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RE: Ending relationships, what were your reasons? - 12/28/2009 2:32:38 PM   
DrkJourney


Posts: 1917
Joined: 5/6/2007
Status: offline 		One that I had in the past is because I found out that just about everything that came out of his mouth was a lie.

I even traveled to where he lived (when I finally got the truth about that) and gave him a second chance and he still did nothing but lie.

I knew I could never trust him but wanted to be friends, then he got nasty...so then I was done

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(in reply to gorlove)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Ending relationships, what were your reasons? - 12/28/2009 2:46:39 PM   
cpK69


Posts: 1593
Joined: 5/9/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: gorlove

why did it end?




One because he took liberties that were not offered to him.

One because his disposition was relative to ‘child molester’ in my mind (among other things); not claiming it was truth, but definitely an uncomfortable situation.

One because ‘his word’ had a value rating equivalent to that of lint, on what I perceive as ‘top priority’ issues.

One because the situation had become such, that I began to feel as though I had become an abandoned pet; I eventually decided (with help from friends), being a martyr, is so not me.

Thankfully, circumstances can change, as I do enjoy being his ‘pet’.

Kim


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Humility is where weakness and strength meet and humanity begins.

one voice

(in reply to gorlove)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Ending relationships, what were your reasons? - 12/28/2009 2:51:41 PM   
Underumam


Posts: 485
Joined: 12/18/2008
Status: offline 		I usually see a few signs far in advance of the actual end. This doesn't mean I react immediately and conclude the relationship, as I'm usually the one who does NOT end it unless it has the obvious potential for explosion. But rather, I try (when possible) to allow her to come to the conclusions on her own, and try to press on regardless. Unfortunately, this has left me high, dry and homeless on several occasions. 

< Message edited by Underumam -- 12/28/2009 2:52:48 PM >

(in reply to osf)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Ending relationships, what were your reasons? - 12/28/2009 3:03:15 PM   
cpK69


Posts: 1593
Joined: 5/9/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: hlen5

Slavekal was speaking from the sub's perspective.



I suspect, gorlove, was referring to "osf".

Kim

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Humility is where weakness and strength meet and humanity begins.

one voice

(in reply to hlen5)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Ending relationships, what were your reasons? - 12/28/2009 3:12:04 PM   
MMagic


Posts: 183
Joined: 2/9/2009
Status: offline 		Well if you search the forums here for my name you can find how mine ended. BUT as someone said hindsight is 100%, with that hindsight I was able to step on my way relatively easy, knowing that I got out before it got REALLY bad.  So I'll tell you what I learned in hindsight, thanks to my friend who stepped in to help me out.

1. TxBlkMistress and I had the same Dom! Mine lied too! (kidding..I hope)
2. He was a terribly confused, mentally unstable individual.  One moment I was his sub, the next slave and he couldn't decide between the two. My downfall is sometimes I'm a go with the flow kinda girl.  And really, when it comes to my work I'm not submissive, I'm the very opposite. He wanted to control THAT and in a letter to my friend (whom he thought was his next conquest) said I used it as an excuse not to obey.  He would have destroyed what I worked so hard to build. Thank goddess it's over..
3. Lied about having money
4. Lied about size of body parts..come ON it's not like I wasn't gonna notice!!! I don't care about it either..unless you lie.  Trust people..trust
5. Became a different person in front of people.  We went out one day, met a friend of his and he became this laughing, happy, easy going relaxed person I've NEVER seen before.  Then and there I knew it was gonna end some day because I hate people that do that. I know we have to be different people WITH Different people but I feel only in the case of where it jeopardizes your life or lifestyle should you be different. Not when with your girl and talking to a friend...especially when your girl has never seen you be that sweet before...scary.
6. His family kept referring to me by a completely different name than my own. He tried to blame it on mispronunciation.  My real name is very distinct and even mispronunciation doesn't fall far from the actual one. The name THEY called me..not even close.  So I think he had a few of "me" around and lied.
7. Never wanted him in the first place. With hindsight I see that I used him as place holder for who I really wanted..whom I have now. And I'm blissfully happy. The End.

LOL


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(in reply to Underumam)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Ending relationships, what were your reasons? - 12/28/2009 3:14:43 PM   
MMagic


Posts: 183
Joined: 2/9/2009
Status: offline 		PS I didn't elaborate further on a lot up there. You said keep it brief and I did the best I could.   I'm long winded, lol.

