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RE: can someone help me with this Mistress - 12/29/2009 7:38:59 AM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		Ok, you want friendly advice?

You are 22 years old. Take whatever wisdom you have aquired over those 22 years and apply it to EVERY part of your life.

You may live to be 32.



Jeff

_____________________________

"If you don't live it, it won't come out your horn." Charlie Parker

(in reply to LowlyArtist)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: can someone help me with this Mistress - 12/29/2009 7:42:27 AM   
LowlyArtist


Posts: 12
Joined: 7/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

Ok, you want friendly advice?

You are 22 years old. Take whatever wisdom you have aquired over those 22 years and apply it to EVERY part of your life.

You may live to be 32.



Jeff


I'm sorry.

(in reply to Jeffff)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: can someone help me with this Mistress - 12/29/2009 7:43:07 AM   
Lucienne


Posts: 1175
Joined: 9/5/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: vincentML


quote:

ORIGINAL: LowlyArtist

the intelligence of the collective is greater than the intelligence of the singular.


I wish you would change your picture. Really don't need to see male arse.


I vote for keeping the picture. It's a decent arse. This site needs more beefcake.

(in reply to vincentML)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: can someone help me with this Mistress - 12/29/2009 7:43:56 AM   
MissHarlet


Posts: 2728
Joined: 9/11/2005
From: El Paso , TX US
Status: offline 		I dont think anyone was deliberatly insulting you ... just offering advice .. in a manner that would get your attention and make you think

_____________________________

Protectress of hearts/souls of all submissives calling Bounty's Place home, by order of Bounty~Proprietor

To be respected you must be respectful, to be loved you must be willing to love,
to be trusted you must be willing to trust.

(in reply to vincentML)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: can someone help me with this Mistress - 12/29/2009 7:46:01 AM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LowlyArtist
I'm sorry.



Why?...... you don't owe me anything. Thats kinda the point here...lololol

I will the 300 though.... if it is really burning a whole in your pocket..:)


Jeff

_____________________________

"If you don't live it, it won't come out your horn." Charlie Parker

(in reply to LowlyArtist)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: can someone help me with this Mistress - 12/29/2009 7:50:09 AM   
LowlyArtist


Posts: 12
Joined: 7/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

quote:

ORIGINAL: LowlyArtist
I'm sorry.



Why?...... you don't owe me anything. Thats kinda the point here...lololol

I will the 300 though.... if it is really burning a whole in your pocket..:)


Jeff


lol, you need to at least dangle the possibility. Christmas already burned a whole in my pocket............ the 300 would set me on fire.

(in reply to Jeffff)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: can someone help me with this Mistress - 12/29/2009 7:52:11 AM   
MistressOfGa


Posts: 2929
Status: offline
quote:

However I wanted to know how I should proceed with my questioning of meetings or phone conversations until I could be sure they were either genuine of fake. I dont want to just accuse her, and find out she is genuine.


Op,
I won't go into the why's you should not send her money, you have already stated you will not send it. I will, however give you advice on how to proceed, which is what you are asking for.
 
1.You tell her that you will not make another move until you can speak to her on the phone. Tell her it is for her protection as it is for yours "I think you will agree, that we both need to protect ourselves". Put the ball in her court, that way she is being the dominant person here and what she chooses to do with it, is still her choice. Also, it shows her you care about the safety of both of you.
 
2. You ask her to send you a photo through email of her holding up a sign with her screen name and date on it. You tell her that you will also do the same for her. It is all about give and take. Each time you suggests that she do something for you, then tell her you will be doing the same for her, so that she will not have any worries about who you are. Let her know that everything you are doing, you are doing for her comfort. Even if it is not the truth and you are simply trying to find out if she is real.
 
If she says that you are taking on the dominant personality, tell her "No, I am being cautious, because I care about your safety as well". Most Domina's I know, will appreciate your thoughtfulness and will not chastise you for thinking with the head on your shoulders, instead of the head between your legs.
 
My personal opinion is that she is a scammer. If she is not willing to assure your safety and comfort by proving who she is, then she is incapable of being the kind of Domina that, in my opinion, you would want in your life. You are worth more than that, and if you think you aren't, then you will attract those who will think the same thing about you.
 
There are many "fake" dominants and submissives out there. I hope that if you do take my advice, you will use these same methods for anyone you do not feel comfortable with. You are ahead of the game, simply because you recognize red flags.  99% of the time, you will find them to be correct.
 
Good luck to you.
 
