1. Do you feel there is a difference between the two relationships? Why or why not?
2. If so, do you feel that, perhaps, we all enter into agreement-based relationships in the beginning of our exploration and look more to the obedience relationships later?

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ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam

1. If so, do you feel that, perhaps, we all enter into agreement-based relationships in the beginning of our exploration and look more to the obedience relationships later?

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ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam

We can't remember when We last started a thread! In the discussion about opinions LadyPact posted, this topic came to Our mind. First, some definitions:

An agreement relationship contains a power exchange in which the Master/Dom and slave/sub have come to an agreement about how the relationship is run. There is usually some kind of detailed contract, either written or verbal, and often frequent negotiation or renegotiation of said contract. Fulfillment, here, is gained through the mutual agreement about the "rules", so to speak and the exchange of "I will do this if you will do that." The Master/Dom wants a specific thing and talks to the sub/slave about their agreement, or not, to do said thing.

An obedience based relationship is one where the sub/slave has only on choice: to obey or not and there is a transfer of authority from the sub/slave to the Master/Dom. Obedience, rather than negotiation, is the basis of the relationship and the vehicle that brings the most fulfillment to the two or more in the dynamic; the Master/Dom gives the orders and it is the job of the sub/slave to obey. There are understandings about what is needed to maintain a healthy mindset for both, but, for the most part, the Master is free to do as they wish.

For both kinds of relationships, it takes time to develop the trust and such needed to make them a success. They are, usually, not "overnight" or "get collared quick" relationships. Also, there is a clear understanding of each about their own psychological boundaries and, should those boundaries be crossed, the relationship could end.

The points of discussion are:

1. Do you feel there is a difference between the two relationships? Why or why not?
2. If so, do you feel that, perhaps, we all enter into agreement-based relationships in the beginning of our exploration and look more to the obedience relationships later?

Master Fire

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam

We can't remember when We last started a thread! In the discussion about opinions LadyPact posted, this topic came to Our mind. First, some definitions:

An agreement relationship contains a power exchange in which the Master/Dom and slave/sub have come to an agreement about how the relationship is run. There is usually some kind of detailed contract, either written or verbal, and often frequent negotiation or renegotiation of said contract. Fulfillment, here, is gained through the mutual agreement about the "rules", so to speak and the exchange of "I will do this if you will do that." The Master/Dom wants a specific thing and talks to the sub/slave about their agreement, or not, to do said thing.

An obedience based relationship is one where the sub/slave has only on choice: to obey or not and there is a transfer of authority from the sub/slave to the Master/Dom. Obedience, rather than negotiation, is the basis of the relationship and the vehicle that brings the most fulfillment to the two or more in the dynamic; the Master/Dom gives the orders and it is the job of the sub/slave to obey. There are understandings about what is needed to maintain a healthy mindset for both, but, for the most part, the Master is free to do as they wish.

For both kinds of relationships, it takes time to develop the trust and such needed to make them a success. They are, usually, not "overnight" or "get collared quick" relationships. Also, there is a clear understanding of each about their own psychological boundaries and, should those boundaries be crossed, the relationship could end.

The points of discussion are:

1. Do you feel there is a difference between the two relationships? Why or why not?
2. If so, do you feel that, perhaps, we all enter into agreement-based relationships in the beginning of our exploration and look more to the obedience relationships later?

Master Fire

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam

We can't remember when We last started a thread! In the discussion about opinions LadyPact posted, this topic came to Our mind. First, some definitions:

An agreement relationship contains a power exchange in which the Master/Dom and slave/sub have come to an agreement about how the relationship is run. There is usually some kind of detailed contract, either written or verbal, and often frequent negotiation or renegotiation of said contract. Fulfillment, here, is gained through the mutual agreement about the "rules", so to speak and the exchange of "I will do this if you will do that." The Master/Dom wants a specific thing and talks to the sub/slave about their agreement, or not, to do said thing.

