RE: Limits

RE: Limits (Full Version)

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Roselaure -> RE: Limits (12/3/2009 5:10:31 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth it makes absolutely no sense to this slave to limit something that any decent human being/non-sociopath wouldn't be fucking doing to someone they intend to have around for awhile, anyway...like dismemberment, or screwing their infants, or caning someone's breast implants, or causing them to need psychiatric hospitilization. how and why would you even engage with someone so dangerous they NEED you to limit them from that sort of shit? Not ALL sadists need a leash...and if you seriously believe that the only thing keeping your partner from seriously fucking you and yours up is your "limit list" because without it He would just be devoid of ANY sense of right/wrong is either: a) an indication that you have no business partnering with anyone or complaining about it later if you can't discern a sociopath from a decent human being or b) taking cynical to the level of hysterical. As usual, beth, you are most sensible. This stuff simply does not come up in our relationship. And why would it? My master is an intelligent, decent, mentally stable individual who happens to like to make girls go "ow!" for fun. This does not mean I can't trust him alone with my dog unless I tell him, "Hey! Fucking Fido is a HARD LIMIT!!" Let's face it, if a Master were inclined to do any of those totally sicko things, telling him it's a limit is not really likely to stop him.

Roselaure -> RE: Limits (12/3/2009 5:25:57 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP agirl, I've gotten emails from those types when my daughter was younger, saying they would train her to eventually be his sex slave also. If this type of stuff didn't exist, we wouldn't have to talk about it. Some women won't mention that they are parents because they've gotten these emails. Others get yelled at for not disclosing it in a profile, there's just no right answer for all. I 'think we are talking about 2 different things here. No one is denying that all sorts of sick shit exists in the world. One just has to turn on the TV to know that. But that doesn't mean everyone's master wants to do that stuff. Honestly, it just does not come up. If I have a medical condition I inform him of it and I don't worry that he's going to do something that will harm me.

Mercnbeth -> RE: Limits (12/3/2009 8:26:41 PM)
quote: But my comment was taken out of context. It was in response to someone who said that she would never again be allowed to add a limit. At which point I asked about how they would handle these things. Because whether I say the doctor said this and therefore I'm limiting it from now on or he says since the doctor said that he's limiting it from now on, the truth of the matter is that a new limit has appeared. no, it wasn't taken out of context...obviously you missed the point of this slave's response and the additional responses of Gypsymambo, NuevaVida, AnimusRex, .thedark. and agirl. the point that this slave and the others were trying to make to you and the readers of this forum is that any decent human being who is Mastering/dominating you won't NEED you to limit Him from something that is going to seriously fuck you and yours up. He or She would limit themselves from seriously fucking you and yours up. more importantly, why in the hell would you consider or enter into a relationship with someone who would NEED you to "limit" them from such things? whether that something is an either already established thing like keeping all of your limbs intact and not needing to "limit" your partner from cutting them off or something new that would cause you some sort of extreme damage/irreperable harm like caning the fuck out of your implants after your recent mastectomy, to the point of rupture. if you can't discern the difference, or you are actually considering a partner that has to be reigned in like that, you have no business entering into a relationship...period. additionally, just because someone identifies as a sadist, or even a dominant for that matter, doesn't mean they are ALL just a "limit" away from behaving exactly like Charles Manson or Jefferey Dahmer or some sick bastard who wants to fuck your prepubescent daughter.

WyldHrt -> RE: Limits (12/3/2009 9:41:51 PM)
Dayum! I just gotta say, GO beth! [:D] @Des- I do understand your point and where you are coming from, but something that I have learned from actually meeting and interacting IRL with folks from the boards is that you can really only convey so much in writing when it comes to living, breathing relationships; particularly on forums where you are posting to a given subject. Unfortunately, discussions of things like "rules" and "limits" often come across online as sterile statements, outside the context of a given relationship. This usually leads to "what ifs" by those outside those relationships (I am guilty of this), not through malice, but because of the limitations of the medium being used. I think a big part of the issue regarding "no limits slaves" is the legitimate fear that new folks will read such things and take them as BDSM gospel, all the while missing the context and groundwork that goes into such a relationship. My $.02

Hierodule -> RE: Limits (12/3/2009 11:41:43 PM)
I have never set any limits with my Master. I trust him, completely, he is essentially a very kind man, and he isn't into any kind of edge play. When we first started playing he saidno safe word, no blood, no burns, no closed fists, and I will not call you names. So I guess he set the limits. This obviously won't work for everyone.

