Is there a difference between being a submissive and a slave (Full Version)

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QueenPenelope -> Is there a difference between being a submissive and a slave (11/25/2009 11:41:59 PM)

To me it seems that a submissive has limits and will not do or tolerate certain things. But a slave will not have any limits and will tolerate anything. Is that true and can someone elaborate more on the differences between the two for me?
-Queen Penelope 



GreedyTop -> RE: Is there a difference between being a submissive and a slave (11/26/2009 12:06:55 AM)

oooooops...SO wrong thread...



Drifa -> RE: Is there a difference between being a submissive and a slave (11/26/2009 12:14:41 AM)

The name is irrelevant. You and your sub should sit down and carefully discuss your expectations of one another, what you want and do not want, and define hard limits, safewords, and so on.

Once you each completely are understanding one another's needs and desires and limits, then you can call the resulting relationship "Rumcake" if you wish. It's the actions that matter, not the label.



littlewonder -> RE: Is there a difference between being a submissive and a slave (11/26/2009 6:05:35 AM)

For me yes there is a difference.

A slave= you consent once. After that it's either do or leave.
A sub=you consent each and every time. You have a choice in what happens to you.



AquaticSub -> RE: Is there a difference between being a submissive and a slave (11/26/2009 6:46:40 AM)

~Fast Reply~

If there is a difference or not depends entirely on who you talk to. If you think there is a difference, I'd just focus on making sure potential partners know your feelings on the matter and leaving it at that.



Lucienne -> RE: Is there a difference between being a submissive and a slave (11/26/2009 7:31:23 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Drifa

The name is irrelevant. You and your sub should sit down and carefully discuss your expectations of one another, what you want and do not want, and define hard limits, safewords, and so on.

Once you each completely are understanding one another's needs and desires and limits, then you can call the resulting relationship "Rumcake" if you wish. It's the actions that matter, not the label.



I love this answer. And the thought of being someone's "Rumcake" just makes me smile. MMMM.... rumcake.



LPslittleclip -> RE: Is there a difference between being a submissive and a slave (11/26/2009 7:39:24 AM)

for me and the dynamic im in it is a measure of trust with the one that you are partnered to. as a botttom i had to develop trust with the top i played with.as a sub i had more trust in the relationship but not developed the level of trust with my Mistress that i have now as a slave. this is how it is in my dynamic it works for U/us



lucylucy -> RE: Is there a difference between being a submissive and a slave (11/26/2009 9:40:18 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Drifa

The name is irrelevant. You and your sub should sit down and carefully discuss your expectations of one another, what you want and do not want, and define hard limits, safewords, and so on.

Once you each completely are understanding one another's needs and desires and limits, then you can call the resulting relationship "Rumcake" if you wish. It's the actions that matter, not the label.



I completely agree with what Drifa said. I identify as a submissive, but I don’t have a safeword and my limits are determined by my boyfriend. He calls me his girlfriend or his slut, depending on whether he’s talking to just me or other people.

I will do or tolerate anything my boyfriend wants. I wouldn’t even consider refusing to do something my boyfriend told me to do. I might ask questions to better understand what he wanted me to do or why, but I wouldn’t refuse—in part because I trust him to not ask me to do anything insane, illegal, unethical, or dangerous.

I don’t personally have a definition for slave. I identify as submissive because that’s what I do: I submit. (But only to my boyfriend—one of my pet peeves is when people mistakenly think that a submissive submits to ANYONE.)



leadership527 -> RE: Is there a difference between being a submissive and a slave (11/26/2009 1:46:09 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LPslittleclip
for me and the dynamic im in it is a measure of trust with the one that you are partnered to. as a botttom i had to develop trust with the top i played with.as a sub i had more trust in the relationship but not developed the level of trust with my Mistress that i have now as a slave. this is how it is in my dynamic it works for U/us
Yup, that. Which, in the end, means that there is no such thing as a master or a slave. There are only doms and subs and when they hookup and it all goes really well, then we call it master & slave. That, at least, is my interpretation. Note that I don't refer to sexual-only people as submissives, I refer to them as bottoms. I see that as an entirely different beast. But once it goes outside the bedroom, I have a hard time seeing what would limit it other than the mutual trust, respect, and overall compatability of the two people.