An obedience based relationship is one where the sub/slave has only on choice: to obey or not and there is a transfer of authority from the sub/slave to the Master/Dom. Obedience, rather than negotiation, is the basis of the relationship and the vehicle that brings the most fulfillment to the two or more in the dynamic; the Master/Dom gives the orders and it is the job of the sub/slave to obey. There are understandings about what is needed to maintain a healthy mindset for both, but, for the most part, the Master is free to do as they wish.

For both kinds of relationships, it takes time to develop the trust and such needed to make them a success. They are, usually, not "overnight" or "get collared quick" relationships. Also, there is a clear understanding of each about their own psychological boundaries and, should those boundaries be crossed, the relationship could end.

The points of discussion are:

1. Do you feel there is a difference between the two relationships? Why or why not?
2. If so, do you feel that, perhaps, we all enter into agreement-based relationships in the beginning of our exploration and look more to the obedience relationships later?

Master Fire

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Do you feel there is a difference between the two relationships? Why or why not?

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"I will do this if you will do that."

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If so, do you feel that, perhaps, we all enter into agreement-based relationships in the beginning of our exploration and look more to the obedience relationships later?

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The description of your agreement relationship leaves me feeling very cold and unfulfilled. I would see the obedience type relationship feels more like a relationship, not simply and agreement simply to perform certain things.

When I enter a relationship, it is for life, not a specific period of time and as such there will be adjustments that we will work through

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ORIGINAL: Elisabella

I would never get into an obedience-based relationship because every time something bothered me I'd have to ask myself "is this worth breaking up over" rather than attempting to reach a compromise.

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ORIGINAL: LadyPact

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ORIGINAL: Elisabella

I would never get into an obedience-based relationship because every time something bothered me I'd have to ask myself "is this worth breaking up over" rather than attempting to reach a compromise.

Forgive Me for speaking My piece here, but is that what you really think it is?  An obedience based dynamic isn't an all or nothing proposition.  It doesn't mean that people never grow, never change, never have new wants or want to turn away from past wants that no longer suit them. Obedience is not automatically resigning oneself to becoming stagnant.  Instead, some, like Me, see it as a cornerstone, on which other things can be built.

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I either obey and do as I'm told, take what I'm given or leave.

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ORIGINAL: LadyPact

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ORIGINAL: Elisabella

I would never get into an obedience-based relationship because every time something bothered me I'd have to ask myself "is this worth breaking up over" rather than attempting to reach a compromise.

Forgive Me for speaking My piece here, but is that what you really think it is?  An obedience based dynamic isn't an all or nothing proposition.  It doesn't mean that people never grow, never change, never have new wants or want to turn away from past wants that no longer suit them. Obedience is not automatically resigning oneself to becoming stagnant.  Instead, some, like Me, see it as a cornerstone, on which other things can be built.

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ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

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ORIGINAL: LadyPact

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ORIGINAL: Elisabella

I would never get into an obedience-based relationship because every time something bothered me I'd have to ask myself "is this worth breaking up over" rather than attempting to reach a compromise.

Forgive Me for speaking My piece here, but is that what you really think it is?  An obedience based dynamic isn't an all or nothing proposition.  It doesn't mean that people never grow, never change, never have new wants or want to turn away from past wants that no longer suit them. Obedience is not automatically resigning oneself to becoming stagnant.  Instead, some, like Me, see it as a cornerstone, on which other things can be built.

I agree. Just because he tells me or expects me to do something doesn't mean I can't express an opinion or an option that he may not have thought of. I tell him things that I would like to try or do all of the time. I also tell him things that I don't want to try or do. He has the final say, but he always listens to my thoughts and desires.

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ORIGINAL: Elisabella
Right but I guess what I'm saying is do you have the ability to say "No, I won't do that" as a declarative statement with no further discussion, and not have that end the relationship or feel like 'topping from the bottom'?

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Right but I guess what I'm saying is do you have the ability to say "No, I won't do that" as a declarative statement with no further discussion, and not have that end the relationship or feel like 'topping from the bottom'?