RE: Do your friends and family know?

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: Do your friends and family know?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Do your friends and family know?

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 4 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Do your friends and family know? - 11/6/2009 3:10:20 PM

DomImus

Posts: 2004
Joined: 3/17/2009
Status: offline

My friends and family know about as much about my private sexual life as I know about theirs. Which would be none. I like it that way. If you aren't fucking me you need to know nothing about what happens in my bedroom. That would be the same if I was not kinky. If I was not able to pursue my bdsm and kink interests without everyone else knowing then I would better understand the need some people have to wave their flag or at least I would understand why they routinely inquire as to why I do not wave mine. I think sometimes people think their personal life is more relevant to the people around them than it really is.

_____________________________

"Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable." Sidney J. harris

(in reply to MTCell)

Post #: 21

RE: Do your friends and family know? - 11/6/2009 3:27:57 PM

CarrieO

Posts: 2432
Joined: 1/27/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MTCell

Have you been in a discussion where fetishes have been bought up?

Yes

Have you ever stated openly what your fetish is to friends or family? Were you ever put down for these feelings? Do you care what others think?

I've discussed things with certain people who are kink-friendly and who I have a close relationship with. Does that mean I've felt the need to discuss my sexual proclivities with my 70+ year old mother...no. Why would I need to?

I find nothing, absolutely nothing to be embarrassed about in My sexual life preferences. As long as it's consenting adults, whats the issue?

Well, there is appropriate and inappropriate conversation material and a time and a place for everything. Discussing my desire to visit Cabela's to check out what they offer in the way of knives because I'd like to do a bit of "carving" isn't appropriate dinner conversation with the family. Make sense?

I have noticed others saying they're mortified if their family or friends or co-workers found out! why? We do nothing shameful, and btw, just who decides what's shameful??

Personal preference...nothing more, nothing less. I think it has less to do with shame and more to do with privacy.

Are you nervous or apprehensive of anyone you know seeing you on the net, or at a play party or just in an adult or kink store?

No....No...No.

I think it's time that others in this world learned the true meaning of minding their own business! What say you?

I say yes....mind your own business.

_____________________________

"No matter what happens in the kitchen, never apologize"~Julia Child~

(in reply to MTCell)

Post #: 22

RE: Do your friends and family know? - 11/6/2009 3:36:19 PM

Elipsis

Posts: 301
Joined: 7/8/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MTCell

Have you been in a discussion where fetishes have been bought up? Have you ever stated openly what your fetish is to friends or family? Were you ever put down for these feelings? Do you care what others think?

Yes. Yes. Not in a serious way. Not really.

(in reply to MTCell)

Post #: 23

RE: Do your friends and family know? - 11/6/2009 4:13:44 PM

Surrenderwithin

Posts: 368
Joined: 10/8/2006
Status: offline

My entire family is well aware of my choices in life. They know about the power exchange and the poly. I am not the kind of person that could lead a double life and have to hide who I am from those I love. I feel that openness and honesty is important for me; I see omission as a lie in this situation. I have been lucky and fortunate in the way my family has elected to respond.
Maggi

_____________________________

"There are 2 kinds of strengths: the strength to lead, and to follow; the strength to control, and to yield. There are 2 kinds of power: the power to strip another's soul bare, and the power to stand naked." - Yaldah Tovah
*15 Nz Pts*

(in reply to antipode)

Post #: 24

RE: Do your friends and family know? - 11/6/2009 4:48:18 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

I just find it distasteful to share my sexual life with friends and family. I see that as a private thing between me and my partner, not something to shout from the rooftops about.

I used to know people who would always be telling me about their wild sexual escapades and who they fucked the night before and all that kind of stuff and I always found it just to be rude and immature. I always wondered if the other person knew how they were talked about to others.

I've just never seen any kind of reason or need to have to share it with others.

(in reply to antipode)

Post #: 25

RE: Do your friends and family know? - 11/6/2009 5:35:57 PM

seany

Posts: 11
Joined: 10/23/2009
Status: offline

I dont even see HOW it could possibly come up in a discussion with friends or family.Ever. "So sean,tell us more about your sexual orientation"

No ones business

_____________________________

"But you hate people!"

"But I love gatherings. Isn't it ironic?" - Clerks

(in reply to antipode)

Post #: 26

RE: Do your friends and family know? - 11/6/2009 5:43:45 PM

Ropebefun

Posts: 10
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline

A few games of "Never have I ever" have brought it up, but in the company of other kinky people. Most of my friends know and so do my parents. They never cared one way or the other, actually a few started to ask me questions about getting into it. No one has ever put me down for it, and frankly I really do not care what anyone thinks about it.

