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MsSonnetMarwood -> RE: Why don't male subs go to munches? (3/18/2007 5:08:52 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: azjojoba
quote:
You decide how an entire group of people are going
to behave without having met any of them in real life.
Well, just read what other male subs say on this thread that have gone. OK, perhaps you are right that I'm judging munches unfairly since I haven't been to one. I would say that if most the women are like the ones at collarme I would probably not be welcome. Do you disagree?
Actually yes, I'll agree that married men seeking extramarital affairs behind the wife's back aren't typically welcome to munches by the lifestyle Dommes that attend. You see, women interested in kink are BOMBARDED on a daily basis by men in this situation. It gets really really old, really really fast. Unfortunately, many of these men do not take a "no thank you" to their advances politely which adds to them having the reputation of being annoyances.
Unfortunately, many of these men behave as if the women are the ones with the issue (uptight, not real dommes, not open minded) because we're not interested in such a situation where we already know the person in question is a liar and a cheat, that we don't think that being a piece on the side is appealing, that we feel we deserve MORE out of a relationship that a married man has to offer. Rather than accept a polite "no thank you", these men turn around and insult women, are derogative towards women, follow women around who've said no pestering them to change their minds, etc.
There are a few lifestyle Dommes that for whatever reason are ok with having married men serve them - but you have to understand that the competition for such a position amongst the married men is absolutely HUGE because there are so many married men in that position. So your problem becomes twofold - finding a Domme who is actually willing to put up with such a situation, then being the head of the pack of all the other married men who want that position. You really will need to be able to offer something overwhelmingly marvelous to get such a position.
There's a reason why business is booming for good prodommes.
One of the main issues that I'm seeing here is a fundamental lack of understanding of Dommes. If "being submissive" means that person is here for our pleasure, "to submit" to our will, then why are we the villains/fake/close minded because we have realistic standards that we want those that serve us to meet? Meet the standards or move along; don't expect us to change them to accomodate you because you have these desires and fantasies you think we're somehow obligated to meet.
I think you have to figure out what wonderful qualities and companionship that YOU have to offer that might attract such a person and find a way to display that, rather than getting snarky and deciding it's somehow someone else's fault and issue because they're not interested in you. This bitterness towards women and Dommes that you display quite regularly on the boards is only going to separate you from any chances of finding what you actually want.
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