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RE: Doctrine and the d/s m/s relationship - 12/28/2009 9:39:34 AM   
osf


Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: lally2


quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

i think a d/s relationship that is allowed to happen has less of a chance than one that is directed


not so in my experience. a relationship that evolves according to the people involved is, in my experience far stronger than one tied up with rules and protocol - whilst they have their place the control and containment of a submissive is going to mean so much more to both when the personality of the sub and Dominant are allowed to evolve and grow specifically to them.

if what you mean is that you take a) a submissive and apply b) rules and protocols, you have c) a tight ship. the trouble with that is that youre not taking into account the personality of the submissive involved.

fine if youre not interested in the submissive submitting to you and rather submitting to youre rules and protocol. for myself i prefer to submit to the man and abide by his rules and protocol.


direction ans evolution are not exclusive

one can have a goal and adapt on the way to getting there

but i think in a d/s relationship he has to have an idea about how it is to develop

a commander in battle has a mission statement, a goal (victory) but still has to adapt to the developing battle and alter tactics but the mission and goal remain the same



_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to lally2)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Doctrine and the d/s m/s relationship - 12/28/2009 9:54:13 AM   
happylittlepet


Posts: 289
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quote:

ORIGINAL: osf
i wanted a discussion about structured relationships using the concept of doctrine (sorta out of the box thinking)


To me, using doctrine is in-the-box-thinking.

And in my background/upbringing it usually let to judgmental attitudes about others and/or the idea that 'i am better than ...'.

_____________________________

There are no rules, there is only compassion.

Simple religion:
There is no need for temples,
No need for complicated philosophies
My brain and my heart are my temples
My philosophy is kindness (DL)

'There's a fire burning in my heart'

(in reply to osf)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Doctrine and the d/s m/s relationship - 12/28/2009 9:56:57 AM   
osf


Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: happylittlepet

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf
i wanted a discussion about structured relationships using the concept of doctrine (sorta out of the box thinking)


To me, using doctrine is in-the-box-thinking.

And in my background/upbringing it usually let to judgmental attitudes about others and/or the idea that 'i am better than ...'.


your using the word in a religious connotation, thats not the way it's meant here

_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to happylittlepet)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Doctrine and the d/s m/s relationship - 12/28/2009 10:03:23 AM   
happylittlepet


Posts: 289
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: osf


quote:

ORIGINAL: happylittlepet

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf
i wanted a discussion about structured relationships using the concept of doctrine (sorta out of the box thinking)


To me, using doctrine is in-the-box-thinking.

And in my background/upbringing it usually let to judgmental attitudes about others and/or the idea that 'i am better than ...'.


your using the word in a religious connotation, thats not the way it's meant here


You are thinking in the box.

_____________________________

There are no rules, there is only compassion.

Simple religion:
There is no need for temples,
No need for complicated philosophies
My brain and my heart are my temples
My philosophy is kindness (DL)

'There's a fire burning in my heart'

(in reply to osf)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Doctrine and the d/s m/s relationship - 12/28/2009 10:07:38 AM   
Dominasola


Posts: 582
Joined: 9/18/2008
From: Ottawa, Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

your using the word in a religious connotation, thats not the way it's meant here


Then perhaps you should try to think of another suitable word that isn't so highly identifiable as having a religious connotation.

(in reply to osf)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Doctrine and the d/s m/s relationship - 12/28/2009 10:07:44 AM   
osf


Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: happylittlepet

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf


quote:

ORIGINAL: happylittlepet

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf
i wanted a discussion about structured relationships using the concept of doctrine (sorta out of the box thinking)


To me, using doctrine is in-the-box-thinking.

And in my background/upbringing it usually let to judgmental attitudes about others and/or the idea that 'i am better than ...'.


your using the word in a religious connotation, thats not the way it's meant here


You are thinking in the box.


perhaps, but it's a different box than everybody else

_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to happylittlepet)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Doctrine and the d/s m/s relationship - 12/28/2009 10:10:34 AM   
happylittlepet


Posts: 289
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: osf


quote:

ORIGINAL: happylittlepet

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf


quote:

ORIGINAL: happylittlepet

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf
i wanted a discussion about structured relationships using the concept of doctrine (sorta out of the box thinking)


To me, using doctrine is in-the-box-thinking.

And in my background/upbringing it usually let to judgmental attitudes about others and/or the idea that 'i am better than ...'.


your using the word in a religious connotation, thats not the way it's meant here


You are thinking in the box.


perhaps, but it's a different box than everybody else


that's great, why don't you just play there quietly

_____________________________

There are no rules, there is only compassion.

Simple religion:
There is no need for temples,
No need for complicated philosophies
My brain and my heart are my temples
My philosophy is kindness (DL)

'There's a fire burning in my heart'

(in reply to osf)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Doctrine and the d/s m/s relationship - 12/28/2009 10:21:50 AM   
osf


Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: happylittlepet

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf


quote:

ORIGINAL: happylittlepet

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf


quote:

ORIGINAL: happylittlepet

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf
i wanted a discussion about structured relationships using the concept of doctrine (sorta out of the box thinking)


To me, using doctrine is in-the-box-thinking.

And in my background/upbringing it usually let to judgmental attitudes about others and/or the idea that 'i am better than ...'.


your using the word in a religious connotation, thats not the way it's meant here


You are thinking in the box.


perhaps, but it's a different box than everybody else


that's great, why don't you just play there quietly


and deprive you the chance to give such answers?

baby, i'm a giver at heart

_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to happylittlepet)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Doctrine and the d/s m/s relationship - 12/28/2009 1:05:20 PM   
CelticPrince


Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline
quote:

It dawned on me that the d/s m/s relationship is an organization in that it has hierarchy, rules, obligations and expectations for and by it’s participants.


osf,

D/s is in a constant state of flux!

