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Lucienne -> RE: Misogyny and BDSM (12/30/2009 5:18:13 AM)
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ORIGINAL: Aswad
The culture that most men assimilate is the androculture. The culture that most women assimilate is the gynoculture. The two are not interchangeable, though they are sufficiently compatible to allow most interactions to be passable, kind of like how someone from a hood area in the US might interact with the nobility in the UK and not necessarily bungle everything. There will be friction, though, unless someone reaches out to teach the differences.
Well, that's just a load of hogwash. A google search didn't show much use of the terms. Are there any remotely academic papers that approach gender socialization as different "cultures"? I ask because it's easy enough for us to throw around terms like "culture," but people who make a systematic study of these things tend to be more precise and attendant to meaning. I think that approaching gender socialization as different cultures, particularly the extreme example you gave, is not only incorrect, but harmfully divisive.
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A woman who has assimilated androculture, like my dear, exhibits many of the same behaviors as men, espouses a lot of the same values, has just as much trouble as a man in relating to women, and is likely to be confused with a man in a forum that doesn't list gender, or to be considered "one of the guys" at a predominantly male social event. The ways a woman would normally build social bonds are lost on a woman that has assimilated androculture. And vice versa.
Interesting, but still more hogwash. As for internet forums, at least on forums heavily populated with americans, the default assumption is that a poster is a straight white male unless otherwise indicated. (I believe there actually has been studies of that, but I can't find one at the moment.)
Want to be confused with a man on the internet? Choose a gender neutral handle, don't attach a photo, and don't post things like "As a woman, I think..." It's actually pretty funny. With a gender neutral handle, I can go on about the joys of sucking cock and the dudes reading it will assume I'm a gay man before they get around to wondering if I'm a chick. My handle here is actually a female name and I've been repeatedly mistaken for a man on this forum. Just yesterday, as a matter of fact. I suggested that the reason for the mistake is the movie Underworld. The person responded, maybe that's it, but also that I don't post like a whiney bitch. Do I really post "like a man," or is there something else going on here?
As for real life interaction... I've got the honorary man card. I have many male friends. I am "just one of the guys (that many of them hit on at one point but realized it was fruitless)" at predominately male social events. Hell, I'm frequently "just one of the guys" at mixed gender events.
The ways that women build social bonds are not lost on me. I have close female friends. I suppose this means, by your thinking, that I've not fully assimilated "androculture." I think it means that I was raised as a feminist, encouraged to be comfortable with who I am, relate to people as people, and not get overly caught up in gender expectations.
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Realizing that one is dealing with two seperate, valid cultures with superficial similarities is an important step in having better relations with each other.
I see that you have good intentions. But I disagree.
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Imagine if you were to try to befriend someone from an oriental country, or the middle east, and insisted on interacting on your own culture's terms at all times. That certainly wouldn't give optimal results. If, on the other hand, both take the time to understand the differences, good results will be had.
Asian. Not "oriental." Using "oriental" makes you sound either really old or mildly uneducated. I have made friends with people from different cultures. It's really not even close to the experience of interacting with men of my own culture.
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