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RE: Expectations - 3/17/2006 7:24:02 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MrDiscipline44
Wouldn't it be, that a person that can and does refrain from "attempts" to dominante, stops being dominant? And therfore stops being that which one seeks?

Just a point to ponder.

There's a very large difference between "being a dominant" and "being dominant in relation to someone/acting overtly dominant towards someone."

And no, not acting overtly dominant or being dominant in relation to someone does NOT make you stop being "a dominant" nor does it stop you from being that which someone might seek.


_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to MrDiscipline44)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Expectations - 3/17/2006 7:37:59 AM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MrDiscipline44

quote:

ORIGINAL: catize
I expect him to refrain from any attempts to dominate until I have agreed to submit.


This, I thought, was an interesting line to find in a list. My dominance is an inherent part of me, of who I am. I could no more refrain from it then I could refrain from existing.

Wouldn't it be, that a person that can and does refrain from "attempts" to dominante, stops being dominant? And therfore stops being that which one seeks?


MD, we seem to both be naturaly quite Dominant in nature and I'm with you on the point of being yourself. However there is a diffrence in how we act toward someone who is not our girl and someone who IS.

Someone who is not better act with the politeness and respect I expect anyone to treat me with else I will simply write them off. However I wouldn't attempt to 'control' them unless she was MINE and had submitted. Which is what I think was being reffered to by catize.

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to MrDiscipline44)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Expectations - 3/17/2006 7:47:42 AM   
OscarHargraves


Posts: 693
Joined: 8/9/2005
Status: offline 		I couldn't have said it better myself. This is what I woule expect the relationship to grow into. The honesty and submissiveneess upfront and the rest would grow and mold and become part of the bigger whole as we came to know each other better. This is exactly what I had have now with my prsent Sub

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Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Expectations - 3/17/2006 8:19:02 AM   
JohnWarren


Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross


quote:

ORIGINAL: MrDiscipline44
Wouldn't it be, that a person that can and does refrain from "attempts" to dominante, stops being dominant? And therfore stops being that which one seeks?

Just a point to ponder.

There's a very large difference between "being a dominant" and "being dominant in relation to someone/acting overtly dominant towards someone."

And no, not acting overtly dominant or being dominant in relation to someone does NOT make you stop being "a dominant" nor does it stop you from being that which someone might seek.



The most dominant person I've ever had the awe of meeting, Lewis Puller, obviously knew how to control his dominance as he was a junior officer for many years.

_____________________________

www.lovingdominant.org

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Expectations - 3/17/2006 8:30:22 AM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: JohnWarren
The most dominant person I've ever had the awe of meeting, Lewis Puller, obviously knew how to control his dominance as he was a junior officer for many years.


Similar experience here. One of the few men I've ever met who I would follow onto a battlefield without questioning the why..... He was my old colour sergeant. Our RSM was a close second... Far more Dominant than any actual Officer I ever met!

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to JohnWarren)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Expectations - 3/17/2006 9:06:52 AM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
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quote:

How is it cheating? If a man presents himself to me as having specific beliefs and desires and needs and wants, and that presentation is equal (or darned close to it) to what I'm seeking, I expect him to BE that individual. All too often, first impressions are faked, and what you end up with is someone completely different from who they claimed to be. So yes, I expect Him to be the man He presented to me when we first met. It's really the only thing of any importance to me.


i was teasing. i completely agree with your answer. You made it so simple, however (which is a good thing) so i was kidding about it.

(in reply to Evanesce)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Expectations - 3/17/2006 9:11:40 AM   
ownedgirlie


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Joined: 2/5/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MrDiscipline44

I expect her to be subservient in her demeanor.



Is this in regard to you, or in general, to everyone? i am curious because some Masters i know prefer their girl to display a subservient demeanor at all times, to all people, and others wish their girl to be subservient only to them. In the context of your answer, i was uncertain about this particular point. Thank you :)

(in reply to MrDiscipline44)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Expectations - 3/17/2006 12:03:44 PM   
truesub4u


Posts: 2949
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline 		Afternoon Level, though I won't bring up your whole post to save space. I want to thank you for your response. Alot of it made sense, and I understand much of what you said. Which again leads to more questions that I will not dwell on now. But it was interresting, as well as informative. As well as others that posted.

I do believe I'll step back... and go into listening mode. Thank you again.

Jessica

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Wisdom is knowing what to do next, Skill is knowing how to do it, and Virtue is doing it.

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Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Expectations - 3/17/2006 12:06:56 PM   
LATEXBABY64


Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline 		there is a saying a biblical one if you give your pearls to the swine they will just trample them over.

which means if you give the best of what you are to someone who does not apericate that it will never be love or disired
tradgic thought i would take the time to get to know someone on a ll levels never rush know who and what they are
emotional
peronally
fincinaly
and family wise their past plays their future

(in reply to truesub4u)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Expectations - 3/17/2006 1:46:45 PM   
MrDiscipline44


Posts: 1776
Joined: 1/5/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie
Is this in regard to you,

You better believe it.

quote:

or in general, to everyone?

If I found it pleasing to have her be subserviant to one and all then I will. If I wish her subserviance to be only to me then I have it as such as well.

_____________________________

If you love somebody, you have to be willing to break them.

Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach.

Have you slapped your slave today?

(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Expectations - 3/17/2006 2:43:03 PM   
catize


Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MrDiscipline44

quote:

ORIGINAL: catize
I expect him to refrain from any attempts to dominate until I have agreed to submit.


This, I thought, was an interesting line to find in a list. My dominance is an inherent part of me, of who I am. I could no more refrain from it then I could refrain from existing.

Wouldn't it be, that a person that can and does refrain from "attempts" to dominante, stops being dominant? And therfore stops being that which one seeks?

