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my first screw up :( - 11/10/2009 3:28:23 PM   
northernsiren


Posts: 21
Joined: 5/1/2009
Status: offline 		Last night was my very first screw up.  Sir left His nipple clamps at my house, and asked me to bring them to Him a few days later. He cautioned me that they bend easily, and to be careful.  I put them in a special fabric bag all their own, and then that bag in a backpack along with my other things and thought I was doing well to be attentive of them, and He would be proud. 

A few hours later He asked me to retrieve them. I presented them to Him in the bag, thinking I would be praised for my care.  He took them out, and one of them was bent.  I never could have anticipated the way it made me feel.  Awful, terrible, I cried and cried, to the point where He took me to bed and held me, talking to me sweetly and lovingly, right away knowing that any punishment He gave me could never make me feel worse than I already did.  I am getting weepy just thinking about it!  I just felt so bad having let Him down, and damaged His property.  He forgives me, and asked how I would prevent it from happening next time, and I knew right away. 

I know screw ups will happen despite my best efforts to be His good girl.  I am hoping I can learn how to handle this with more grace than I did though.  I am surprised by the intensity of my reaction myself.  Do these things happen with your subs, and if so, do you try to encourage them to be less emotional about it?  How?  How would you handle this?  I think everything He did was perfect, indeed, I beat myself up inwardly so much, I could barely stand it...

Many thanks for responses, they are deeply appreciated...
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: my first screw up :( - 11/10/2009 3:29:40 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		WTF? I thought you all liked the intensity of emotions.

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RE: my first screw up :( - 11/10/2009 3:39:48 PM   
Aileen1968


Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline 		How does a nipple clamp bend? the ones we have are pretty fucking sturdy.

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RE: my first screw up :( - 11/10/2009 3:40:13 PM   
NihilusZero


Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		Maybe I'm weird, but I happen to like the way the story happened.

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I know they're all insane
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RE: my first screw up :( - 11/10/2009 3:46:05 PM   
lovingpet


Posts: 4270
Joined: 6/19/2005
Status: offline 		Let me put a spin on this that I am really addressing to myself. You said you felt terrible damaging his property. Remember, should you become his permanently (your post doesn't make it clear to me if you already are), that YOU are his most precious property and to take care of yourself in such a way as to never, ever damage it. Maybe part of the key to handling things with grace is to know that the pain and stress you placed yourself under was not at all good for his property that is far more irreplacable than a nipple clamp. If your partner is anything like mine, he wants you whole in body, mind, and soul. Take good care of what is his always.

lovingpet

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RE: my first screw up :( - 11/10/2009 3:47:27 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

How does a nipple clamp bend? the ones we have are pretty fucking sturdy.



Well, you got them old cast iron tubgirl tits.


Ron

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Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


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RE: my first screw up :( - 11/10/2009 3:49:36 PM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline 		She probably made them out of an old set of jumper cables.

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RE: my first screw up :( - 11/10/2009 3:52:22 PM   
Aileen1968


Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline 		Ha. I blame these iron nips on my Italian genetics.

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RE: my first screw up :( - 11/10/2009 3:53:07 PM   
maybemaybenot


Posts: 2817
Joined: 9/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail


quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

How does a nipple clamp bend? the ones we have are pretty fucking sturdy.



Well, you got them old cast iron tubgirl tits.


Ron


Ron:
You crack me up !  I almost peed myself on this one
             mbmbn

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When tolerance is not reciprocated, tolerance becomes surrender.

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RE: my first screw up :( - 11/10/2009 4:51:36 PM   
Huntertn


Posts: 715
Joined: 10/7/2006
Status: offline 		How can you use them if they bend in a cloth bag ????Must not be the bite from hell..lol

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Profile   Post #: 10
RE: my first screw up :( - 11/10/2009 4:58:02 PM   
Aylee


Posts: 24103
Joined: 10/14/2007
Status: offline 		It's metal, can't you just "unbend" them?

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Profile   Post #: 11
RE: my first screw up :( - 11/10/2009 5:04:23 PM   
KCpower


Posts: 13
Joined: 10/5/2009
Status: offline 		nipple clamps bent....$10    nipples bent...Priceless

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Profile   Post #: 12
RE: my first screw up :( - 11/10/2009 5:06:19 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		If they're that soft just bend them back.
However that's what I'd do now, or apologize and get him a replacement set.

Back when we were just starting I would have been overcome with despair at having disappointed him. I would have expected him to be angry, to decide I wasn't good enough, to leave me. Any of this sound familiar?

What he did was give me a very minor spanking, 3 or 4 light swats, so I could cry it out. These days I'd fix the problem and we wouldn't have any emotional upset. But by now I know that he won't leave just because I'm human and therefore fallible and sometimes make mistakes despite trying not to.


