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RE: Why "daddy"? - 11/20/2009 8:04:27 PM   
TazDevil


Posts: 155
Joined: 2/24/2005
Status: offline 		it all so much word play, do's slave sub slut whore baby girl boy, Dom Master Lord Sir Daddy relay mean well anything? or they all the same thing i.e. bottom/Top or do they each have there own meaning? and frankly there or 100 other terms I could maybe come up with


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(in reply to DomImus)
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RE: Why "daddy"? - 11/20/2009 8:44:25 PM   
NuevaVida


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quote:

ORIGINAL: DomImus

quote:

ORIGINAL: allthatjaz
Actually NormalOutside I think its a perfectly reasonable question.


I saw the OP as more of a commentary thinly wrapped in a question than an actual question. Anyone who asks a question about the daddy element in bdsm or even using the name daddy and includes terms like incest and pedophile usually isn't on some great quest for enlightenment. Sometimes you just have to accpet the fact that everything that trips everyone else's triggers is not always going to make sense to you.



I actually saw it as a sincere question, and the kind and respectful way it was framed is the only reason I responded to it.  Subsequent replies, however, had me feeling differently.  No matter - my answer is what it is and the OP can accept it or not accept it.


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RE: Why "daddy"? - 11/20/2009 10:29:09 PM   
kasumi


Posts: 84
Joined: 9/11/2009
Status: offline 		I want to thank everyone for responding. I think I understand that the 'daddy' concept now. I don't think I'll be joining those of you who do use the term any time soon but I'm glad to know what it means to you.

From the explanation of a "Daddy Dom" I could say that sounds a lot like the relationship that I have with my Master except the part of changing me to be the better image he sees of me. That also seems like something a lot of more controlling 'Masters' might do and I'm sure that not all Daddies seek to change their "little girls" either. The definition provided was a sort of personal story so I'm sure there is a lot of room for variation. It might be very difficult in "the lifestyle" to really put a label on anything since things really seem to be personalized - then again, I suppose that's life. I think the author might have meant that her Daddy gives her gentle guidance in order to help her make better choices and I can relate to that since I've needed advice many times in my life - and who better to get it from than the person who knows you the most and takes dear care of you?

For anyone who was offended by anything I wrote, I apologize. I only wanted to state my point of view and find out what that of others' were. I tried to go back and edit some of what I said in my first post but I guess there is a time limit set for editing your posts? In any case, I have to admit that my fear was that everyone who did the 'daddy thing' was in it for the incest taboo. It turns out that a few are but far more have their own beautiful reasons for doing it that have nothing to do with incest or age play or anything else I might have assumed. I was obviously pretty misguided and I give my thanks to those of you who have given me patience and explained your way to me.


< Message edited by kasumi -- 11/20/2009 10:31:15 PM >

(in reply to NuevaVida)
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RE: Why "daddy"? - 11/20/2009 10:34:12 PM   
breatheasone


Posts: 4004
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Status: offline 		i thought it was a good question! i wonder if there are any on here still that remember all the awful go rounds i would have over this very issue...and i wasn't always as respectful as you either. HEY! i have NEVER hid the fact that i'm an asshole. But because of some of the kind, GENUINE, and patient people on here i learned, and began to understand, which lead to me changing my mind...which i was pleasantly surprised about. i enjoy learning...i'm just not always good at it...ask my Daddy

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RE: Why "daddy"? - 11/20/2009 10:46:47 PM   
kasumi


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quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone
 i enjoy learning...i'm just not always good at it...ask my Daddy


I think you and I might have that in common, then!

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RE: Why "daddy"? - 11/21/2009 3:33:50 AM   
subboi3382


Posts: 379
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Status: offline 		lol yea i never understood that whole "daddy" thing

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RE: Why "daddy"? - 11/21/2009 4:25:05 AM   
thishereboi


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quote:

ORIGINAL: subboi3382

lol yea i never understood that whole "daddy" thing


Yes but do you understand the whole "boi" thing?


