Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

chasing the married man/woman


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> chasing the married man/woman Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
chasing the married man/woman - 11/22/2009 3:08:26 AM   
allthatjaz


Posts: 2878
Joined: 8/20/2008
Status: offline 		In light of some of the current threads on cheating ....

What interests me is, why do some women/men find themselves more attracted to a married person?
I am not talking about forming a relationship with someone to later find out that they are in a relationship but to deliberately look for a taken man/woman.
I know a woman on the scene that has gone through 3 married men. Once she has chewed at the bone and by which time they have left their wife and children, she spits them out and moves onto the next married man.
We also know a fem sub that recently had an affair with a Dominant already in a relationship. When he called it off she cried loudly 'why would he choose that ugly old bag over me?'
Steve is a very good looking guy and he has had some fairly major approaches from single women who know he is my partner.

Are they doing this because....they want what someone else has? because they think they are more attractive? or is it a rush from a chase that is far more competitive than with a single man?

_____________________________

S&M (Steve and Maria) persona libre de convencionalismos


Fan of edgeplay.co.uk
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: chasing the married man/woman - 11/22/2009 5:13:24 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		When I was younger, I once worked with a guy who was a sharp dresser and confident all the time.  He had a fight with his wife and she moved out.  In the time she was away, his clothes looked like hell and he was missing sleep.  If she had stayed away longer, he may have had fatigue due to not eating properly.

It could be that these women like well tended specimens rather than us more feral men.


_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to allthatjaz)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: chasing the married man/woman - 11/22/2009 5:24:06 AM   
rockspider


Posts: 633
Joined: 9/26/2009
Status: offline 		Well i did know of one of those once. Her actions was most peculiar, more like she had a fetish getting of on wrecking marriages. Well i never did understand the bitch up and until i delved in to the psychiatric literature and did find her under female psychopath. Not only did she wreck the marriage, but she really enjoyed trowing the errand spouse on the street when he had given everything up for her.
Another one i meet was one who seeked married men, because she didn't want emotional involvement. Sex only and married men suited her just fine as they tend to be discreet and give very litle hasle. She married a guy with booming bussiness which she did divorce after some years. Getting a sizeable divorce setlement which gave her a good living. Didn't want to give that up for emotional involvement. Security junkie with an itch to get scratched when it suited her. She happened to be one of the outlaw family who was very cloose to my ex. That is why i know her reasoning. Well i don't think she ever wrecked any marriages as that was the least she wanted. If the guy started talking love he was dismissed on the double.
There has been a great deal of studies in to the subject of cheeting. What they did find was that most married person engaging in that tend to go for someone also married. The average single prefers singles for obvious reasons. The single woman who falls for the habitual cheating married man is not so common as it is made out to be, and most who finds them self in that situation really choose to get out of it soon. The ones who don't seem to grab the attention. For the notion that it is only men who is cheating bastards it is a fact that 1 in 8 men, who are sure they are the father of their children, in that situation they do have to go for testing at the danish center for donormatching, is actually told their DNA don't match. Must be a hard message to get when you have loved that kid, maybe for 20 years, and litlle wifey has claimed total fidelity in all those years. Well one i heard of sat on a plane to Thailand a week later so he could try what sextourisme was. How the marriage proceded afterwards i don't know.

(in reply to allthatjaz)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: chasing the married man/woman - 11/22/2009 5:26:27 AM   
rockspider


Posts: 633
Joined: 9/26/2009
Status: offline 		Well Steven, when my ex moved out, the first port of call was the mens outfitters

(in reply to rockspider)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: chasing the married man/woman - 11/22/2009 5:38:37 AM   
kanina


Posts: 147
Joined: 11/19/2009
Status: offline 		i think as rockspider said is more an envolvement issue than anything else... good looking, rich and single man are also a hard to catch so i don´t think is mainly for the challange, but as everything else it depends on the person...

(in reply to rockspider)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: chasing the married man/woman - 11/22/2009 7:15:41 AM   
pompeii


Posts: 934
Joined: 1/4/2007
From: Silicon Valley, San Jose, California
Status: offline 		How is a married man any different than an unmarried man to a woman in bed?