Just a point to ponder.


As others have responded, to be dominant does not mean one is 'a' dominant.
I am dominant in many social and work situations; this does not negate my submission to DG.

_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to MrDiscipline44)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Expectations - 3/17/2006 2:50:14 PM   
truesub4u


Posts: 2949
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: catize

As others have responded, to be dominant does not mean one is 'a' dominant.
I am dominant in many social and work situations; this does not negate my submission to DG.


Yep, being a single mother, to see me on a every day basis, everything about me screams Dominant. But being far from that on the inside.. i've fool quite a few.

_____________________________

Wisdom is knowing what to do next, Skill is knowing how to do it, and Virtue is doing it.

(in reply to catize)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Expectations - 3/17/2006 6:24:26 PM   
catize


Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: truesub4u



Yep, being a single mother, to see me on a every day basis, everything about me screams Dominant. But being far from that on the inside.. i've fool quite a few.


Yes, life would be pretty chaotic if we were submissive all the time!


_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to truesub4u)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Expectations - 3/17/2006 7:39:07 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
I expect my girls to be true to their inner selves and be commited to demonstrating behaviors that are consistent with this inner self.



_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

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Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Expectations - 3/17/2006 8:25:11 PM   
catize


Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MrDiscipline44



This, I thought, was an interesting line to find in a list. My dominance is an inherent part of me, of who I am. I could no more refrain from it then I could refrain from existing.

Wouldn't it be, that a person that can and does refrain from "attempts" to dominante, stops being dominant? And therfore stops being that which one seeks?

Just a point to ponder.


I have been thinking about this a bit more. No, I was not seeking someone who had to dominate all the time, but I sure met more than a few of them! One example which I believes illustrates my point, the dom and I were talking on the phone and the conversation was coming to a close. He said 'good bye' and I said 'good bye'. This led to a 5 minute lecture on his view that as the dominant, he would always have the last word and if I said good bye last I was not submissive enough. Guess what I said...........'good bye!'
I would suggest to you that there are times when to insist on displaying your dominance is not the prudent choice. I have always sought a partner who accepted me as a person first and as a submissive second. In turn, before I could decide to offer my submission, I needed to know what sort of person he was behind the title.

_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to MrDiscipline44)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Expectations - 3/17/2006 9:11:41 PM   
MrDiscipline44


Posts: 1776
Joined: 1/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: catize
I have been thinking about this a bit more. No, I was not seeking someone who had to dominate all the time, but I sure met more than a few of them! One example which I believes illustrates my point, the dom and I were talking on the phone and the conversation was coming to a close. He said 'good bye' and I said 'good bye'. This led to a 5 minute lecture on his view that as the dominant, he would always have the last word and if I said good bye last I was not submissive enough. Guess what I said...........'good bye!'
I would suggest to you that there are times when to insist on displaying your dominance is not the prudent choice. I have always sought a partner who accepted me as a person first and as a submissive second. In turn, before I could decide to offer my submission, I needed to know what sort of person he was behind the title.


Well that was an interesting story, catize. But what does it have to do with me and my questions? So you weren't submissive enough for that Dominant, it's good that you two learned that before it got to more serious situations.
And I would say to you that I don't insist on displaying my dominance. I am dominant. For some, it's not something you switch on or off or just a label you slap on because you feel like it. It transends just a sexual orientation and is part of ones being.

_____________________________

If you love somebody, you have to be willing to break them.

Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach.

Have you slapped your slave today?

(in reply to catize)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Expectations - 3/17/2006 10:00:39 PM   
catize


Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline 		It was an apparently poorly understood illustration of my definition of one who is dominant 'all the time'. Whether I was submissive enough for him is not the point; he was too domineering for me.
It is not possible to be dominant in every situation, nor is it realistic. Your assertion that you could not refrain from dominating a potential submissive because it would make you 'stop being dominant' appears to me as an unneccessary display.
A quietly self-assured dominant who knows what he/she is capable of in his/her chosen title (i.e. top/dom/me/master/mistress) does not need to reiterate ad nauseum what they want others to believe about their personality.

_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to MrDiscipline44)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Expectations - 3/18/2006 5:41:19 AM   
MrDiscipline44


Posts: 1776
Joined: 1/5/2005
Status: offline 		The same can be said about the submissive that needs in reiterate her postion on submission and dominance through the illistration of a story. You did not need to do it, your postion was said for you by others as you said in your first reply to me. The self assured submissive would have left it at that. And just as with them, I would have left it at that.

quote:

Whether I was submissive enough for him is not the point; he was too domineering for me.

You don't think that you not being submissive enough matters? I think one has a direct corelation with the other. Do you think that had he not been too domineering, that it might have worked out even if you were not submissive enough for him?

_____________________________

If you love somebody, you have to be willing to break them.

Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach.

Have you slapped your slave today?

(in reply to catize)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Expectations - 3/18/2006 6:16:58 AM   
xxblushesxx


Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		My expectations of a dominant I would consider serving?

Honesty
Integrity
Humour
Flexibility
Openness
Strength
A heart that is open to possibilities

Oh...and...someone who would put up with me.

(in reply to MrDiscipline44)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Expectations - 3/18/2006 6:23:07 AM   
MrDiscipline44


Posts: 1776
Joined: 1/5/2005
Status: offline 		I'm mildly shocked, my dear blushes. You don't have chocolate chip cookies anywhere in your expectations. And here I have this whole freshly baked batch. Guess I'm not the Dominant for you then. Too bad for me.

_____________________________

If you love somebody, you have to be willing to break them.

Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach.

Have you slapped your slave today?

(in reply to xxblushesxx)
Profile   Post #: 60
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