Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

Training one self


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> Training one self Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Training one self - 11/26/2009 2:15:22 PM   
getuwet216


Posts: 2
Joined: 4/12/2008
Status: offline 		Greetings to all Dommes and everyone,

I have been a curious submissive for a long time in search for a Domme. Unfortuntely, most I have run into are professionals or simply after my bank account number.

After spending a long time searching for a Goddess i can worship, i have decided to take matters into my own hands and gotten some toys (mostly plugs) to train myself with.

My question is, do Dommes prefer innocent submissives to train, or would they rather take on someone with some experience? Also, how can i further myself to become an attractive commodity in this competitive world and find a Goddess to worship?

- slave mark.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Training one self - 11/26/2009 2:20:30 PM   
AAkasha


Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline

Personally I prefer subs that have not done so much self experimentation that the woman ultimately is just another accessory. It's so much more special and erotic if a man submits to me, not the toys. 

I'd also suggest a better screenname that is not overtly sexual, but that's just me.

Biggest rule of finding and connecting with a (non pro) femdom is that it's the same as courting a vanilla girlfriend.  Chemistry, mutual attraction, relationship comes first for women, in general.  The rest follows.  No quick fix or fast track.

Akasha


_____________________________

Akasha's Web - All original Femdom content since 1995
Don't email me here, email me at [email protected]

(in reply to getuwet216)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Training one self - 11/27/2009 10:37:04 AM   
Miyani


Posts: 248
Joined: 12/4/2007
Status: offline 		~FR~

Training is great. I love a man who comes to Me having already made some effort to improve himself. But, if dilating his asshole is what he thought I'd find valuable, I'd be showing him the door.

You really want to train yourself so that you're useful to a Domme? Take a cooking class, or a bootblacking class, or a massage class. Hire a maid service and really watch what they do, so you can do it better. Learn some landscaping basics, or even something frivolous like tea service.

But please, don't think the amount your asshole can take is anything but a minor detail to most of us.

(in reply to AAkasha)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Training one self - 11/27/2009 10:49:24 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		The two ladies above are correct in their comments, in My opinion.  The screen name is the first impression anyone is going to get and it's sexually based.  In other words, you just made yourself as appealing as any other random person who has hopes of getting laid.  That's not exactly something that women find hard to come by.  If the best you have to offer is how much you can take up the ass is your shining quality, there's no surprise that you haven't found anyone yet.  It's not as though everyone else on the planet doesn't have one, too.  It's not as great of a "commodity" as you think.




_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Miyani)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Training one self - 11/27/2009 10:57:01 AM   
Underumam


Posts: 485
Joined: 12/18/2008
Status: offline 		Op-the ladies are right about this subject imo. I can add that one is either sub or not. Training ones hole is not even classified as training when it comes to submitting. If you are truly submissive the only training you can administer to yourself is through the opportunities to serve others that the natural course of life presents to you. It has nothing to do with sex.........

And besides, when/if you find a Domme, she will most likely want the thrill of breaking your hole in Herself...lol.

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Training one self - 11/27/2009 9:23:38 PM   
GYPSYMAMBO


Posts: 660
Joined: 9/26/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Underumam

. Training ones hole is not even classified as training when it comes to submitting.




well if they have trained their cake hole..sure..
TO speak politely...engage in conversation...to know when it opens it should have good things to say...

But seriously you cannot base a relationship on a un/stretched hole..
wow..cool...how novel...

GM

< Message edited by GYPSYMAMBO -- 11/27/2009 9:27:33 PM >

_____________________________

"Better served women will better serve the world"

** ** **

"A turd is still a turd even if it is shellaced!"

(in reply to Underumam)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Training one self - 11/28/2009 2:26:02 AM   
CarrieO


Posts: 2432
Joined: 1/27/2008
Status: offline 		I guess it all comes down to how you define "service".

The OP appears to define it as sexual.  In reading his profile I find he presents himself as having little more to offer than this. 

quote:


Oh how i long to serve a Mistress. my need grows day by day, and being plugged and trained certainly makes me want to be on my knees sooner rather than later.


quote:


Until that day, i will find ways to train myself and get myself ready for her, so that i don't disappoint.


OP, I would like to suggest that you take the time, as the other ladies have stated, to better yourself as a person and worry less about how much you can stretch your asshole.  Sex is a wonderful thing but when your main focus in a relationship is based on it, you've set yourself up for disappointment. 

You're admittedly young and inexperienced...find a local munch, get out into the community and meet people.  While doing that, worry less about "self-training" sexually and more about developing yourself as a person who has something more to offer a dominant partner.
 
Kinky men are everywhere....strive for something more.  The benefits will amaze you!

_____________________________

"No matter what happens in the kitchen, never apologize"~Julia Child~


(in reply to getuwet216)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Training one self - 11/28/2009 2:41:57 AM   
MistressRouge


Posts: 876
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Birmingham West Midlands UK
Status: offline 		Nothing beats an anal virgin for Me, however I enjoy those that can accommodate My fists also

< Message edited by MistressRouge -- 11/28/2009 2:42:18 AM >

_____________________________

My Members Site.
http://mistressrougeuk.c4slive.com/


http://www.clips4sale.com/store/13392

(in reply to CarrieO)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Training one self - 11/28/2009 5:14:05 AM   
slaveluci


Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: getuwet216
My question is, do Dommes prefer innocent submissives to train, or would they rather take on someone with some experience? Also, how can i further myself to become an attractive commodity in this competitive world and find a Goddess to worship?

