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RE: Where are the paid male doms? - 10/29/2009 7:43:05 PM   
CelticSubM


Posts: 102
Joined: 3/12/2004
Status: offline 		I think also willingness to pay a commercial dominant depends a lot on just what the submissive is seeking. The way a flogging or caning feels doesn't depend on the motivations of the one doing it. Psychological domination, emotional control do depend heavily on the submissive's mental image of the dominant. Those who seek physical domination are probably going to be a lot more ready to pay than those who see d/s as one particular subcategory of romantic or sexual relationship.

In general, willingness to pay for sexual services of any sort has a lot to do with a particular individual's attitude towards money. For some persons, paying would be seen as saying to themselves and others "I'm a loser. No one is going to want me any other way." For others, payment is a validation of their personal power, a way of getting what they want, when they want it, on their own terms.

(in reply to Aileen1968)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Where are the paid male doms? - 10/29/2009 7:59:24 PM   
CaringandReal


Posts: 1397
Joined: 2/15/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: hannabanana

There seem to be paid dominatrices all over the place.  Can't you hire a male dom in the same way people hire a female dom?  Where would one turn to go about doing that?


At times I've been curious about the same thing and for much the same reason. A search on collarme for male dominants, any age, any country looking for sub females and the text search "prodom" always turns up a (very) few names. There are probably better key words than that. I tried "professional dominant" once and came up with a huge pile of the usual guys, who use the phrase "I am a professional Dominant!" to mean they are employed or to imply they are employed well. I'm sure they are! But not at the right job. ;)

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(in reply to hannabanana)
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RE: Where are the paid male doms? - 10/30/2009 2:40:50 AM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline 		Oh there ARE male 'service Tops' for hire, mostly though serving gay clients. However there are a tiny few who serve female clients.

IMO the paid side of things ain't 'Domming' it is service Topping anyhow. A client wants what they are paying for, if they don't get that then they will take their money elsewhere next time. A submissive is likely to make a better service Top than a Dominant, because the sub is wired to want to please... an actual Dom is going to take what They want rather than provide the service that the client wants.

Though not saying that all those who do so can't BE Dominant, I know a few who 'service top' to earn a living but ARE Dominant in their private relationships. But I know far more 'pro dommes' who go home after the session and kneel before their Master. Of the few male 'pros' I've met, though one labels himself as dom, not one of them could dom their way out of a paper bag.


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(in reply to hannabanana)
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RE: Where are the paid male doms? - 10/30/2009 2:47:16 AM   
accipitres


Posts: 70
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: hannabanana

I wasn't going to respond to all this since I was hoping the thread would go back to the original topic, but since it looks like that won't happen, I'll go ahead and address this argument.



On the original topic: I have looked for a Pro Dom for years, and have found exactly two. 

On the club thing:  I have been to 100's of fetish clubs, conventions, munches, parties.  I have never felt unsafe.  I have never been harrassed.  I have, however, been bored out of my mind

(in reply to hannabanana)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Where are the paid male doms? - 10/30/2009 3:42:29 AM   
CelticSubM


Posts: 102
Joined: 3/12/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: accipitres

...On the club thing:  I have been to 100's of fetish clubs, conventions, munches, parties.  I have never felt unsafe.  I have never been harrassed.  I have, however, been bored out of my mind


My experience is much the same. (Of course, as a male who is over 6 feet and over 200 lbs, safety is not the same sort of issue for me. There are however relatively subtle forms of harassment, to which no one is immune.) Others may feel differently, but for me anyway a shared interest in bdsm is not much indication that I'm going to have much to talk about with a particular person or group of people. It may work out that way or it may not. On the whole, I've had a lot more luck as far as meeting women at other kinds of events who later turned out to be interested in bdsm than I have with meeting someone at a bdsm event and finding there are enough other interests to maintain a connection. (Of course, there seem to be many who'd not worry that much about other kinds of interests, as long as their particular kink can be gratified.)

(in reply to accipitres)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Where are the paid male doms? - 10/30/2009 6:04:18 PM   
LanceHughes


Posts: 4737
Joined: 2/12/2004
Status: offline 		I meant: www.enclavewest.com Sorry for the typo.

As a Gay Dom, I rarely worry about whether my sub has tits or balls.  They all have a nice back for flogging; they all have two arms and two legs for bondage (well, most, but you know what I mean)  Most importantly, they all have a big sexual organ called the brain.

I wrote some hot scenes on some of these threads and have been rewarded with "THUD"s from (last count 5) women here.  One gay male (Wolf2Bear) thought I was writing for him and complained that he didn't THUD.  Hey, he gets a different story, mainly because his brain is different.

If the OP is in Denver (ski season starts soon) just let me know and I'll be happy to tailor an appropiate scene for her.  She can bring her own paper bag and I'll show her how well I can "dom out of it." LOL!  Alternately, I'll sell her one.