rockspider -> RE: Limits (12/4/2009 12:41:57 AM)
Well if any women would mention the limits OP does it probably would get a response like "Who the fuck do you think i am, Ted Bundy's brother" and screewing her 12 year old daugther would get a similar kind of thing. If she offered me to do that i would be on the phone to authorities post haste. To me hard limits is something sane people could do, but the recipient finds unpleasant. The other way round it could also be something the sub wants done but the dominant can not suply for moral or ethical reasons. Lets face it, I would never piss on a woman or worse. The idea makes me want to puke. Slapping can be ok, but fists, no way. Asking for the two last would get a recommendation to see a shrink. Ok that is me. If others want to go there thats up to them, but i have left the party by then. For fucking Fido. I only do that with a stand in. He has already been found and is a strapping 80 kg Bethoven look alike. I shal be display my voyeor tendensies the day Furball changes status from virgin to hopefull mother to be[:)] Must be a sad life to be a real bitch. They only get fucked once ot twice in their life[:D]

breatheasone -> RE: Limits (12/4/2009 12:44:55 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: rockspider Well if any women would mention the limits OP does it probably would get a response like "Who the fuck do you think i am, Ted Bundy's brother" and screewing her 12 year old daugther would get a similar kind of thing. If she offered me to do that i would be on the phone to authorities post haste. To me hard limits is something sane people could do, but the recipient finds unpleasant. The other way round it could also be something the sub wants done but the dominant can not suply for moral or ethical reasons. Lets face it, I would never piss on a woman or worse. The idea makes me want to puke. Slapping can be ok, but fists, no way. Asking for the two last would get a recommendation to see a shrink. Ok that is me. If others want to go there thats up to them, but i have left the party by then. Dude? Seriously, what are you TALKING about? Did you even read the OP? i just did to make sure i wasn't missing something.[&:]

rockspider -> RE: Limits (12/4/2009 1:17:17 AM)
Sorry Breatheasone it was not really the OP it should have been refering to, but HouseOfSire's reply. Reading through a whole tread sometimes looses the sight of the original question and concentrate on some of the replies. Of course i should have gone back and quoted the post i was get pissed of by. Oh Lord, please help me to keep my big mouth shut, until i know what i am talking about[;)]

shivermetimbers -> RE: Limits (12/4/2009 4:02:06 AM)
We are both subs who switch for each other. We each set our own limits, and have in the past with others.

Mercnbeth -> RE: Limits (12/4/2009 7:27:34 AM)
Merc - I don't know what's more dangerous and/or naive, actually stupid works better; thinking that a 'Ted Bundy' would disclose his actual intentions, asked specifically or not, once he got you bound up tight, or thinking that a 'safe-word' would make him stop. In fact a person out to harm and/or kill you would be more likely to let you set any parameters you want before you meet, or when you meet to go over the ground rules. A reason that whenever I talk to people with no experience but interested in pursuing some 'lifestyle' experience; know the person and don't play or interact with them until you know them - not 'magic' words or limits. quote: ...To me hard limits is something sane people could do, but the recipient finds unpleasant. The other way round it could also be something the sub wants done but the dominant can not suply for moral or ethical reasons... that's a great example of rational thought about the topic of "limits"...but with that being said, you are sure to disappoint the segment of our very own population here that finds some sort of pleasure perpetrating the myth that BDSM is something only criminally insane fuckers do, so it only follows that stuff like axe murdering one's entire family HAS to be on any submissive/slaves list of limits.

AnimusRex -> RE: Limits (12/4/2009 8:51:49 AM)
There are really many different types of BDSM relationships, but two basic categories are those that are 24/7 long term, versus the short term, play session based relationships. The classic BDSM concepts of asking permission, negotiation, discussion of limits and safewords; these things really apply to the second sort of encounter. By the time you get to know someone well enough to move in and merge your bank accounts and start making babies together, the need to ask "is it ok if I fuck you in the ass" seems a bit silly.

breatheasone -> RE: Limits (12/4/2009 9:56:27 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: rockspider Sorry Breatheasone it was not really the OP it should have been refering to, but HouseOfSire's reply. Reading through a whole tread sometimes looses the sight of the original question and concentrate on some of the replies. Of course i should have gone back and quoted the post i was get pissed of by. Oh Lord, please help me to keep my big mouth shut, until i know what i am talking about[;)] Dude..... i TOTALLY understand!...no harm no foul! It just took me by surprise is all[;)]

agirl -> RE: Limits (12/4/2009 10:47:25 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP agirl, I've gotten emails from those types when my daughter was younger, saying they would train her to eventually be his sex slave also. If this type of stuff didn't exist, we wouldn't have to talk about it. Some women won't mention that they are parents because they've gotten these emails. Others get yelled at for not disclosing it in a profile, there's just no right answer for all. But my comment was taken out of context. It was in response to someone who said that she would never again be allowed to add a limit. At which point I asked about how they would handle these things. Because whether I say the doctor said this and therefore I'm limiting it from now on or he says since the doctor said that he's limiting it from now on, the truth of the matter is that a new limit has appeared. I'm not looking for a right answer........I was trying to understand. I admit that if my doctor advised that I must take care of myself in a certain way...it wouldn't be something that I'd even THINK as a limit. It would be a situation that we'd address. I asked if you set limits .....or are limited by things you both understand. I only asked that question because you seem to infer that you have limits that you have set. The fact that there are men sending emails that might want to fuck the virgin arses of my sons, wouldn't incite me to invent a limit for my owner. I wouldn't talk about it...why would I? No-one with an ounce of sense would entertain the idea. There's a world of difference between getting involved with a total nutter and HAVING to produce a list where your sons are off limits and being in a relationship where people are fairly sensible and are balanced in a broadly understood way. There are always things that limit us, I'm limited by being 52yrs and though pretty bendy , I'm no 16yr old. It'd be remarkably stupifying if I needed to point that out to my owner everytime he suspends me from the hook in my ceiling. ( keeping this within the realms of reality). I was making a distinction between * there are things that limit us* and * I have things I won't "let" you do, or things I must protect myself from. From hearing you speak about your relationship over time , I'm having a hard job imagining that you have to have the latter. The poster's comment of not being allowed to add a limit* seems as reasonable as can be. You seem to be lumping being limited with * I'm limiting you* in the same contaxt ....and they don't go together. agirl agirl

