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RE: Why did he flipp like this - 11/27/2009 11:26:52 AM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		Be glad that he flipped out now instead of later when you could have potentially put a lot of time and effort into a relationship. Sounds like he just wanted wanking material, fantasy, perhaps he is married, who really knows? Many of the subs that want to "chat" just want cybersex and nothing more. Of course there is that rare diamond in the bunch who really wants to live the lifestyle. Its a chance like anything else in life.

Good luck,
~Lashra

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(in reply to QueenPenelope)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Why did he flipp like this - 11/27/2009 4:22:00 PM   
CaringandReal


Posts: 1397
Joined: 2/15/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Venatrix

... I see nothing wrong with bringing up the topic fairly early on, if it's in a "for instance" sort of way.  Why waste time getting involved with someone if it turns out that neither of you has any interest in relocating, and this is important to the people involved?  Even if the sub felt that it was too early to discuss something like that, going off on a wild rant is not the way to handle it. 



Neither do I find anything wrong with that. Someone I was emailing with once asked a lot of very similar questions in the second email, I think. Could I relocate, could I do my work offsite, did I rent or own and could I get out of my lease if I had to, did I have other ties or obligations that kept me in my locale, etc. He was just establishing practical compatibility very early, and I didn't mind the questions in the least. I quite understood the sense of doing this before feelings started to run too hot or deep. Maybe I would have thought it odd if if there hadn't been such a strong connection in the first email, but I doubt that I would have responded the way that that guy did. Quite frankly his response to QueenPenelope's hypothetical question seemed nutty as a fruitcake to me.

< Message edited by CaringandReal -- 11/27/2009 4:23:04 PM >

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(in reply to Venatrix)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Why did he flipp like this - 11/27/2009 10:09:33 PM   
LookieNoNookie


Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: QueenPenelope

I just started talking to this guy I met online and he said in his emails that he is interested in being a 24/7 sub to a Domme. We were talking for a while and he told me he is fairly new to this and that he is wanting to know more about things in this sort of lifestyle. We were talking for nearly an hours and I was answering a lof ot his questions. So I asked him would he be willing to relocate and move in if his Domme wnated him to. He got very angry and started yelling and asking me why the hell would I ask him that and that I must be crazy. Then I calmly explained to him that is what most 24/7 sub's do and he said that's not true and that I must be crazy and kept on shouting and cussing. So finally I said ok, its been nice talking to you. Then I blocked him from my messenger list and from contacting me on this sight as well. What would make him act like that?


Sweety....you're 22 years old.

Keep asking good questions.

(There are no bad questions).

(in reply to QueenPenelope)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Why did he flipp like this - 11/28/2009 12:12:47 AM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: missyandy

i have been dating my slave\sub male for 18 months he likes cages and sleeps in chains and gags and ropes. he wears nappies and drinks from bottles and i love him so much but i do the slightest thing wrong in his eyes and now three time he has beaten me up.so some times you are just a joke to them.
three times? Why are you still with him?


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(in reply to missyandy)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Why did he flipp like this - 11/28/2009 12:14:00 AM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline
quote:

What would make him act like that?
he's nuts

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(in reply to QueenPenelope)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Why did he flipp like this - 11/28/2009 8:56:31 PM   
theRose4U


Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: missyandy

i have been dating my slave\sub male for 18 months he likes cages and sleeps in chains and gags and ropes. he wears nappies and drinks from bottles and i love him so much but i do the slightest thing wrong in his eyes and now three time he has beaten me up.so some times you are just a joke to them.

WTF?!?! Exactly who is in charge here? Sleeping in gags are a good way to kill someone and "he has beaten YOU up" either you're nuts or a troll.

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Finding a good sub is like sifting through trail mix. You find a few fruits, a lotta nuts and have to sift to get to the sweet and special ones
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(in reply to missyandy)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Why did he flipp like this - 11/29/2009 5:03:31 AM   
masmiss


Posts: 494
Joined: 2/16/2009
From: New Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

New Messages
theRose4U
Evil



Posts: 1535
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: missyandy

i have been dating my slave\sub male for 18 months he likes cages and sleeps in chains and gags and ropes. he wears nappies and drinks from bottles and i love him so much but i do the slightest thing wrong in his eyes and now three time he has beaten me up.so some times you are just a joke to them.


