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New meat needs some info - 12/19/2009 1:11:55 AM   
SoErin


Posts: 5
Joined: 12/18/2009
Status: offline 		As you can tell, im brand new in this scene! Ive been wanting to try being a sub for AGES as for most of my sexual life i have been in charge (most of the guys were either lazy or scared bahaha) also in my job i hold a lot of power and authorituy and i was wondering what sort of things i should/need to know before i have my first experience in this scene! Any help is aprreciated!
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: New meat needs some info - 12/19/2009 1:28:15 AM   
SoErin


Posts: 5
Joined: 12/18/2009
Status: offline 		come on peeps i need help

(in reply to SoErin)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: New meat needs some info - 12/19/2009 1:36:45 AM   
EbonyWood


Posts: 2044
Joined: 7/8/2005
Status: offline 		1. Meat references will dissuade vegetarian Doms.
 
2. Correct spelling, grammar, although not critical, can be unattractive to some who seek an educated submissive or good typist.
 
3. The 'power and authority' (spelling corrected) you hold as a 20 year old is probably less than you think, unless you are Australia's Minister for Defence or something.
 
4. If you've already 'been in charge' then you've had your first experience already.
 
5. Avoid using the term 'scene'.
 
6. Good luck.

(in reply to SoErin)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: New meat needs some info - 12/19/2009 1:58:32 AM   
SoErin


Posts: 5
Joined: 12/18/2009
Status: offline 		Lol didnt even notice the spelling! Had the light off! I work in security so i have a fair amount of authority. When i say in charge, i mean as in when we were getting to business i just took the lead... No dom/sub situations

(in reply to EbonyWood)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: New meat needs some info - 12/19/2009 2:12:35 AM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline 		And keep in mind that it isn't even sunrise yet in the US, so you'll get more answers as time passes.

Advice?

Know yourself.

Be open, but be careful-- lots of good people to be found, but some freaks, too (and not the good kind).

Munches are a good place to meet like-minded people.

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to SoErin)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: New meat needs some info - 12/19/2009 2:13:54 AM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: EbonyWood

1. Meat references will dissuade vegetarian Doms.
 


LOL

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to EbonyWood)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: New meat needs some info - 12/19/2009 3:10:56 AM   
SoErin


Posts: 5
Joined: 12/18/2009
Status: offline 		thanks guys. ill check back again tomorrow and see how it goes

(in reply to Level)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: New meat needs some info - 12/19/2009 3:14:18 AM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline 		You're welcome. And if you can ask any specific questions, that always helps, too.

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to SoErin)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: New meat needs some info - 12/19/2009 3:35:57 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline 		~Fast Reply~

My only real advice is remember this isn't all that different dating in "vanilla-land". You are looking for a person who meets your needs and whose needs you meet. You are allowed to date and look around before making up your mind.

That and don't accept a collar without knowing it's terms. A friend did that once. It was interesting. Not in a good way.

Edited to add: Do some searchs for threads like this. There have been a ton and sometimes people get tired of saying the same thing over and over.

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 12/19/2009 3:36:33 AM >

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to Level)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: New meat needs some info - 12/19/2009 4:40:08 AM   
Justme696


Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline 		AT OP

you don't try to be a sub, you are one..or you are not one

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: New meat needs some info - 12/19/2009 4:50:04 AM   
Aileen1968


Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline 		If you want someone who is intelligent and treats you with respect then you have to show them that you are intelligent and deserve respect. If you want to be used as a piece of meat, then refer to yourself as a piece of meat.

_____________________________



(in reply to SoErin)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: New meat needs some info - 12/19/2009 4:52:07 AM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline
quote:

New meat needs some info

 
Not a good way to start...

*eta:  I see Aileen beat me to it....

< Message edited by sunshinemiss -- 12/19/2009 4:53:02 AM >

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to Aileen1968)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: New meat needs some info - 12/19/2009 4:59:24 AM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline 		Aileen and sunny make a good point; now, if you want to be thought of as meat, that's up to you, there are certainly some that will do so. But, you might be better off saving the "treat me as meat" until after you've found someone that you can trust, and that you want to be with.

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to sunshinemiss)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: New meat needs some info - 12/19/2009 5:05:24 AM   
EbonyWood


Posts: 2044
Joined: 7/8/2005
Status: offline 		"Cmon you big nasty Dom, tenderize me" has a ring to it.
 
"Marinade my ass and grill me"
 
 
(Afterwards they just chewed the fat)

(in reply to Level)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: New meat needs some info - 12/19/2009 5:06:20 AM   
wandersalone


Posts: 4666
Joined: 11/21/2005
Status: offline 		Victorian calendar of kink events
Chains has a monthly play party with a dinner beforehand for people that are interested.  It is tamer and more social than some of the other events so may be a good starting point.  Also if you contact Master Joe or kim before hand or at the door they can arrange for someone to introduce you to some of the others.

