LadyPact
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I want to say something on both of these, so I'm going to separate them.
quote:
ORIGINAL: BelleMajia
Recently, I've been participating more in various "lifestyle" forums and chatting with potential partners.
As a result, I've been wondering how other people define "in the lifestyle"?
My question is mainly about those getting to know you conversations where we discuss how long we've "been in the lifestyle".
Are there common bench marks or milestones along our journeys where we consider ourselves "in the lifestyle"?
Is it when you first fantasized about bdsm? Bought or read your first book? First played with bondage?
I use the term 'in the lifestyle' to associate those activities and associations that are a part of My life. I don't think one can base it on when they got an interest or even started reading about it. I think acts of participation have more weight in the definition than reading about them.
I don't know so much about particular milestones. I tend to think that is more individual definition than a commonly accepted one. If we're talking about just BDSM without any reference to D/s or M/s. In My opinion, if someone is participating in bondage, discipline, sadism, or masochism, it's a far different thing than being involved in a dynamic.
quote:
ORIGINAL: Acer49
Question: How long have you been in the lifestyle?
Answer: 25 years
Question: Really? Did your partner live with you?
Answer: Well, No
Question: Oh, How many relations have you had?
Answer: One
Question: Wow, How long was it
Answer: Well, it was actually only 3 months
Question: I am sorry, How long ago was it?
Answer: Well it was 24 years ago
There are alot of people that talk a good game, but they have little or no actual experiece. Just because one says they have all this "experiece" one needs to inquire as what that experience actually is. Simply giving yourself a title, going to munches or holding up the walls at major events does not give you experience. Although I suppose, you could say you are in the lifestyle
This part really interested Me, so it might make for some interesting discussion. I have two different approaches to this that I thought may be looked at in a different way. I'd like to offer a different perspective.
I've been married to My other half for approximately eight years and nine months. During that time, he's been deployed or some other such thing for around a total of two years and six months. So, have I really been married for eight years and nine months or really only married for six years and three months?
The same can be said of My current M/s dynamic, which has been in existence for coming up on three years and collared for over two. Should I only count the time that he's actually lived with Me? Maybe I should take it from the sum of the total of time he's spent with Me, such as those periods where he lived ten minutes away from Me, but did maintain his own sleeping quarters in another location that wasn't under My roof? How would you suggest I make My calculations regarding the time that he's deployed, but I'm still active within the community, fully participating in S/m with others, attending events and so on?
_____________________________
The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT
Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD
Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.
Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread
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How do you define "in the lifestyle"? - 
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RE: How do you define "in the lifestyle"? - 
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