WTF?!?! Exactly who is in charge here? Sleeping in gags are a good way to kill someone and "he has beaten YOU up" either you're nuts or a troll.
quote:

ORIGINAL: theRose4U

quote:

ORIGINAL: missyandy

i have been dating my slave\sub male for 18 months he likes cages and sleeps in chains and gags and ropes. he wears nappies and drinks from bottles and i love him so much but i do the slightest thing wrong in his eyes and now three time he has beaten me up.so some times you are just a joke to them.

WTF?!?! Exactly who is in charge here? Sleeping in gags are a good way to kill someone and "he has beaten YOU up" either you're nuts or a troll.


I say troll.


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(in reply to theRose4U)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Why did he flipp like this - 11/29/2009 10:51:53 AM   
QueenPenelope


Posts: 29
Joined: 11/23/2009
From: South Carolina
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

OP you have no experience in this. Discussion about relocation comes way after you've established commonality and chemistry and genuine liking. If some dude I'd never spoken to before had asked me if I would relocate on the first chat, I would have assumed he was nuts.

Relocation is major, and sometimes it's the dominant who moves. It happens after you've established a good, long term relationship not before.

You're 22 so I doubt you have the world's greatest job. Yet you assume any sub would give up a paid for home, a six figure income to flip burgers near you. I'm just surprised he went off on you instead of simply blocking you first.


Hmm, that's odd you'd say that, seeing as how you don't know me. But yes I have a very great career I just got my bachelors in and I work for my family's business. And I don't assume any sub would give up all that you said I would (that's also odd of you to say) expect them to. Most of the subs I talk to are my age or a few years older.


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Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Why did he flipp like this - 11/29/2009 1:18:42 PM   
Eivarden


Posts: 101
Joined: 4/15/2009
Status: offline 		I honestly would have had no idea what would cause it.

I don't know your situation in full, but blocking him sounds reasonable if he got out of hand.

I mean, you did explain to him why you suggested it.
*shrugs*

(in reply to eihwaz)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Why did he flipp like this - 11/29/2009 1:36:45 PM   
rockspider


Posts: 633
Joined: 9/26/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: missyandy

i have been dating my slave\sub male for 18 months he likes cages and sleeps in chains and gags and ropes. he wears nappies and drinks from bottles and i love him so much but i do the slightest thing wrong in his eyes and now three time he has beaten me up.so some times you are just a joke to them.

Hmmm. Must be what is called a switch

(in reply to missyandy)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Why did he flipp like this - 11/29/2009 2:25:23 PM   
blackpearl81


Posts: 506
Joined: 8/30/2005
From: Home of the Yankees
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

OP you have no experience in this. Discussion about relocation comes way after you've established commonality and chemistry and genuine liking. If some dude I'd never spoken to before had asked me if I would relocate on the first chat, I would have assumed he was nuts.

Relocation is major, and sometimes it's the dominant who moves. It happens after you've established a good, long term relationship not before.

You're 22 so I doubt you have the world's greatest job. Yet you assume any sub would give up a paid for home, a six figure income to flip burgers near you. I'm just surprised he went off on you instead of simply blocking you first.


If the OP is explaining some things that may be eventually expected of the sub, why does it matter when relocation is discussed?

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(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Why did he flipp like this - 11/29/2009 2:51:03 PM   
Acer49


Posts: 1434
Joined: 8/7/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: QueenPenelope

I just started talking to this guy I met online and he said in his emails that he is interested in being a 24/7 sub to a Domme. We were talking for a while and he told me he is fairly new to this and that he is wanting to know more about things in this sort of lifestyle. We were talking for nearly an hours and I was answering a lof ot his questions. So I asked him would he be willing to relocate and move in if his Domme wnated him to. He got very angry and started yelling and asking me why the hell would I ask him that and that I must be crazy. Then I calmly explained to him that is what most 24/7 sub's do and he said that's not true and that I must be crazy and kept on shouting and cussing. So finally I said ok, its been nice talking to you. Then I blocked him from my messenger list and from contacting me on this sight as well. What would make him act like that?



Other than being an idiot or someone with anger issues, maybe someone who had no serious intent, who knows for sure

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(in reply to QueenPenelope)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Why did he flipp like this - 11/30/2009 3:56:57 PM   
thaprincess


Posts: 69
Joined: 11/29/2009
Status: offline 		Some people are just crazy and so they flip on people out of nowhere, it's part of their personality. And I don't see anything wrong with asking if a sub or Dom(me) is willing to relocate early on in the email stage of getting to know one another. Helps to stop me from wasting my time on someone who has different visions on what the D/s relationship will be compared to my own.