CP

(in reply to osf)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Doctrine and the d/s m/s relationship - 12/28/2009 1:07:36 PM   
osf


Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticPrince

quote:

It dawned on me that the d/s m/s relationship is an organization in that it has hierarchy, rules, obligations and expectations for and by it’s participants.


osf,

D/s is in a constant state of flux!

CP


and it can't adapt?

_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to CelticPrince)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Doctrine and the d/s m/s relationship - 12/28/2009 1:47:51 PM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

Doctrine and the d/s m/s relationship

It dawned on me that the d/s m/s relationship is an organization in that it has hierarchy, rules, obligations and expectations for and by it’s participants.

As such it is doctrinaire in nature. The purpose of this thread is to share and contribute ideas about doctrine and how it affects your relationships or relationships you hope to establish.




I have to agree with your first paragraph.......at least in my relationship.

The most constructive thing I can say is that it's worked.....lol

agirl

(in reply to osf)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Doctrine and the d/s m/s relationship - 12/28/2009 2:27:17 PM   
vincentML


Posts: 9980
Joined: 10/31/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: lally2




i can follow rules and protocol, kneel in certain positions but i have to admit, much of the time im thinking 'darn the carpet needs a hoover' or 'does my arse look fat stuck up in the air'.

LMAO. Oh how funny. Thanks for the good laugh.

_____________________________

vML

Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter. ~ MLK Jr.

(in reply to lally2)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Doctrine and the d/s m/s relationship - 12/28/2009 2:29:49 PM   
vincentML


Posts: 9980
Joined: 10/31/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: osf


quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticPrince

quote:

It dawned on me that the d/s m/s relationship is an organization in that it has hierarchy, rules, obligations and expectations for and by it’s participants.


osf,

D/s is in a constant state of flux!

CP


and it can't adapt?


Not if it is wedded to doctrine. Contradiction there.

_____________________________

vML

Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter. ~ MLK Jr.

(in reply to osf)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Doctrine and the d/s m/s relationship - 12/28/2009 2:35:23 PM   
osf


Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline
quote:

i can follow rules and protocol, kneel in certain positions but i have to admit, much of the time im thinking 'darn the carpet needs a hoover' or 'does my arse look fat stuck up in the air'.


but you did it anyway

_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to lally2)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Doctrine and the d/s m/s relationship - 12/28/2009 2:36:24 PM   
osf


Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: vincentML


quote:

ORIGINAL: osf


quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticPrince

quote:

It dawned on me that the d/s m/s relationship is an organization in that it has hierarchy, rules, obligations and expectations for and by it’s participants.


osf,

D/s is in a constant state of flux!

CP


and it can't adapt?


Not if it is wedded to doctrine. Contradiction there.


then your misunderstanding what doctrine is

_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to vincentML)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Doctrine and the d/s m/s relationship - 12/28/2009 6:30:29 PM   
vincentML


Posts: 9980
Joined: 10/31/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: osf



quote:

ORIGINAL: vincentML


quote:

ORIGINAL: osf


quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticPrince

quote:

It dawned on me that the d/s m/s relationship is an organization in that it has hierarchy, rules, obligations and expectations for and by it’s participants.


osf,

D/s is in a constant state of flux!

CP


and it can't adapt?


Not if it is wedded to doctrine. Contradiction there.


then your misunderstanding what doctrine is


or you misunderstand what flux is.

_____________________________

vML

Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter. ~ MLK Jr.

(in reply to osf)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Doctrine and the d/s m/s relationship - 12/28/2009 6:36:41 PM   
osf


Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: vincentML


quote:

ORIGINAL: osf



quote:

ORIGINAL: vincentML


quote:

ORIGINAL: osf


quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticPrince

quote:

It dawned on me that the d/s m/s relationship is an organization in that it has hierarchy, rules, obligations and expectations for and by it’s participants.


osf,

D/s is in a constant state of flux!

CP


and it can't adapt?


Not if it is wedded to doctrine. Contradiction there.


then your misunderstanding what doctrine is


or you misunderstand what flux is.


all militarys operate on doctrine but they adapt to changing conditions what a doctrine is is a set of rules regs, and tactics and toe to be used by the organization, it's not set in stone and inflexible, it's there to keep cohesion so everybody knows whats expected

_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to vincentML)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Doctrine and the d/s m/s relationship - 12/28/2009 6:37:28 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline
quote:

it has hierarchy, rules, obligations and expectations for and by it’s participants.


Well just by going by that part of your words..yup, I guess we have a doctrine. All those are present in our relationship.

(in reply to vincentML)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Doctrine and the d/s m/s relationship - 12/28/2009 6:39:26 PM   
osf


Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

quote:

it has hierarchy, rules, obligations and expectations for and by it’s participants.


Well just by going by that part of your words..yup, I guess we have a doctrine. All those are present in our relationship.


yup, just like in the army only the army banned flogging long ago

_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Doctrine and the d/s m/s relationship - 12/28/2009 6:43:32 PM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

all militarys operate on doctrine but they adapt to changing conditions what a doctrine is is a set of rules regs, and tactics and toe to be used by the organization, it's not set in stone and inflexible, it's there to keep cohesion so everybody knows whats expected


BDSM is not a religion, not a military, not a cult. BDSM is simply an umbrella term, an acronym, that regroups a whole whack of hetergenous kinky people who are usually, from my experience, not all that organized as a community in an overall protocol.

Got it?

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to osf)
Profile   Post #: 60
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