(in reply to seany)

Post #: 27

RE: Do your friends and family know? - 11/6/2009 5:50:36 PM

Hierodule

Posts: 597
Joined: 9/22/2009
Status: offline

friends yes, family no. But I regret telling my friends to be honest. They are young and "hip" so I thought it would be no big deal. Alas I was wrong. the hip kids these days like to dress like sleeze bags. But when confronted with things that might possibly be truly sleezey, more often than not, their assholes tighten up and they transform into the worst kind of prude. Moral of the story: a sleezey porn star mustache, or a trashy spandex body suit does not a pervert make

(in reply to Ropebefun)

Post #: 28

RE: Do your friends and family know? - 11/6/2009 6:17:02 PM

egyptofreak

Posts: 3
Joined: 10/29/2009
Status: offline

I don't ask them, and I would be highly offended if they asked me. Do they know? Perhaps, Do they suspect? I believe so.

(in reply to antipode)

Post #: 29

RE: Do your friends and family know? - 11/6/2009 6:35:36 PM

SomethingCatchy

Posts: 796
Joined: 7/29/2008
Status: offline

He, for some reason, told his mom. The friends I've made in the lifestyle know, and two of my closest friends know, but other than that, I see no reason to tell the rest of my closed-minded family and friends about my personal life when it would have some serious consequences.

_____________________________

I believe in Invisible Pink Unicorns

Everyone is gay for Joseph Gordon-Levitt.

Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

(in reply to antipode)

Post #: 30

RE: Do your friends and family know? - 11/6/2009 6:46:35 PM

Passion8Kisser

Posts: 72
Joined: 10/5/2009
Status: offline

I have been caught in acts of submission bdsm related things. Wearing my ex's collar for instance; or wearing a rope dress at the request of a Dom. My family didn't get those hints and I wasn't comfortable exposing more of myself to them than those incidents. My sisters I think both know. No one else in the family does though they might suspect I am "weird" lol. I like my private life to remain private despite my exhibitionistic tendencies. My family has the tendency to be ignorant and closed minded anyway. So they wouldn't get the lifestyle. IT would just make them embarrassed and perhaps sad. To discover I was a deviant, kinky freak, whatever other labels people write for us. Some friends know as I felt the urge or need to tell them. More friends will know as I become involved in community events or even in being an exhibitionist. A friend knows that I was but not that I returned to the lifestyle.

It's my life, aside from figuring it all out, I just want to enjoy living it.

(in reply to SomethingCatchy)

Post #: 31

RE: Do your friends and family know? - 11/6/2009 8:05:56 PM

BKSir

Posts: 4037
Joined: 4/8/2008
From: Salt Lake City, UT
Status: offline

Actually, there is a little regret I have about this situation. My mom, before she died, never got to meet my secondary partner or my pet. She, of course, wouldn't have probably wanted the intimate details, but, she would have asked, especially about the pet, and expected an honest and open answer. One which I would have gladly given her. She was open minded like that, and if she saw that everyone involved was consenting and happy with the situation, then she could find no way to be otherwise herself. I also know that she would have become a second mother to both of them. Just the kind of person she was.

Although, thinking about it, I wonder what grandma would have said... Probably something like "THREE!? You have three!? Are you insane? One is more than enough headache, why the hell would you want THREE!? Wait... what? You actually GET to whip one of them? Well, that's a plus then I guess."

Yeah, grandma was a little bit different.

And of course, my cousin, who was more like my big sister would probably just say "Well damn! And they're cute too! You little jackass. Share with the rest of us and quit hogging them all to yourself."

The rest of my relatives, they can barely understand difficult books like "Pat the Bunny", so, I wouldn't even bother trying.

_____________________________

We'll begin with a spin, traveling in a world of my creation. What we'll see will defy explanation.

I am the voices in your head.

BiggKatt Studios

(in reply to Passion8Kisser)

Post #: 32

RE: Do your friends and family know? - 11/6/2009 8:37:45 PM

switch2please

Posts: 494
Joined: 12/5/2008
Status: offline

My mom, my sisters, my close friends and I are all very open about sex. They know I'm into kink, and they know that all they have to do is ask if they ever want specifics. My mom has met my current primary boyfriend and my girlfriend...and she's seen my ex-bf doing housework at my apartment in a wig, makeup, heels and a french maid's uniform. Now THAT was an interesting afternoon...
I know vaguely what they like, and again, if I want the gory details, all I have to do is ask. We don't usually venture into particulars, but I won't hesitate to offer my crop if they ever want to borrow it :)
In fact it's hanging over my bed with my singletail, so even though it hasn't come up I'm sure my roommates know.

