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To the submissive men, have you ever felt torn about this? Have you ever honestly felt you were over fetishizing a Domme? Why do you think that was? How did you work through this? If applicable, how did a Domme help you work through this?

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ORIGINAL: pollux

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ORIGINAL: seekingOwnertoo

Have W/we asked a different question .... if a man was soooo hungry .... wouldn't he learn to become a better hunter?

Good question... And the same could easily be asked of the women here, too.

I wonder how many threads & posts we've had from female dominants bemoaning the fact that male subs aren't interested in them as human beings?  And always -- ALWAYS -- 100% of the blame lies with the men.   "Help!  My inbox is filled with email from horny wankers!"  "Help! The men I date don't see me as a whole person!"  "Help! My sub only sees me as a life-support system for their fetish!"

You'd think after a while that they might consider that the problem may not lie entirely with the men.  Heaven forfend the women turn inward for a nanosecond, and consider changing themselves, or *their* strategy.

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I wonder how many threads & posts we've had from female dominants bemoaning the fact that male subs aren't interested in them as human beings? And always -- ALWAYS -- 100% of the blame lies with the men. "Help! My inbox is filled with email from horny wankers!" "Help! The men I date don't see me as a whole person!" "Help! My sub only sees me as a life-support system for their fetish!"

You'd think after a while that they might consider that the problem may not lie entirely with the men. Heaven forfend the women turn inward for a nanosecond, and consider changing themselves, or *their* strategy.

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ORIGINAL: LadyPact
Now, is it easier to try to find a person who is in a crowd with a rough description (5'2", red hair) or is it easier to say I'll be wearing that outfit?

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ORIGINAL: vincentML

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To the submissive men, have you ever felt torn about this? Have you ever honestly felt you were over fetishizing a Domme? Why do you think that was? How did you work through this? If applicable, how did a Domme help you work through this?

For me, Lady Angelika, the question overflows with accusations and guilt.

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With all respect to you it is like a woman asking why do men look at my breasts when there is so much more to me as a human being? I have skimmed through many of the posts and they seems to fall within the parameters of expectations you declared in your OP.

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I would like to suggest that the question can be more readily dealt with not within the psychosexual realm of human relations but as a problem of communication of meaning. My thought is we do not communicate ideas only by linear language set in print. First impressions and even lasting impressions both in advertising and in BDSM are conveyed most powerfully by graphics - by drawings and photos.

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To keep this short and to the point, it strikes me that you are asking the wrong question.

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I think it is a given that submissive men are by the nature of their brain construction and cognition quite naturally attracted by various images of Dominant Women and that Dommes in turn quite naturally (having the same congition structure as men) advertise themselves by employing those images. I am not suggesting that this is a form of seduction to which men are victimized, although I find that a rather lovely thought. "Too weak to break the chains that bind me, I need no shackles to remind me, I'm just a prisoner of (D/s) love." lol I wish to suggest it is the way the mind works. It is very powerful and economical to send meaning by graphic symbols.

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I am suggesting that over fetishization is an improper characterization for a normally accepted means of advertising. Once that premise is accepted, the question then becomes how do the Domme/sub couple get beyond the wants and expectations created by the advertising (again, which I view as normal and economical) to communications where they can build a mutually satisfying acceptance of each other's humanities, exceptionalities, flaws, etc and establish a relationship in which love will endure?

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Being in the environment where too many sadist with toys about (ready to pop said balloon).

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I don't exactly use this as a dating site. I do, however, use it as a connection site.

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ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

Peon!

<growls all Domly like>

I think you need to change that profile picture of yours because when I look at it, that smooth tanned back, the curves over those firm buttocks, I forget all the intelligent things you ever posted and simply see you as a hunky beatable piece of man meat!

- LA

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ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

And when I asked you back on post 121 for your perspective in PM on how I might adjust the writing in my text to convey the fact that I was a naturally dominant woman, demonstrating willingness to adapt, to consider the other's point of view and to a certain degree opening myself up to critique, you responded in post 123 with an open attack on my avatar.

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ORIGINAL: PeonForHer
Unfortunately, though, I'm still single and beating my own meat. 

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ORIGINAL: omkfY

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ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

And when I asked you back on post 121 for your perspective in PM on how I might adjust the writing in my text to convey the fact that I was a naturally dominant woman, demonstrating willingness to adapt, to consider the other's point of view and to a certain degree opening myself up to critique, you responded in post 123 with an open attack on my avatar.

I think Your profile is quite clear in describing the type of male submissive You seek, and my inclination is that any misunderstanding probably lies squarely on the shoulders of the men who fail to read it (which would indicate that they probably would never be good matches for You).

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If You are hoping for less of these incompatibles to write in the first place, my only suggestion would be to tone down the kink slightly (an example would be simply removing "as well as tying up my submissive partner, torturing him to my delight with a variety of instruments, including canes, whips, clamps, my hands and teeth even").

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If You leave it in (and I think You should), I would just suggest fixing the minor grammatical mistake that follows: "he can't take no more."

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ORIGINAL: SDFemDom4cuck

LA I do editing for a living freelance at the moment..if you would like I can help you with that. Just PM me. 

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1) how do we get passed the supercial side of BDSM and get real images of real Dominant women out there that don't compromise their desire to express their sexuality, sensuality, personality and intelligence and 2) is there are way to work with men who are still in the immature stages of viewing this as pure fetish and helping them grow.