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list of hard limits - 11/23/2009 6:26:45 AM   
lapgirl


Posts: 116
Joined: 1/5/2006
Status: offline 		just curious as to some of the things people have on their list of hard limits? i am sure there are so many more "no's" for me that i may not have thought about. i want to be able to submit my list and never worry that i should have added something additional.... so, what is a hard limit for you?
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RE: list of hard limits - 11/23/2009 6:31:04 AM   
silvermuse


Posts: 259
Joined: 6/8/2007
Status: offline 		Amongst other things, needleplay and wax play.

The first is a sheer terror situation, I can't even get blood drawn without someone there all but holding me down and I panic, badly, over it.
The second, I have an extreme allergic reaction to wax hitting my skin. Blisters, and it's not a temp thing, we've tried different types of wax, in tiny amounts, and the reaction is always the same.

muse

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(in reply to lapgirl)
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RE: list of hard limits - 11/23/2009 6:34:14 AM   
NYLass


Posts: 409
Joined: 12/30/2008
Status: offline 		I have them listed right in my profile:

My limits are set:
-No loss of life or limb.  Any of my body parts will remain attached without needing sutures to replace them.
-No children or incest. This includes a daddydom/lilgirl, mom/son role play or any mention of relatives, or friends of said relatives-ever.
-No animals. This is inclusive of bestiality or puppy/pony or any kind of pet,animal role play.
-No humiliation or degradation or objectification.  You can get a better reaction from asking nicely than calling me disgusting names.
-No obedience training, discipline, caging, serving, kneeling or begging.  These may work for animals, not me.  See section referencing no animals...

I don't play casually and I won't sleep around.  I will not get involved with a married man or anyone involved with someone else.  




< Message edited by NYLass -- 11/23/2009 6:35:09 AM >

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RE: list of hard limits - 11/23/2009 6:34:15 AM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

...so, what is a hard limit for you?...


making lists of hard limits.
 
this slave leaves that up to the one calling the shots - Master.

(in reply to lapgirl)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: list of hard limits - 11/23/2009 6:35:46 AM   
MakeMeSmile4U


Posts: 710
Joined: 4/27/2008
From: South Florida
Status: offline 		Hi Lapgirl,

Just a suggestion:  You need to think of your list of hard limits as a living thing.  It will grow, change, evolve, even shrink.  It's a work in progress. 

When I first started out my list was a mile long!  Then I learned that as trust grows within a D/s relationship Hard limits become Soft limits, and Soft limits begin to dissipate.

I do have a short list of non-negotiable limits which includes children, scat-play, vomit...
However, my original list of hard limits included watersports and breathplay, and those are no longer on my list....

If my current relationship were to end, then my list of Hard Limits would start over again.

Does that make any sense?

Good luck with your list

~Smiles

_____________________________

"And of course you can't become if you only say what you would have done, so I missed a million miles of fun"~Len

"Do all those things that you do to me, ya know what I mean boy... Do all those things that you do to me, yeah.." ~The Cult

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RE: list of hard limits - 11/23/2009 6:38:54 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		I'd add breathplay and fireplay to the above.  And blood.

You may want to consider whipping at first.  Too many ways to cause injury if not done right.  As you get to know others, you'll know who can do it safely.


_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

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RE: list of hard limits - 11/23/2009 6:39:29 AM   
kanina


Posts: 147
Joined: 11/19/2009
Status: offline 		well, no bestiality, no children..

I'm in to RACK, and i do trust my Owner of curse...

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
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RE: list of hard limits - 11/23/2009 6:48:00 AM   
chiaThePet


Posts: 2694
Joined: 2/4/2007
Status: offline
Crying because Oprah is ending her show.

chia* (the pet)


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You can stick me in the corner, but I'll probably just end up coloring on the walls.

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RE: list of hard limits - 11/23/2009 7:09:53 AM   
Lucienne


Posts: 1175
Joined: 9/5/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lapgirl
i want to be able to submit my list and never worry that i should have added something additional....


I'm confused. Who are you submitting the list to and why wouldn't you be able to add to the list if you later discover some kink that should be on it?

(in reply to lapgirl)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: list of hard limits - 11/23/2009 8:53:57 AM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline 		My list,

Blood, needle play, breath play, watersports, children, being shared with others, animals , objectification, humiliaton are no way EVER. My soft limits i expect to b pushed my hard limits are set in stone.

Matt's litleone

(in reply to Lucienne)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: list of hard limits - 11/23/2009 9:00:31 AM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		I have one set hard limit. I do not play with another female. I have other limits, those which to me are no brainers.. that people may list as limits but I tend to view them as things that would never be on the table. Hmmm... I guess that means among my limits I have, choose to play only with people who are sane.

Any other limit that involves physical stuff are not so much MY limits, as they are the limits I have set for people I don't know well.

(in reply to lapgirl)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: list of hard limits - 11/23/2009 9:11:31 AM   
HisSweetElysium


Posts: 600
Joined: 11/12/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MakeMeSmile4U
Just a suggestion:  You need to think of your list of hard limits as a living thing.  It will grow, change, evolve, even shrink.  It's a work in progress...

If my current relationship were to end, then my list of Hard Limits would start over again.