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(in reply to MMagic)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Ending relationships, what were your reasons? - 12/28/2009 4:38:58 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		1. He cheated
2. He was too busy with his career and friends...he had no time for me.
3. He simply vanished into thin air never to be seen or heard from again.
4. I wasn't good enough for his mother.

* edited because I forgot #4


< Message edited by littlewonder -- 12/28/2009 4:40:54 PM >

(in reply to osf)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Ending relationships, what were your reasons? - 12/28/2009 4:52:06 PM   
wisdomtogive


Posts: 636
Joined: 11/13/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetsub1957

quote:

ORIGINAL: gorlove

anyone who was in anytype of submissive role in a relationship, why did it end?

I would still be with my last Sir, if He hadn't died.  BUT, I did have one relationship end abruptly when He dumped me for my religion.  After quite awhile the subject came up and, oh well. 


sweetsub i do hope you are healing at your pace with the lost of your Sir. Goddess does help that is for sure:)

Back to topic
I left both of my relationships that involved BDSM, and not for bad reasons. It was a growing cycle, and my time was over. They both were safe for me, cause i was not at a point to totally commit. Now i am and MD Sir is who i have totally committed too. I have fond and confusing memories of the other two, and am grateful for having time with them.

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(in reply to sweetsub1957)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Ending relationships, what were your reasons? - 12/28/2009 5:43:25 PM   
lally2


Posts: 2621
Joined: 4/16/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cpK69


quote:

ORIGINAL: gorlove

why did it end?


.One because his disposition was relative to ‘child molester’ in my mind (among other things); not claiming it was truth, but definitely an uncomfortable situation.
.
Kim



oooh, i met one of those and we had a brief liason, so i didnt bother to mention him. but he was of the opinion that girls of 12 were old enough to have sex and that the 12 year old girl in the shop que was apparently looking at him.

i told him that if 12 years old is too young to have babies its too young to have sex. i didnt tell him that the girl looking at him in the shop que was probably mesmerized by his nasal hair.

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(in reply to cpK69)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Ending relationships, what were your reasons? - 12/28/2009 6:06:46 PM   
cpK69


Posts: 1593
Joined: 5/9/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lally2


oooh, i met one of those and we had a brief liason, so i didnt bother to mention him. but he was of the opinion that girls of 12 were old enough to have sex and that the 12 year old girl in the shop que was apparently looking at him.

i told him that if 12 years old is too young to have babies its too young to have sex.


The thought "even if true, is it not up to you to be the adult?", comes to my mind.

quote:

i didnt tell him that the girl looking at him in the shop que was probably mesmerized by his nasal hair.


I giggle at the thought of what his expression might have been, if you had.

Kim

_____________________________

Humility is where weakness and strength meet and humanity begins.

one voice

(in reply to lally2)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Ending relationships, what were your reasons? - 12/28/2009 11:18:14 PM   
QuirkyAnne


Posts: 268
Joined: 9/17/2008
Status: offline 		He called me on the phone and commanded me to do something that could have done one or all of the following:

a.  gotten me arrested
b.  seriously jeopardized my physical safety
c.  non consensually involved others in our kink.

Anne

(in reply to gorlove)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Ending relationships, what were your reasons? - 12/28/2009 11:46:56 PM   
kiinkerbell


Posts: 19
Joined: 12/28/2009
Status: offline 		He would go weeks without seeing me, and we only lived 20 mins away from each other.

He seldom kept his word.

Too many things came before *us*

Phones calls became our main contact, and it was ALWAYS while he was doing something else, and called me along the way.


(in reply to QuirkyAnne)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Ending relationships, what were your reasons? - 12/29/2009 1:32:28 AM   
hlen5


Posts: 5890
Joined: 3/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cpK69

quote:

ORIGINAL: hlen5

Slavekal was speaking from the sub's perspective.



I suspect, gorlove, was referring to "osf".

Kim

I stand corrected. I was going by the (in reply to....) on Gorlove's message.  Oops!

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(in reply to cpK69)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Ending relationships, what were your reasons? - 12/29/2009 9:31:54 AM   
afterforever


Posts: 315
Joined: 6/12/2008
From: Belfast, NI
Status: offline 		The official reason with my ex was that he got a job in America, and we didn't want to do long distance.

Of course if we were really perfect for one another either he wouldn't have gone or I would have given up med school to go with him. But in the end I wanted to finish school and have a career, at least for a while, whereas he wanted a housewifey, 24/7, always on standby for orders slave. Not that there's anything wrong with that, I'd love to be owned completely like that one day, but it isn't me right now.