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RE: Why "daddy"? - 11/21/2009 4:49:41 AM   
subboi3382


Posts: 379
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Status: offline 		what do u mean? i have never heard it in relation to Daddys, just as a fem boy or masculine woman
quote:

ORIGINAL: thishereboi

quote:

ORIGINAL: subboi3382

lol yea i never understood that whole "daddy" thing


Yes but do you understand the whole "boi" thing?


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RE: Why "daddy"? - 11/21/2009 8:41:58 AM   
Hierodule


Posts: 597
Joined: 9/22/2009
Status: offline 		I just want to point out that vanilla couples also use "Daddy" in a sexual (who's your Daddy? C'mon say my name) and non-sexual context. My grandparents called each other Mommy and Daddy all the time. Plus I hear Latin American families call their kids Mami and Papi pretty frequently. Its not really a kinky thing. IMO

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RE: Why "daddy"? - 12/20/2009 11:28:45 PM   
alittlegirllost


Posts: 12
Joined: 11/17/2009
Status: offline 		Wisdomtogive: "I have the same feelings about the word "daddy" in a relationship. I cannot talk for others, and seems to be many enjoy this type of relationship. Lucky for us there are Don's that don't need a 'little girl'. Even when married to late hubby, who was 15 years my senior, the thought of calling him daddy never entered my mind, thank goodness. "

"thank goodness"????? i have no problem with you not liking a Daddy/littlegirl relationship....i have no problem with there being Doms who don't need a "little girl".....but come on...thank goodness? A bit judgemental perhaps on your part. I normally do not post anything on the forums...i read to learn and see other viewpoints....and i have always so enjoyed your posts, wisdomtogive...but this one disappointed me....but i shall get over it...*grins*....i had an absolutely wonderful childhood with an extremely wonderful, loving father....the thought of him never comes to mind when i speak of a Daddy Dom....i am not a little girl, i am a woman with one of the three parts that i believe are in all women....one of the best phrases i ever saw on a profile was..."Respect the woman, Desire the slut, Cherish the little girl".......as long as people are happy and fulfilled, to each his/her own.

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RE: Why "daddy"? - 12/20/2009 11:49:56 PM   
WyldHrt


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quote:

"thank goodness"????? i have no problem with you not liking a Daddy/littlegirl relationship....i have no problem with there being Doms who don't need a "little girl".....but come on...thank goodness? A bit judgemental perhaps on your part.

I won't speak for Wisdomtogive, but I read it as her speaking from her own perspective; ie "Thank goodness he didn't want that, because I'm not into it". I often say the same to myself when I discover that someone I'm interested in isn't into something that squicks me out.

I really see nothing in her post that should get anyone's knickers in a twist.



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RE: Why "daddy"? - 12/21/2009 12:34:38 AM   
antipode


Posts: 1787
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline
quote:

its possible that I'm the one who has the issues in the end


It is just the "weirded out" bit - I might be weirded out by something somebody does around me, but not by someone else's kink I read about. I just pass by things that don't attract me, or whose attraction I don't understand.

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RE: Why "daddy"? - 12/21/2009 5:20:55 AM   
hlen5


Posts: 5890
Joined: 3/2/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: kasumi.........

I can draw the line between them from this. "Bee Puke" doesn't seem like a term of endearment to me, but I know that Honey just is supposed to imply 'sweet'. ..........

I'm looking at my toast this morning a little differently!!

Re the topic...I don't get using "Daddy", either, but feeling cared for and coddled in a loving way I definitely get. 

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RE: Why "daddy"? - 12/21/2009 4:44:29 PM   
wykkidesire2plsU


Posts: 90
Joined: 12/9/2009
Status: offline 		At first, i gravitated to the Daddy dynamic. Something about it made my tummy tickle, i think it was because i could still be flirty and a bit of a baby. i felt protected and the figure of authority monikor made submission easier for me to display. Daddy's have unconditional love, Daddy's punish, Daddy's indulge, Daddy's protect, you want to pllleassse Daddy.

