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MistressOfGa -> RE: can someone help me with this Mistress (12/30/2009 7:29:36 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: LadyPact
OP, you've been given some very practical advice on this thread. It follows the very warning that is in big red letters that the site itself provides every time you go to your mailbox here.
Don't send money to other users of this site for any reason.
It really is that simple.
One thing I don't agree with is part of this below.
quote:
ORIGINAL: MistressOfGa
quote:
However I wanted to know how I should proceed with my questioning of meetings or phone conversations until I could be sure they were either genuine of fake. I dont want to just accuse her, and find out she is genuine.
Op,
I won't go into the why's you should not send her money, you have already stated you will not send it. I will, however give you advice on how to proceed, which is what you are asking for.
1.You tell her that you will not make another move until you can speak to her on the phone. Tell her it is for her protection as it is for yours "I think you will agree, that we both need to protect ourselves". Put the ball in her court, that way she is being the dominant person here and what she chooses to do with it, is still her choice. Also, it shows her you care about the safety of both of you.
2. You ask her to send you a photo through email of her holding up a sign with her screen name and date on it. You tell her that you will also do the same for her. It is all about give and take. Each time you suggests that she do something for you, then tell her you will be doing the same for her, so that she will not have any worries about who you are. Let her know that everything you are doing, you are doing for her comfort. Even if it is not the truth and you are simply trying to find out if she is real.
If she says that you are taking on the dominant personality, tell her "No, I am being cautious, because I care about your safety as well". Most Domina's I know, will appreciate your thoughtfulness and will not chastise you for thinking with the head on your shoulders, instead of the head between your legs.
My personal opinion is that she is a scammer. If she is not willing to assure your safety and comfort by proving who she is, then she is incapable of being the kind of Domina that, in my opinion, you would want in your life. You are worth more than that, and if you think you aren't, then you will attract those who will think the same thing about you.
There are many "fake" dominants and submissives out there. I hope that if you do take my advice, you will use these same methods for anyone you do not feel comfortable with. You are ahead of the game, simply because you recognize red flags. 99% of the time, you will find them to be correct.
Good luck to you.
MoGa
I've said this on other threads and I'll say it here again. Personally, I won't do the highlighted above. By now, if there aren't enough people out there connected to BDSM who can verify My existence, no picture of Me holding up a sign is going to do it. Just My personal preference on the matter.
Lp, I agree as well about that, I would not do it either. But the point I was trying to make to the OP was that if she is hedging around about proving herself to be a real woman etc. then yes, it would be prudent on his part to ask for more than just her word written out in a chatbox. If anyone questioned you or I, we would simply make a phone call to the potential. If a Domina is interested in a potential sub, and is not willing to make a simple phone call to verify or prove gender, then they aren't going to send a photo of themselves to prove it either.
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