RE: reaction to comments - gender bias (Full Version)

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lally2 -> RE: reaction to comments - gender bias (12/23/2009 6:58:28 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: lally2

hm. whilst its more than possible that the OP is exercising some level of kink simply through being humiliated - something s/he mentions enjoying on her profile - and therefore manipulative - im not sure that lambasting her for being who she is and taking a dig at her mistress has any merit to it at all either.

in the end he is a guy trying to get to grips with being a woman - and lets face it there are plenty of men who freely admit they dont understand women and they never will

add in submission and i see someone who is really trying to handle a whole lot of stuff. i might be wrong, often am



Not lambasting, questioning. I never commented on my opinion of my suspicion, manipulative or otherwise and I did not dig at the mistress unless someone regards my statement that "This doesn't seem healthy" as a dig. Which I don't.

Given how enthusically the OP is agreeing with everyone, I believe I'm allowed my opinion that this may be an attempt to get their kink scratched. It also may not be. Only time and future postings will tell.


then in a way youre feeding the kink.

i havent read all of his posts on here, but ive got the gist.

i think theres a double edge to all of this. on one hand he wants and loves to be humiliated by women because he 'thinks' we're wonderful (and who can argue with that (joking)), [:)] - but also in there is his dressing up as a woman and humiliating himself in that way with big girls knickers, so there is also a degree of 'reducing' himself to the female condition of being, as some men see it, the 'weaker sex'.

its complicated is all im saying and i dont think having a go at him is all that helpful. my opinion for what its worth.

and actually, yes, i thought youre comment about his dynamic not being healthy because his mistress was ignoring him was making a judgement you have no real right to make. each to their own and all that stuff.




sunshinemiss -> RE: reaction to comments - gender bias (12/23/2009 6:59:30 AM)

Lally,
You know I think really well of you.  But this time I'm calling bullshit.  If I'm being harsh (I seem to be doing that these days), too bad.  But sometimes people need a wake up call.  Not once did anyone say ANYTHING hurtful to the OP.  NOT ONCE.  We have all talked about behavior.  And the behavior sucks.  We have made an assessment AT THE OP'S REQUEST and responded to it.  You know as well as I do that being a doormat is not cool.  Apologizing when no real apology is necessary weakens true apologies.  Wondering *if* Mistress will talk to me is not healthy.  (whether on her part or the op's).  Finally, wanting humilitiation and getting it from the board is subjecting us to kink without our permission.  Don't know if THAT is happening.  But Aqua mentioned it in a fair manner.  It *is* a possibility.

I too have had the sweetness / kindness factor in the past that went to the nth degree.  Not anymore.  Say what you mean, mean what you say, don't say it mean.  Being overly sweet will not help the op, and it sure won't make me happy.

*and the world revolves around me.  I can send you the memo  *wink
sunshine





AquaticSub -> RE: reaction to comments - gender bias (12/23/2009 7:04:44 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: lally2

then in a way youre feeding the kink.

i havent read all of his posts on here, but ive got the gist.

i think theres a double edge to all of this. on one hand he wants and loves to be humiliated by women because he 'thinks' we're wonderful (and who can argue with that (joking)), [:)] - but also in there is his dressing up as a woman and humiliating himself in that way with big girls knickers, so there is also a degree of 'reducing' himself to the female condition of being, as some men see it, the 'weaker sex'.

its complicated is all im saying and i dont think having a go at him is all that helpful. my opinion for what its worth.

and actually, yes, i thought youre comment about his dynamic not being healthy because his mistress was ignoring him was making a judgement you have no real right to make. each to their own and all that stuff.


Then we'll have to completely and 100 percent disagree. It's not the first time and I suspect it won't be the last.

When you put things up on the forums this is not a cozy safe place. There are plenty of safe spaces on the Internet. They are needed but this isn't one of them. I truly do not believe my questioning that was out of line. It doesn't sound healthy. It's entirely possible that I'm wrong and there are others factors. In which case I expect the OP to come back and, without insults as I did not insult him, and inform me of them. Then I will politely go "Oh, ok, awesome." Sometimes things need to be questioned, I've seen that on the forums more than once.