He said he'd never order me to give up school when he collared me, but I think he always assumed that would change as soon as he was making enough money to support me. We're still good friends, and I do have a standing offer to play with him and his new unemployed no limits slave if I ever visit America.




Then there's vanilla ex, who was insanely controlling in a whiney, guilt-trip kind of way, fetishes were too extreme for me, was horrified at the idea of poly but was cheating on me behind my back whenever he got the chance, refused to spank me in bed but punched me in the face when I broke up with him.

(in reply to hlen5)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Ending relationships, what were your reasons? - 12/29/2009 10:56:03 AM   
sofuntoplay


Posts: 5
Joined: 12/13/2009
Status: offline 		So many hurtful experiences here, so great everyone is sharing, sorry to hear about so much pain and disappointment, glad to know we keep trying.

(in reply to afterforever)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Ending relationships, what were your reasons? - 12/29/2009 1:13:10 PM   
sophiesback


Posts: 4039
Joined: 11/4/2009
From: Illinois
Status: offline 		have ended relationships for lots of reasons...

boredom
maturity, or lack of
children
lying
He's a selfish, pompous, undeserving ASS (yeah you guys know who im talkin bout, the one i just told i was DONE and i've finally stuck to it  *puffs chest out*)


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(in reply to sofuntoplay)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Ending relationships, what were your reasons? - 12/29/2009 1:15:13 PM   
sophiesback


Posts: 4039
Joined: 11/4/2009
From: Illinois
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kiinkerbell

He would go weeks without seeing me, and we only lived 20 mins away from each other.

He seldom kept his word.

Too many things came before *us*

Phones calls became our main contact, and it was ALWAYS while he was doing something else, and called me along the way.




me thinks we shared the same Man! 

_____________________________

CM's Resident Goof
30 Fluffy points

(in reply to kiinkerbell)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Ending relationships, what were your reasons? - 12/29/2009 1:28:02 PM   
sofuntoplay


Posts: 5
Joined: 12/13/2009
Status: offline 		this is helping me come to terms with my own situation, i got into it to have someone in my life, to not be alone anymore, was promised love and security, was ignored, lied to endlessly, one of the worst situations for feeling not cared about, felt like an idiot, a lonely needy idiot, but not anymore.

(in reply to sophiesback)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Ending relationships, what were your reasons? - 12/29/2009 2:19:48 PM   
lizi


Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline 		I'm in a good relationship now that works for me but since I've been single over the last few years I've had some relationships that didn't last for various reasons.

One didn't really have the time for me and tried to take advantage of me financially. He wasn't successful in that. He also hid the fact that he was married- soon to be separated- but married all the same. He gets in touch every so often to see if I'm still with that 'guy'- heh heh, the guy i replaced him with. Do you mean that awesome guy who treats me like gold...why yes, I AM still with him!

One I caught camming sexually to an unknown party. He tried to get me back a year later by telling me he needed me as his mother had died. She hadn't died and there wasn't a chance in hell I'd go back anyway.

One turned out to be a whiner and complainer and would rather whine and complain than do anything about his situation. Hard to respect someone like that. He was also very unclear on what he wanted and I got tired of waiting around to find out. He checked in again lately to see if I'd be interested in picking up where we left off...I wasn't.

One was completely self absorbed to the point where i wondered if he ever noticed that I was in the room too. I should have caught on sooner but didn't. He tried for a while to get some booty calls after I stopped seeing him but it didn't work. Sex with him was horrible- I do better on my own.

One just disappeared, didn't call me anymore, didn't respond to my attempts at getting in touch, and I never found out why. He did this to me twice because like an idiot I took him back after the first time. He recently called again to see if I was free which I wasn't. Even if I was single I'd not see him again because he will disappear sooner or later- only a matter of time.

One was supposed to take depression medication and didn't. We just didn't really do anything together anymore because he wasn't interested in it or was tired. We really got along well but I couldn't force the man to take care of himself and I couldn't see much of a future with him if he didn't want to. Plus he didn't really know what he wanted as far as a relationship went and I just couldn't wait around anymore.

(in reply to sofuntoplay)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Ending relationships, what were your reasons? - 12/29/2009 4:32:55 PM   
itsmeinLV


Posts: 207
Joined: 12/23/2009
Status: offline 		Things happened when it wasn't supposed to happen.  But we all move on, don't we?  

(in reply to osf)
Profile   Post #: 40
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