 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MasterAramis quote: Yes, I do, and I find it's because the ops are posting idiotic things, and making wild and un founded statements or something, or have just proven themselves to be complete and udder assholes. LOL! So we lump everyone into the same bucket regardless of the question? Actually I have seen some pretty good questions come out of some new people. A lot of them are truly reflective of their situation. Just my .02 Aramis Bet you haven;t seen any good questions come out of the op of this thread though. Lets see, he showed up and said all us older, fatter type females should disappear. He announced no women should ever have their hair cut and that no men ever like short hair. He kept saying he wanted to have a poll to find things out but never used the poll button so that the statistics would be available. Since the rest of us weren't going to tabulate answers for him he then made up statistics. After about ten people said no to long hair, he announced only two guys didn't like it and all the other answers didnt count. The newbies who ask good questions, who listen to what people say and don't come in looking for someone to validate what they want to do become regulars. The ones who flame anyone who doesn't give them the answer they were looking for do get shot down. Hell, if you want to dump the guy that badly, just do so, don't drag the rest of us into it by feeding us misleading information. Those kinds of people aren;'t ones I would want as a friend in r/l. Why would I want one online either? I don't like that passive aggressive nonsense and I don't like pure aggressive types either who come out with both barrels blazing when nobody ever said anything to them to begin with. And the op is one of the latter types. Go read his post history and see. He tells everyone else what to do and takes no responsibility for himself.

LaTigresse -> RE: Being new does not give other the right to be snide agree or disagree. (10/29/2009 7:01:39 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: blacklion Do you find the same regulars popping up despite your topic choice to offer snide remarks and off topic jabs while patting one another on the rump roast. I am not going to read through all whatever, 5 or 6, pages before posting but........ Here's the deal. If I view someone as a moron, I don't care if they are on their 1st post or their 20,000th post, I am going to call them a moron.........in whatever fashion I can slide past Madame Eleven and company. You see, I am a harsh judge of character, I realize this. Unfortunately, for those I've judged, very very few have proven my judgment to be incorrect. I am not saying I am right, cool, or a wonderful human being for being the way I am. I am simply saying I am, and that I am the one that has to look at myself in the mirror in the morning AND I am the one that has to suffer any negative consequences for being the way I am. So far, I haven't found any. My ability to accuratel, and quickly, determine a person's character has stood me, and those I've worked for, in good stead. I am completely comfortable with who and what I am. See, I find not only the topic of this thread, but also the way the questions were asked rather ridiculous and poorly written. The whole question was a bit of an oxymoron. Especially combined with the yes or no choice. Perhaps I didn't have enough caffeine or perhaps I forgot my vitamins this morning, but I was trying to figure out what you were really asking. Then I remembered the dual donkey photo and ran with my memory of previous posts. I am holding back. I am not expressing my point of view NEARLY as effectively or colourfully as I would in person. You see, in person, I do not suffer morons lightly. Here, I am much MUCH more restrained because these forums are highly moderated. So for ALL thin skinned morons, new members or old, they have a choice regarding my posts. Ignore them, or go crying to Madame Eleven. Trust me, I will know if they've violated her sensibilities.

HotFaerieMama -> RE: Being new does not give other the right to be snide agree or disagree. (10/29/2009 7:24:03 AM)
is it just me or does the OP like to talk just to hear himself ?

purepleasure -> RE: Being new does not give other the right to be snide agree or disagree. (10/29/2009 7:34:57 AM)
So, what is the correct answer to the poll? Agree - yes? Agree - no? Disagree - yes? Disagree - no? I'm confused. Is it over yet? And about the hair poll.... I love long hair on women AND men, providing that it's clean, combed or brushed, and pleasing to the touch. If it's dirty, tangled, and fugly... then dammit... cut it off.

devilishpixie -> RE: Being new does not give other the right to be snide agree or disagree. (10/29/2009 7:37:16 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: purepleasure . Is it over yet? And about the hair poll.... I love long hair on women AND men, providing that it's clean, combed or brushed, and pleasing to the touch. If it's dirty, tangled, and fugly... then dammit... cut it off. Damn you mean I missed one of his threads? lol

