RE: Gross stuff we never talk about ...

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thornhappy -> RE: Gross stuff we never talk about ... (12/29/2009 7:51:15 PM)
What makes it a "crutch"? Why is the male anatomy superior, when you'll most likely end up leaking urine due to prostate enlargement, as mentioned above? Seems like there're just different design tradeoffs between the sexes.

Loki45 -> RE: Gross stuff we never talk about ... (12/29/2009 8:11:41 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: thornhappy What makes it a "crutch"? Why is the male anatomy superior, when you'll most likely end up leaking urine due to prostate enlargement, as mentioned above? Seems like there're just different design tradeoffs between the sexes. You answer your own question. It's a crutch because of the way you use it. I stated in my first post on the subject that we all know 'things happen' post-childbirth. I also stated that I knew many females who had 'leaking' problems and have never carried nor had children. They leak at those strange times for no other reason than their anatomy can't hold it in. What makes male anatomy superior? I have no idea. I suspect the shape and biological operation. You see a girl's bits can become engorged when she's aroused. So, minus that arousal, everything's 'normal' down there and she must rely on whatever control she has to keep her underwear dry. A man becomes 'engorged' for arousal but also as a means by which to cut off urine flow. That's why it's hard to pee in the morning when a guy first wakes up...he has to make 'it' relax first. (Mornin' wood isn't just a buzz word, it keeps the man from peeing himself at night).

LafayetteLady -> RE: Gross stuff we never talk about ... (12/29/2009 8:30:36 PM)
FR Ah yes, the pee when you have any quick short movement, like coughing, sneezing, etc. Had that for 15 years after my son was born. Got so bad that when I had a bad cold, I finally gave in and bought me some of them "Poise" pads. Finally I was able to get to the Uro/Gyn to deal with the problem. After all the health issues I have had in the last few years, I just don't get embarrassed anymore. When the Dr. had to "test" to see how bad the problem was they put you on the typical gyno table, but in more of a sitting position. Then they cathaterize you, and manually fill your bladder. So here I am sitting spread eagle with a cathater, nurse to my left with a HUGE syringe filled with sterile water and the doctor in front me watching as she "fills me up." When she is done, the doctor says "Ok, now cough." I was like "are you sure, you're kinda in the line of fire!" Had the surgery, and at the 2 week follow up, when the doctor asked me how things were going, he looked at me a little odd when I said, "well, I think it is going pretty well. I got a stomach virus since the surgery and when I threw up I didn't also piss all over the floor." That was a year ago, and it has been a wonderful thing to cough, sneeze, jump, laugh, vomit, etc. and never worry that I peed my pants or that I was slowly leaking (that was going on too) and people who stood near me thought I smelled like a "pee pee diaper." It also makes it much easier to go without underwear while wearing a skirt since nothing is going to run down my leg! Recommend the procedure to any woman with this problem.

thornhappy -> RE: Gross stuff we never talk about ... (12/29/2009 9:07:46 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Loki45 What makes male anatomy superior? I have no idea. I suspect the shape and biological operation. That's not what I was aiming for...it's why you consider it superior, but don't acknowledge that men grow incontinent as the prostate enlarges. back to the thread... I had several coworkers who got poison oak on their nethers after peeing at a remote site. The building was surrounded on 3 sides by poison oak and brush. I escaped that fate by peeing next to a huge water tank, adjacent to the driveway for the site. I was buttoning up my jeans when a neighbor walked up to see who was there. I swear, there's no privacy when you're doing field work.

Loki45 -> RE: Gross stuff we never talk about ... (12/29/2009 11:47:01 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: thornhappy That's not what I was aiming for...it's why you consider it superior, but don't acknowledge that men grow incontinent as the prostate enlarges. Actually, that'd be "some" men grow incontinent. However, many women seem to have that problem with no kids or prostate. I guess that does make the dick superior. Because...all things being equal, with no discernable medical condition, a vagina is much more likely to 'leak' than a dick.

stella41b -> RE: Gross stuff we never talk about ... (12/30/2009 6:33:03 AM)
Has anyone got one of those wooden toilet seats? Those thick wooden toilet seats? You know the ones I mean.. You sit there for ten minutes, doing your business, reading a magazine, and then you get up.. and can hardly keep your balance. You stand there wiping yourself, and then you stagger away from the toilet thinking 'WTF?' You've lost all feeling in your legs, and you're staggering round like some sort of cripple who's lost their crutches. Anyone else experience that? But you know what the worst thing is? You're looking for the toilet paper in someone's house and you see it and it's got 'IZAL' written on it.

Sanity -> RE: Gross stuff we never talk about ... (12/30/2009 6:55:25 AM)
Something I find weird, maybe its just me, but there are certain places that almost instantly upon entering trigger the need to take a dump. Old barns, abandoned houses... Maybe its the dusty smell of mice nests or birds nests or something. Or maybe its because places like that remind me of the outhouse I had to use at my Grandma's house over the years?

Marc2b -> RE: Gross stuff we never talk about ... (12/30/2009 7:10:05 AM)
quote: What makes it a "crutch"? Why is the male anatomy superior, when you'll most likely end up leaking urine due to prostate enlargement, as mentioned above? Seems like there're just different design tradeoffs between the sexes. Male anatomy is superior because we can pee standing up without making a total mess of it. It's in the Bible, somewhere in Genesis I think: and the Lord said, "Behold, because she cannot pee standing up without making a total mess of things, thou shalt have dominion over her."