MoGa

_____________________________





(in reply to MissHarlet)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: can someone help me with this Mistress - 12/29/2009 7:52:13 AM   
OttersSwim


Posts: 2860
Joined: 9/1/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LowlyArtist


quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

quote:

ORIGINAL: LowlyArtist
I'm sorry.



Why?...... you don't owe me anything. Thats kinda the point here...lololol

I will the 300 though.... if it is really burning a whole in your pocket..:)


Jeff


lol, you need to at least dangle the possibility. Christmas already burned a whole in my pocket............ the 300 would set me on fire.


Careful...some people here would find that highly entertaining. 


_____________________________

I am on a journey of authenticity and self.

(in reply to LowlyArtist)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: can someone help me with this Mistress - 12/29/2009 7:55:20 AM   
CarrieO


Posts: 2432
Joined: 1/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

Ok, you want friendly advice?

You are 22 years old. Take whatever wisdom you have aquired over those 22 years and apply it to EVERY part of your life.

You may live to be 32.



Jeff


I'm sorry but that makes way too much sense to be posted on these boards.

_____________________________

"No matter what happens in the kitchen, never apologize"~Julia Child~


(in reply to Jeffff)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: can someone help me with this Mistress - 12/29/2009 7:55:41 AM   
LowlyArtist


Posts: 12
Joined: 7/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressOfGa

quote:

However I wanted to know how I should proceed with my questioning of meetings or phone conversations until I could be sure they were either genuine of fake. I dont want to just accuse her, and find out she is genuine.


Op,
I won't go into the why's you should not send her money, you have already stated you will not send it. I will, however give you advice on how to proceed, which is what you are asking for.
 
1.You tell her that you will not make another move until you can speak to her on the phone. Tell her it is for her protection as it is for yours "I think you will agree, that we both need to protect ourselves". Put the ball in her court, that way she is being the dominant person here and what she chooses to do with it, is still her choice. Also, it shows her you care about the safety of both of you.
 


2. You ask her to send you a photo through email of her holding up a sign with her screen name and date on it. You tell her that you will also do the same for her. It is all about give and take. Each time you suggests that she do something for you, then tell her you will be doing the same for her, so that she will not have any worries about who you are. Let her know that everything you are doing, you are doing for her comfort. Even if it is not the truth and you are simply trying to find out if she is real.
 
If she says that you are taking on the dominant personality, tell her "No, I am being cautious, because I care about your safety as well". Most Domina's I know, will appreciate your thoughtfulness and will not chastise you for thinking with the head on your shoulders, instead of the head between your legs.
 
My personal opinion is that she is a scammer. If she is not willing to assure your safety and comfort by proving who she is, then she is incapable of being the kind of Domina that, in my opinion, you would want in your life. You are worth more than that, and if you think you aren't, then you will attract those who will think the same thing about you.
 
There are many "fake" dominants and submissives out there. I hope that if you do take my advice, you will use these same methods for anyone you do not feel comfortable with. You are ahead of the game, simply because you recognize red flags.  99% of the time, you will find them to be correct.
 
Good luck to you.
 
MoGa


Thank you, that is extremely helpful.

< Message edited by LowlyArtist -- 12/29/2009 7:56:24 AM >

(in reply to MistressOfGa)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: can someone help me with this Mistress - 12/29/2009 7:57:33 AM   
MistressOfGa


Posts: 2929
Status: offline
quote:

Careful...some people here would find that highly entertaining. 


I am one of them



_____________________________





(in reply to OttersSwim)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: can someone help me with this Mistress - 12/29/2009 7:59:32 AM   
Drifa


Posts: 547
Joined: 7/27/2007
From: Rural Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: vincentML
I wish you would change your picture. Really don't need to see male arse.


In general, the ladies feel this way also. I think it's Ms. Lockit that has the sig line about not wanting to see a guy's cock before she even knows his real name.  That being said, at least this nude is fairly tastefully done.

OP, if I may, your profile is all about your kinks. You will tend to get more real women and fewer scammers if you present yourself as a person outside of your kinks. Women can get sex, even kinky sex, anywhere, there are tons of fellows wanting to provide it. You need to present whatever it is about you that would make a dominant woman choose you above all the teeming throng.

Women don't have the direct "eyes to groin" wiring that men do in general, so naked guy pics are not as good an advertisement. I think most dommes would prefer a pic that reflects something about how you might serve them. Also, think about what women find ROMANTIC. Because before you get to have sex or kink, you have to get to know and seduce the lady into choosing you, you know!

Speaking as a artist myself, now, some ideas sub men might consider when selecting their photos...

A man in an elegant suit is usually very nice - you can add a subtle bit of kink by having a pair of BDSM triskelion cufflinks, or a leather restraint cuff just peeking out of your sleeve, or an artful arrangement with a rose and its thorns.

