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RE: can someone help me with this Mistress - 12/29/2009 11:03:17 AM   
vincentML


Posts: 9980
Joined: 10/31/2009
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quote:

2. You ask her to send you a photo through email of her holding up a sign with her screen name and date on it. You tell her that you will also do the same for her. It is all about give and take. Each time you suggests that she do something for you, then tell her you will be doing the same for her, so that she will not have any worries about who you are. Let her know that everything you are doing, you are doing for her comfort. Even if it is not the truth and you are simply trying to find out if she is real.


In the alternative request live cam and ask her to hold up to fingers or whatever to be sure it is not a pic held to the cam lens.

_____________________________

vML

Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter. ~ MLK Jr.

(in reply to MistressOfGa)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: can someone help me with this Mistress - 12/29/2009 11:15:38 AM   
DrkJourney


Posts: 1917
Joined: 5/6/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LowlyArtist

I have been talking to her for a while, and it has been a positive experience so far. However she asked me to sort out £300, which I am to send to an address of a bondage craft man/company, in order to purchase equipment for us, and then we will arrange a meeting. Now Obviously intelligence tells me to be cautious, so I have been asking her if it would be ok for me to bring a cheque or money etc with me when we meet, so we can sort out delivery addresses etc. But she stated that I was taking on a dominant position, which Im really not, I just want to make sure, she is who she says she is. I have tried everything, I have said we can talk on the phone, gave her my number. Im obviously not going to send money to a place when Im not sure who Im talking to. some advice would be greatly appreciated. (removed username)

thank you LowlyArtist


Are you kidding me?

This is a joke right?

_____________________________

...Look into my eyes and I'll own you....



(in reply to LowlyArtist)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: can someone help me with this Mistress - 12/29/2009 11:41:58 AM   
DrkJourney


Posts: 1917
Joined: 5/6/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: SweetPoosy

Lady Pact, I agree that anyone who has been on the boards for even a few days can clearly see that you are a loved, respected, (and perhaps feared!) member of this forum.

Thank you, Sweet.  I understand that My opinion on the matter are different than some out there. 

It is because of knowing some folks who have a different experience than Mine that led Me to My comment.  Such a picture taken and sent to someone that has never been met can have repercussions for some.  Here in some states in the US, it could be enough to lose a job if their chosen profession is education.  Even being linked to this site by screen name can be damaging.

Thankfully, I don't have those worries, but I know some people do.



I'm not a-skeerd of her....come get me LP   LOL

(ya know I loves ya!)

_____________________________

...Look into my eyes and I'll own you....



(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: can someone help me with this Mistress - 12/30/2009 7:29:36 AM   
MistressOfGa


Posts: 2929
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

OP, you've been given some very practical advice on this thread.  It follows the very warning that is in big red letters that the site itself provides every time you go to your mailbox here.

Don't send money to other users of this site for any reason.

It really is that simple.

One thing I don't agree with is part of this below.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressOfGa

quote:

However I wanted to know how I should proceed with my questioning of meetings or phone conversations until I could be sure they were either genuine of fake. I dont want to just accuse her, and find out she is genuine.


Op,
I won't go into the why's you should not send her money, you have already stated you will not send it. I will, however give you advice on how to proceed, which is what you are asking for.
 
1.You tell her that you will not make another move until you can speak to her on the phone. Tell her it is for her protection as it is for yours "I think you will agree, that we both need to protect ourselves". Put the ball in her court, that way she is being the dominant person here and what she chooses to do with it, is still her choice. Also, it shows her you care about the safety of both of you.
 
2. You ask her to send you a photo through email of her holding up a sign with her screen name and date on it. You tell her that you will also do the same for her. It is all about give and take. Each time you suggests that she do something for you, then tell her you will be doing the same for her, so that she will not have any worries about who you are. Let her know that everything you are doing, you are doing for her comfort. Even if it is not the truth and you are simply trying to find out if she is real.
 
If she says that you are taking on the dominant personality, tell her "No, I am being cautious, because I care about your safety as well". Most Domina's I know, will appreciate your thoughtfulness and will not chastise you for thinking with the head on your shoulders, instead of the head between your legs.
 
My personal opinion is that she is a scammer. If she is not willing to assure your safety and comfort by proving who she is, then she is incapable of being the kind of Domina that, in my opinion, you would want in your life. You are worth more than that, and if you think you aren't, then you will attract those who will think the same thing about you.
 
There are many "fake" dominants and submissives out there. I hope that if you do take my advice, you will use these same methods for anyone you do not feel comfortable with. You are ahead of the game, simply because you recognize red flags.  99% of the time, you will find them to be correct.
 
Good luck to you.
 