Marc2b -> RE: Gross stuff we never talk about ... (12/30/2009 7:16:31 AM)
quote: Has anyone got one of those wooden toilet seats? Those thick wooden toilet seats? You know the ones I mean.. You sit there for ten minutes, doing your business, reading a magazine, and then you get up.. and can hardly keep your balance. You stand there wiping yourself, and then you stagger away from the toilet thinking 'WTF?' You've lost all feeling in your legs, and you're staggering round like some sort of cripple who's lost their crutches. Anyone else experience that? But you know what the worst thing is? You're looking for the toilet paper in someone's house and you see it and it's got 'IZAL' written on it. The legs going to sleep while on the john, that's not a fun one. The first time it happened I wondered if I wasn't paralyzed. Starving to death while on a toilet seat, I thought, great, just fucking great. This will top the list of undignified deaths. Oh well, Elvis died on a toilet seat, at least I'm in good company. I wonder how long it will take them to find my body? IZAL? I don't get it. Is this some kind of European thing?

stella41b -> RE: Gross stuff we never talk about ... (12/30/2009 11:17:39 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Marc2b IZAL? I don't get it. Is this some kind of European thing? Yes IZAL, toilet paper specifically for hard people. This is cheap toilet paper made from strong recycled paper which is disinfected and shiny on the surface. It's nasty stuff. You have to be very careful when inserting it to the crack (any crack), and do not attempt any 'keyhole surgery' moves - not unless you're training for the Olympic triple jump event. You have to be very careful as to how you use it otherwise you end up with an itchy bumhole. Nasty stuff.

Sanity -> RE: Gross stuff we never talk about ... (12/30/2009 12:06:37 PM)
Its like a toilet paper roll of waxed paper with an almost invisible coating of fuzzy stuff on just one side of it. You use the fuzzy side to try to clean your back side after relieving yourself. I had to really study it before each use and I was still never sure I was wiping with the proper side.

Marc2b -> RE: Gross stuff we never talk about ... (12/30/2009 12:51:42 PM)
Ah yes, I have encountered that. Some friends who went to Europe brought some back to show us how primitive/nutso the Europeans are - at least about some things. I remember thinking that if I ever travel to Europe, I'm bringing my own toilet paper. So, normal toilet paper is available in Europe. That's good to know. I really wouldn't want to explain to a customs agent why I have several rolls of toilet paper with me.

Loki45 -> RE: Gross stuff we never talk about ... (12/30/2009 3:19:49 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: stella41b Yes IZAL, toilet paper specifically for hard people. Our version of that is simply rough, 'one-ply' paper. We call it "John Wayne toilet paper" because it's rough, tough and don't take no shit off no one.

thornhappy -> RE: Gross stuff we never talk about ... (12/30/2009 3:57:28 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Marc2b The legs going to sleep while on the john, that's not a fun one. The first time it happened I wondered if I wasn't paralyzed. Starving to death while on a toilet seat, I thought, great, just fucking great. This will top the list of undignified deaths. Oh well, Elvis died on a toilet seat, at least I'm in good company. I wonder how long it will take them to find my body? Damn. I thought it was a genetic disorder. (I inherited my fondness for bathroom reading from my father.) Legs going numb serve as a timer, if someone's not pounding on the door.

FirmhandKY -> RE: Gross stuff we never talk about ... (12/31/2009 1:08:37 PM)
FR: Shoot! I've been away from the OTF for a few days ... I thought this thread had withered a long time ago! Firm

Marc2b -> RE: Gross stuff we never talk about ... (12/31/2009 1:16:46 PM)
quote: Shoot! I've been away from the OTF for a few days ... I thought this thread had withered a long time ago! Like a person who had one too many helpings of baked beans, it just keeps going and going and...

kiwisub12 -> RE: Gross stuff we never talk about ... (12/31/2009 1:28:40 PM)
Just as a matter of interest, men can have stress incontinence , and just straight out dribble all day incontinence after prostate surgery. And there is surgery they can do to fix that - a male sling or a male artificial sphincter. And yes, women can have stress urinary incontinence without delivering a child - something to do with gravity and anatomy. And none of this proves that men are better than women or vica versa. It just proves that some people can squabble about anything.[:D]

FirmhandKY -> RE: Gross stuff we never talk about ... (12/31/2009 1:41:26 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Marc2b quote: Shoot! I've been away from the OTF for a few days ... I thought this thread had withered a long time ago! Like a person who had one too many helpings of baked beans, it just keeps going and going and... hmmmm ... think we ought talk about really vicious beer farts? [8D] Firm

BKSir -> RE: Gross stuff we never talk about ... (12/31/2009 2:21:30 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: FirmhandKY quote: ORIGINAL: Marc2b quote: Shoot! I've been away from the OTF for a few days ... I thought this thread had withered a long time ago! Like a person who had one too many helpings of baked beans, it just keeps going and going and... hmmmm ... think we ought talk about really vicious beer farts? [8D] Firm Beer? Pfft, that's amateur stuff there! Try working in a japanese restaurant, where the owner has a particular propensity for sake, and penchant for cabbage, and a strange obsession with cheese (although extremely lactose intolerant). Sweet christ, the smells and sounds that came from him some days were unnatural and an abomination unto god!

thornhappy -> RE: Gross stuff we never talk about ... (12/31/2009 2:25:13 PM)
Hey, what's this I hear about beer farts? Once or twice I've come across references to "the day after a night of beer and a sausage sandwich from the sidewalk vendor", but thought it merely apocryphal. Please, enlighten me (just don't use any open flames...)

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