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RE: Why did he flipp like this - 12/3/2009 1:13:08 PM   
WyldHrt


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quote:

For the OP may i respectfully suggest You went way too fast way too soon. You should never ask someone to move in with You after You only talked with them for an hour. A bit of naivety on your part, simply put he was not ready for the commitment and You went way too fast way too soon. Relocation is too much ask of someone You have simply chatted with for a while

Kevin, please read the thread. The OP didn't ask the guy to move in with her, sheesh.


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RE: Why did he flipp like this - 12/4/2009 3:25:05 AM   
lobodomslavery


Posts: 2477
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Status: offline 		I agree . I think there was naivety on both parts though. I m sure She wont ask someone to relocate to Her straight off the bat again. Not that She will be put off. But She will be a little more slow to ask the question and will probably only ask it after several months/weeks of talking to the sub
Kevin

(in reply to thaprincess)
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RE: Why did he flipp like this - 12/4/2009 3:27:17 AM   
lobodomslavery


Posts: 2477
Joined: 1/17/2008
Status: offline 		True but She did suggest would he be willing to relocate to Her. Either way its a big big step . Not a question to be asking after just one day of talking. Not in my opinion anyway. But mileage may differ
Kevin

(in reply to WyldHrt)
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RE: Why did he flipp like this - 12/4/2009 3:57:36 AM   
SweetDommes


Posts: 3313
Joined: 10/5/2004
Status: offline 		We ask right off the bat if it's a possibility. If it's not, then it's a total waste of time on all sides. We can't relocate - three people trying to find new jobs and a new place to live vs 1 person trying to find a new job and moving into the house that we own ... it's a no-brainer for us. We are quite clear and upfront about it, and we ask early on ... in fact, it is in our profile, which (in theory) they should be reading before ever messaging us.

I don't think she was out of line at all. She wasn't asking for it to happen tomorrow, or next week, or even next year - just verifying that it's a possibility.

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RE: Why did he flipp like this - 12/4/2009 10:06:22 AM   
QuirkyAnne


Posts: 268
Joined: 9/17/2008
Status: offline 		It could be one of a thousand reasons from, he was a flake who was enjoying fantasy of having a mistress online only, to the mention of relocating scared the crap out of him, or even that he is married or involved already.

I've had similar things happen when "Doms" have messaged me and when I told them I would not relocate until meeting in person enough times that I felt I truly knew and could trust them, and they've completely flipped out, insulting me for not being a real sub.  Which I don't think I want to be if being real involves quitting my job, school, and leaving my home for a place and man hundreds or even thousands of miles away, whom I've talked to a handful on times online, and may or may not have told the truth on the different aspects of his profile.

So it goes both ways...

Anne

(in reply to QueenPenelope)
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RE: Why did he flipp like this - 12/4/2009 10:09:01 AM   
lobodomslavery


Posts: 2477
Joined: 1/17/2008
Status: offline 		She wasnt out of line. It was a less than appropriate to ask at that juncture though. The person that was out of line was the sub. He could have said no thank you and left at that. He chose to lose his temper over something small. he was a real pig. She was unlucky that he  took advantage of her inexperience to have a go at Her like he did. he was a complete pig.  She will be smarter as time goes on.
Kevin

(in reply to SweetDommes)
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RE: Why did he flipp like this - 12/4/2009 1:47:03 PM   
SweetDommes


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Status: offline 		I don't even see where it was less than appropriate. If there is no possibility of relocation, then it's a complete waste of time on both sides to continue as anything but friends in a lot of cases. As I said, it wasn't like she was asking him if he could move right away, just if he could at all.

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Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

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RE: Why did he flipp like this - 12/4/2009 1:57:07 PM   
WyldHrt


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quote:

I don't even see where it was less than appropriate. If there is no possibility of relocation, then it's a complete waste of time on both sides to continue as anything but friends in a lot of cases. As I said, it wasn't like she was asking him if he could move right away, just if he could at all.

This. Why waste weeks or months getting to know someone long distance, only to find out that neither of you is willing to relocate? It makes no sense to me.


_____________________________

"MotherFUCKER!" is NOT a safeword!!"- Steel
"We've had complaints about 'orgy noises'. This is not the neighborhood for that kind of thing"- PVE Cop

Resident "Hypnotic Eyes", "Cleavage" and "Toy Whore"
Subby Mafia, VAA Posse & Team Troll!

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RE: Why did he flipp like this - 12/4/2009 2:24:37 PM   
lobodomslavery


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Status: offline 		Well its a little premature. Wait a couple of weeks. If he says no, all you have lost is a slave, You still have a good friend as You say yourself
Kevin

(in reply to SweetDommes)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Why did he flipp like this - 12/4/2009 3:02:16 PM   
Underumam


Posts: 485
Joined: 12/18/2008
Status: offline 		From my own experience, relocation usually falls on the sub male. The Domme is usually living her life the way she wants it, and a sub partner seems to be an addition to her already satisfactory lifestyle. I think this also might be due to the fact that a Dommes life without a sub, is more satisfying to her than a sub males life is without a Domme. It's like this in vanilla as well.

The fact that a male is to be in service to a Domme, usually means that he will need to fit into her lifestyle, and not the other way around.......


< Message edited by Underumam -- 12/4/2009 3:03:47 PM >

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RE: Why did he flipp like this - 12/4/2009 3:17:18 PM   
Venatrix


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Joined: 11/28/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Underumam

From my own experience, relocation usually falls on the sub male.



I think it depends on where he lives.  I can imagine quite a few dominas being willing to move to London, Paris, or Rome.