Wolf2Bear -> RE: Being new does not give other the right to be snide agree or disagree. (10/29/2009 7:39:48 AM)
That may be a good thing pixie LOLOLOL

RapierFugue -> RE: Being new does not give other the right to be snide agree or disagree. (10/29/2009 7:48:10 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: GreedyTop quote: ORIGINAL: RapierFugue quote: ORIGINAL: GreedyTop If someone comes on here.. posts an inane question (that can almost always be answered by doing a search..or god forbid!! a google search).. and gets their wittle feewings hurt, then they need to get a thicker skin. Life aint cheesecake and wine... deal or hide from the fact that not everything is unicorns and rainbows. Personally, I prefer people that understand that life is REAL. While not actually disagreeing with what you've written (as if!), I have observed a rather sheep-like/hive-mind/clique at work in respect of certain individuals on CM. This is hardly surprising, given that most people are fairly sheep-like IRL, therefore there's no particular reason why they should be any different online. That said, posting an inflamatory "question" or "poll" isn't the way to counter such thinking, and the OP clearly has issues in this regard. But hey ho, it's all grist to the mill that is the study of online cliques - the net's full of them. Sometimes I find myself "with" a certain group, sometimes against, but the key factor is to not actually give a fuck in the first place. That way lies madness [:D] There; a balanced reply, in that both sides will doubtless be royally pissed off. Go me [;)] Hey RF!! How've you been? Reasonably spiffy, thank you for asking [:D] How's you? quote: ORIGINAL: GreedyTop I disagree with the sheep thing... for the most part (here, anyway) the 'cliques' that people rail against are made up of folks that have gotten to know each other (and in many cases, that includes face to face stuff as well as through the boards). So it's not surprising that these groups are made up of people who share many views and such. Maybe so. But the feeding frenzy/backslapping orgy that followed the (admittedly idiotic) OP's post is painful to watch. I actually cringed. A bit [:D] I'm not saying the OP didn't richly deserve the opprobrium, just that I've seen enough occasions (in the case of other newbies) where someone will make some smartarsed, smug or unfunny comment to a newbie, and will then be deluged by a load of confirmatory posts from the rest of the flock. Just my 2d worth, of course, and as I said I don't expect anyone to agree with me. Please note I'm not defending this OP (coz he's clearly nutty as a fruitcake), just pointing out an observation based on watching several other newbie posters and their reception, over time. Though who merely ape the opinions of the majority are welcomed, those who offer contrary opinions, even when politely and reasonably worded, are often/sometimes not. And no, I don't consider I've ever suffered - I'm way too thick-skinned to GAF [:D]

Lashra -> RE: Being new does not give other the right to be snide agree or disagree. (10/29/2009 7:54:59 AM)
When I have an opinion on something, I voice it. If someone gets offended in some way that is just too bad, time to put on the big boy/girl panties and deal with it. Life is full of things we find offensive or do not agree with you either learn to deal with it, ignore it or feel "offended or picked on" all the time. Personally I ignore the dumb shit. ~Lashra

