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Strength/Weakness: Blowjobs - 12/16/2009 12:08:40 AM

MistressOfGa

Posts: 2929
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Hi everyone,

I havent started a thread in a very long time so I thought I would give it a shot

I can't tell you how many times I have read threads in which someone will comment "If a Domina sucks cock, then she is submitting or bottoming to her submissive".

I am a Domina and I love to suck cock. It is my choice to do so because I enjoy it, if he enjoys it too, then groovy for both of us, but I have no shame in admitting that I am a highly sexual woman who enjoys a good cock sucking session, with a bit of cbt thrown in for good measure

I absolutely have no problem lying between his legs and just doing what I love to do. Do I think it makes me submissive to him? Hell no. It is still MY decision as to whether I do it or not, so how is choosing to do what *I* want to do, being submissive or being a bottom?

My question to the Domina's here is this. Do you believe that by sucking your subs cock, you are somehow submitting to him? If so, why?

If submissives/bottoms want to answer this, my question for you is this. What are your feelings about your Mistress giving you a blowjob? Does it show weakness on her part in your mind at all?

This post was inspired by Anne. *Hugs!!* http://www.collarchat.com/m_2890348/mpage_3/tm.htm#

MoGa

Edited to add the link to Anne's comment.

< Message edited by MistressOfGa -- 12/16/2009 12:14:06 AM >

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RE: Strength/Weakness: Blowjobs - 12/16/2009 12:25:40 AM

WyldHrt

Posts: 6412
Joined: 6/5/2008
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While I can't say how I'd feel about my Mistress giving me a blowjob (2 issues with that

), I can say that a Dom who gives oral is OK by me..... maybe better than OK

As for doing so making him less dominant in my eyes.... nope. He's doing what he wants to do, how he wants to do it. How would that make him submissive? He can stop anytime he wants, including just before I orgasm (I *hate* when they do that!), so how am I in control?

Oh, and should he decide to "finish me off", it's a little hard not to feel submissive when the only thing you can say is, "PleaseSirmayIcumpleasespleasepleaseSirmayIcumpleasePLeasePLEASE!?!?!??"

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RE: Strength/Weakness: Blowjobs - 12/16/2009 12:38:52 AM

MistressOfGa

Posts: 2929
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lol Wyd! You are absolutely right about being able to stop when *I* want to. Oh yum yum!! And the look on his face is priceless. I can see his heartbeat in his stomach

I LOVE the new photo! You look fabulicious!

MoGa

Edited to wave at lushy! ~Waves~

< Message edited by MistressOfGa -- 12/16/2009 12:40:06 AM >

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RE: Strength/Weakness: Blowjobs - 12/16/2009 12:47:36 AM

MistressOfGa

Posts: 2929
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Wyld,
Something crossed my mind while reading your response. Is there a double standard when it comes to a Dominant pleasing his sub by going down on her as opposed to a Domina going down on her sub? If a Domina drops to her knees and starts sucking her subs cock, is that not as acceptable as when a male Dominant does the same for his sub? There is almost a stigma when it comes to that.
As children, little girls learn that it is slutty behavior for them to give men blowjobs. *I* wasn't taught that, as it was a given in my childhood home. But I know that many girls are taught that it isn't ladylike. I may be hijacking my own thread (Imagine that!) but I am curious as to whether it is socially/morally acceptable for a male to orally please his sub as opposed to a woman pleasing hers. Make sense? I hope so, it is late lol

MoGa

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RE: Strength/Weakness: Blowjobs - 12/16/2009 1:04:46 AM

WyldHrt

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Joined: 6/5/2008
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Yes, it makes sense. I don't see a difference myself, but I have noticed a slight double standard when this topic is responded to on the boards.

quote:

And the look on his face is priceless. I can see his heartbeat in his stomach

Meanie!

quote:

I LOVE the new photo! You look fabulicious!

Thanks for the compliment!

_____________________________

"MotherFUCKER!" is NOT a safeword!!"- Steel
"We've had complaints about 'orgy noises'. This is not the neighborhood for that kind of thing"- PVE Cop

Resident "Hypnotic Eyes", "Cleavage" and "Toy Whore"
Subby Mafia, VAA Posse & Team Troll!

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RE: Strength/Weakness: Blowjobs - 12/16/2009 1:18:02 AM

MistressOfGa

Posts: 2929
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quote:

Meanie!

But of course

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RE: Strength/Weakness: Blowjobs - 12/16/2009 1:27:21 AM

WyldHrt

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Joined: 6/5/2008
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quote:

But of course

I would have said "Sadist!" but... well, ya know....

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"MotherFUCKER!" is NOT a safeword!!"- Steel
"We've had complaints about 'orgy noises'. This is not the neighborhood for that kind of thing"- PVE Cop

Resident "Hypnotic Eyes", "Cleavage" and "Toy Whore"
Subby Mafia, VAA Posse & Team Troll!