As for you thinking I'm feeding his kink, again I completely disagree. But if I'm feeding his kink by questioning if he is possibly trying to get his kink scratched without calling it manipulative or any other "loaded" terms... ya know I can live with that entirely comfortably.




AquaticSub -> RE: reaction to comments - gender bias (12/23/2009 7:06:49 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

*and the world revolves around me.  I can send you the memo  *wink
sunshine




Do you think if I get that etched in stone Valyraen will start believing it? [:D]




DesFIP -> RE: reaction to comments - gender bias (12/23/2009 7:08:35 AM)

Having a relationship with zero communication isn't healthy. Neither is letting someone gouge out your eyes. Maybe this is a judgment on my part, if so I'll stand by it.

Everybody judges. We would be with the first guy who said "kneel, bitch" if we didn't use judgment. Judgment is intrinsic to thinking beings. Hopefully we exercise good judgment but we all judge.




sunshinemiss -> RE: reaction to comments - gender bias (12/23/2009 7:12:49 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

*and the world revolves around me.  I can send you the memo  *wink
sunshine




Do you think if I get that etched in stone Valyraen will start believing it? [:D]


Oh sure... I love the idea that Valyraen will know, understand and BELIEVE the world revolves around the sun.  *fuck that Galileo guy.  [:)]




AquaticSub -> RE: reaction to comments - gender bias (12/23/2009 7:14:51 AM)

I should try it... I should so try it....

"Look honey, I disproved hundreds of scientists and all I needed was some stone and a chisel! Aren't you proud of me?".




osf -> RE: reaction to comments - gender bias (12/23/2009 7:20:42 AM)

quote:

Having a relationship with zero communication isn't healthy.


they're letting you know they have nothing to say




AquaticSub -> RE: reaction to comments - gender bias (12/23/2009 7:23:40 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

quote:

Having a relationship with zero communication isn't healthy.


they're letting you know they have nothing to say


And that they don't want to hear anything you have to say. Not healthy. IMHO, of course...




osf -> RE: reaction to comments - gender bias (12/23/2009 7:28:19 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

quote:

Having a relationship with zero communication isn't healthy.


they're letting you know they have nothing to say


And that they don't want to hear anything you have to say. Not healthy. IMHO, of course...


still a form of comunication




AquaticSub -> RE: reaction to comments - gender bias (12/23/2009 7:33:06 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

still a form of comunication


No. It's really not. It's a lack of communication that, by it's absence, implies something as to the state of the relationship. If you are joking, it's not coming across.




sunshinemiss -> RE: reaction to comments - gender bias (12/23/2009 7:37:52 AM)

 Wondering *if* Mistress will talk to me is not healthy.  (whether on her part or the op's). 

OSF, it's the *IF* that is the problem here...




osf -> RE: reaction to comments - gender bias (12/23/2009 7:44:14 AM)

quote:

No. It's really not. It's a lack of communication that, by it's absence, implies something as to the state of the relationship. If you are joking, it's not coming across.


if i ask you if you have anything to say and you don't answer, you've answered in effect

a lack of communication is communicating they have nothing to say, and/or they don't think your worth talking too

we communicate on many different levels




osf -> RE: reaction to comments - gender bias (12/23/2009 7:46:01 AM)

quote:

 Wondering *if* Mistress will talk to me is not healthy.  (whether on her part or the op's). 

OSF, it's the *IF* that is the problem here...


i didn't comment on the health aspects, just said it was communication




BeIgnited -> RE: reaction to comments - gender bias (12/23/2009 8:00:40 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

if i ask you if you have anything to say and you don't answer, you've answered in effect

a lack of communication is communicating they have nothing to say, and/or they don't think your worth talking too

we communicate on many different levels



...or that they didn't hear the question or have suddenly been struck dumb.That the email didn't go through on either end or hasn't been read yet or the phone's been disconnected.