DemonKia -> RE: Being new does not give other the right to be snide agree or disagree. (10/29/2009 9:08:00 AM)
Ya know what? I gotta disagree, RapierFugue . . . . . What I've found to be the numero uno correlate with how a post is received is how it's written. Not it's content, but the way the content is shaped. That's where much of the contentiousness lies . . . . . The OP, for instance, actually has rather dull & uncontroversial opinions about subjects (fat chicks with short hair being less attractive is hardly novel thinking), but his way of presenting his opinions tends to the combative, loaded with passive-aggressive insults, & etc . . . . . I don't think I got properly 'jumped' until I'd posted nearly a hundred posts (look for the 'Radical Honesty' or 'Honestly? I'm Perfect' threads I started in General), & it had to do with the content of my posting rather than how I write. I like to think that's cuz I'm pretty careful about how I communicate . . . . & I tend to think that those with looser, sloppier communication styles get less consistent results than they might ostensibly prefer . . .. . Significantly important, too, to one's receptions is some attempt at being polite & respectful. I see newbie threads 'round here all the time where that is what happens, they're reasonably well-behaved & they get lots of good info in reply, plenty of it reasonably 'nice' . .. .. . There's also that the snark of one, or a few, doesn't taint the whole place for me, but clearly that is how plenty perceive their experience. The nearly endless number of threads where the OP gets obsessed with the few 'negative' posts to a thread & essentially ignores the majority that are neutral or supportive . . .. & frequently concludes that this place sucks because of those few people . . . . . There's also that disagreement tends to generate more responses than agreement . . . . . For those who need attention & more stimulation, that lack of response can be the goad to be trollish. Trolling gets attention. Look at the OP, apparently he thrives on the combat. Negative attention is better than no attention for all too many people . . . & that's above & beyond the silliness embedded in the notion that it is some kind of 'absolute social good' to always (or even frequently) strive to be inoffensive. Since offense is as much in the taking as in the giving, it's more than a little futile to run around worrying about all the unintentional offense people are gonna take . . . . &, as I've pointed out repeatedly in this thread, FetLife is way way way more conciliatory . . . .. . & since the moderating is delegated out to the user base, it's way more flexible. Clearly, CM's message boards are a rather rarefied taste . . .. . . Lastly, & far from leastly, this is a place where sadists & masochists gather. Out, organized, self-identified sadists, masochists, & those who like to play with power & control. I'm more & more amused at the notion that we're all supposed to behave like Sunday school 'round here, given that (to me very important) context . . . . .

sirsholly -> RE: Being new does not give other the right to be snide agree or disagree. (10/29/2009 9:19:51 AM)
quote: in your avatar, I'm having a hard time deciphering the true ass. it's the red dude with the big M.....

RapierFugue -> RE: Being new does not give other the right to be snide agree or disagree. (10/29/2009 9:38:04 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DemonKia Ya know what? I gotta disagree, RapierFugue . . . . . I'm outraged! [:D] quote: ORIGINAL: DemonKia What I've found to be the numero uno correlate with how a post is received is how it's written. Not it's content, but the way the content is shaped. That's where much of the contentiousness lies . . . . . The OP, for instance, actually has rather dull & uncontroversial opinions about subjects (fat chicks with short hair being less attractive is hardly novel thinking), but his way of presenting his opinions tends to the combative, loaded with passive-aggressive insults, & etc . . . . . I don't think I got properly 'jumped' until I'd posted nearly a hundred posts (look for the 'Radical Honesty' or 'Honestly? I'm Perfect' threads I started in General), & it had to do with the content of my posting rather than how I write. I like to think that's cuz I'm pretty careful about how I communicate . . . . & I tend to think that those with looser, sloppier communication styles get less consistent results than they might ostensibly prefer . . .. . Significantly important, too, to one's receptions is some attempt at being polite & respectful. I see newbie threads 'round here all the time where that is what happens, they're reasonably well-behaved & they get lots of good info in reply, plenty of it reasonably 'nice' . .. .. . There's also that the snark of one, or a few, doesn't taint the whole place for me, but clearly that is how plenty perceive their experience. The nearly endless number of threads where the OP gets obsessed with the few 'negative' posts to a thread & essentially ignores the majority that are neutral or supportive . . .. & frequently concludes that this place sucks because of those few people . . . . . There's also that disagreement tends to generate more responses than agreement . . . . . For those who need attention & more stimulation, that lack of response can be the goad to be trollish. Trolling gets attention. Look at the OP, apparently he thrives on the combat. Negative attention is better than no attention for all too many people . . . & that's above & beyond the silliness embedded in the notion that it is some kind of 'absolute social good' to always (or even frequently) strive to be inoffensive. Since offense is as much in the taking as in the giving, it's more than a little futile to run around worrying about all the unintentional offense people are gonna take . . . . Very well put, if you don't mind me saying. I'm trying to separate the idiot OP from the (IMHO of course) fairly reasonable point that, on CM, as a newbie, you either (to a large extent) conform, or you're in for a rough ride. quote: ORIGINAL: DemonKia &, as I've pointed out repeatedly in this thread, FetLife is way way way more conciliatory . . . .. . & since the moderating is delegated out to the user base, it's way more flexible. Clearly, CM's message boards are a rather rarefied taste . . .. . . That's one way of putting it. The main reason I don't bother posting much around here anymore is the heavy-handed and (again IMHO) inconsistent moderating that goes on, especially if one's SoH tends towards the dry. I might have a look at FetLife if it's any better, although TBH I'm not sure I can be arsed most of the time. quote: ORIGINAL: DemonKia Lastly, & far from leastly, this is a place where sadists & masochists gather. Out, organized, self-identified sadists, masochists, & those who like to play with power & control. I'm more & more amused at the notion that we're all supposed to behave like Sunday school 'round here, given that (to me very important) context . . . . . That's not the first time I've seen that written by someone, and it's the only bit of your post I disagree with 100% - everyone, regardless of sexualality, gender or socio-sexual role (authoritarian or not, ie D or s) should be able to hold a reasoned and reasonable debate without recourse to unpleasantries. In my case I have to put my hand up and say I used to be fine when dealt with fairly, but tended to go for the jugular when someone had a pop. These days I don't really GAF on many subjects, none of which are likely to come up in convos here. Above all, a mature, reasoned and reasonable debate is, IMHO, a must. And anyone who says different is a poopy-pants.