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RE: Strength/Weakness: Blowjobs - 12/16/2009 1:30:25 AM

MistressOfGa

Posts: 2929
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quote:

ORIGINAL: WyldHrt

quote:

But of course

I would have said "Sadist!" but... well, ya know....

You say that like it is a bad thang <s> and............I DO know

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RE: Strength/Weakness: Blowjobs - 12/16/2009 1:48:28 AM

Elizabeth666

Posts: 288
Joined: 10/14/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: WyldHrt

While I can't say how I'd feel about my Mistress giving me a blowjob (2 issues with that ), I can say that a Dom who gives oral is OK by me..... maybe better than OK
As for doing so making him less dominant in my eyes.... nope. He's doing what he wants to do, how he wants to do it. How would that make him submissive? He can stop anytime he wants, including just before I orgasm (I *hate* when they do that!), so how am I in control?

Oh, and should he decide to "finish me off", it's a little hard not to feel submissive when the only thing you can say is, "PleaseSirmayIcumpleasespleasepleaseSirmayIcumpleasePLeasePLEASE!?!?!??"

Totally agree :)

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RE: Strength/Weakness: Blowjobs - 12/16/2009 2:29:19 AM

LadyPact

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I don't feel submissive from it. (Not to mention, I'd like to know exactly how I'm supposed to feel submissive in the first place.) I've never considered oral sex any way you put it to be undommely in any way.

Not only can you count Me among the Dommes that enjoy it, you can add Me to the list of those who think, if anything, there's actually a lot of power in it. CBT was already mentioned, plus there is always tease and denial. What more compromising position could the boy be in should I chose to bite him? LOL.

If it's turning Me on, and I'm the one who decides whether or not he's going to get that kind of gratification, it seems to Me that I'm still the one in control. I also happen to be damn good at it.

I don't think you'll get too many male s types to say they think it's a submissive thing for a Domme to do. Unless, of course, they don't want to ever get head from their Domme again.

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RE: Strength/Weakness: Blowjobs - 12/16/2009 3:47:21 AM

MistressOfGa

Posts: 2929
Status: offline

lol LP, this is very true. But I thought for shits and giggles it might be worth a shot to get some honest answers from the male s types

I did have one male sub tell me that I was a "closet submissive" because I enjoyed it. I guess I don't need to tell you where I told him he could go

Hugs, I have missed our all nighters around here. Seems things don't really change much, no matter which coast you are on! hehe

MoGa

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RE: Strength/Weakness: Blowjobs - 12/16/2009 4:16:03 AM

Lucienne

Posts: 1175
Joined: 9/5/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressOfGa

If a Domina drops to her knees and starts sucking her subs cock, is that not as acceptable as when a male Dominant does the same for his sub? There is almost a stigma when it comes to that.

Eh, just lay him flat on his back. Then there's no question who's on top. I suspect the stigma is leftover bs from general cultural ideas about bjs. It's "slutty" for teenage girls to run around indiscriminately sucking cock. It's prized for wives to do it to their husbands, and there's no shortage of men who gripe/joke that the BJ is something that disappears soon after marriage.

Culturally, women are taught to think of BJs as something they do for men, not something they can or should enjoy themselves. And a lot of women do apparently dislike sucking cock. From that perspective, a woman sucking cock is a lesser degree of the straight guy who sucks cock just to please his Mistress - he doesn't like the act itself, but he likes that it makes his D happy.

From my perspective, I love sucking cock. And I don't approach it from a - how quickly to I get this guy to cum and get it done with? - angle. I spend a lot of time doing things that I like to do. Linger over the softness and sensitivity, work the surrounding parts, etc. Spit vs. swallow doesn't exist in my world because I usually have other plans for climax. I'd say that getting face fucked is unambiguously a "bottom" thing, but sucking cock is all over the place depending on the parties' attitudes and intent.

I'm tempted to speculate that the idea of BJ as submissive move is promoted by some of the Dommes who fall in the category of "not liking BJs." Because for them, it would be a submissive/ servicey thing to do. And, as is repeatedly demonstrated on these boards, it's so much easier to declare a universal rule than it is to account for one's own attitudes and desires.

ETA- fix typo. linguistically, I understand why the mind would substituted "k" for "g," but I still can't get around how wrong it is to substitute "think" for "thing." The internet is eating my brain!!!

< Message edited by Lucienne -- 12/16/2009 4:22:07 AM >

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RE: Strength/Weakness: Blowjobs - 12/16/2009 5:50:28 AM

Drifa

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From: Rural Texas
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I have several straight vanilla friends who have said that for them, doing a blow job is a huge power trip, because they are in control, their teeth are encircling his most tender part, and they are totally in control of what he feels and whether he comes. That wouldn't be passive or submissive in my book.

And then there's always playing the "Le Mans Driver" game with it as your stickshift while doing the blow job - but guys HATE that, lol.