(in reply to kanina)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: chasing the married man/woman - 11/22/2009 7:33:09 AM   
Wolf2Bear


Posts: 3204
Joined: 9/6/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: allthatjaz

In light of some of the current threads on cheating ....

What interests me is, why do some women/men find themselves more attracted to a married person?
I am not talking about forming a relationship with someone to later find out that they are in a relationship but to deliberately look for a taken man/woman.



It is the lure and the challenge of going after a person who is committed to another.


_____________________________

~Resident Sadist Approved~

Take the pain
Take the pleasure
I'm the master of both
Close your eyes, not your mind
Let me into your soul
I'm gonna work it 'til your totally blown

(in reply to allthatjaz)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: chasing the married man/woman - 11/22/2009 7:40:41 AM   
GoddessImaginos


Posts: 1493
Joined: 8/5/2009
From: A small blue planet near Alpha Centauri
Status: offline 		My personal opinion is that the chasing of married or otherwise spoken-for persons without the knowledge and consent of their spouse/primary partner, who are not living in separation, is reprehensible (sp?), unscrupulous, stupid, lame, a beating offense and just an all-around bad plan.
I have been the other Woman in My youth and I am not proud of it, but I have long since forgiven Myself and been glad it went no farther than it did, with little harm done except to My own sense of personal honor.
I do not share but My Husband does. I welcome no other females to be the other woman in My current equation, and hate it for them if they're pitiful enough to try. This may sound one-sided but quite frankly, seeking for Me was My Husband's idea, not Mine, and is as much to fulfill His fantasies about sharing His Wife as anything else; personally I would be just as happy to be fully monogamous, sans the inherent BS.
Remember that these are My opinions only.

_____________________________

Delicious and nutritious, does NOT taste like canoli.
~member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's/Mouthy Wenches having been ModSpanked
~10 fluffy points
~RJD RIP xoxo

(in reply to pompeii)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: chasing the married man/woman - 11/22/2009 7:50:53 AM   
NyDaddysGirl


Posts: 75
Joined: 11/23/2006
Status: offline 		I've been in several discussions with friends and family about this very concept and below are a few reasons that came up.

1)  Fear of committment.  As long as they stay in a relationship, there's no chance you'll have to commit.
2)  Insecurity.  If you can win the spouse, that boosts your self esteem, which explains the get rid of them once they leave their family.
3)  Set in your ways.  If you are so set in your ways, live independently and like it that way, it's a way to get your physical needs met while not having to compromise your home and life style.
4)  All the good ones are taken.
5)  It's a way to enjoy the good without having to deal with the bad.

I am not defending it, just providing possible reasons that have come up in past conversations.  (Call me selfish, but I don't like to share.)

_____________________________

I have no fear of falling, I just hate hitting the ground ~ Badlees

(in reply to GoddessImaginos)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: chasing the married man/woman - 11/22/2009 8:28:51 AM   
Elisabella


Posts: 3939
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: pompeii

How is a married man any different than an unmarried man to a woman in bed?


The unmarried man can spend the weekend in bed with you.

(in reply to pompeii)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: chasing the married man/woman - 11/22/2009 8:31:14 AM   
GoddessImaginos


Posts: 1493
Joined: 8/5/2009
From: A small blue planet near Alpha Centauri
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Elisabella


quote:

ORIGINAL: pompeii

How is a married man any different than an unmarried man to a woman in bed?


The unmarried man can spend the weekend in bed with you.


Good point!

_____________________________

Delicious and nutritious, does NOT taste like canoli.
~member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's/Mouthy Wenches having been ModSpanked
~10 fluffy points
~RJD RIP xoxo

(in reply to Elisabella)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: chasing the married man/woman - 11/22/2009 8:39:01 AM   
wisdomtogive


Posts: 636
Joined: 11/13/2009
Status: offline 		Why they chase I do not know, all I know is of what I hear on a daily bases from clients. What I hear is not of joy or happiness, but of heartbreak and the forever waiting to hear from him. The empty holidays, empty bed, and so many tears. Sometimes one has to wonder, for those who continue to chase only married or committed men, if they love the pain of being neglected over the joy of sharing a life with one?

