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RE: New meat needs some info - 12/19/2009 9:52:44 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Lots of submissives hold powerful jobs. It's almost axiomatic that someone with heavy responsibilities will want time off to recharge. What does your job have to do with your personality? Nothing.

Figure out what you want. Do you want to do all the housework while he sits and watches tv? Do you want to have openness to talk to him or do you want to have to beg for an audience.? Do you want to be treated like a worthless object or the most precious thing he owns? How much control do you want?

Financial, micromanagement, etc. You need to do a lot of reading, also bdsm checklists, and discover what you need. Because unless you know what you want, you won't get it. And in future, don't have sex with someone you haven't bothered to talk to beforehand, fully dressed, about your sexual needs. If you can't talk about it, then don't do it.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to sweetsub1957)

Post #: 21

RE: New meat needs some info - 12/19/2009 10:01:00 AM

osf

Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline

here's the non pc answer

go out to where you may meet prospective doms, munches , clubs/dungeons, get to know them get into relationships with those that you may find attractive with the understanding that it probably wont work out but youll gain experience and knowledge about yourself and what it may feel like

mistakes will be made but dont let that discourage you, think of it as teen dating where your discovering what life has to offer

hell you may get lucky and find the man of your dreams

dont be afraid to try and fail

(in reply to SoErin)

Post #: 22

RE: New meat needs some info - 12/19/2009 11:26:06 AM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

How is that non-pc? Seemed pretty standard to me.

Edited to add: Don't take me the wrong way - it's good advice. I just don't get what is non-pc about it.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to osf)

Post #: 23

RE: New meat needs some info - 12/19/2009 11:28:20 AM

osf

Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
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its been my experience that most advice seems to be take no chances

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 24

RE: New meat needs some info - 12/19/2009 11:34:00 AM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
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Well I can't say that's been my experience.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to osf)

Post #: 25

RE: New meat needs some info - 12/19/2009 11:35:02 AM

osf

Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
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i guess this life sorta requires we go to the edge

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 26

RE: New meat needs some info - 12/19/2009 11:36:30 AM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
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Huh? What do edges have to do with this? Your advice (while solid) wasn't "edgy".

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to osf)

Post #: 27

RE: New meat needs some info - 12/19/2009 11:38:38 AM

osf

Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
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it may be to someone inexperienced
none of us begin being, what we become

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 28

RE: New meat needs some info - 12/19/2009 11:42:23 AM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
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Well... no. We all change and grow. I just don't agree with you that the idea of munchs and play parties is "edgy" even to a newcomer. Intimidating perhaps, frightening. But not edgy.

Difference of opinion I suppose. I've seen, and given, the same advice many times.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to osf)

Post #: 29

RE: New meat needs some info - 12/19/2009 11:49:45 AM

osf

Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline

semantics

to a newcomer intimidating is edgy

edge play originally meant knife play and ssc meant what is now known as rak

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 30

RE: New meat needs some info - 12/19/2009 11:55:26 AM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

semantics

to a newcomer intimidating is edgy

edge play originally meant knife play and ssc meant what is now known as rak

I appreciate the mini-lecture but I assure you I don't need it.

I still disagree with you on edgy vs. intimidation but we don't have to agree.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to osf)

Post #: 31

RE: New meat needs some info - 12/19/2009 11:56:56 AM

DrkJourney

Posts: 1917
Joined: 5/6/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: EbonyWood

"Cmon you big nasty Dom, tenderize me" has a ring to it.

"Marinade my ass and grill me"

(Afterwards they just chewed the fat)

I have "got" to learn to stop drinking beverages when I'm reading these things....lol

_____________________________

...Look into my eyes and I'll own you....

(in reply to EbonyWood)

Post #: 32

RE: New meat needs some info - 12/19/2009 12:05:31 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DrkJourney

quote:

ORIGINAL: EbonyWood

"Cmon you big nasty Dom, tenderize me" has a ring to it.

"Marinade my ass and grill me"

(Afterwards they just chewed the fat)

I have "got" to learn to stop drinking beverages when I'm reading these things....lol

I now look forward to opening c-mail from him. And I put down my water!

And now I'm really looking forward to the brisket tonight!

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to DrkJourney)

Post #: 33

RE: New meat needs some info - 12/19/2009 12:52:01 PM

SoErin

Posts: 5
Joined: 12/18/2009
Status: offline

thanks everyone. youve given me a lot to think about!

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 34

RE: New meat needs some info - 12/20/2009 10:08:50 AM

osf

Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
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define what you mean when you say first experience

(in reply to SoErin)

Post #: 35

RE: New meat needs some info - 12/20/2009 10:19:02 AM

sexyred1

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
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OP: don't say Under Consideration on your profile. It sounds like you are waiting to hear about a job offer, not a relationship.

(in reply to osf)

Post #: 36

RE: New meat needs some info - 12/20/2009 10:21:25 AM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

OP: don't say Under Consideration on your profile. It sounds like you are waiting to hear about a job offer, not a relationship.

Dunno if I agree. Under Consideration has a specific meaning. Off The Market might be a good equivalent, or just Not Looking at Present. But I think she owes it to prospective Doms to tell them she's not currently available.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to sexyred1)

Post #: 37

RE: New meat needs some info - 12/20/2009 10:25:41 AM

sexyred1

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Joined: 8/9/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

OP: don't say Under Consideration on your profile. It sounds like you are waiting to hear about a job offer, not a relationship.

Dunno if I agree. Under Consideration has a specific meaning. Off The Market might be a good equivalent, or just Not Looking at Present. But I think she owes it to prospective Doms to tell them she's not currently available.

I see your point; however from what I have seen...anytime someone says Under Consideration on their profile, it usually leads to a newbie thread being created about how it all went so badly, etc. If I am not currently available, I would simply say here to meet friends only, etc.

But perhaps I am just cynical about the Under Consideration term. I personally don't care for the term.

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 38

RE: New meat needs some info - 12/20/2009 10:27:43 AM

osf

Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
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is the dom ever under consideration?

(in reply to sexyred1)

Post #: 39

RE: New meat needs some info - 12/20/2009 10:28:30 AM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

the dom is continuously and always under consideration.

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to osf)

Post #: 40

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