MoGa

I've said this on other threads and I'll say it here again.  Personally, I won't do the highlighted above.  By now, if there aren't enough people out there connected to BDSM who can verify My existence, no picture of Me holding up a sign is going to do it.  Just My personal preference on the matter.




Lp, I agree as well about that, I would not do it either. But the point I was trying to make to the OP was that if she is hedging around about proving herself to be a real woman etc. then yes, it would be prudent on his part to ask for more than just her word written out in a chatbox. If anyone questioned you or I, we would simply make a phone call to the potential. If a Domina is interested in a potential sub, and is not willing to make a simple phone call to verify or prove gender, then they aren't going to send a photo of themselves to prove it either.

_____________________________





(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: can someone help me with this Mistress - 12/30/2009 7:53:14 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
Oh, I'm not saying at all not to be leery of someone who can't find some way or another that they are who they say they are.  Yes, a simple phone call, a picture from somewhere or another, a reference from someone that both parties know, etc.  There would have to be some thing that both parties would agree to that would fit the situation.

I guess I'm kind of hung up on the whole idea of, if someone doesn't even know who they are really dealing with, why give them money, power, or any other thing?


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to MistressOfGa)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: can someone help me with this Mistress - 12/30/2009 2:41:11 PM   
LowlyArtist


Posts: 12
Joined: 7/27/2008
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well, problem solved today anyway:

I asked her How long she'd/he'd lived in Nothinham Forest

to which she replied 'all my life'

to which I replied, is that long enough to realize that it is actually Nottingham where you are supposedly from, and that Nottingham Forest is actually a football team

to which she replied with a volley of abuse, insulting me and saying Im not fit to be a slave, Im trying to take a dominant stance and so on and so forth.


thanks for the help anyway everyone :DD
Will be back in the forums, hopefully with less ridiculous questions, lol.

LowlyArtist

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: can someone help me with this Mistress - 12/30/2009 2:50:40 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline
well, I would let people think me ridiculous and kiss their ass on mainstreet and give them an hour to draw a crowd if I could save three hundred pounds from leaving my wallet on a cloth-eared bint of that magnificence.

so, hardly ridiculous, your question.

Ron(ne)

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Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to LowlyArtist)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: can someone help me with this Mistress - 12/30/2009 2:57:07 PM   
Lucienne


Posts: 1175
Joined: 9/5/2009
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And... now she's reading this thread. HI!!!

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Profile   Post #: 48
RE: can someone help me with this Mistress - 12/30/2009 2:59:59 PM   
mistressalex79


Posts: 1
Joined: 12/15/2009
Status: offline
you might just be wrong because I have been a such scenario in the past

(in reply to vincentML)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: can someone help me with this Mistress - 12/30/2009 3:30:39 PM   
LowlyArtist


Posts: 12
Joined: 7/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mistressalex79

you might just be wrong because I have been a such scenario in the past




If I was wrong about you, I dont know what I could have done to be right.

< Message edited by LowlyArtist -- 12/30/2009 3:53:16 PM >

(in reply to mistressalex79)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: can someone help me with this Mistress - 12/30/2009 3:48:20 PM   
Lucienne


Posts: 1175
Joined: 9/5/2009
Status: offline
EDIT EDIT EDIT for fucks sake DELETE YOUR POST

don't get me wrong, I love reading this, but you should probably keep it private.

(in reply to LowlyArtist)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: can someone help me with this Mistress - 12/30/2009 3:53:50 PM   
LowlyArtist


Posts: 12
Joined: 7/27/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lucienne

EDIT EDIT EDIT for fucks sake DELETE YOUR POST

don't get me wrong, I love reading this, but you should probably keep it private.



Edited :) sorry

(in reply to Lucienne)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: can someone help me with this Mistress - 12/30/2009 5:08:23 PM   
Politesub53


Posts: 14862
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LowlyArtist

well, problem solved today anyway:

I asked her How long she'd/he'd lived in Nothinham Forest

to which she replied 'all my life'

to which I replied, is that long enough to realize that it is actually Nottingham where you are supposedly from, and that Nottingham Forest is actually a football team

to which she replied with a volley of abuse, insulting me and saying Im not fit to be a slave, Im trying to take a dominant stance and so on and so forth.


thanks for the help anyway everyone :DD
Will be back in the forums, hopefully with less ridiculous questions, lol.

LowlyArtist


I dont understand youre thinking, seriously. Here you are, asking starngers for advice about sending someone money. Yet you admit to thinking she was a fake due saying she lived in a place that YOU know doesnt exist. My point to you is this, if you know her address is fake, why would a request for money be genuine ?