In the end, you can chase all kinds of statements like "no boundaries", but absolutes seldom work in real life. And, as Drifa pointed out early on, labels only take you so far. In the end, between my wife and I, what there really is is not master and slave or dom and sub. There is Jeff and Carol.



S2 -> RE: Is there a difference between being a submissive and a slave (11/26/2009 7:14:07 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

A slave= you consent once. After that it's either do or leave.
A sub=you consent each and every time. You have a choice in what happens to you.



Both my Master and myself believe in that distinction.



Elisabella -> RE: Is there a difference between being a submissive and a slave (11/26/2009 7:16:13 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: S2

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

A slave= you consent once. After that it's either do or leave.
A sub=you consent each and every time. You have a choice in what happens to you.



Both my Master and myself believe in that distinction.


As do I.



MasterSlaveLA -> RE: Is there a difference between being a submissive and a slave (11/26/2009 11:31:16 PM)

One "tastes great", the other is "less filling". [;)]




shinylight7 -> RE: Is there a difference between being a submissive and a slave (11/26/2009 11:49:18 PM)

A slave= you consent once. After that it's either do or leave.
A sub=you consent each and every time. You have a choice in what happens to you.

I Disagree!

A slave is a servant who has consented to being treated lowly. A slave is weak.
A sub gives service from his/her heart all the time every time. A sub is strong.



smilezz -> RE: Is there a difference between being a submissive and a slave (11/27/2009 5:51:45 AM)

quote:

A slave is a servant who has consented to being treated lowly. A slave is weak.


I disagree strongly with this. In 33 years I have never met a slave described as such....in most cases, I have seen slaves that are confident, independant, some are quite Dominant and sadistic in their own right....and the list goes on.

Happy Friday...

-smilezz-



DarkSteven -> RE: Is there a difference between being a submissive and a slave (11/27/2009 5:54:54 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: smilezz

quote:

A slave is a servant who has consented to being treated lowly. A slave is weak.


I disagree strongly with this.

-smilezz-


You and darn near everybody else.

Still enjoying life in Colorado?



thishereboi -> RE: Is there a difference between being a submissive and a slave (11/27/2009 6:25:36 AM)

I know a lot of people who id as slave and they all have limits. The only difference I have noticed between my submissive friends and my slave friends is the label they use to identify themselves.



DarkSteven -> RE: Is there a difference between being a submissive and a slave (11/27/2009 6:27:41 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: thishereboi

I know a lot of people who id as slave and they all have limits. The only difference I have noticed between my submissive friends and my slave friends is the label they use to identify themselves.


In that case, this will be handy for them if they choose to change.



subtlebutterfly -> RE: Is there a difference between being a submissive and a slave (11/27/2009 6:30:06 AM)

slave=[sm=crop.gif]
submissive = [sm=bury.gif]



thishereboi -> RE: Is there a difference between being a submissive and a slave (11/27/2009 6:32:03 AM)

Awesome idea...We can slap it across the forehead and get some humiliation play in at the same time.



DesFIP -> RE: Is there a difference between being a submissive and a slave (11/27/2009 7:12:01 AM)

I'm a sub. I don't have to give consent every time he says "Get me another cup of tea". So for me, that distinction isn't valid.

The way it works out online is that far too often people think the word slave is way more cool. And they like to boast about how edgier than thou they are. So when this subject comes up, yet again alas, my response is this: A slave is someone who will do what you won't. A sub is someone who won't do what you will. This shows the superiority complex from both sides of the artificial divide.

In actuality I've started calling myself his helpmeet. I do what he needs me to. But for us this has very little to do with extreme sadism or forcing people's sexual boundaries, it has to do with living a better life.



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