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What to inspect on a first vist - 3/15/2006 5:34:41 AM

gloriousangel

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Only new to the scene what happens at the first visit of a master what is expected of me and how do i please him?

any help from masters out there

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RE: What to inspect on a first vist - 3/15/2006 5:43:25 AM

MstrssPassion

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I assume you are speaking of a first time face to face meeting...

What happens?
That is easily answered... only what you agree to.

You ask, how do I please him? Hmmm, that sounds more like planning on playing upon a first meeting. This really isn't advisable.

My advise would be, talk in great detail prior to a first meeting. If you find compatibility with a person, plan on a simple lunch, dinner or cup of coffee somewhere & talk more. I would not plan a first date/play date. One sign of respect a dominant can offer is to show patience. If this dominant is pushing you into a physical interaction then he/she most likely is not respectful to learning about you or may not respect personal limits.

I know... a vague post in reply to a vague post.

< Message edited by MstrssPassion -- 3/15/2006 5:44:21 AM >

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RE: What to inspect on a first vist - 3/15/2006 6:11:35 AM

Padriag

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quote:

ORIGINAL: gloriousangel

Only new to the scene what happens at the first visit of a master what is expected of me and how do i please him?

any help from masters out there

Reasonable expectations on a first face to face would be to get acquainted in person, perhaps over coffee or dinner. Play should not be expected on a first visit or at least not in the first 24 hrs if its an extended visit. The reason being is to give you both time to decide if you really want to proceed with things. Most first meetings are really just a friendly meeting to verify the other person is who you thought they were online and that the same chemistry exists in person. There's no shame in calling things off after a first meeting, sometimes you just don't feel the same in person as you thought you did online for any of a variety of reasons.

As for how to please him, on a first meeting its pretty basic. Make an effort to look presentable... you don't have to show up in an evening gown, but do dress nice, the effort will show and that counts. Be honest about yourself and the way you present yourself. Be polite, use good etiquette. Keep in mind his pleasure comes first, when in doubt about what that might be, ask him. Keep in mind that while you want to make a good first impression, this is only a meeting, you are still responsible for you and its your job to protect the property (yourself), so don't do anything unsafe. Be humble, be good company, be able to offer topics of conversation as well as participate in what he likes to discuss. Be gracious, even when you have to say no (and it happens, remember, protect the property). Try to end things on a positive note, especially if you feel you want to seem him again, give him something to remember you by (a nice gesture, a simple gift, a note slipped into a pocket when he wasn't looking, etc.).

That's about it... for the most part treat it as a first date, with some submissiveness on your part added in, that's really all it is. And just like your mom used to tell you, don't give away the farm on the first date!

Good luck and have fun!

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RE: What to inspect on a first vist - 3/15/2006 6:16:08 AM

cillydom

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Treat is like a first date in the nilla world
speak your mind
go as you like
and expect any normal curtsey
if he cant accept this on a first date, you wouldn’t want to stay anyway

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RE: What to inspect on a first vist - 3/15/2006 6:21:26 AM

RavenMuse

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First visit.... What do I expect of the girl. Not that much in one sense and a great deal in another.

I prefer to have a first meeting where both people can go away afterward and clearly think through what they want afterwards. Much easier when folks are local rather than having to travel any great distance. I preffer to meet for a drink or a coffee a chat and that is IT, nothing more... then we can talk about if there is to maybe be anything more on a second meeting even if that is just the next day. Tha is the not a lot bit....

I expect her to have made some effort to make a good first impression, not turn up like she has just been dragged through a hedge backwards! I expect her to be polite and I expect her to make at least some effort with the conversation. I am not running an interview for a job when the 'candidate' is there just to answer my questions. If we are getting on well then even if she is a bit shy at first, if there isn't any real conversation that first meeting, if I haven't seen enough of HER to see if there is any possible spark between us, then there isn't likely to BE a second meeting.

I expect her to have some thought toward her own safety and not be too swept up in the fantasy that she is rushing headlong into the situation. The first meeting WILL be somewhere public and the first time we are going to be in private then I expect her to have a safecall! *I* know I am not Hanibal Lector, she only HOPES I'm not!

Past that...its all about the spark and negotiation. If things move forward then they have to go at whatever speed is comfortable for BOTH people.

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RE: What to inspect on a first vist - 3/15/2006 6:42:17 AM

gloriousangel

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orginally i was on this board as another name.

My first master said we would met in a pub and that went really well and I told him everything that he needed to know. So then he asked me if I knew anywhere we I could be examined. Is this normal on a first visit. Where the examination took place was a public park and we nearly got caught.

Obviously i am concerned about my safety

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RE: What to inspect on a first vist - 3/15/2006 6:52:01 AM

RavenMuse

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quote:

ORIGINAL: gloriousangel

orginally i was on this board as another name.

