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Where are the paid male doms? - 10/29/2009 4:02:01 AM

hannabanana

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There seem to be paid dominatrices all over the place. Can't you hire a male dom in the same way people hire a female dom? Where would one turn to go about doing that?

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RE: Where are the paid male doms? - 10/29/2009 4:10:15 AM

MasterAramis

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LOL! I would agree with you there! Should be equal opportunity!

Aramis

< Message edited by MasterAramis -- 10/29/2009 4:11:20 AM >

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RE: Where are the paid male doms? - 10/29/2009 4:12:29 AM

hannabanana

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Haha! To clarify, I'm not a male interested in being paid to be a dom. I'm a female interested in hiring a male dom.

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RE: Where are the paid male doms? - 10/29/2009 4:18:07 AM

MasterAramis

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No I got that! I think if a woman wants a male Dominant to do physical stuff and wants to pay for it, more power to you!

I can't speak for sub men, but I imagine that most who engage in this type of thing are looking for just the physical and not for a long term arrangement. So it works out well I would imagine. Probably the same goes for woman too, no?

Aramis

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RE: Where are the paid male doms? - 10/29/2009 5:05:01 AM

markbugger

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hanna,

Probably because there are more men in the scene than women, there would not be much of a demand for it. Most women seem to post a profile on here and they are overwhelmed by responses. Mind if I ask what part of Virginia you are in? I am also from VA, is why I am asking.

Cheers,

Mark

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RE: Where are the paid male doms? - 10/29/2009 5:12:27 AM

devilishpixie

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quote:

ORIGINAL: hannabanana

There seem to be paid dominatrices all over the place. Can't you hire a male dom in the same way people hire a female dom? Where would one turn to go about doing that?

I know of several pro doms (men) who are on this site they are around you just have to look for them. There are far less than pro dommes for sure.

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RE: Where are the paid male doms? - 10/29/2009 5:13:32 AM

hannabanana

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I'm pretty sure there's absolutely no shortage of women who enjoy dominating men. People don't pay someone to dominate them because it's the only way they can find someone willing to do so. They pay someone because rather than a mutually beneficial arrangement, they would like someone who caters specifically to their own sexual fantasies and bringing money into the equation is the only way that would bring benefit to the other party.

I'm in NoVa.

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RE: Where are the paid male doms? - 10/29/2009 5:25:43 AM

DarkSteven

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hanna, I read your username and want to add "Fo-fanna" to it...

To answer your question, you can very likely find a male Dom who is willing to scene with you without charge due to the excess of males in the scene.

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The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

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RE: Where are the paid male doms? - 10/29/2009 5:34:20 AM

hannabanana

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One who would be happy to craft the scene entirely to my fantasies instead of his own? I find that doubtful. Even if I could, I'd feel pretty guilty being so selfish.

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RE: Where are the paid male doms? - 10/29/2009 5:37:57 AM

DarkSteven

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quote:

ORIGINAL: hannabanana

One who would be happy to craft the scene entirely to my fantasies instead of his own? I find that doubtful. Even if I could, I'd feel pretty guilty being so selfish.

Point taken.

The Dom in that case would be known as a "service Top". The difference is that the bottom is actually in control in your scenario.

It's still not impossible - I've service Topped.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

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RE: Where are the paid male doms? - 10/29/2009 5:38:20 AM

RedMagic1

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http://www.domme.com/directory/Links_and_Resources/MaleDom/index.html

There are other links like that one, too. My suggestion, though, is to go to some BDSM events in your area, strictly as a bystander if you wish, get to know a few people there, and then ask someone for a reference. I don't know anything about the people advertising on the website I linked to. Best to hear directly that a man is skilled, professional and safe.

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RE: Where are the paid male doms? - 10/29/2009 5:41:25 AM

hannabanana

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DarkSteven, thanks for the vocabulary. That should help me search.

RedMagic1, oooohhh sweet! Thank you!

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RE: Where are the paid male doms? - 10/29/2009 5:44:09 AM

PainfullyCurious

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I've read articles from silly little cosmo quizzes to scholarly journal articles on women's and men's desires and I've found, as far as positions go, there are more women who want men to be on top then there are men who want to be on top. There are more women who fantasize about being spanked then there are men who think about spanking.

I guess that just goes to show there is a huge difference between what people want and what they do. There must be way more men willing to to act on what they want then there are women willing to act on it.

