Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

Do all Mistress's / Masters use pain


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> Do all Mistress's / Masters use pain Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Do all Mistress's / Masters use pain - 12/9/2009 7:14:17 PM   
MistressMaster85


Posts: 8
Joined: 11/25/2009
Status: offline 		We are a couple who consider ourselves a Mistress and Master (after a couple of years of her as a sub, she found out she was more dominant) who have been playing (with each other) for almost 3 years. We know pretty much what we are looking for in a sub/slave. My real question as the Mistress, is ..... Do all Dominants use pain (whipping, caning, etc)? I know it is probably a sort of silly question, considering we have never used pain in our relationship. I was just wondering how many more Dominants do not use pain. There are plenty of other ways to please a sub/slave without it. I just worry that because we do not induce pain, that it will be harder to find a sub/slave that won't be a total pain slut.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Do all Mistress's / Masters use pain - 12/9/2009 7:23:21 PM   
breatheasone


Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline 		i consider myself a slave to my Master. i also enjoy physical pain, having said that, being a s-type does not necessarily equal a pain slut.

_____________________________

Romans 10:13,For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
Mike posts in black font
candy posts in pink font

(in reply to MistressMaster85)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Do all Mistress's / Masters use pain - 12/9/2009 7:25:50 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		I used to think it was harder to find a submissive that wasn't into painful things and becasue I am no sadist... I figured it would be difficult for me. But, I have had a lot of emails from submissive's that really only want the pain if their dominant does and mostly they want the d/s and maybe some kink. I was kind of shocked at how many let me know they were around.

I do like some pain play... but if I have someone who really isn't into pain, I am okay with that. I mean, I would miss the spanking and nipple play... or nipple ouchie stuff... but, for the right person, I could give it up and just try to sometimes find a friend who wants a spanking once in a while! lol (She knows who she is!)

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


(in reply to MistressMaster85)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Do all Mistress's / Masters use pain - 12/9/2009 7:29:46 PM   
BKSir


Posts: 4037
Joined: 4/8/2008
From: Salt Lake City, UT
Status: offline 		Not at all.  It still bugs me sometimes to give the pet a swat on the backside in "fun".  I would never wish to strike my pet.  Punishment consists of other things.  An ice cold shower for 3 minutes is effective.  If he has an infraction, we suspend his internet for a period of time.  And to let him know he's disappointed me is about the most painful thing that he can imagine.

Pain is not a necessity whatsoever.  In fact, I've found on a very consistent basis, that reward and kindness foster correct behavior in my pets, far better than pain or fear.


_____________________________

We'll begin with a spin, traveling in a world of my creation. What we'll see will defy explanation.

I am the voices in your head.

BiggKatt Studios

(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Do all Mistress's / Masters use pain - 12/9/2009 7:34:27 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		Ice cold showers? OMG... heartless! lol I would be in tears I tell ya!

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


(in reply to BKSir)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Do all Mistress's / Masters use pain - 12/9/2009 7:34:46 PM   
jennileigh8182


Posts: 173
Joined: 8/1/2009
Status: offline 		From a sub view...*s*...

i don't particularly care for pain.  i like it only so far as some heightened sensations....like from a quick swat, or a moderate bite, a light tug of the hair, some raking of nails...that sort of thing.  But actual pain?  That would make me shut down and just fear my partner.

(in reply to BKSir)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Do all Mistress's / Masters use pain - 12/9/2009 7:42:10 PM   
MistressMaster85


Posts: 8
Joined: 11/25/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BKSir

And to let him know he's disappointed me is about the most painful thing that he can imagine.




I totally agree with this. I answered my own question really when I was typing it earlier. I am always glad to see new ways of punishing without pain. I love these forums. I visit everyday, and usually post a couple of them myself.

(in reply to BKSir)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Do all Mistress's / Masters use pain - 12/9/2009 8:19:23 PM   
AlexandraLynch


Posts: 778
Joined: 3/24/2008
Status: offline 		I certainly can have a relationship with a sub without it. But right now I have a sub who I use only very light pain on (raking nails, biting, nipple pinching), and I have one who enjoys recieving pain and humiliation from his mistress, and that works out very nicely for the occasions when I feel like causing pain. 

_____________________________

I use fastreply. Don't take offence where none is meant.

Just because I'm not a bitch doesn't mean I'm not perfectly capable of making sure you'll be very sorry if you disobey.

(in reply to MistressMaster85)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Do all Mistress's / Masters use pain - 12/9/2009 8:24:00 PM   
LadyDelilahDeb


Posts: 52
Joined: 10/29/2009
Status: offline 		Bondage & Discipline
Dominance & Submission
Sadism & Masochism
Sex

The abbreviations cover a gamut as complex and varied as the color gamut, multiplied by human variation. Not all dominant humans are also sadists. Not all submissive humans are also masochists. Not all masochistic humans are submissive. Not all sadistic humans are dominant. And not all dominant, submissive, sadistic, or masochistic humans are necessarily sexual in their preferred behaviors.

Your mileage WILL vary.

Lady Delilah Deb

_____________________________

"…all acts of love and pleasure are My rituals." —from the Charge of the Goddess
"…the Wicca…raise power from their bodies to give power to the Gods." —from British Traditional lore

(in reply to MistressMaster85)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Do all Mistress's / Masters use pain - 12/9/2009 8:33:40 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyDelilahDeb

Bondage & Discipline
Dominance & Submission
Sadism & Masochism
Sex

The abbreviations cover a gamut as complex and varied as the color gamut, multiplied by human variation. Not all dominant humans are also sadists. Not all submissive humans are also masochists. Not all masochistic humans are submissive. Not all sadistic humans are dominant. And not all dominant, submissive, sadistic, or masochistic humans are necessarily sexual in their preferred behaviors.