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RE: my first screw up :( - 11/10/2009 5:08:09 PM   
LookieNoNookie


Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: northernsiren

Last night was my very first screw up. 


I screwed up once.

(It happens).

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Profile   Post #: 14
RE: my first screw up :( - 11/10/2009 5:11:22 PM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline
quote:

Awful, terrible, I cried and cried, to the point where He took me to bed and held me, talking to me sweetly and lovingly, right away knowing that any punishment He gave me could never make me feel worse than I already did


And this is why punishment is good.  One solid whack or ten minutes in a corner and then the episode is over. 

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Profile   Post #: 15
RE: my first screw up :( - 11/10/2009 5:16:33 PM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: northernsiren

Last night was my very first screw up.  Sir left His nipple clamps at my house, and asked me to bring them to Him a few days later. He cautioned me that they bend easily, and to be careful.  I put them in a special fabric bag all their own, and then that bag in a backpack along with my other things and thought I was doing well to be attentive of them, and He would be proud. 

A few hours later He asked me to retrieve them. I presented them to Him in the bag, thinking I would be praised for my care.  He took them out, and one of them was bent.  I never could have anticipated the way it made me feel.  Awful, terrible, I cried and cried, to the point where He took me to bed and held me, talking to me sweetly and lovingly, right away knowing that any punishment He gave me could never make me feel worse than I already did.  I am getting weepy just thinking about it!  I just felt so bad having let Him down, and damaged His property.  He forgives me, and asked how I would prevent it from happening next time, and I knew right away. 

I know screw ups will happen despite my best efforts to be His good girl.  I am hoping I can learn how to handle this with more grace than I did though.  I am surprised by the intensity of my reaction myself.  Do these things happen with your subs, and if so, do you try to encourage them to be less emotional about it?  How?  How would you handle this?  I think everything He did was perfect, indeed, I beat myself up inwardly so much, I could barely stand it...

Many thanks for responses, they are deeply appreciated...



I have run into the same kind of situation.
The last time it happened when I later brought it up to Him, he explained that it was a teaching moment... that I am going to screw up and if the lesson had not come from this, it would have been from something else.

We are perfectly imperfect and we are going to make mistakes.
The important thing is that we learn from them and do our best...until we have our next teaching moment.
Lather, rinse, repeat.


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RE: my first screw up :( - 11/10/2009 5:20:00 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: northernsiren
I put them in a special fabric bag all their own, and then that bag in a backpack along with my other things and thought I was doing well to be attentive of them, and He would be proud. 

A few hours later He asked me to retrieve them. I presented them to Him in the bag, thinking I would be praised for my care. 

You set up a situation where you were expecting a "See what a good girl I am!"  Instead of this, you could just take care of people's stuff because it's the right thing to do, whether they praise you for it or not.  Suppose the clamps were still in good shape.  If he hadn't said, "Good girl," would you have kicked him in the nuts and flushed the clamps down the toilet?

Maybe you were so crushed because you thought you were cut off from the praise you so desperately wanted.  I don't think you did the whole bag thing to please him; rather, you did it to please yourself, because you thought he'd give you the praise you wanted.  That said, I agree with NihilusZero that it's a lovely story.  It sounds as though he handled things well.


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Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

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Profile   Post #: 17
RE: my first screw up :( - 11/10/2009 5:28:09 PM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		Wow... I don't think I have ever had that reaction to damaging things.  If it breaks or bends that easily it is probably cheap enough to replace.  I would have said I am sorry and not just offered.. but made sure I got a replacement pair.

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Profile   Post #: 18
RE: my first screw up :( - 11/10/2009 5:38:38 PM   
candisa


Posts: 127
Joined: 1/7/2008
Status: offline 		In my humble opinion, I think you are being way to hard on yourself, it's not like you did'nt try or put in any effort in protecting the clamps. I am thinking you did not realize they would bend so easily, it is kinda rare for that to happen. Lighten up on yourself, we are all only human.
It sounds like your Sir handled it with tender emotion and a loving touch, it might not of been the praise you were seeking, but it did give you much insight as to the type of Sir you have.
Sounds like you did a good job at picking your Sir..  congrats, now just breathe and live and learn.


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respectfully,
candisa

Freely we serve, because we freely love, as in our will
To love or not; in this we stand or fall.



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RE: my first screw up :( - 11/10/2009 5:39:34 PM   
cpK69


Posts: 1593
Joined: 5/9/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: northernsiren

Do these things happen with your subs, and if so, do you try to encourage them to be less emotional about it?  How?


Emotions are based in self; more about him, less about me.

Kim

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Humility is where weakness and strength meet and humanity begins.

one voice

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