If you're the handy sort, a "sexy construction worker" pic with a hard hat and toolbelt and bare chest would be one idea. Or get a pic that shows you grinning while you are exposing some forearm muscle turning a wrench on a stubborn pipe.

If you are into domestic service, rent a tux and do the formal butler picture. Or go back to the suit and get a pic of you on one knee presenting a silver platter with a bottle of wine and a glass to an unseen person out of frame. Or consider a pic using a vacuum cleaner, bare chest, bare feet, nicely pressed denim jeans, and an apron, topped with a sassy smile.

Since you're an artist and I see painting and drawing in your list of skills, consider doing a canvas on an easel with a nice drawing/painting of your dream domme in progress, and having a friend photograph you working on it. That might be one way to serve a domme -- giving of yourself via art is very sexy. I could also see a more playful pic of you in jeans, barechested, with colorful paint streaks here and there and a sassy grin.

The nude you present would probably be very attractive to a gay male dominant. And if that's the partner you want, then your hook is correctly baited. If you want a dominant female, though, as any good artist should, consider your audience in crafting your image.




(in reply to vincentML)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: can someone help me with this Mistress - 12/29/2009 7:59:33 AM   
vincentML


Posts: 9980
Joined: 10/31/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lucienne

quote:

ORIGINAL: vincentML


quote:

ORIGINAL: LowlyArtist

the intelligence of the collective is greater than the intelligence of the singular.


I wish you would change your picture. Really don't need to see male arse.


I vote for keeping the picture. It's a decent arse. This site needs more beefcake.



I amended my request. I was too selfish, Lucienne.

quote:

In general, the ladies feel this way also. I think it's Ms. Lockit that has the sig line about not wanting to see a guy's cock before she even knows his real name. That being said, at least this nude is fairly tastefully done.


You put me astraddle the fence, Drifa..... *sighs but smiling*

< Message edited by vincentML -- 12/29/2009 8:02:12 AM >

_____________________________

vML

Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter. ~ MLK Jr.

(in reply to Lucienne)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: can someone help me with this Mistress - 12/29/2009 7:59:38 AM   
VampiresLair


Posts: 1307
Joined: 9/3/2008
Status: offline 		If she were not a seld proclaimed Dominant, but were a vanilla woman and you were courting her for example, would you consider sending 300 to somewhere to get her anything before you had met her? A serious investment like that is a bit major to make for equipment for "the both of you" if you dont even yet know if you can stand to be around her. Lots of people can be very positive online, and then when you meet them in person their reality falls grandly short of the picture you had previously. Besides, if the simple act of wanting to meet before spending large sums of money is what she considers dominant, then you are either going to have to be a spineless jellyfish to make her happy long term or you will always be dealing with accusations of topping from the bottom. Whats next, its a dominant act to dial the phone rather than to wait patiently for her to call you?

I believe I know the person you are speaking of , Fox has dealt with her when she tried to poach him. I do not believe she is worth the energy you are giving the subject, really. She had some not-so-gracious things to say about Fox being owned and how I wasnt "real" and things like that. Cut your ties and move on, find someone who has the priorities straigh, meet then worry about investing in the future you may or may not have together.

DV


_____________________________

Separately we are DiurnalVampire and DVsFox

10/18 Wedding date. 1 year and still blissfully happy

10/13/10 3 year anniversary of his becoming my Fox

Talk impolitely to me, baby - Thanks sunshinemiss



(in reply to OttersSwim)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: can someone help me with this Mistress - 12/29/2009 8:12:25 AM   
Lucienne


Posts: 1175
Joined: 9/5/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Drifa

The nude you present would probably be very attractive to a gay male dominant. And if that's the partner you want, then your hook is correctly baited.


All of your advice is sound. I'm just standing up for (the few?) straight women who look at 22 year old men through the eyes of a gay male dominant. (More ass!)

(in reply to Drifa)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: can someone help me with this Mistress - 12/29/2009 8:28:21 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		OP, you've been given some very practical advice on this thread.  It follows the very warning that is in big red letters that the site itself provides every time you go to your mailbox here.

Don't send money to other users of this site for any reason.

It really is that simple.

One thing I don't agree with is part of this below.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressOfGa

quote:

However I wanted to know how I should proceed with my questioning of meetings or phone conversations until I could be sure they were either genuine of fake. I dont want to just accuse her, and find out she is genuine.


Op,
I won't go into the why's you should not send her money, you have already stated you will not send it. I will, however give you advice on how to proceed, which is what you are asking for.
 