I guess it could have been worse, she could have lived in Sheffield Wednesday, only on one day a week though. ( Alert to Americans, this is a football joke lol )

(in reply to LowlyArtist)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: can someone help me with this Mistress - 12/30/2009 5:21:09 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LowlyArtist

quote:

ORIGINAL: mistressalex79

you might just be wrong because I have been a such scenario in the past




If I was wrong about you, I dont know what I could have done to be right.

Would that be in the last fifteen days, since that's as old as the joining date on your profile?

No offense, but I couldn't resist.




_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to LowlyArtist)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: can someone help me with this Mistress - 12/30/2009 6:27:50 PM   
LowlyArtist


Posts: 12
Joined: 7/27/2008
Status: offline


I dont understand youre thinking, seriously. Here you are, asking starngers for advice about sending someone money. Yet you admit to thinking she was a fake due saying she lived in a place that YOU know doesnt exist. My point to you is this, if you know her address is fake, why would a request for money be genuine ?

I guess it could have been worse, she could have lived in Sheffield Wednesday, only on one day a week though. ( Alert to Americans, this is a football joke lo
l )


well I was willing to accept that the profile spelling "Nothinham forest" may have just been a typing error. But when she said again that she was from Nothinham forest, I knew she was obviously lying.

< Message edited by LowlyArtist -- 12/30/2009 6:28:50 PM >

(in reply to Politesub53)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: can someone help me with this Mistress - 12/30/2009 7:08:07 PM   
seekingOwnertoo


Posts: 1323
Joined: 8/1/2009
Status: offline
Frankly, you are being conned ... do NOT ... for any of these reasons ... send Her money.

When you have never met someone, in person.

When you do not have her phone number.

When she alleges that sending her money is a prerequiste to do either of the above ...

Do nothing but run ... as far and as fast as possible!

There are some excellent Con's on this site ... both male and female.

Some have spent time in jail, again, both male and female.

They play to what other thread's refer to as sub frenzy.

i once was contacted by a girl in Flint, MI. She gave me an address on Bristol Road (like this is an original name). Little did she know, I can drive there and did. Of course, there was no such address. When confronted with the facts .. she claimed there was another road by the same name and i must have driven down the wrong street.

Some time after visiting the local Sheriff ... it was discovered she was a previously CONVICTED CON ARTIST. Seems she simply did not expect to meet a truly single guy ... here on CM. Moreover, one who would go to the authorities ... (there is nothing illegal in my activites)

So naturally .. she went back to jail ... for another 6 months ... and is now back on Collar me again ....

So do NOT send money, no matter how convincing she is ....

Do not give into sub frenzy ... and be stupid ...

Even though You are submissive ... evaluate a potential Dominant in terms of the morals, values and other inner things She projects!

In fact ... i am thinking ... a Dominant (like this lady claims to be) should not need to ask for money .... LOL

Good luck ... and i hope YOU take this plain and simple advice ... RUN RUN RUN ... get rid of HEr and find a real Dominant!!!!

(in reply to LowlyArtist)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: can someone help me with this Mistress - 12/30/2009 7:48:26 PM   
seekingOwnertoo


Posts: 1323
Joined: 8/1/2009
Status: offline
And one more thought ... if you are looking to give money away ... there are numerous charities that really need help in todays economy ... send your money to them ... not some girl who is scamming you ...

That said ... if you are a pro domme reading this ... i am not talking about you ... you are upfront in your intentions and desires ...

Rather i am speaking of those CON ARTISTS who use this site to get money under false identities ... basically pretending to be hard working Women who have had a bad turn in life ... but fail to provide one with any information, blah, blah, blah ... and have no intention of really connecting ....

you know ... the word is CON ARTIST ....

(in reply to seekingOwnertoo)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: can someone help me with this Mistress - 12/31/2009 7:04:59 AM   
LowlyArtist


Posts: 12
Joined: 7/27/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: seekingOwnertoo

And one more thought ... if you are looking to give money away ... there are numerous charities that really need help in todays economy ... send your money to them ... not some girl who is scamming you ...



I would have happily used the money. if I knew she was genuine. This thread was about how I could ascertain whether she was genuine, not about me giving my money away.

(in reply to seekingOwnertoo)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: can someone help me with this Mistress - 12/31/2009 7:12:29 AM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline
I am genuine.


Send me some money.



MistressJeff

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(in reply to LowlyArtist)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: can someone help me with this Mistress - 12/31/2009 7:20:55 AM   
Lucienne


Posts: 1175
Joined: 9/5/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: seekingOwnertoo

i once was contacted by a girl in Flint, MI. She gave me an address on Bristol Road (like this is an original name). Little did she know, I can drive there and did.


I feel like this should be a scene in a Coen brothers film. Little did she know, I can drive to Flint, MI!

(in reply to seekingOwnertoo)
Profile   Post #: 60
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