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ORIGINAL: osf

what is your definition of a needy submissive and is it a bad thing?

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ORIGINAL: Acer49

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

what is your definition of a needy submissive and is it a bad thing?

Being needy is a condition associated with being a man or woman, the fact that they are a dom or sub is immaterial

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ORIGINAL: DesFIP
Needy is just a snotty way of slamming someone you aren't compatible with.

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ORIGINAL: Aileen1968
How is it associated with being a man or a woman? I don't understand this.

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ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

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ORIGINAL: Acer49

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

what is your definition of a needy submissive and is it a bad thing?

Being needy is a condition associated with being a man or woman, the fact that they are a dom or sub is immaterial

How is it associated with being a man or a woman? I don't understand this.

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ORIGINAL: NormalOutside

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP
Needy is just a snotty way of slamming someone you aren't compatible with.

Exactly! It's just like calling someone a "fake sub". They aren't fake - nobody's fake. We're all real. It's just another way of putting someone down instead of admitting that you and they just aren't suited for each other.

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Needy is just a snotty way of slamming someone you aren't compatible with.

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ORIGINAL: DesFIP

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968
How is it associated with being a man or a woman? I don't understand this.

Neediness or having unmet needs is part of what makes us human. It is part of why we strive, why we are not still hunter gatherers on the savanna as were our ancestors. We have desires, needs, ambitions and we seek to fulfill them. Whether in terms of human contact, or in search of knowledge, we are in many ways driven by our unmet needs.

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ORIGINAL: vincentML

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968
How is it associated with being a man or a woman? I don't understand this.

Neediness or having unmet needs is part of what makes us human. It is part of why we strive, why we are not still hunter gatherers on the savanna as were our ancestors. We have desires, needs, ambitions and we seek to fulfill them. Whether in terms of human contact, or in search of knowledge, we are in many ways driven by our unmet needs.

"I want to be kissed with inspiration...." (old, old song) osf seems to have trouble with that human contact thingie. But an all around nice guy. Not being sarcastic at all, osf.

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968
How is it associated with being a man or a woman? I don't understand this.

Neediness or having unmet needs is part of what makes us human. It is part of why we strive, why we are not still hunter gatherers on the savanna as were our ancestors. We have desires, needs, ambitions and we seek to fulfill them. Whether in terms of human contact, or in search of knowledge, we are in many ways driven by our unmet needs.

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

It's a mismatch in terms of contact. I know a woman who talks to her long term dominant once a week during the week very briefly to firm up plans about meeting that weekend. That's all the contact either one of them need.

I would be considered needy to someone like that. Hell, she would consider The Man needy because he wants a lot more contact than that. But instead of saying that I'm needy and she's a cold fish, both of which are pejorative terms, it makes a great deal more sense to say that we require different levels of contact and because we were all smart enough to discuss this beforehand, both of us are happy in long term relationships where our needs are met and compatible.

Needy is just a snotty way of slamming someone you aren't compatible with.

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ORIGINAL: osf

what is your definition of a needy submissive and is it a bad thing?

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ORIGINAL: sweetsub1957

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

what is your definition of a needy submissive and is it a bad thing?

If anything, I'm thinking that sub-frenzy is the ultimate in being needy/greedy in an unhealthy way.  I remember those days, and I'm glad they're past.  But overall, I think "needy" is just another way to trash someone who doesn't match up well with your own wants/needs.

Now, if I were in a D/s relationship, I would want to be serving Him as much as possible, and I don't think that's a bad thing.  I would also want to have a decent amount of time with Him and, yes, I would want some attention, and I don't think that's necessarilly a bad thing either.  I think when it becomes incessantly annoying, that's when some people see "need" as being "needy."  Since I long ago recovered from my newbie sub-frenzy, I've never been told I'm annoying, so I guess that's a good thing.

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ORIGINAL: Psychonaut23

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

It's a mismatch in terms of contact. I know a woman who talks to her long term dominant once a week during the week very briefly to firm up plans about meeting that weekend. That's all the contact either one of them need.

I would be considered needy to someone like that. Hell, she would consider The Man needy because he wants a lot more contact than that. But instead of saying that I'm needy and she's a cold fish, both of which are pejorative terms, it makes a great deal more sense to say that we require different levels of contact and because we were all smart enough to discuss this beforehand, both of us are happy in long term relationships where our needs are met and compatible.

Needy is just a snotty way of slamming someone you aren't compatible with.

I wasn't quite sure what "needy" meant, but this comment cleared it up.

If "neediness" is measure in the amount of time the sub needs to be in the presence of the Dom, then I can tolerate a pretty ridiculous amount of that, as long as she can be quiet when I'm writing and understands that my writing time is a communication-free time in which I have no desire to talk to anyone or give them any attention.  But hell, other than that she can weld herself to my hip-pocket for all I care.