(in reply to Underumam)
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RE: Why did he flipp like this - 12/4/2009 3:46:50 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Underumam
The Domme is usually living her life the way she wants it, and a sub partner seems to be an addition to her already satisfactory lifestyle. I think this also might be due to the fact that a Dommes life without a sub, is more satisfying to her than a sub males life is without a Domme. It's like this in vanilla as well.


You might be right about subs generally, Underu - I don't know.  But I can't relate to any of that at all. 

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(in reply to Underumam)
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RE: Why did he flipp like this - 12/4/2009 4:20:10 PM   
Underumam


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Venatrix

quote:

ORIGINAL: Underumam

From my own experience, relocation usually falls on the sub male.



I think it depends on where he lives.  I can imagine quite a few dominas being willing to move to London, Paris, or Rome.


lol. I'll bet...

(in reply to Venatrix)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Why did he flipp like this - 12/4/2009 4:22:26 PM   
Underumam


Posts: 485
Joined: 12/18/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

quote:

ORIGINAL: Underumam
The Domme is usually living her life the way she wants it, and a sub partner seems to be an addition to her already satisfactory lifestyle. I think this also might be due to the fact that a Dommes life without a sub, is more satisfying to her than a sub males life is without a Domme. It's like this in vanilla as well.


You might be right about subs generally, Underu - I don't know.  But I can't relate to any of that at all. 


It's pretty much natural the the female is the hearth and home, regardless of her orientation. It might just be me(it often is lol), but I do much better with a woman in my life. Women usually seem to handle being alone better than us doodes.......

(in reply to PeonForHer)
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RE: Why did he flipp like this - 12/4/2009 5:15:18 PM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Venatrix

quote:

ORIGINAL: Underumam

From my own experience, relocation usually falls on the sub male.



I think it depends on where he lives.  I can imagine quite a few dominas being willing to move to London, Paris, or Rome.


With winter coming here in Montreal, I'd we willing to relocate to a tropical villa with a cute cabana boy! ;-)

- LA

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Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

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RE: Why did he flipp like this - 12/4/2009 5:27:38 PM   
Underumam


Posts: 485
Joined: 12/18/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika


quote:

ORIGINAL: Venatrix

quote:

ORIGINAL: Underumam

From my own experience, relocation usually falls on the sub male.



I think it depends on where he lives.  I can imagine quite a few dominas being willing to move to London, Paris, or Rome.


With winter coming here in Montreal, I'd we willing to relocate to a tropical villa with a cute cabana boy! ;-)

- LA


But then You'd miss out on all those cold, romantic walks to the bistro for some cafe ole. lol.

(in reply to LadyAngelika)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Why did he flipp like this - 12/4/2009 5:33:35 PM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Underumam

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika


quote:

ORIGINAL: Venatrix

quote:

ORIGINAL: Underumam

From my own experience, relocation usually falls on the sub male.



I think it depends on where he lives.  I can imagine quite a few dominas being willing to move to London, Paris, or Rome.


With winter coming here in Montreal, I'd we willing to relocate to a tropical villa with a cute cabana boy! ;-)

- LA


But then You'd miss out on all those cold, romantic walks to the bistro for some cafe ole. lol.



There is nothing romantic about slush!

Oh and it's café au lait ;-)

- LA

< Message edited by LadyAngelika -- 12/4/2009 5:35:12 PM >

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Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Why did he flipp like this - 12/4/2009 6:16:17 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline 		Women usually seem to handle being alone better than us doodes.......

Really?  Hmmm.  Again, not something that's struck me.  Female friends and relations of mine have always seemed to be much keener to find a partner, and as soon as possible, than male friends and relations.  On the other hand I've got dim memories of reading research that said men who are in partnerships live longer than us singletons.   (Or maybe it just feels like it's longer.  Heh.  Only joking.)  But I've never given it much consideration.  All I really know is that I'm not 'needy' for a partnership. 

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(in reply to Underumam)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Why did he flipp like this - 12/4/2009 6:28:56 PM   
Underumam


Posts: 485
Joined: 12/18/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

quote:

ORIGINAL: Underumam

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika


quote:

ORIGINAL: Venatrix

quote:

ORIGINAL: Underumam

From my own experience, relocation usually falls on the sub male.



I think it depends on where he lives.  I can imagine quite a few dominas being willing to move to London, Paris, or Rome.


With winter coming here in Montreal, I'd we willing to relocate to a tropical villa with a cute cabana boy! ;-)

- LA


But then You'd miss out on all those cold, romantic walks to the bistro for some cafe ole. lol.



There is nothing romantic about slush!

Oh and it's café au lait ;-)

- LA


And I'm sure you  noticed my lol.

(in reply to LadyAngelika)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Why did he flipp like this - 12/4/2009 6:29:55 PM   
SomethingCatchy


Posts: 796
Joined: 7/29/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

OP you have no experience in this. Discussion about relocation comes way after you've established commonality and chemistry and genuine liking. If some dude I'd never spoken to before had asked me if I would relocate on the first chat, I would have assumed he was nuts.

Relocation is major, and sometimes it's the dominant who moves. It happens after you've established a good, long term relationship not before.

You're 22 so I doubt you have the world's greatest job. Yet you assume any sub would give up a paid for home, a six figure income to flip burgers near you. I'm just surprised he went off on you instead of simply blocking you first.


I'm going to argue, as well. What's wrong with finding out if you're compatible before getting too involved? If people scare you off by asking common sense questions, then more power to you, but lots of people want to walk into something with their eyes OPEN.


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(in reply to DesFIP)
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