I guess it's not so surprising when you think about it, but I never would have guessed that there are more men on the scene. Not in a million years...

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RE: Where are the paid male doms? - 10/29/2009 5:51:03 AM

hannabanana

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quote:

ORIGINAL: PainfullyCurious
I guess that just goes to show there is a huge difference between what people want and what they do. There must be way more men willing to to act on what they want then there are women willing to act on it.

I think safety is a major component. I have never been to a fetish club, much as I would like to, because I fear for my safety and don't want to deal with constant sexual harassment and disrespect. That's one hell of a bigger concern for females than it is for males and it keeps a lot of females out of the scene who would otherwise be happy to join it.

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RE: Where are the paid male doms? - 10/29/2009 5:51:16 AM

CelticSubM

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I've often wondered about the old question "Why pay for something that a lot of people are happy to give away?" Of course, that doesn't apply solely to sexual services. People pay for Windows, rather than using Linux. They pay for bottled water rather than drink tap water, and so on. I suspect that what people are really paying for in commercial sex or domination is not the sex or domination per se. They are paying to get it when they want it, the way they want it, with no strings attached. That does make it seem ironic that it is generally submissives who are willing to pay money to have everything the way they want.

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RE: Where are the paid male doms? - 10/29/2009 6:00:07 AM

DarkSteven

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quote:

ORIGINAL: hannabanana
I think safety is a major component. I have never been to a fetish club, much as I would like to, because I fear for my safety and don't want to deal with constant sexual harassment and disrespect. That's one hell of a bigger concern for females than it is for males and it keeps a lot of females out of the scene who would otherwise be happy to join it.

That's not safety. It's perceived safety. You would be safer meeting someone at a club than anywhere else, and I know women that will not meet anywhere else for the first meet.

You are surrounded by people who know the lifestyle. And anyone who's ever hurt someone else will be afraid to show his face in a club.

Seriously, give a call to a club and ask what precautions they have in place for an unattached female.

You can also go to munches. Munches are get-togethers of kinky people in a nonkinky setting. It's for conversation ONLY - no play is permitted there.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

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RE: Where are the paid male doms? - 10/29/2009 6:01:30 AM

CelticSubM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: hannabanana

quote:

ORIGINAL: PainfullyCurious
I guess that just goes to show there is a huge difference between what people want and what they do. There must be way more men willing to to act on what they want then there are women willing to act on it.

I think safety is a major component. I have never been to a fetish club, much as I would like to, because I fear for my safety and don't want to deal with constant sexual harassment and disrespect. That's one hell of a bigger concern for females than it is for males and it keeps a lot of females out of the scene who would otherwise be happy to join it.

I think also it's partly a matter that male dominant/female submissive is much closer to traditional gender roles. Therefore submissive women are probably more likely to be able to find a suitable partner, lover or spouse through meeting someone in conventional social venues, rather than feeling they must resort to bdsm "lifestyle" events, groups, web sites, etc.

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RE: Where are the paid male doms? - 10/29/2009 6:21:49 AM

RedMagic1

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I agree strongly with DarkSteven. When people talk about being afraid of fetish clubs, it makes me want to dropkick the producers of CSI. Just bite the bullet and go. If you lived closer, I'd offer to chaperon you. Nobody's going to cut you into little pieces and fricassee them.

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Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

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RE: Where are the paid male doms? - 10/29/2009 6:33:06 AM

DesFIP

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From: Apple County NY
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A club is the safest way to go to meet someone. Just email the owners and ask if they have a newbie intro service. Many will help you feel more comfortable, introduce you around.

As far as pro dommes, no there aren't that many compared to the number of bottom males. Plus women are less likely to want a play only relationship which the sub males frequently do seek. A prodomme here can always find someone to play with. Which is also true of most sub females. Men tend to chase more, vanilla or kinky.

Oh and pro male doms? There are lots servicing the gay community. Since you're looking for a scene only thing, with no sex, why not search there. But really you can find someone willing to service top you occasionally and you can deal with your guilt by doing things for him occasionally. Trade fantasies and do so inside of a friends relationship.

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RE: Where are the paid male doms? - 10/29/2009 6:40:00 AM

hannabanana

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quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1
If you lived closer, I'd offer to chaperon you.

Don't take this the wrong way, but I don't think I want a big bad man standing next to me to protect me from anyone who is sexually harassing me or being disrespectful. That's at least as bad as what I'm trying to avoid.

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