It's the brain, Boss.  The brain.

< Message edited by LanceHughes -- 10/30/2009 6:05:37 PM >

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(in reply to CelticSubM)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Where are the paid male doms? - 10/30/2009 6:09:29 PM   
Wolf2Bear


Posts: 3204
Joined: 9/6/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LanceHughes

I wrote some hot scenes on some of these threads and have been rewarded with "THUD"s from (last count 5) women here.  One gay male (Wolf2Bear) thought I was writing for him and complained that he didn't THUD.  Hey, he gets a different story, mainly because his brain is different.





Sorry but lately what has me obsessed is rough, down and dirty, taken by the throat then slammed down and being taken types scenarios grab my attention!!!!!


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Take the pain
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Let me into your soul
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(in reply to LanceHughes)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Where are the paid male doms? - 10/30/2009 6:24:55 PM   
LanceHughes


Posts: 4737
Joined: 2/12/2004
Status: offline 		Thinking a little further as to the OP's original request, I use the following metaphor in my BDSM 101 lecture - When the Dom/me asks "What are you into?" The wrong answer is "Anything you want me to be, Sir/Ma'm."  People kinda look at me oddly, so I continue.... Let's say you are going to the woods of Canada for a summer vaction.  A particular guide has been recommended to you 'cause "He knows everything" your friend has told you.  So, you arrive there and he says "What are you into?"  Well, he is asking mainly because different vacation goals need different equipment, food, transport, etc.  Site seeing for photography is way different than fishng which is different than kyakking, etc.

So, I think your orignial question, OP, is equivalent to asking "Why are there so few female Canadian guides?"  If it's important to find a Dom, you need to do your homework, just as you would need to do if you were insistent on finding that female guide.  Now, you have been given a couple of links toward male ProDoms...... If those links don't work for you, then you need to find-a-friend who can recomend a ProDom (preferably in your area.)  ALL the suggestions above are - A good place to find a verbal recommendation is....................... (various responses of munch, clubs, etc.)

Get it?  Look for your Canadian female guide in the yellow pages or get a friend to rcommend one to you.  Yellow pages aren't helping and no friends have gone to Canada, much less looked for a female guide?  Well, make a friend OR enjoy your scene with a male guide (which in this metaphor is a ProDomme .)

And, last but not least, what is more important - your particular fetish (of paying) or whom you pay?

_____________________________

"Train 'em the right way - my way." Lance Hughes
"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer, but wish we didn't." Erica Jong

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Member: VAA's posse

(in reply to LanceHughes)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Where are the paid male doms? - 10/31/2009 9:10:47 PM   
Eivarden


Posts: 101
Joined: 4/15/2009
Status: offline 		To Hanna,

Honestly, if you are straight up about it from the start, I'm a 100% sure you can find a guy willing to fill that role easily, w/o having to pay.

The only downside would be experience. (He might not have as much as you would like.)

(in reply to hannabanana)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Where are the paid male doms? - 11/2/2009 7:28:13 AM   
roland23


Posts: 241
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline 		How can I apply for such a position? Years ago, a friend and fellow dom told me, "You oughta get paid for doing this!" after he saw me dominate a female sub in his basement dungeon. I've been thinking about this ever since. Any suggestions would be helpful!   

(in reply to hannabanana)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Where are the paid male doms? - 11/2/2009 9:26:14 AM   
MagiksSlave


Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline 		Why pay for it when there are so many that would do it for free??

Thats the thing, there are so many male Doms that a fem sub doesnt really NEED to pay. It supply and demand when there are a lot of things their price goes down... in some cases all the way down to free. If there were a shortage of them, as there are in Domme's then the price can go up. But no one is going to charge for something that so many others are giving away, there just isnt a busyness in it. No money to be made.


MS

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.


-Rodney Atkins-



(in reply to hannabanana)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Where are the paid male doms? - 11/2/2009 3:53:34 PM   
Redoubt


Posts: 185
Joined: 8/11/2007
Status: offline 		FR: I'd also be one to suggest a BDSM club, the difference between my experiences there and the experiences you equate them to are huge. Just try it, and if you don't like - walk out.

As for service topping, again, a lot will do it gladly for free... fortunately ego is a currency to a lot of tops. Plus at a club, you get to look before you try.

(in reply to MagiksSlave)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Where are the paid male doms? - 11/2/2009 5:21:34 PM   
Acer49


Posts: 1434
Joined: 8/7/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: hannabanana

There seem to be paid dominatrices all over the place.  Can't you hire a male dom in the same way people hire a female dom?  Where would one turn to go about doing that?


Contact your local bondage house and if they don't have a male, maybe they can give you some leads

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Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself.
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(in reply to hannabanana)
Profile   Post #: 53
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