quote:

ORIGINAL: slavekal

I have always found dominant women to be by their very nature high(er) maintenance.  Sadistic ladies can be low maintenance if all they are only "on" during play times, but the type of woman who wants to be served and waited on has to be high maintenance, innit?

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ORIGINAL: slavekal

Possible. Are you the type who wants your feet worshipped and your dishes done and who enjoys riding in the back of a rickshaw? Are the type who wants meals cooked and served to her? If not, then you are a different type of domme than I am used to.

quote:

ORIGINAL: SaharahEve

The term here that is questionable to me is "maintenance", which seems to imply a person needs to be maintained / kept up with [fill in the blank].
Maintenance can be construed as dependence upon something. In femdom, in particular, it's dependence upon something that needs to be upheld by the submissive party. This idea can easily start to paint the dominant party in a negative light even if it's not intentional. In my opinion, a servant should keep in mind that he is serving, not "maintaining", because the latter isn't healthy for his ego, or hers. He should not - and neither should she - see his servitude as vital to her survival or ultimate happiness. Keeping that in mind, if "high maintenance" simply means she likes to be pampered, spoiled and entertained on a regular basis, I see nothing wrong with the idea. Martyrize yourself in thinking you are "maintaining" her in your submission, and you're off down the wrong path inevitably.

Have I told you lately, you rock?
 

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ORIGINAL: AAkasha

quote:

ORIGINAL: slavekal

Possible. Are you the type who wants your feet worshipped and your dishes done and who enjoys riding in the back of a rickshaw? Are the type who wants meals cooked and served to her? If not, then you are a different type of domme than I am used to.

I think "high maintenance" implies a lot of drama and negativity that isn't necessarily true.  A woman can have high standards and high expectations and expect to be treated with a level of respect, that doesn't make her high maintenance. A woman can also be sadistic, cruel and playful with a high appetite for sex or pleasure - that doesn't make her "high maintenance" unless she's unreasonable, unclear or manipulative.

I think of high maintenance as the opposite of dominant at times.  Women who want things a certain way but expect men to be mind readers.  Women who use manipulation and moodiness to get what they want.  Women who are passive aggressive.  Men who are walking on eggshells not to "piss her off" or "do the wrong thing."  Men that are expected to kiss ass (not the good kind) for screw ups that were not intended but were for unspoken "rules" they broke.  I see couples like this -- these women are high maintenance.

I know what I want and need and I just make it clear, but it isn't unreasonable.  But most important, the submissive man wants this direction, wants the orders and wants to be required to perform - this is what feeds him.  If anything, I have found that way too many submissive men end up sulking and pouting around me for "not being demanding enough."  And wanting a man to be proactive once he knows what needs to be done?  Ugh - some sub men need to be hovered over to keep them motivated, and that's not what I signed up for. If that makes me high maintenance - the fact that I don't want to have to be a bitch-with-a-whip to get my dishes done - then yeah, I suppose so.

Akasha

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ORIGINAL: slavekal

Funny how one term can mean so many different things to different people.  The kind of situation Aakasha described is my nightmare.  That kind of woman is the worst combination of child and mommy.  The typical sitcom wife/mom.  I would rather jump off the roof than deal with that kind of woman.

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ORIGINAL: AAkasha
Women who want things a certain way but expect men to be mind readers.  Women who use manipulation and moodiness to get what they want.  Women who are passive aggressive.  Men who are walking on eggshells not to "piss her off" or "do the wrong thing."  Men that are expected to kiss ass (not the good kind) for screw ups that were not intended but were for unspoken "rules" they broke.

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ORIGINAL: AAkasha
... many submissive men end up sulking and pouting around me for "not being demanding enough."  And wanting a man to be proactive once he knows what needs to be done?  Ugh - some sub men need to be hovered over to keep them motivated....

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ORIGINAL: slavekal

You misunderstood me, Ladyangelika. I was responding to Aakasha's definition of high maintenance as making a guy walk on eggshells, having to be a mindreader, etc. I was not suggesting that you or Mistress Sahara fall into that category.