My first master said we would met in a pub and that went really well and I told him everything that he needed to know. So then he asked me if I knew anywhere we I could be examined. Is this normal on a first visit. Where the examination took place was a public park and we nearly got caught.

Obviously i am concerned about my safety

Would it be normal for me?.... no!
For someone else.... ask them but I suspect that might be in the minority.

Bottom line, if you are not comfortable in agreeing to it, don't do it. If they try pushing after you say no... They are not the person you are looking for!

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RE: What to inspect on a first vist - 3/15/2006 7:01:42 AM

JohnWarren

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quote:

ORIGINAL: gloriousangel

orginally i was on this board as another name.

My first master said we would met in a pub and that went really well and I told him everything that he needed to know. So then he asked me if I knew anywhere we I could be examined. Is this normal on a first visit. Where the examination took place was a public park and we nearly got caught.

Obviously i am concerned about my safety

Examined? You mean like your naughty parts and all?

I'll go with most other people. If you haven't met this person before, the first meeting should be just getting to know each other... and I don't mean "does my thingy fit in yours."

Meet in public, talk, go away and think about what you've learned.

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RE: What to inspect on a first vist - 3/15/2006 7:10:50 AM

ownedgirlie

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quote:

My first master said we would met in a pub and that went really well and I told him everything that he needed to know. So then he asked me if I knew anywhere we I could be examined. Is this normal on a first visit. Where the examination took place was a public park and we nearly got caught.

i can't really answer about a first meet, as my first face-to-face meeting seems to be out of the "norm." You didn't say how long you had known him or had been talking to him. If the relationship was extremely new, i have suspicions that the guy wanted to have a kink of his fulfilled. Public usage seems, on the surface, a bit odd for a first meet. Then again if you had been talking for months and had an established relationship where he had examined what your reaction to such a thing might be, then maybe it's not so odd.

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RE: What to inspect on a first vist - 3/15/2006 7:17:19 AM

gloriousangel

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Yes he wanted to examine me all over.

We spoke on msn and yahoo first where we chatted and I played for him on cam. I dont agree with him touching me on the first visit as it is not right. I think he was just after the kinky side of me. Doing it outside needs a lot of planning and organising.

He was doing something to me at the time and then I had to tell him to stop as I saw a person walking there dog. I asked him nicely to stop and he did I used the safety word. Which is relevant in this life-style.

I am just very concerned about this.

Thank you for all your helpful replies

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RE: What to inspect on a first vist - 3/15/2006 7:23:12 AM

Heinz

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quote:

ORIGINAL: gloriousangel

orginally i was on this board as another name.

My first master said we would met in a pub and that went really well and I told him everything that he needed to know. So then he asked me if I knew anywhere we I could be examined. Is this normal on a first visit. Where the examination took place was a public park and we nearly got caught.

Obviously i am concerned about my safety

Yes you must be concerned about your safety, but more then in one way!!!!
When I meet a slavegril for the fist time, we only talk about ouwer common desires and possibilitys. Eventuely we discus the subbielist.
The next time we meet at home or in a hotel, but not in a public park.

Master Heinz

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RE: What to inspect on a first vist - 3/15/2006 7:23:44 AM

fastlane

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RE: What to inspect on a first visit.

I would inspect you from head to toe.....and hope you matched the pictures

What you should expect from me, would be courtesy, politeness and mutual understanding. I too would expect this from you.

Good luck and stop playing in the park.....that's where my kids play ; ) Kevin

< Message edited by fastlane -- 3/15/2006 7:26:55 AM >

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RE: What to inspect on a first vist - 3/15/2006 7:36:52 AM

RavenMuse

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*Sprays Kevin with water* BAD Kevin! Down boy!

OP: OK just noticed your a fellow Brit so it isn't some cultural thing in play here. From a fellow Brit.... sweetheart, he wasn't interested in YOU! Just an arsehole kinkster out for kicks!

Unless there is more that you haven't said about the situation.

That IS not the norm and frankly WASN'T safe! First meeting... secluded enough for that examination... you are IN DANGER! Luckaly you where able to walk away THAT TIME!

Don't be a doormat. If it is something unsafe, you haven't agreed to it or you are uncomfortable with it... Then stand your ground!

If after the first meeting, you submit to that sort of thing ...BECAUSE you are comfortable with him and feel you can trust him, then fine.

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RE: What to inspect on a first vist - 3/15/2006 7:39:01 AM

gloriousangel

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I do not play in the parks anymore. It was in a big park called sutton park.

Re subbielist whats that then does that include likes and dislikes etc.

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RE: What to inspect on a first vist - 3/15/2006 7:48:59 AM

OscarHargraves

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Listen to the advice you have gotten here. Treat this like a first date in the Vanilla world. Yes you should look like your pics that he's seen but he has seen you on camera so he KNOWS what you look like. At this meeting you should be communicating about both his and your wants, desires and needs. You should find out if you really 'click' together and you should especially use this time to decide if he is really someone you want to submit too.