In the only conversation we've ever had on the topic, my dad told me bluntly that he doesn't want to know if I'm having sex, let alone what exactly I might be doing. His parents are rather conservative...we haven't breached the subject, so as far as I know they're in the dark. My maternal grandpa would also rather be oblivious to what his little girl is doing, and I respect that. My maternal grandma knows I dance - and disapproves, though she likes asking questions about it - and she knows I'm into kink but I don't think she has more than a very hazy general idea of what that means...

(in reply to BKSir)

Post #: 33

RE: Do your friends and family know? - 11/6/2009 8:44:52 PM

lucylucy

Posts: 612
Joined: 3/1/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AnimusRex

But if my 85 year old aunt still enjoys her vibrator, I would prefer she keep that to herself.

I love this comment! Seriously, I don't want to know what my dad and his wife do in bed and I doubt they want to know what I do in bed.

I have some close friends who know little bits and pieces--just as I know little bits and pieces about their sex lives. I have no shame about anything, but I do have a sense of decorum (most of the time).

_____________________________

“There are those who give with joy, & that joy is their reward.” Gibran / "Those who are willing to be vulnerable move among mysteries." Roethke / "Let the beauty we love be what we do. There are hundreds of ways to kneel & kiss the ground." Rumi

(in reply to AnimusRex)

Post #: 34

RE: Do your friends and family know? - 11/6/2009 9:25:30 PM

BKSir

Posts: 4037
Joined: 4/8/2008
From: Salt Lake City, UT
Status: offline

Parents do not have sex. Period. It just does not, nor has it EVER happened. I was delivered via stork. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

_____________________________

We'll begin with a spin, traveling in a world of my creation. What we'll see will defy explanation.

I am the voices in your head.

BiggKatt Studios

(in reply to lucylucy)

Post #: 35

RE: Do your friends and family know? - 11/6/2009 10:23:30 PM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

My Mom knows, my Dad knew. Most of my friends know. I dont randomly announce it. No embarrassment here, just the understanding that not everyone WANTS to know.

I wanted to expand on this..

my mother knows I'm involved in kink (when I moved to FL it was sudden, so Mom got to pack my stuff..although she already knew due to her asking about the leather flag sticker I had on my truck). She does not know details..not even which side of the kneel I'm on. Dad knew because he saw some of my accoutrements when I was moving from CA to GA.

None of the discussions included details of a sexual nature. Ultimately, all either of them wanted to know was if I was happy with what I did.

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to GreedyTop)

Post #: 36

RE: Do your friends and family know? - 11/6/2009 10:57:42 PM

pompeii

Posts: 934
Joined: 1/4/2007
From: Silicon Valley, San Jose, California
Status: offline

They're all too Catholic to know (nor understand) ...

(in reply to antipode)

Post #: 37

RE: Do your friends and family know? - 11/6/2009 11:19:41 PM

RUaPhdStudent

Posts: 56
Status: offline

True for both of us:
Friends know
Family does not know

(in reply to pompeii)

Post #: 38

RE: Do your friends and family know? - 11/7/2009 3:34:14 AM

ExiledVanity

Posts: 6
Joined: 10/29/2009
Status: offline

yeah, most of family and friends know to a various exstent, iv been universally out as queer since 15, tho i dont think bdsm or whoever/whatever im doing is anyones business i wont steer conversation away from topics like bdsm when they come up, and depending on how well they know me certain questions may be asked.

(in reply to RUaPhdStudent)

Post #: 39

RE: Do your friends and family know? - 11/7/2009 8:03:12 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BKSir
Parents do not have sex. Period. It just does not, nor has it EVER happened. I was delivered via stork. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

I wish.

After my mother died, my sister and I cleaned out her apartment. Opening the bedside table and finding it full of vibrators and dildos is something I easily could have missed. I knew she was sexually active, but I sure as hell didn't want to be confronted with the facts of the matter. And I only wish I had gloves when I had to take them out of the cabiner and put them in the garbage.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to BKSir)

Post #: 40

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 4 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Do your friends and family know?

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 4 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.109