Then i found out someone very very close to me was molested as a child by her father. So i thought wtf is wrong with me? How can i condone that?? i ceased immediately and felt guilty if it ever went there. But even with all that, in the throws of passion, especially any "it hurts" passion, i would sometimes substitute the name Daddy.

Leaving it alone helped me because it forced me to communicate as a submissive woman, and i rarely go there now. i still do sometimes, when feeling extra vulnerable, or sweet, or innocent or sleepy or playful. Also as i mentioned, sometimes when playing.

i thought about the molestation and do not feel guilty about it anymore, the key being consensual adult. When i do use it, he knows im in a playful or vulnerable mood and enjoys it, but neither of us do it very often. Sometimes though, it is very conforting to be His lil one.

Before i started seeing this One, i had a brief interaction with a guy who insisted on it, (and he was 8 yrs my jr, i did it sometimes with ex hubby and he is 10 yrs my jr).

At first i loved it too, but as i started feeling more and more "under" Him, i instinctively wanted to call Him Sir or M. (thank goodness he and i never got to the M part, that is another story and belongs on the "how naive newbie subs can be" thread :).

< Message edited by wykkidesire2plsU -- 12/21/2009 5:01:07 PM >

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RE: Why "daddy"? - 12/21/2009 5:10:33 PM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		this makes me wonder if anyone had issues with Marilyn Monroe referring to her fiancee as "Daddy", in Diamond's are a Girls Best Friend.

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RE: Why "daddy"? - 12/21/2009 5:12:57 PM   
GYPSYMAMBO


Posts: 660
Joined: 9/26/2009
Status: offline 		OP:
 
for me I heard it in the 50's..yep it dates me BUT..
I heard it in songs...
 
and DADDY was a term we all used for my grandfather..as HOH.
"Go ask Daddy" grandma woudl say or "Daddy said you a are to...."
 
"...and songs....I 'm your sweet lovin' Daddy" Hank Snow
and
"Singin..hay hay Mama can your Daddy come home..?" Honky Tonk man
 
I tell my subs to "Come for BIG MAMA!" and it has NOTHING TO DO WITH INCEST or mom -baby
 
IT IS THAT I RULE....
 
GM
 
 

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RE: Why "daddy"? - 12/21/2009 5:39:53 PM   
Roselaure


Posts: 672
Joined: 4/12/2008
Status: offline 		And of course, "My Heart Belongs to Daddy".  She ain't talking about her father!

While tearing off a game of golf,
I may make a play for the caddy.
But if I do, I won't follow through,
'cause my heart belongs to Daddy.


I love that song.


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RE: Why "daddy"? - 12/21/2009 6:58:52 PM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		oooo.  I was going to post that song!

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RE: Why "daddy"? - 12/22/2009 8:12:11 AM   
johndafreak


Posts: 46
Joined: 3/26/2007
Status: offline
my Daddy/boy play gives the boy a dynamic of rebellious/brat-ness and Daddy would be caring yet firm.In a setting of instruction or indoctrination. Then we would play with each others pee-pee.
Art imitating life? Nope, just another term of endearment. How many nurses are nurses, cowboys are cowboys, sluts are..well that's different.
any how Freud would be happy of the thought but Jung trumped him with the archetype and these roles are not immune to sexual titillation humans create.  What Fun!!!


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RE: Why "daddy"? - 12/22/2009 12:10:23 PM   
CelticPrince


Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline
quote:

No need to be weirded out. Some people call their owners "Lord" but they aren't implying he is their Savior.

For me, Daddy is not about my father or incestuous at all. It is a name which represents his strength, authority, nurturing and protection over me, and allows me to relate to him in that way...allowing me to be sweet, quiet, vulnerable, playful, and even weak at times. It's not a role-play for us, it's symbolic. He is also my Master, Owner and Dominant authority. But at times he looks at me quite tenderly, and this dynamic allows me to receive that in ways I have not been able to before. He enjoys taking care of me in many ways, and for the first time in my life, I can relax in the arms of a man and know I'm not alone in having to handle everything that life throws my way. We are enjoying many facets to this relationship, and Daddy/little girl is one of them.


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NV,

Very well put!

CP

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