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RE: Courting Vanilla vs Domme - 12/20/2009 3:54:43 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline 		You know Peon, I don't get it neither. I'm still working on the business plan for Lady Angelika's Finishing School for Men. TM

Seriously, Lady A, I've put forward a similar idea on this forum a few times before.  Here in the UK, there are still a few 'finishing schools for young ladies'.  I've so often thought that it's not girls who need them, it's boys.  As far as I know, no such institution exists, though.  The few bits of style that I've picked up over (literally) decades could have been taught to me in weeks.  Many men don't ever seem to pick them up.  A lot of men who visit this forum seem to me to be quite decent sorts - but they got shot down in flames because, basically, they have all the elegance and sophistication of pissed orang-utans.  It's horrifying. 

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RE: Courting Vanilla vs Domme - 12/20/2009 3:59:00 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Venatrix


quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

'Wanna fuck' hardly ever works. 



I shall refrain from asking how you know this.


I've never used the line, but a friend I know has.  He's a great believer in the above-mentioned view that one in a hundred (or whatever) will say 'yes'.  I couldn't adopt the same policy because my hide isn't quite as thick as that of a titanium-plated rhino.  I don't like getting turned down.


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RE: Courting Vanilla vs Domme - 12/20/2009 4:04:29 PM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

You know Peon, I don't get it neither. I'm still working on the business plan for Lady Angelika's Finishing School for Men. TM

Seriously, Lady A, I've put forward a similar idea on this forum a few times before.  Here in the UK, there are still a few 'finishing schools for young ladies'.  I've so often thought that it's not girls who need them, it's boys.  As far as I know, no such institution exists, though.  The few bits of style that I've picked up over (literally) decades could have been taught to me in weeks.  Many men don't ever seem to pick them up.  A lot of men who visit this forum seem to me to be quite decent sorts - but they got shot down in flames because, basically, they have all the elegance and sophistication of pissed orang-utans.  It's horrifying. 


Peon,

On Fetlife, I'm part of a group called Gentlemen Prefer Dommes and I've written essays on the subject there. One of the regular contributors and group leaders talks about Emily Post's book on etiquette which clearly establishes universally-accepted guidelines on the proper behavior of gentlemen, especially in the presence of ladies. There are books and schools out there.

The idea of running such a school is more of a fantasy. A huge fantasy, but a fantasy nonetheless. I already have a full time day job plus part time post grad studies! But when I'm with a boy, he gets one on one tutoring if you get my drift!

- LA

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RE: Courting Vanilla vs Domme - 12/20/2009 9:43:04 PM   
slavekal


Posts: 1486
Joined: 7/20/2004
Status: offline 		Your best bet is to assume that dommes are just like vanilla women. Follow the same rules you usually do...even moreso. Often, dommes are even more insecure than other ladies you may meet. But let's keep that our little secret.

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RE: Courting Vanilla vs Domme - 12/21/2009 4:56:24 AM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: slavekal

Your best bet is to assume that dommes are just like vanilla women. Follow the same rules you usually do...even moreso. Often, dommes are even more insecure than other ladies you may meet. But let's keep that our little secret.


What happened to you? I liked you yesterday...

I completely and totally disagree with that statement. Whether a woman is Dominant or not has nothing to do with her level of insecurity when it comes to dating.

Do I have insecurities, yes, I do have some, nothing out of control. I'm human, it's only normal. Do I have insecurities when it comes to meething men? Not really, no.

- LA

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RE: Courting Vanilla vs Domme - 12/21/2009 6:00:06 AM   
CarrieO


Posts: 2432
Joined: 1/27/2008
Status: offline 		~Fast Reply~

I've always found these types of threads, "How do I approach/win over/gain the interest of a Domme?" to be sort of funny.  What I mean is....how would you approach a WOMAN you have an interest in?  Calling her a Domme/Mistress/Goddess doesn't change the fact that you're a man interacting with a woman. 

The OP's way of holding onto a woman's number for a few days before calling...in my opinion, silly.  If I was interested enough to give a man my number and he couldn't be bothered to contact me for a few days I'd think he was no different then the guys who I call "collectors"...they collect phone numbers for sport.  Games...nothing more/nothing less.

Flirting...when done in a subtle and playful manner and not salaciously is good fun.  It shows a man is comfortable in his skin.  When at a munch (good luck with your first one OP) the idea is to meet lots of people. Mingle, mix, interact and enjoy. Approach it as an opportunity to make new friends and less as a hunting ground.

The only real difference I've found when looking for a perspective partner, either as top or bottom, is that there is a heightened degree of expectations for some in regards to courtship (yeah, old word but that's what I call it.).  Courting a woman is like dancing....it can be fluid and easy for one person or choppy and embarrassing for another.  All it takes is patience, practice and a good bit of common sense.  Just don't forget to breathe.



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RE: Courting Vanilla vs Domme - 12/21/2009 7:19:07 AM   
slavekal


Posts: 1486
Joined: 7/20/2004
Status: offline 		Don't take that the wrong way, Ms. Angelika. It's just that I have noticed that many dommes need even more attention and stroking than "vanilla" women. I don't mean that as an insult. And we gotta disagree sometime, don't we?