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RE: Strength/Weakness: Blowjobs - 12/16/2009 6:15:38 AM

lusciouslips19

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Joined: 9/8/2007
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I view this idea of oral sex not being dominant really as closed minded. People who dont like Cock or Pussy and using it as an excuse. I have only spoke to one dominant that felt that way. It was a deal breaker in my book.
Yes, the dominant can do what they want. I find nothing dominant or submissive about wanting to give someone pleasure. A person who finds this act unappealing though can find others who dont like recieving oral sex. I know, hard to believe. I dont know of any man who doesnt want to recieve it. But I do know some woman who dont like it.

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RE: Strength/Weakness: Blowjobs - 12/16/2009 6:20:15 AM

dreamerdreaming

Posts: 2839
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Count me IN!

MoGa, I'm just like you in this regard. LOVE to suck cock over long hours. Its lovely if the boy is restrained in some way, especially in a way that affords him little movement... But if not I'll just have him be still and quiet for me. Of course he is only allowed to cum with my permission, and if he is forbidden to ask permission, and then he cums- that's a nice setup for failure and some sweet funishment... But its more likely that I'll just have him cum on my signal, when I'm ready... MMmmmm...
Love to suck every drop of that sweet cum right down my throat... Or to gather it all in my mouth to feed to him in a kiss is even better.... OMG that is fabulous... No its not submissive of me at all because I am in control, orchestrating everything. I am using him for my pleasure. My kinks are control, objectification and humiliation. So sucking cock fits very nicely with that- it serves my needs well. He is very good and sweet and obedient while I use him, and he cums on command like a good slaveboy should.... YUM....

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RE: Strength/Weakness: Blowjobs - 12/16/2009 9:47:47 AM

LadyHibiscus

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From: Island Of Misfit Toys
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See, for me, sucking cock IS CBT!! My jaw surgery took away about a third of my jaw mobility, so there WILL be teeth if you like it or not! Funny, I don't get a lot of requests...

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RE: Strength/Weakness: Blowjobs - 12/16/2009 10:20:22 AM

PeonForHer

Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: dreamerdreaming

Count me IN!

MoGa, I'm just like you in this regard. LOVE to suck cock over long hours. Its lovely if the boy is restrained in some way, especially in a way that affords him little movement... But if not I'll just have him be still and quiet for me. Of course he is only allowed to cum with my permission, and if he is forbidden to ask permission, and then he cums- that's a nice setup for failure and some sweet funishment... But its more likely that I'll just have him cum on my signal, when I'm ready... MMmmmm...
Love to suck every drop of that sweet cum right down my throat... Or to gather it all in my mouth to feed to him in a kiss is even better.... OMG that is fabulous... No its not submissive of me at all because I am in control, orchestrating everything. I am using him for my pleasure. My kinks are control, objectification and humiliation. So sucking cock fits very nicely with that- it serves my needs well. He is very good and sweet and obedient while I use him, and he cums on command like a good slaveboy should.... YUM....

Oh God, DD - for a second I thought that was one of Mal's posts. Steady, now, steady I say!

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RE: Strength/Weakness: Blowjobs - 12/16/2009 10:43:28 AM

Venatrix

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Joined: 11/28/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

See, for me, sucking cock IS CBT!! My jaw surgery took away about a third of my jaw mobility, so there WILL be teeth if you like it or not! Funny, I don't get a lot of requests...

Maybe it would be easier if you just used a pair of these on the dear boy:
http://www.otherlandtoys.co.uk/chattering-teeth-p-1202.html

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RE: Strength/Weakness: Blowjobs - 12/16/2009 11:14:34 AM

ElanSubdued

Posts: 1511
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MistressOfGa,

quote:

If submissives/bottoms want to answer this, my question for you is this. What are your feelings about your Mistress giving you a blowjob? Does it show weakness on her part in your mind at all?

*extremely quick answer*

When a domme does what she wants to do, I see this as exercising leadership, dominance, power, and choice. Let's turn this around for perspective. When a domme does something she doesn't want to do, but she does anyway because she deems it important in some way, I see this as exercising leadership, dominance, power, and choice. As for blowjobs specifically, if a domme wants to enjoy this themselves and/or pleasure/torment their partner this way, why wouldn't they? They are in control. Even if they're not entirely in control (because their partner has seduced them and pushed their sexual hot buttons), they're still making a choice not to be in control or to go with the moment. Seduction and intimacy are a mutual dance. I see no weakness (and no less dominance) in enjoying a dance one wishes to partake in. Correspondingly, from the submissive side of things, I may use my submissive power and my affection for my partner to give her a rip-roaring orgasm, but this doesn't make me dominant and it doesn't make me the leader.

Elan.

< Message edited by ElanSubdued -- 12/16/2009 11:16:57 AM >

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RE: Strength/Weakness: Blowjobs - 12/16/2009 11:22:05 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
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Plus sometimes it's just loving your partner and wanting them to be happy. In my book this is a good thing.

However, no biting. I prefer he doesn't want to give me oral because he likes biting. And he only has to do that once to have me tense and nervous everytime after for months. Being tense and afraid and being aroused at the same time doesn't happen here. YMMV

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