~Smiles


Agreed wholeheartedly, I was just discussing this with Master this weekend.  I also can't imagine a situation where I set something like that in stone, forgot something, or even changed my mind in the course of exchange and protested genuinely and had Master say "ha, too bad, you didn't say"  He loves me, cares for me, and loathes genuine distress in me.  If something came up that He genuinely wanted that made me that uncomfortable, we would talk about it, try it, talk about it some more, etc.  until I felt ok or until He knew that I tried my best.

I did tell Him at the outset of my one particular limit.  I have about 30K worth of top quality tattoo art on my body. Something as minor as a cat scratch can permanently mar my beautiful art.  I told Him that was off the table, damaging my artwork.  As a point of negotiation on this, I agreed to finish only the work I already have, and not add any more coverage, especially my ass ;)


_____________________________

“This is love: to fly toward a secret sky, to cause a hundred veils to fall each moment. First to let go of life. Finally, to take a step without feet.” Rumi

(in reply to MakeMeSmile4U)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: list of hard limits - 11/23/2009 9:30:08 AM   
LPslittleclip


Posts: 1163
Joined: 9/29/2007
Status: offline 		i did not have much on my list to start with as i had little experince. now i have 2 scat for sanitary reasons. and bull whips due to my ptsd from multiple deployments sounds like a gun shot. needles were on my list as a nurse i had a thing on needle sticks but now i enjoy needle play. when you see a activity discuss it with your partner and go from there

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LadyPact

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Profile   Post #: 13
RE: list of hard limits - 11/23/2009 10:23:46 AM   
afterforever


Posts: 315
Joined: 6/12/2008
From: Belfast, NI
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MakeMeSmile4U

Hi Lapgirl,

Just a suggestion:  You need to think of your list of hard limits as a living thing.  It will grow, change, evolve, even shrink.  It's a work in progress. 

When I first started out my list was a mile long!  Then I learned that as trust grows within a D/s relationship Hard limits become Soft limits, and Soft limits begin to dissipate.

I do have a short list of non-negotiable limits which includes children, scat-play, vomit...
However, my original list of hard limits included watersports and breathplay, and those are no longer on my list....

If my current relationship were to end, then my list of Hard Limits would start over again.

Does that make any sense?

Good luck with your list

~Smiles


This. In my past relationship, I started off saying no to watersports, breath play, blood, loads of play-related stuff. By the end I was down to scat, children, and anything that would compromise my work.

(in reply to MakeMeSmile4U)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: list of hard limits - 11/23/2009 10:34:27 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline 		We don't dig the whole limits list thing.

My one suggestion is use common sense.  I don't get the whole 'I don't do sex with kids, animals or dead people' jive.  That's just common sense for crying out loud and if you get a person suggesting such - then call the bloody police, don't just say 'Oh sorry - hard limit'.

the.dark.

_____________________________
RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

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Profile   Post #: 15
RE: list of hard limits - 11/23/2009 10:41:48 AM   
dragonseeker


Posts: 554
Status: offline 		No marks in an area where it can not be covered up by clothing.
No loss of life or limb.
No loss of hair on my head. (just don't do baldness very well)
No scat play.
No bestiality or children.
No illegal activity or anything that will get me arrested.
Nothing that will endanger my child, the custody of my child, or my ability to take care of my child.

(in reply to LPslittleclip)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: list of hard limits - 11/23/2009 10:56:55 AM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline 		I don't have a list of limits.  We've never even discussed limits in regard to *us*. If I'd produced a list of limits he'd have chuckled and said * Think again* and to be frank, he'd never have accepted me if I came with a list of *don't do's*, because I wouldn't have had a compatible outlook.

agirl

(in reply to lapgirl)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: list of hard limits - 11/23/2009 11:04:22 AM   
AnimusRex


Posts: 2165
Joined: 5/13/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: agirl

I don't have a list of limits.  We've never even discussed limits in regard to *us*. If I'd produced a list of limits he'd have chuckled and said * Think again* and to be frank, he'd never have accepted me if I came with a list of *don't do's*, because I wouldn't have had a compatible outlook.
agirl




Exactly. She gave herself to me precisely because I know her well enough to be trusted with what is good for her.

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Profile   Post #: 18
RE: list of hard limits - 11/23/2009 11:26:13 AM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AnimusRex


quote:

ORIGINAL: agirl

I don't have a list of limits.  We've never even discussed limits in regard to *us*. If I'd produced a list of limits he'd have chuckled and said * Think again* and to be frank, he'd never have accepted me if I came with a list of *don't do's*, because I wouldn't have had a compatible outlook.
agirl




Exactly. She gave herself to me precisely because I know her well enough to be trusted with what is good for her.


I really wouldn't be *owned* by anyone for whom I'd have to stipulate what they could or couldn't do. Why on earth would I have asked him to have me if I thought for one possible moment that he would stride off down the route of causing me the most possible upset and harm.

agirl



(in reply to AnimusRex)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: list of hard limits - 11/23/2009 1:51:36 PM   
dreamerdreaming


Posts: 2839
Status: offline 		Most of mine are listed on my profile. A couple that aren't listed there: mindfucks, and unsafe sex.

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Profile   Post #: 20
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