(in reply to eihwaz)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Why did he flipp like this - 12/3/2009 1:51:12 AM   
LoopyLouUK


Posts: 10
Joined: 6/25/2008
Status: offline 		I agree with some of the above posts - the OP as far as I can tell was only asking the general question about relocation - and why not. When talking to someone for the first time is it not the best thing to do getting as much information from them about all apsects of this life - knowledge can be power afterall!

It sounds to me that you have actually been very lucky and have not wasted alot of time and messages over a long period of time before you found out they were unsuitable for you.

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(in reply to eihwaz)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Why did he flipp like this - 12/3/2009 3:55:50 AM   
Avralivia


Posts: 8
Joined: 10/13/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: eihwaz

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

quote:

ORIGINAL: missyandy
...and now three time he has beaten me up.so some times you are just a joke to them.

... I can understand getting beaten up once, but there never should have been two more times.


No, not even once.




Nope I don't get it at all!

A sub who beats up their dominant?

That is just too weird for me to get my head around.

Maybe it is just trolling...

If this has really happened, get the hell out of dodge I would say!!!

(in reply to eihwaz)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Why did he flipp like this - 12/3/2009 4:56:13 AM   
MsMillgrove


Posts: 260
Joined: 5/27/2008
Status: offline 		CM is a cesspool of really weird people.. and standing on the shore.. are lots of great ones too. You got the wrong guy. It happens.

Don't waste your energy on figuring out "why", you'll need that energy to keep going in the quest. (hehe. i love to give good advice that I can't take myself, I'm always saying to myself, "why why why", really sucks up valuable time too.)

I don't recall a Mommy domme ever posting on CM--has it happened before? That's why I would vote for "troll"

(in reply to Avralivia)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Why did he flipp like this - 12/3/2009 6:27:07 AM   
SweetDommes


Posts: 3313
Joined: 10/5/2004
Status: offline 		There are a few Mommy-Dommes around.

to the OP - it's good to get the basics out of the way to find out if there is a possibility. I was quite upset when a boy who seemed wonderful suddenly decided that he couldn't relocate... and relocating 3 people vs relocating 1 person - guess what isn't going to happen. There is no way that we're going to give up the house, and 3 good jobs for 1 boy who lives in an apartment and just started a new job. This way, you know that he isn't going to work out (probably with anyone) and there is no reason to waste any more time even thinking about him.

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Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Why did he flipp like this - 12/3/2009 7:12:59 AM   
lobodomslavery


Posts: 2477
Joined: 1/17/2008
Status: offline 		For the OP may i respectfully suggest You went way too fast way too soon. You should never ask someone to move in with You after You only talked with them for an hour. A bit of naivety on your part, simply put he was not ready for the commitment and You went way too fast way too soon. Relocation is too much ask of someone You have simply chatted with for a while
Kevin

(in reply to SweetDommes)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Why did he flipp like this - 12/3/2009 7:16:12 AM   
lobodomslavery


Posts: 2477
Joined: 1/17/2008
Status: offline 		Still your sub potential was totally wrong to flip the way he did. He has a personality issue. He could have said simply no thank you. Your much better without him
Kevin

(in reply to QueenPenelope)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Why did he flipp like this - 12/3/2009 9:40:00 AM   
thaprincess


Posts: 69
Joined: 11/29/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lobodomslavery

For the OP may i respectfully suggest You went way too fast way too soon. You should never ask someone to move in with You after You only talked with them for an hour. A bit of naivety on your part, simply put he was not ready for the commitment and You went way too fast way too soon. Relocation is too much ask of someone You have simply chatted with for a while
Kevin



I think it depends on how she phrased it quite frankly. If she simply asked was it possible for him to relocate some time in the future, then I see nothing wrong with that. But if she asked him to pack up and move everything ASAP, then yes that would scare me off too. But from reading what she wrote, I'm assuming she simply asked him was it in the realm of possibility which to me sounds reasonable. Better to see if you two have similar goals in the beginning than to drag things out and find out that your goals are polar opposites.

(in reply to lobodomslavery)
Profile   Post #: 40
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