Your mileage WILL vary.

Lady Delilah Deb


LOL... wow that was a twister... I keep picturing a submissive having to say that really fast at least three times! I think I'm tired, but I did enjoy the thought. lol Thanks!

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


(in reply to LadyDelilahDeb)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Do all Mistress's / Masters use pain - 12/9/2009 8:50:55 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		OP, I'm not sure I understand your question... there is pain and there is pain.

In some relationships, I have used pain for punishment as warranted.  In some, I have avoided its use.  In all my D/s relationships, I have used pain - sometimes very light pain - as play and sometimes for foreplay.


_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Do all Mistress's / Masters use pain - 12/9/2009 10:01:30 PM   
Arrogance


Posts: 185
Joined: 7/29/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

I used to think it was harder to find a submissive that wasn't into painful things and becasue I am no sadist... I figured it would be difficult for me.


Teach my lady friend to not be a sadist, please!

That's something you can teach, right?

(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Do all Mistress's / Masters use pain - 12/9/2009 10:30:23 PM   
Andalusite


Posts: 2492
Joined: 1/25/2009
Status: offline 		There are a lot of people here who do D/s and possibly bondage but not S/M. I'm the opposite - when I was looking, I was open to a D/s or a kinky egalitarian relationship with S/M and bondage but no power exchange, but not one with nobody getting any physical pain of at least mild sorts, and preferably more. I'm a switch, so I'm flexible, but if I'm dating somebody, at least one of us is going to get hurt in fun ways. What I don't get are the D/s people who then turn around and call the S/M folks "vanilla" when they don't even give or get a little swat or a bite!

(in reply to Arrogance)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Do all Mistress's / Masters use pain - 12/10/2009 12:04:37 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Today I do, but that wasn't always the case.  I tend to think that some of the folks who know Me now would get a very good chuckle out of the fact that I had absolutely no interest in sadism when I first started out.  The problem with this was that I was paired with someone who did have a taste for masochism. 

The point of which is that it's a compatibility issue.  There are a good number of submissives out there who aren't masochists at all and would be very happy in a situation where the person in charge isn't interested in administering pain.  There are plenty of folks out there who have a wide array of different interests.  Some are happy within an authority dynamic that has nothing to do with the S/m part.




_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Andalusite)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Do all Mistress's / Masters use pain - 12/10/2009 12:07:51 AM   
WyldHrt


Posts: 6412
Joined: 6/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

Teach my lady friend to not be a sadist, please!

No.

-SadisticSubbie


_____________________________

"MotherFUCKER!" is NOT a safeword!!"- Steel
"We've had complaints about 'orgy noises'. This is not the neighborhood for that kind of thing"- PVE Cop

Resident "Hypnotic Eyes", "Cleavage" and "Toy Whore"
Subby Mafia, VAA Posse & Team Troll!

(in reply to Arrogance)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Do all Mistress's / Masters use pain - 12/10/2009 12:10:19 AM   
WyldHrt


Posts: 6412
Joined: 6/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

I tend to think that some of the folks who know Me now would get a very good chuckle out of the fact that I had absolutely no interest in sadism when I first started out.

Having been on the receiving end with you, I certainly do!


_____________________________

"MotherFUCKER!" is NOT a safeword!!"- Steel
"We've had complaints about 'orgy noises'. This is not the neighborhood for that kind of thing"- PVE Cop

Resident "Hypnotic Eyes", "Cleavage" and "Toy Whore"
Subby Mafia, VAA Posse & Team Troll!

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Do all Mistress's / Masters use pain - 12/10/2009 12:18:17 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: WyldHrt

quote:

I tend to think that some of the folks who know Me now would get a very good chuckle out of the fact that I had absolutely no interest in sadism when I first started out.

Having been on the receiving end with you, I certainly do!


Yes, but My eyes certainly didn't light up as brightly back then. 

Not to mention, it's a hell of a lot more fun.

Miss you.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to WyldHrt)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Do all Mistress's / Masters use pain - 12/10/2009 12:25:00 AM   
WyldHrt


Posts: 6412
Joined: 6/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

Yes, but My eyes certainly didn't light up as brightly back then. 
Not to mention, it's a hell of a lot more fun.

They sure do now, I have pics! And I'm pretty sure You were having fun... I sure was!
quote:

Miss you.

Miss You, too!!

_____________________________

"MotherFUCKER!" is NOT a safeword!!"- Steel
"We've had complaints about 'orgy noises'. This is not the neighborhood for that kind of thing"- PVE Cop

Resident "Hypnotic Eyes", "Cleavage" and "Toy Whore"
Subby Mafia, VAA Posse & Team Troll!

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Do all Mistress's / Masters use pain - 12/10/2009 12:35:56 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Oh good, because I may be back your way rather soon.

And on that happy note, I will wish you and yours a goodnight.

Now returning you to your regularly scheduled thread, as a wonderful smile is on My face and lovely memories fill My head.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to WyldHrt)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Do all Mistress's / Masters use pain - 12/10/2009 12:41:53 AM   
ElectraGlide


Posts: 1246
Joined: 11/25/2005
From: Maryland
Status: offline 		No. I do not administer pain. I do administer play which is a sensation that gives pleasure, which is a step below pain. Easy does it, find the fine line inbetween light and harsh, lol. As far as punishment you do not have to give pain, my Slave knows when I am unhappy about a situation, I can lecture my way through it and come up with a creative punishment that has nothing to do with pain. There is a such thing as a Service only Submissive that has no interest in BDSM play.

_____________________________

www.starhillcreations.com

(in reply to WyldHrt)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> Do all Mistress's / Masters use pain Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.078