sirsholly -> RE: Being new does not give other the right to be snide agree or disagree. (10/29/2009 9:51:46 AM)
quote: Above all, a mature, reasoned and reasonable debate is, IMHO, a must. And anyone who says different is a poopy-pants. you owe me a new keyboard[:D]

RapierFugue -> RE: Being new does not give other the right to be snide agree or disagree. (10/29/2009 9:55:43 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sirsholly quote: Above all, a mature, reasoned and reasonable debate is, IMHO, a must. And anyone who says different is a poopy-pants. you owe me a new keyboard[:D] In a surreal, "life imitating tat" moment, no sooner had I read your reply than one of the little legs on my keyboard [1] that angles it snapped off, so I actually owe me a new keyboard. Rats. [1] I really have had it with Logitech keyboards - they never seem to last me longer than a year, which considering the money I spend on them is outrageous [2] [2] I mean they cost quite a bit, not that I take them out to dinner and buy them flowers, etc

blacklion -> RE: Being new does not give other the right to be snide agree or disagree. (10/29/2009 9:57:22 AM)
[/quote] my personal view of online mentors and protectors is that often times they seem to be favoured by un-knowledgeable alleged d-type people with a white knight fetish for rescuing damsels in distress or s types who shouldn't be here if they do not have the skills to read their own mail and make decisions about the safety or suitability of others. [/quote] I agree

sirsholly -> RE: Being new does not give other the right to be snide agree or disagree. (10/29/2009 9:57:54 AM)
quote: I mean they cost quite a bit, not that I take them out to dinner and buy them flowers, etc wa? You just leave the money under the mousepad?

RapierFugue -> RE: Being new does not give other the right to be snide agree or disagree. (10/29/2009 10:01:52 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sirsholly quote: I mean they cost quite a bit, not that I take them out to dinner and buy them flowers, etc wa? You just leave the money under the mousepad? Everyone pays for computing. All that changes are the methods. Don't judge me![:(]

blacklion -> RE: Being new does not give other the right to be snide agree or disagree. (10/29/2009 10:09:13 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: zephyroftheNorth quote: ORIGINAL: devilishpixie My posse? lol Who exactly is my posse in your opinion? I don't walk because I dont want to I rather enjoy these forums if you dont like my posts or anyone elses for that matter feel free to make the block feature your friend. That would be some sound adivice for those you "speak for as well". ooooo you have a posse, pixie? I wanna posse, or better yet can I join yours? I promise I play well with others. OP it's high time you get over yourself. Really you just aren't that important. Then why are you taking out precious time from your superior life to address unimportant me?

mnottertail -> RE: Being new does not give other the right to be snide agree or disagree. (10/29/2009 10:11:30 AM)
pixie posse , pussy posse? what are we talking about here? Ron

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