This is like asking "What kind of woman does a man want?" So generic, so vague. Not all men or women want the same things...not all "dommes" do either. What pleases one dominant woman will turn another off. You won't know how to be "attractive" to a certain one until you meet her. It's that simple..............luci

_____________________________

To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

(in reply to getuwet216)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Training one self - 11/28/2009 5:32:34 AM   
MaamJay


Posts: 2101
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline 		I'm with the other Ladies on this one. Self training that would interest Me are service skills, and also self-discipline in terms of obedience, manners, being able to keep hands off the cock when told to, ability to learn from mistakes that are corrected, willingness to take feedback on board etc! I enjoy ass play ... but as someone else suggested, I'd rather break it in Myself!

Maam Jay aka violet[A]

_____________________________

Life is a song ... and I love singing it! (By me!)

(in reply to slaveluci)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Training one self - 11/28/2009 5:36:47 AM   
DianeB269


Posts: 1596
Joined: 10/30/2006
Status: offline 		I always looked for guys with no BDSM background just to see if I could pull them over to the dark side...It was more of a challenge to turn a straight nilla guy into sub/slave...

Diane

< Message edited by DianeB269 -- 11/28/2009 5:46:12 AM >

(in reply to getuwet216)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Training one self - 11/28/2009 6:33:10 AM   
thishereboi


Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline 		If you want to play with yourself, I say go for it. People masturbate all the time and a lot of them use toys. I have never heard them refer to it as "training" but if that works for you, that's great.

_____________________________

"Sweetie, you're wasting your gum" .. Albert


This here is the boi formerly known as orfunboi


(in reply to getuwet216)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Training one self - 11/28/2009 7:31:30 AM   
CherokeeRose2


Posts: 36
Joined: 11/29/2008
Status: offline 		Pleasuring yourself isn't training any more than asking someone to pleasure you is serving that person.

(in reply to thishereboi)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Training one self - 11/28/2009 8:31:00 AM   
Underumam


Posts: 485
Joined: 12/18/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GYPSYMAMBO

quote:

ORIGINAL: Underumam

. Training ones hole is not even classified as training when it comes to submitting.




well if they have trained their cake hole..sure..
TO speak politely...engage in conversation...to know when it opens it should have good things to say...

But seriously you cannot base a relationship on a un/stretched hole..
wow..cool...how novel...

GM


*can't stop cracking up* lolololololololol....

(in reply to GYPSYMAMBO)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Training one self - 11/28/2009 10:54:01 AM   
GYPSYMAMBO


Posts: 660
Joined: 9/26/2009
Status: offline

GM

_____________________________

"Better served women will better serve the world"

** ** **

"A turd is still a turd even if it is shellaced!"

(in reply to Underumam)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Training one self - 11/28/2009 11:35:23 AM   
Ladynslave


Posts: 376
Joined: 7/30/2009
Status: offline 		As in any situation in life, different women like different things.  Personally, the sexual screen name doesn't bother me nor does the fact that you like plugs.  What I don't see on your profile is anything that you bring to the table.  It's all about what you want yet mentions nothing about what you can offer a lady.  Those of us that are looking would like to know what you can add to our lives, not what we can add to yours.  The service oriented skills that you currently possess or are currently learning would be a good start.  Can you cook?  Do you set a perfect table?  Do you love making beds first thing in the morning?  Can you tell the difference between a weed and a new sprouted flower?  Can you put an addition on a house or tile a bathroom?  Do you know how to work on cars?  Are you taking any classes to learn new things?  These and many others are things women want to know about their men.  Dommes want to know them about their subs as well.  Focus on what you can provide and take the focus off what you want and you might have some better luck.

(in reply to getuwet216)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Training one self - 11/28/2009 11:39:44 AM   
Ladynslave


Posts: 376
Joined: 7/30/2009
Status: offline 		That reminds me, it's probably time to do some work on our profile, too.  LOL!

(in reply to GYPSYMAMBO)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Training one self - 11/28/2009 12:41:32 PM   
getuwet216


Posts: 2
Joined: 4/12/2008
Status: offline 		Very insightful comments, thank you all for correcting me. I realize i was being selfish in focusing on my needs instead of making myself better and learning to provide for the needs of my eventual Mistress.

I have given up on using any toys thus far in hopes that it would be a lesson, and a reminder that i must first focus on improving myself in other areas. I will be spending the next few days trying to focus on learning specific skills. Cooking is not something i like, but i have good planning and organization skills.

I would appreciate all the insights and continued guidance i can get.

(in reply to Ladynslave)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Training one self - 11/28/2009 12:51:45 PM   
Underumam


Posts: 485
Joined: 12/18/2008
Status: offline 		It's just like any other relationship. Know yourself, and your strengths/weaknesses, be real/honest about them, and present yourself as such. The right one will eventually connect with you.

(in reply to getuwet216)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Training one self - 11/28/2009 1:04:43 PM   
MstrPBK


Posts: 573
Joined: 1/2/2008
Status: offline 		My stupid, biased, dumb, opinion is that learning how not to be selfish is ok ... leaving all your defense mechanizes at the door can dangerous however. Becoming what is referred to as a doormat (or worse) needs to be avoided as well.

MstrPBK
St. Paul, MN USA

(in reply to Underumam)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> Training one self Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.094