Saying nothing is too ambiguous to communicate anything definitely.




osf -> RE: reaction to comments - gender bias (12/23/2009 8:06:04 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: BeIgnited

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

if i ask you if you have anything to say and you don't answer, you've answered in effect

a lack of communication is communicating they have nothing to say, and/or they don't think your worth talking too

we communicate on many different levels



...or that they didn't hear the question or have suddenly been struck dumb.That the email didn't go through on either end or hasn't been read yet or the phone's been disconnected.

Saying nothing is too ambiguous to communicate anything definitely.



my intent was you'r together rt

unless otherwise stated my intention is always in a relationship rt





EbonyWood -> RE: reaction to comments - gender bias (12/23/2009 8:17:34 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

quote:

ORIGINAL: sissyshoefetish


quote:

ORIGINAL: EbonyWood

Just an apology for mentioning osf will be enough, because he will no doubt turn up here and think he has an impact.
 
Dont feed the trolls.
 
 


Then i humbly apologise for mentioning that contributor and i shall in future not feed the trolls.



Is E. W. now your Dom?  Is HE the one you are trying to please?  If not, then you don't owe him an apology.

Sunny,Tongue in cheek comment intended to show that both the OP looked like a serial apologiser, getting some humiliation kick that way, (and wasn't I proved correct!) and that osf, given his previous trolling, deserved little attention.
 
And I don't think osf is a troll.  I've had a couple of interesting conversations with him as have a few other folks.  Just because I don't like something someone says or I don't like the manner in which they say it doesn't mean they are trolls.

Sunshine, He IS a troll when he has explicitly stated that he says things for a reaction. There are numerous threads where he has stated that. He has also stated elsewhere on this thread that "agreement never makes you think". If you agree with that (ha) then every thread posing a position invalidates itself or becomes an argument. I don't think posting a thought or position in an articulate way is bad at all, but when your whole participation in a forum consists of making blank, usually unsupported, statements then yep, I think you are trolling - mostly for a reaction to get attention for yourself, and the comment was just a medium to get you there. My opinion.
 
Look, man, if you are going to follow what EVERY woman and EVERY dom says for your to do, you will go crazy.  You seem to be in a bit of sub frenzy.  (use the search button if you don't know what that term means). 

Your post is irritating - the whole fricking thread is irritating - Hence my posting not to feed it.
 
because you are acting like a jerk.  You are acting like a "doormat" ... you know... like you have no mind of your own.  To me that makes YOU more troll like than osf.  You want to be a useless, unthinking, pitiful shell, fine.  But don't say it's because you are submissive.  That's not submissive.  (A fairly common mistake for new folks or people in sub frenzy). 

Wake up.
sunshine


And yes, I've seen the irony of returning to post this. I wish I hadn't seen my name referred to.




lally2 -> RE: reaction to comments - gender bias (12/23/2009 8:21:23 AM)



making a judgement is what we all do every day but judgementalism is something else and there is way too much of it on here sometimes IMHO

i know of plenty of relationships that are unhealthy, from my POV, but its not my call, so i keep my trap shut. if someone comes here and pointedly asks 'is this healthy' then we are being invited to comment, beyond that its non of our business what floats peoples boats. although if its kids involved i do get a bit judgmental.

i agree wholeheartedly that this thread is a bit questionable, but i still think this guy has alot going on and who knows how fragile he is or how much 'attack' he can handle. he's new here and doesnt know how brutal it can get at times [:)]

.... and i think well of you sunshine - its no biggee, im not worrying a whole lot about this, its an open forum and i said what i felt. sorry for the hijack.




sunshinemiss -> RE: reaction to comments - gender bias (12/23/2009 8:32:51 AM)


And yes, I've seen the irony of returning to post this.
[:D]




AquaticSub -> RE: reaction to comments - gender bias (12/23/2009 8:33:32 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

quote:

No. It's really not. It's a lack of communication that, by it's absence, implies something as to the state of the relationship. If you are joking, it's not coming across.


if i ask you if you have anything to say and you don't answer, you've answered in effect

a lack of communication is communicating they have nothing to say, and/or they don't think your worth talking too

we communicate on many different levels

I don't regard that as communication in the slightest. As I said, it's a lack of communication that implies something. It could also mean I'm dead and therefore unable to communicate.




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