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Transparency - 3/8/2006 4:11:26 AM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline 		Does transparency matter to you? By that I mean being totally open to not only yourself, but your partner? Even if it means the poop would hit the fan?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Transparency - 3/8/2006 4:27:09 AM   
slavejali


Posts: 2918
Status: offline 		It's important to me and to Master I would guess that I'm totally open with him. How can he manage me if I'm holding things back from him?

(in reply to Level)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Transparency - 3/8/2006 4:27:35 AM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		My Wife/Free Companion understands as would any slave I collared, that there will always be parts of my life which are closed to them. The inner workings of the Coven(Clan O'Sliabh) untill Neets is initiated to the highest degrees. The workings of the Lodge can never be disclosed to her or to any who are not adepts. My previous diverse employment from which there are still people I talk to and departments to which I must keep in contact... These things she is aware of and understands that they are not part of our personal relationship

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to Level)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Transparency - 3/8/2006 4:33:28 AM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Level
Does transparency matter to you? By that I mean being totally open to not only yourself, but your partner? Even if it means the poop would hit the fan?


Absolutely. Once past a certain level of intimacy, where both people are seriously looking at a long term relationship then she can ask me absolutely anything. I don't hold secrets, not of my own, I have nothing to hide. The only questions I won't answer are those involving things other people have told me in confidence, but anything about myself, I am an open book to any partner.

In the long run I find it avoids more 'poop' than it causes.

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to Level)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Transparency - 3/8/2006 4:39:32 AM   
Cloudz


Posts: 836
Joined: 9/13/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RavenMuse

quote:

ORIGINAL: Level
Does transparency matter to you? By that I mean being totally open to not only yourself, but your partner? Even if it means the poop would hit the fan?


Absolutely. Once past a certain level of intimacy, where both people are seriously looking at a long term relationship then she can ask me absolutely anything. I don't hold secrets, not of my own, I have nothing to hide. The only questions I won't answer are those involving things other people have told me in confidence, but anything about myself, I am an open book to any partner.

In the long run I find it avoids more 'poop' than it causes.


Dear Raven,
I could not have said it better. There are 'conversations' that I must keep private due to my employ, but they have no effect on a partner. I prefer honesty in all things...life just runs smoother this way.

_____________________________

Enjoy the Journey,
~Cloudz

"Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain."


(in reply to RavenMuse)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Transparency - 3/8/2006 4:47:25 AM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Cloudz


quote:

ORIGINAL: RavenMuse

quote:

ORIGINAL: Level
Does transparency matter to you? By that I mean being totally open to not only yourself, but your partner? Even if it means the poop would hit the fan?


Absolutely. Once past a certain level of intimacy, where both people are seriously looking at a long term relationship then she can ask me absolutely anything. I don't hold secrets, not of my own, I have nothing to hide. The only questions I won't answer are those involving things other people have told me in confidence, but anything about myself, I am an open book to any partner.

In the long run I find it avoids more 'poop' than it causes.


Dear Raven,
I could not have said it better. There are 'conversations' that I must keep private due to my employ, but they have no effect on a partner. I prefer honesty in all things...life just runs smoother this way.



Where possible, I do agree and were it not for other aspects opf my live and former life I would go down that path too......


<< Whispers: "Ake iyuskinyan wancinyankelo Tsiloni" Smiles quietly>>

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to Cloudz)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Transparency - 3/8/2006 4:49:42 AM   
Cloudz


Posts: 836
Joined: 9/13/2005
Status: offline 		Blows kisses to IB - Yes, of course I am wildly transparent to you m'dear.

_____________________________

Enjoy the Journey,
~Cloudz

"Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain."


(in reply to IronBear)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Transparency - 3/8/2006 4:49:54 AM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Cloudz
Dear Raven,
I could not have said it better. There are 'conversations' that I must keep private due to my employ, but they have no effect on a partner. I prefer honesty in all things...life just runs smoother this way.


Very much so. Sure people complain at me for being too open, too bluntly honest... tough. It is far better than the alternative. Hiding things, secrets, lies? All undermine the trust in a relationship and IMO trust is a major cornerstone of any relationship, if it is lost then there is nothing left worth having.

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to Cloudz)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Transparency - 3/8/2006 4:53:59 AM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear
Where possible, I do agree and were it not for other aspects opf my live and former life I would go down that path too......


Thats why I mentioned confidentiality about other peoples business, there are things in my past I can't discuss due to the official secrets act, things about my old coven that I won't discuss because of oaths I took...... but most anything involving just myself. Then if it is important enough for a partner to ask then it is important enough for me to give her as full and open an answer as I am able without breaking confidentiality to others.

I think we are probably doing the same thing old friend, just maybe wording it diffrently.

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to IronBear)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Transparency - 3/8/2006 4:59:19 AM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		That mitakola is entirely possible. but we do think alike don't we.... In the language of my Blood Brother, you are a Itancanka ,wicasa iyotanyapi (Master, a Man of Honour).