Get to know people, don't feel you immediately have to do as someone says because they say they are a dom, trust your instincts etc etc etc

Melbourne has events ever weekend I think so you will have lots to choose from

edited to add.... also it seems patience may not be your strong point so it may help to work on that a little more rather than rushing in unprepared.


< Message edited by wandersalone -- 12/19/2009 5:08:05 AM >

_____________________________

Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter. Martin Luther King
Godmother of the subbie mafia
My all time favourite threads
http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=2002501
http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=790885

(in reply to SoErin)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: New meat needs some info - 12/19/2009 5:06:47 AM   
Aileen1968


Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline 		Hahaha. He did pound my ass with that metal meat tenderizing thing once. That was a funny night.

_____________________________



(in reply to EbonyWood)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: New meat needs some info - 12/19/2009 6:34:59 AM   
vixenkneels


Posts: 94
Joined: 2/5/2005
From: LAKE OF THE OZARKS, MISSOURI
Status: offline 		Be VERY careful what you wish for "meat"...here's the profile of a dominant seeking "meat":

Preference to young female. Meat must be enough good kind, not fat, really perverted.

I search complete maso meat possessing three qualities: extreme love to tortures, to a pain and body destruction, full obedience and 100 % the whore who want the final degradation and constant use by the most perverted ways. I search for all three components. Another does not interest.

So:

No to "soft" limits, "hard" limits etc.

No to problems with leave from your life, parents and no children.

No to questions and care on the future.

No to long conversations - quick relocation.

_____________________________

I am your servant. I shall not be free. You will protect me; you will keep me safe; you will guard me. You will keep me sound; you will protect me from every demon. -- Ancient Egyptian woman's slave contract

(in reply to SoErin)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: New meat needs some info - 12/19/2009 6:57:18 AM   
Lucienne


Posts: 1175
Joined: 9/5/2009
Status: offline 		I thought referring to herself as meat was arch and saucy, but then I'm not a dominant male, so... the ladies are probably right that one should avoid such terminology.

OP, I read your profile and found it to be honest and sweet. From what you've written here and there, it sounds like you might be better off at the start presenting yourself as someone interested in being a bottom rather than a sub. I say this because "sub" has a broad range of meanings for people, and many of them involve an emotional or orientation (e.g. "you don't try to be a sub") component that you don't seem to be expressing here. To an extent, it doesn't matter what you write in your profile, you'll receive a bunch of mail from men who don't read past "female sub." From those emails, you will be exposed to a wide variety of manly D expectation. I'd recommend giving that input little weight. The forums are a better source of information about how different people define their relationships and expectations, if you want to survey the range of possibilities.

You sound like you want an experienced and imaginative lover who takes charge. You want things done to you. And that's great. Your desire to limit the dynamic to the bedroom will be looked down upon by quite a few D types, but that's OK. The chorus around here is "different people want different things." There are plenty of men in the world who want some kinky sex without all the other things involved in a D/s relationship. Basic asshole detection skills apply here just as anywhere else when filtering out men who really do only see you as a piece of meat.

Good luck and have fun!

(in reply to Aileen1968)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: New meat needs some info - 12/19/2009 7:03:30 AM   
Lucienne


Posts: 1175
Joined: 9/5/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: vixenkneels

Be VERY careful what you wish for "meat"...here's the profile of a dominant seeking "meat":


Hahahaha. I bet he has one of the highest spam to sincere email ratios on the site.



(in reply to vixenkneels)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: New meat needs some info - 12/19/2009 7:19:23 AM   
sweetsub1957


Posts: 2201
Joined: 4/28/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

My only real advice is remember this isn't all that different dating in "vanilla-land". You are looking for a person who meets your needs and whose needs you meet. You are allowed to date and look around before making up your mind.

That and don't accept a collar without knowing it's terms. A friend did that once. It was interesting. Not in a good way.


quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

If you want someone who is intelligent and treats you with respect then you have to show them that you are intelligent and deserve respect. If you want to be used as a piece of meat, then refer to yourself as a piece of meat.


quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

Know yourself.

Be open, but be careful-- lots of good people to be found, but some freaks, too (and not the good kind).

Munches are a good place to meet like-minded people.


quote:

ORIGINAL: Justme696

you don't try to be a sub, you are one..or you are not one



What they said.  Also....
(1) Have a safeword.  Sometimes with this stuff, no doesn't always mean no, so a safeword is a word that does always mean no.
(2) Have a safe call.  That is, make an agreement with a friend that you will call her at a certain time to let her know if you are alright or not.  Maybe even agree to use a certain word when you are on the phone with her if things are not okay.
(3) Let a friend know where you will be.  That way, if she has to call the police to go out looking for you, they will know where to at least start looking.

Yeah, yeah.  I know this all sounds paranoid, but I was stupid and didn't know all this when I was starting out.  Let's just say, it was too bad for me.

_____________________________

Member: Lance's Fag Hags.

"That's not just a chip on her shoulder, that's the whole potato!" ~Lady Angelika~

In lowering yourself to talking behind my back, you're perfectly positioned to kiss my ass.

An it harm none, do what ye wilt.

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 20
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