HOUSEofSIRE -> RE: Limits (12/4/2009 11:38:09 AM)
OMG really? Several people have seriously taken my original post way too seriously. If i thought Sire would ever do half the things some of you have come up with then i never would have consented to being collared in the first place. i created the hard limit list that i have shortly after coming into the lifestyle because it seems there are some sick fucks our there who commonly participate in those kinds of things. i added the dismemberment thing after hearing about girls having their clits surgically removed because their Master wanted them to. i saw no reason to change the list later, i personally find it a little scary to say "i have no limits" really? there is nothing you wouldn't do for your Master? i find that hard to believe. We all have lines we won't cross. Good Grief, i have no reason to need to change my limit list as life goes on because Sire loves me enough to never do anything that would screw me up to begin with. It's about trust, and saying that i don't have the power to change the list just enhances the element of control for us. It's kind of like saying that i am never allowed to leave His service without permission. That's all fun in theory, but hello, it's the 21st century if i really wanted to leave then there is nothing He can do about it. Geez lighten up already. i appologize to everyone who wasn't attacking the first post. This was not directed at you.

LadyHibiscus -> RE: Limits (12/4/2009 12:09:06 PM)
I am continually baffled at submissives who tell me that animals and kids are on their hard limits list! REALLY?? Gosh, thanks for sharing. I am a very serious sadist. I do have a few limits---I will not suture anyone's eyes, and will not do any kind of carotid takedown or strangulation play. There is a whole host of things I do not CARE to do (scat, vomit, no thanks) but hey! never say never. It does not OCCUR to me to say, "I will not mutilate you", "I will not make you fuck your child/german shepherd/pony." That kind of thing really makes a mockery of discussing limits at all. (yes, there are folks who suture eyes. mouths, too. never done it, it disturbs me viscerally.)

lusciouslips19 -> RE: Limits (12/4/2009 12:12:34 PM)
Im baffled at that too. Just because I dont mention that I will not do animals or chidren or that you may not copy my material does not mean that I want to do that. Its really stupid.

Icarys -> RE: Limits (12/4/2009 3:00:59 PM)
It's kinda funny in a way..I sit sometimes and look at the people who post here and try to guess what they will say to the particular topic at hand..I'm surprised sometimes but not very often. I don't expect anything to change (myself included) ..We are all different..why would it be any other way? The only limits a female of mine will have are the one's I choose to impose for both of us. As long as she accepts this and can abide by this gracefully when it's not to her liking...I may be inclined to grant her a request as long as her attitude is correct when she's asking...There are some things I could care less about...I've yet to see more than 3 females in my time that knew how to come to me in the way she should TO GET the request granted..Even after it was explained to them how to go about it lol... Most try and force their wills...Never gonna happen. I'll pack my bags for Alaska and live the rest of my days as a hermit in the mountains alone before I allow a female to dictate what she will and won't do.

lusciouslips19 -> RE: Limits (12/4/2009 4:21:00 PM)
Well these limits are set up before a power exchange. So I think she can dictate what her limits are. You can just walk away and vice versa. SO I am not dictating if I say face slapping is a hard limit as it sends me to a bad place and a one of reliving past abuse. Thats not dictating my will. Thats protecting myself emotionally so I can be a well adjusted person.

Icarys -> RE: Limits (12/4/2009 4:54:20 PM)
quote: Well these limits are set up before a power exchange. So I think she can dictate what her limits are. You can just walk away and vice versa. SO I am not dictating if I say face slapping is a hard limit as it sends me to a bad place and a one of reliving past abuse. Thats not dictating my will. Thats protecting myself emotionally so I can be a well adjusted person. Whatever it is you want to call it but I wouldn't allow anyone to set anything up prior to or after the relationship has been established as such. Setting limits is setting limitations and I won't allow it.

DesFIP -> RE: Limits (12/4/2009 4:57:34 PM)
So you would force someone to be seriously ill instead? You would face slap someone who gets PTSD from such things and then call an ambulance to have them brought to a hospital afterwards just to prove who is the boss?

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