Any way to deprogram myself so I am not into BSDM? (Full Version)

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dumbmonkey -> Any way to deprogram myself so I am not into BSDM? (11/22/2009 8:30:17 PM)

I don't want to be into, and it's not something I'd tell anyone I know. 



littlewonder -> RE: Any way to deprogram myself so I am not into BSDM? (11/22/2009 8:34:39 PM)

so stop doing it and do what you want to do.

life is full of choices.



Hierodule -> RE: Any way to deprogram myself so I am not into BSDM? (11/22/2009 8:35:32 PM)

wha???? IDK  maybe find someone to beat it out of you. like this....[sm=crop.gif] Bad joke sorry. Seriously though man I can't relate. Sorry.



sweetsub1957 -> RE: Any way to deprogram myself so I am not into BSDM? (11/22/2009 8:47:00 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: dumbmonkey

I don't want to be into, and it's not something I'd tell anyone I know. 


Oh wow.  I just can't relate to that.  Doesn't someone have to brainwash you first for you to be de-programmed?  lol  Maybe you're just new to it and still getting used to the idea that you like different things.  It's okay, it REALLY is!



LadyAngelika -> RE: Any way to deprogram myself so I am not into BSDM? (11/22/2009 8:48:54 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: dumbmonkey
I don't want to be into, and it's not something I'd tell anyone I know. 


Do you know why you don't want to be into it any more?
Do you know why you are having a hard time stopping?

More info *might* permit us to give you advice.

- LA



Llyren -> RE: Any way to deprogram myself so I am not into BSDM? (11/22/2009 9:32:42 PM)

I tried for a very long time to not want to be submissive, and to not be aroused by D/s.  Never managed it for an instant.  It might not be like this for others, but for me it is an intrinsic part of my sexual identity, and I'll never be fully myself till I accept it and express it.



porcelain20 -> RE: Any way to deprogram myself so I am not into BSDM? (11/22/2009 9:35:44 PM)

just keep having boring vanilla sex



LadyAngelika -> RE: Any way to deprogram myself so I am not into BSDM? (11/22/2009 9:43:47 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: porcelain20

just keep having boring vanilla sex

Why on earth would you write something like this? Do you get off on mocking others in turmoil? Not an attractive quality.

- LA



WyldHrt -> RE: Any way to deprogram myself so I am not into BSDM? (11/22/2009 10:04:31 PM)

quote:

I don't want to be into, and it's not something I'd tell anyone I know.

I'm afraid we need more info if we are to give constructive advice. Is BDSM something you've experienced in real life, or is it just that the idea of BDSM excites you but you don't want it to? It sounds like you may be ashamed of your interest in BDSM because you are worried about what other people will think of you. Am I in the ballpark?



jj292 -> RE: Any way to deprogram myself so I am not into BSDM? (11/22/2009 11:23:03 PM)

This is an extremely complicated question. I'm not so sure anyone here can really give you an answer you are looking for. Why a person would be into BDSM can vary from individual to individual. Some would say it has to do with classical conditioning. Like for example if you associate a certain type of pain with a certain type of pleasure enough times, pretty soon the pain leads to pleasure. But its obviously much more complex than this. It may have to do with fulfilling psychological needs. It could have to do with personality. It could even be part of sexuality, orientation, and identity. I'm not so sure it is possible to "deprogram" yourself from it. We really do not control what or who arouses us sexually.

If it is something that is bothering you in some way for whatever reason...the only advice I can give is that you just avoid it. Perhaps the arrousal will eventually decay over time.



Tinkerer -> RE: Any way to deprogram myself so I am not into BSDM? (11/23/2009 12:01:12 AM)

I'v tried to remove this part of me several times. I wish you luck, because (at least for me) it's firmly attached. The most luck I'v ever had is to displace it with something else, a hobby I'm deeply passionate about, like canoe building or metal work.



beltainefaerie -> RE: Any way to deprogram myself so I am not into BSDM? (11/23/2009 12:41:59 AM)

I'm not sure why you want to, but why is important to the question.  Do you enjoy BDSM in real life or fantasy?  Is it interfereing with your life?  If so, how?  Have you found an abusive rather than BDSM relationship?  BDSM should be willing.  If it is random or forced I would seek help.   If you experienced some past trauma that BDSM is bringing up for you, I would strongly suggest some sort of kink-friendly therapist who can help you work out your issues, which might bring you to a kind of peace with your desires for BDSM rather than turn you away from something you enjoy.  