_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to RavenMuse)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Transparency - 3/8/2006 5:13:01 AM   
BeeQueen


Posts: 73
Joined: 9/29/2005
Status: offline 		transparency or honesty...what is it u refer too?

transparency would bee laying out all motivations of my actions
honesty regards answering questions as open as u can/know.

for transparency u would first need to know about ur own motivations
eg why u do certain things as u do them.
selfreflexion is something not many ppl have, and even less are able to talk about selfreflected awarness

but honesty and open talks about why or how i do things or expect things is absolutly needed for the lifestyle i live.
Bee

(in reply to Level)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Transparency - 3/8/2006 5:28:55 AM   
Littlepita


Posts: 1430
Joined: 10/6/2005
Status: offline 		Yes it is very, very important to me and required of my Dom that I be totally transparent and honest about everything.

_____________________________

“I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.” – Anais Nin

(in reply to BeeQueen)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Transparency - 3/8/2006 5:30:22 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Level
Does transparency matter to you? By that I mean being totally open to not only yourself, but your partner? Even if it means the poop would hit the fan?

How can a relationship really work long term unless everyone is open and up front with what's going on?

We all hit bumps sometimes, but you work through them.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to Level)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Transparency - 3/8/2006 5:32:19 AM   
MasterBuckeye


Posts: 43
Joined: 9/2/2005
From: OHIO
Status: offline 		I have to say that is is extremely important, especially when taking in a NEW Slave/Sub. Without it, I don't believe there can be a solid foundation of trust in one another. Master Buckeye

_____________________________

Master Buckeye

"IGNORANCE CAN BE CURED WITH EDUCATION; BUT STUPIDITY IS HOPELESS!"


(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Transparency - 3/8/2006 5:42:58 AM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear
That mitakola is entirely possible. but we do think alike don't we.... In the language of my Blood Brother, you are a Itancanka ,wicasa iyotanyapi (Master, a Man of Honour).


A high compliment indeed old friend and one I can repay in kind. Your words, attitude and actions that I have observed lead me to draw no other than a high opinion of you also.

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to IronBear)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Transparency - 3/8/2006 6:24:08 AM   
MsIncognito


Posts: 742
Joined: 5/24/2005
Status: offline 		While I do think transparency is important in a relationship I think it has to be a two way street, at least for me. I often get the impression that submissives are expected to be transparent to their Doms yet it's not something that is reciprocated. I know so many submissives who have to keep journals, blogs and report on just about every thought that passes through their head yet only once have I heard of a Dom who regularly kept a journal for his submissive to read as well. I know that many people want and like the imbalance in transparency in a D/s relationship but that's one area where I would need the playing fields to be relatively equal.

(in reply to Level)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Transparency - 3/8/2006 7:03:17 AM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		In a D/s field, I agree with you regarding even playing fields. In an M/s relationship perhaps but dependant of the people.. In a Gorean relationship? Never.

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to MsIncognito)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Transparency - 3/8/2006 7:32:05 AM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

Does transparency matter to you? By that I mean being totally open to not only yourself, but your partner? Even if it means the poop would hit the fan?


i am transparent to him in every way. As for the "poop hitting the fan," As he always says, there may be things i share with him that he doesn't like, but he needs to know them so he can correct what needs correcting. There is nothing about me that he does not know.

(in reply to Level)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Transparency - 3/8/2006 9:29:06 AM   
SimplyV


Posts: 351
Joined: 11/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RavenMuse

quote:

ORIGINAL: Level
Does transparency matter to you? By that I mean being totally open to not only yourself, but your partner? Even if it means the poop would hit the fan?


Absolutely. Once past a certain level of intimacy, where both people are seriously looking at a long term relationship then she can ask me absolutely anything. I don't hold secrets, not of my own, I have nothing to hide. The only questions I won't answer are those involving things other people have told me in confidence, but anything about myself, I am an open book to any partner.

In the long run I find it avoids more 'poop' than it causes.


Oh how true that is. I also like to live my life that way. Keeping things from people isn't a good way to build trust, unless its a secret you were trusted to keep, then keeping it is the only way to retain that trust.

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie
i am transparent to him in every way. As for the "poop hitting the fan," As he always says, there may be things i share with him that he doesn't like, but he needs to know them so he can correct what needs correcting. There is nothing about me that he does not know.


Very true. If ya don't know its broke, ya can't fix it.

(in reply to RavenMuse)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Transparency - 3/8/2006 9:56:47 AM   
amayos


Posts: 1553
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: New England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

Does transparency matter to you? By that I mean being totally open to not only yourself, but your partner? Even if it means the poop would hit the fan?


Transparency does in fact matter a great deal. Judgment and resentment and lack of transparency share a sort of merry-go-round relationship. Lack of transparency leads to resentment, which is by its virtue is a hidden anger. It is resentment that allows you to judge privately and thus build even more reinforcing anger—which can over time become addictive.

True transparency is counter to this process, even if it means harsh implications for being so at first.

(in reply to Level)
Profile   Post #: 20
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