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Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Courting Vanilla vs Domme - 12/21/2009 10:53:28 AM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline 		What I mean is....how would you approach a WOMAN you have an interest in? 

Verbal tickling.  That's what always works.  It rarely fails with vanilla women, and never fails with femdoms either.  Actually, if anything, it works better with femdoms than vanillas, probably because they think their ribs are better protected. 

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RE: Courting Vanilla vs Domme - 12/21/2009 11:05:44 AM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		LOL... verbal tickling! I like that!

We had someone post about dominant's being trained. I wrote my Dominant University thingy on that one. Considering it more that every fantasy needs a fable. lol

There are many books, lecture's and all sorts of things to use to refine ourselves if one can't pick it up in general by living each day. The finishing schools for women has always been something near midevil to me. A woman must act the lady at all times... must be finished. lol We must train them to be a real woman in society! Yeah... okay... where is my white virginal dress so I can impress?

There really is no excuse for people who don't try to understand how to get about in polite society except laziness. Can we not see when people are repulsed by certain behavior or is it not clear that acting the ape is unappealing to people? But even if we can't figure it out... I am sure there is a match out there somewhere.

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RE: Courting Vanilla vs Domme - 12/21/2009 11:14:31 AM   
CarrieO


Posts: 2432
Joined: 1/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

Verbal tickling. 



By jove, I think he's got it!  A mind is a terrible thing to waste. 





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Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Courting Vanilla vs Domme - 12/21/2009 11:58:47 AM   
Venatrix


Posts: 2238
Joined: 11/28/2007
Status: offline 		The last time I had my verbal tickled, it hurt for days afterwards.

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RE: Courting Vanilla vs Domme - 12/21/2009 11:59:11 AM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		ROFL!

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RE: Courting Vanilla vs Domme - 12/21/2009 2:14:59 PM   
Ladynslave


Posts: 376
Joined: 7/30/2009
Status: offline 		I have been following this thread with a little bit of interest for myself.  I have never heard of a munch until I joined this board and it is nice to vicariously find out what is expected of the people attending, be they Dom(me) or sub.  (I was terrified when I thought they were a public display of our kink.  Thank goodness that fear was laid to rest in a hurry.)  Can't wait for our local host to return and attend our first.

Gift, someone once told me that the only dumb question is the one you really wanted the answer to but never asked.

Lady

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Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Courting Vanilla vs Domme - 12/21/2009 3:15:40 PM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: slavekal

Don't take that the wrong way, Ms. Angelika. It's just that I have noticed that many dommes need even more attention and stroking than "vanilla" women. I don't mean that as an insult. And we gotta disagree sometime, don't we?

See and I haven't noticed that. I think the kind of attention we like is different, but not more or less and varies from woman to woman. Some women are high maintenance and others aren't. I classify myself as medium maintenance, though most of my guy friends think I'm one of the most low maintenance women they know.

- LA

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RE: Courting Vanilla vs Domme - 12/21/2009 3:17:14 PM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CarrieO

quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

Verbal tickling. 



By jove, I think he's got it!  A mind is a terrible thing to waste. 



I'm going to have to add this to my list of fetishes!!

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to CarrieO)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Courting Vanilla vs Domme - 12/21/2009 3:46:41 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		<<< wonders how many dominant profiles will now list at the top... verbal tickling a must...

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Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Courting Vanilla vs Domme - 12/21/2009 3:57:16 PM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

<<< wonders how many dominant profiles will now list at the top... verbal tickling a must...


Damn! I want verbal tickling from a cunning linguist!

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

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Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Courting Vanilla vs Domme - 12/21/2009 4:56:12 PM   
Politesub53


Posts: 14862
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

LOL... verbal tickling! I like that!



Sheesh Lockit, first I had to find the clitoris. Next it was the G spot. Now its the verbals. Maybe Santa will bring me a Sat Nav, If im a good boy.

(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Courting Vanilla vs Domme - 12/21/2009 4:58:31 PM   
Politesub53


Posts: 14862
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

<<< wonders how many dominant profiles will now list at the top... verbal tickling a must...


Damn! I want verbal tickling from a cunning linguist!

- LA


Oh boy, if ever I almost got in big trouble replying to a post.....

Anyhow, last week you just wanted a dishwasher....lol

(in reply to LadyAngelika)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Courting Vanilla vs Domme - 12/21/2009 5:09:33 PM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Politesub53

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

<<< wonders how many dominant profiles will now list at the top... verbal tickling a must...


Damn! I want verbal tickling from a cunning linguist!

- LA


Oh boy, if ever I almost got in big trouble replying to a post.....

Anyhow, last week you just wanted a dishwasher....lol


Since when do you shy away from getting into trouble? It seems to be your middle name!

And for the record, I never wanted *just* a dishwasher. I like a multi-purpose boy. I'm kind of greedy and demanding that way ;-)

- LA



_____________________________

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Profile   Post #: 40
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