Elipsis -> RE: Any way to deprogram myself so I am not into BSDM? (11/23/2009 1:01:32 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: dumbmonkey

I don't want to be into, and it's not something I'd tell anyone I know. 


Fantastic.  I don't want to be into companionship.  In fact I'd actually like to entirely eliminate my desire to connect with other people so that I could operate completely free from the burdens of the possibility of negative emotions.  We could also replace my heart with a block of ice in order for me to easily produce cold drinks without reducing the liquid volume stored inside the container.

Back here on planet earth I've got to wonder why you would even feel the need to hide it?  I think it would be several orders of magnitude easier to become comfortable with your deviances than it would be to extract your innate desires.

Given my personal experience with other, even more impossible, internal struggles... I've got to ask "Why?" and simultaneously warn you not to go down that road.



LadyPact -> RE: Any way to deprogram myself so I am not into BSDM? (11/23/2009 1:23:28 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: dumbmonkey

I don't want to be into, and it's not something I'd tell anyone I know. 

Going on this statement and the thread title alone, I'm going to say that no you can't.  I would say the same thing if you were gay and wanted to be deprogrammed so that you would be straight.  In My opinion, it's not a nature vrs nurture discussion.  I'm of the mind that some of us are just wired differently.

Truth be told, that doesn't mean that you are compelled to take any action on your interests.  To use the same parallel, there are some gay males out there who have married women.  How successful that has been varies, but it does show that it is possible to live your life in a different way than you are inclined.  I'm not encouraging that.  Just stating that I believe it is possible.

As a Dominant woman, I can tell you that I have lived a vanilla life at times.  I have also been able to have monogamous relationships even though I seem to have a greater disposition for poly.  In My case, I know that I can, I just choose not to.

Only you can decide if you are ever going to act out any of your desires regarding BDSM or fulfill your yearnings for Dominance or submission.  What I will say is that if you are ashamed or repulsed for having them, you may want to dig a little deeper to find out why you feel that way. 



needs2beused -> RE: Any way to deprogram myself so I am not into BSDM? (11/23/2009 5:42:50 AM)

I think many of us have struggled with admitting and accepting who we are on many levels.  This is something you have to decide for yourself.   Only you have to be happy with your life and only you can make you happy!  Best of luck and I truly wish you the best in your self discovery



sirsholly -> RE: Any way to deprogram myself so I am not into BSDM? (11/23/2009 5:51:06 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: dumbmonkey

I don't want to be into, and it's not something I'd tell anyone I know. 
good luck with this.

Can you deprogram yourself from being a hetero/homo/bisexual?

Can you deprogram you hair/eye/skin color?

No...you really can't. The most you can hope for is deep denial...but denial has a way of biting you in the butt.

My suggestion? Embrace who and what you are.



kanina -> RE: Any way to deprogram myself so I am not into BSDM? (11/23/2009 5:55:29 AM)

well i also can choose if i want to be in a D/s or vanilla and i choose D/s, and i'm very happy with it..

from what i heard form people wanting to leave BDSM was not because they didn´t like it but because they couldn´t find a partner...  and they eventually go in and out...



DarkSteven -> RE: Any way to deprogram myself so I am not into BSDM? (11/23/2009 6:01:59 AM)

I just checked your profile.  Does MistressHolly know you desire this?  If so, have her do it with you.

Geez, that has to be one of the weirdest things I've ever posted here...



jonnyringpiece -> RE: Any way to deprogram myself so I am not into BSDM? (11/23/2009 11:24:56 AM)

'I don't want to be into, and it's not something I'd tell anyone I know' 


LoL.. know how you feel!
it can compromise you can't it?
make you associate with people/do stuff  you'd rather not.
its like your shadow though, so you can't get rid...
if you try to bury the bastard, it'll pop up behind you and bite you on the bum.
best thing to do is to accept the cravings are there, and somehow manage it in a way that will do least harm (psychologically, to to that side of your mind-personality that rejects it & physically, to your mortal body).
in this case, self-knowledge is power.
jrp



BeastPriest -> RE: Any way to deprogram myself so I am not into BSDM? (11/23/2009 11:54:51 AM)

A hear that a full lobotomy helps get rid of unwanted desires and thoughts. Seriously though if you don't want to do it don't do it and remove temptations from your life. 



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