If he wants to play you that fast, and especially in that way (outdoors) I would be VERY concerned about what he is looking for; a quick kinky bang or a real relationship.

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RE: What to inspect on a first vist - 3/15/2006 7:54:49 AM

gloriousangel

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Thank you very much you have been very helpful

The master I am meeting is on this friday. And he has seen me on cam and he says we have something there. So i have told him about this previous experience and he has been very helpful towards me and he understands.

He said he will bring a toy bag if I want to play then I can tell him. He says we will go to a pub for a chat and then see what happens and to see if we get on with each other.

< Message edited by gloriousangel -- 3/15/2006 7:55:50 AM >

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RE: What to inspect on a first vist - 3/15/2006 8:06:24 AM

JohnWarren

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quote:

ORIGINAL: gloriousangel
He said he will bring a toy bag if I want to play then I can tell him. He says we will go to a pub for a chat and then see what happens and to see if we get on with each other.

I would suggest you tell him to leave the toy bag at home. There is a good chance that your desires will overpower your caution at a first meeting. Take a day or so to think things over. There's plenty of time for play later... just as there is plenty of time for regret if you make a serious mistake.

Given your history, this is a good litmus test. If he's not willing to forgo any change of play on the first meeting, he probably doesn't have your best interests at heart.

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RE: What to inspect on a first vist - 3/15/2006 8:06:30 AM

LadyMorgynn

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When I meet a submissive for the first time, I'm more interested in what is in his HEAD than what is in his pants. I firmly believe the first meeting should be mostly vanilla in flavor, although talk will of course include that subject of most common interest to us both ;) Even on the first trial weekend (I'm seeking a 24/7 slave), I tell the slave up front that I will not be strictly dominating, at least not for most of the time; I want him to have a taste of my life, my home, see how we interact together, I want him to get a "feel" for how his life will be when he lives with me. This also gives him the reality check (if he needs it) that 24/7 does not mean "scening" 24/7, which some seem to think it is. But that first meeting is about two individuals getting together and seeing if they mesh.

As far as safety goes, a park is a nice public venue, but not a *deserted* park! While not being alarmist in general, this guy you saw had no business doing what he did on a first meet ( and nonconsensual too, unless you talked this over before?)... you were nervous and shy and he expected you to just do what he said... on a first meet and without discussion! More shame to him and I believe that, as someone in an earlier post remarked, he was probably just a kinkster out for some thrills, not a Dom.

No matter how badly you want a Master to serve, you MUST be more careful. You have a responsibility to yourself and those who love you. Just keep in mind that you want to be a submissive, not a statistic.

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RE: What to inspect on a first vist - 3/15/2006 8:29:26 AM

gloriousangel

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyMorgynn

When I meet a submissive for the first time, I'm more interested in what is in his HEAD than what is in his pants. I firmly believe the first meeting should be mostly vanilla in flavor, although talk will of course include that subject of most common interest to us both ;) Even on the first trial weekend (I'm seeking a 24/7 slave), I tell the slave up front that I will not be strictly dominating, at least not for most of the time; I want him to have a taste of my life, my home, see how we interact together, I want him to get a "feel" for how his life will be when he lives with me. This also gives him the reality check (if he needs it) that 24/7 does not mean "scening" 24/7, which some seem to think it is. But that first meeting is about two individuals getting together and seeing if they mesh.

As far as safety goes, a park is a nice public venue, but not a *deserted* park! While not being alarmist in general, this guy you saw had no business doing what he did on a first meet ( and nonconsensual too, unless you talked this over before?)... you were nervous and shy and he expected you to just do what he said... on a first meet and without discussion! More shame to him and I believe that, as someone in an earlier post remarked, he was probably just a kinkster out for some thrills, not a Dom.

No matter how badly you want a Master to serve, you MUST be more careful. You have a responsibility to yourself and those who love you. Just keep in mind that you want to be a submissive, not a statistic.

Thank you Ladymorgyrn.

That is very good and to the point.

Yes doing it in a park is for humiliatation but i did not feel safe and yes you are right my safety comes first in any meeting that i do have.

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RE: What to inspect on a first vist - 3/15/2006 8:47:47 AM

LadyMorgynn

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quote:

ORIGINAL: gloriousangel
Yes doing it in a park is for humiliatation but i did not feel safe and yes you are right my safety comes first in any meeting that i do have.

Keep in mind that I'm not suggesting to never play in a park! But NOT for a first meeting and... until/unless you're in a LTR relationship with someone and it's within the scope of your mutual understanding... it should be negotiated first, and your concerns about privacy and safety (and possibly legalities) should be discussed.

And even then, care should be taken in choosing a place where no CHILD could accidentally come close enough to see you, and I'm not talking about for your sake. This man you met with was just totally irresponsible, and I do sincerely hope that you are not continuing to see him :(

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