_____________________________

Happily owned by MstrDark1

(in reply to allthatjaz)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: chasing the married man/woman - 11/22/2009 8:41:22 AM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		He is more desperate for approval?
quote:

ORIGINAL: pompeii

How is a married man any different than an unmarried man to a woman in bed?


(in reply to pompeii)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: chasing the married man/woman - 11/22/2009 8:41:37 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Someone who is happy in a relationship radiates happiness and contentedness. Most people prefer to spend their time with someone who is happy. The assumption is that if they can be substituted for the existing spouse, they too will be de facto in a good relationship with a happy person and themselves be happy. Of course it doesn't work that way.

The person who wants to be a substitute doesn't realize the existing partner has relationship skills which are part of why the other person is happy. And that no matter how many times she or he insinuates themselves into such a position, they still won't be able to make it work.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to GoddessImaginos)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: chasing the married man/woman - 11/22/2009 9:07:29 AM   
ranja


Posts: 2111
Joined: 11/1/2007
Status: offline 		In my case:
I do not purposely look for men... they find me and they decide if i can entertain them for a while...
I am married myself and i have no intention to leave my Husband... i feel it is somewhat unfair to string along a single guy... who should be free on the market for unattached females... i have no more to offer.

Of course i only do cyber so i never really even know if the guy is indeed a guy let alone if he is married or not and if his game is above board with his spouse.
i do not really care too deeply about such issues either... i am here for a bit of sexy fun thas all.

(in reply to allthatjaz)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: chasing the married man/woman - 11/22/2009 9:49:45 AM   
allthatjaz


Posts: 2878
Joined: 8/20/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: pompeii

How is a married man any different than an unmarried man to a woman in bed?

That would depend on what was going on in their heads.
I'm not so sure how I feel about this. If it was just for platonic sexual gratification, then provided they use protection (at least protect their spouse from diseases) then although its still adultery it doesn't seem as bad as a woman who continually chases that married man for an affair that could be something else including the eventual split of a marriage.

_____________________________

S&M (Steve and Maria) persona libre de convencionalismos


Fan of edgeplay.co.uk

(in reply to pompeii)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: chasing the married man/woman - 11/22/2009 9:55:52 AM   
allthatjaz


Posts: 2878
Joined: 8/20/2008
Status: offline 		I will add to that, that I don't have time for people that complain about their married lover not having time for them.
I can remember sitting in a friends kitchen whilst she complained bitterly that her lovers wife was a 'bitch' because she had insisted on coming with him for a Saturday night out and that this was 'her' night with him and not the wifes.


_____________________________

S&M (Steve and Maria) persona libre de convencionalismos


Fan of edgeplay.co.uk

(in reply to allthatjaz)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: chasing the married man/woman - 11/22/2009 10:20:13 AM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		There seems to be an awful lot of assumption that the chaser has really thought things through.  What I have seen falls more into the realm of being in denial... knowing that he is smart and interesting and funny and attractive... and conveniently ignoring the fact that he is unavailable and/or not having the self-control to walk away from him.



Cali


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to allthatjaz)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: chasing the married man/woman - 11/22/2009 11:39:01 AM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline 		mmmmmmm where are all these women chasing attached men? Damn... I am missing out!!!!!!

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to allthatjaz)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: chasing the married man/woman - 11/22/2009 1:25:26 PM   
maugseros


Posts: 44
Joined: 11/15/2009
Status: offline 		There are a lot of theories.. but no definitive answers.

I've noticed a lot that a man will meet a woman that he really likes but she is either married/involved and he will say "I want a woman 'like' that".  Whereas a woman will meet a man she really likes who is married/involved and say "I want 'THAT' man".

I believe that there is a inherent competitivness in a lot of women when it comes to who there mate is.  And there is almost something along of the lines of the guy sort of being "pre-selected" by another woman.  As if him already being involved with another woman says "Yes.. he's a catch and he's mine".  

And especially if a man happens to be involved with a VERY attractive woman.. his desirablity to other women seems to skyrocket.

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> chasing the married man/woman Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.079