1.You tell her that you will not make another move until you can speak to her on the phone. Tell her it is for her protection as it is for yours "I think you will agree, that we both need to protect ourselves". Put the ball in her court, that way she is being the dominant person here and what she chooses to do with it, is still her choice. Also, it shows her you care about the safety of both of you.
 
2. You ask her to send you a photo through email of her holding up a sign with her screen name and date on it. You tell her that you will also do the same for her. It is all about give and take. Each time you suggests that she do something for you, then tell her you will be doing the same for her, so that she will not have any worries about who you are. Let her know that everything you are doing, you are doing for her comfort. Even if it is not the truth and you are simply trying to find out if she is real.
 
If she says that you are taking on the dominant personality, tell her "No, I am being cautious, because I care about your safety as well". Most Domina's I know, will appreciate your thoughtfulness and will not chastise you for thinking with the head on your shoulders, instead of the head between your legs.
 
My personal opinion is that she is a scammer. If she is not willing to assure your safety and comfort by proving who she is, then she is incapable of being the kind of Domina that, in my opinion, you would want in your life. You are worth more than that, and if you think you aren't, then you will attract those who will think the same thing about you.
 
There are many "fake" dominants and submissives out there. I hope that if you do take my advice, you will use these same methods for anyone you do not feel comfortable with. You are ahead of the game, simply because you recognize red flags.  99% of the time, you will find them to be correct.
 
Good luck to you.
 
MoGa

I've said this on other threads and I'll say it here again.  Personally, I won't do the highlighted above.  By now, if there aren't enough people out there connected to BDSM who can verify My existence, no picture of Me holding up a sign is going to do it.  Just My personal preference on the matter.




_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to MistressOfGa)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: can someone help me with this Mistress - 12/29/2009 8:33:12 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		While I agree with everything that has been posted, I'd like to add that even if she WERE legit, she'd be suggesting bondage on a first meet.

OP, play on a first meet is discouraged, although it happens (and I've done it myself).  Bur bondage, at least not at a play party, requires a lot of trust that isn't present at the first meet yet.


_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to Lucienne)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: can someone help me with this Mistress - 12/29/2009 9:08:33 AM   
SweetPoosy


Posts: 822
Joined: 3/12/2009
Status: offline 		OP, Drifa is so correct about how women are wired...and what we would rather see. Granted that your package is a nice one, personally, I'd rather save it for a surprise. She has great suggestions about how to present yourself, and were I you, I'd take her advice.

One other thing, in the profile we are speaking of, if you go to the third "loved" item down, I believe that you will discover a reason to steer well clear of this person...whether male in disguise or female. Anyone with that particular love is trouble on two feet, and it's a habit that never can be sated, and it explains why she REALLY wants your money!

Lady Pact, I agree that anyone who has been on the boards for even a few days can clearly see that you are a loved, respected, (and perhaps feared!) member of this forum. But the Mistress in question is NOT, therefore, proving her reality should be a matter of course, and what Mistress or Master refuses phone contact? That's a HUGE red flag.

OP, yes, we hear the same thing over and over again, but I still subscribe to the adage that there is no stupid question...unless the same person asks it over and over again. I wish you well, and I hope you can find someone to teach you the ropes...so to speak.

_____________________________

I've got 20 Fluffy Points, and you don't...Neener!

Don't piss me off, I've got a 600 foot mineshaft to hide the bodies!

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: can someone help me with this Mistress - 12/29/2009 9:12:26 AM   
thishereboi


Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline 		fr
If you want to send money to someone you haven't  met, go for it. Just don't come back here and start a thread about dommes ripping off poor subs online.


_____________________________

"Sweetie, you're wasting your gum" .. Albert


This here is the boi formerly known as orfunboi


(in reply to LowlyArtist)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: can someone help me with this Mistress - 12/29/2009 10:27:42 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SweetPoosy

Lady Pact, I agree that anyone who has been on the boards for even a few days can clearly see that you are a loved, respected, (and perhaps feared!) member of this forum. But the Mistress in question is NOT, therefore, proving her reality should be a matter of course, and what Mistress or Master refuses phone contact? That's a HUGE red flag.



Thank you, Sweet.  I understand that My opinion on the matter are different than some out there. 

It is because of knowing some folks who have a different experience than Mine that led Me to My comment.  Such a picture taken and sent to someone that has never been met can have repercussions for some.  Here in some states in the US, it could be enough to lose a job if their chosen profession is education.  Even being linked to this site by screen name can be damaging.

Thankfully, I don't have those worries, but I know some people do.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to SweetPoosy)
Profile   Post #: 40
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