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RE: early mistakes - 1/3/2010 9:17:59 AM

osf

Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: zephyroftheNorth

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

quote:

ORIGINAL: zephyroftheNorth

Automatically assuming the "Dom" I was with knew what he was doing....he didn't and he didn't admit to it. I discovered this when he sent me to Alt supposedly to make friends with other submissives, instead I discovered that he didn't have the first clue what he was doing or how to use the toys he was going to use on me.

Thankfully things didn't go that far or I could have been seriously injured. This is the only time I've actually been grateful he lived far away which is why we hadn't yet had the chance to "play".

zeph

a good one knows his limitations, hell there's a lot of common play activities i don't know how to do because they never interested me, so i certainly wouldnt practice on a newbe and say trust me i know what im doing

A wise decision, osf. Sadly he put his pride ahead of my safety, he just couldn't admit that he was new to BDSM and that almost put my health and safety at risk.

tust an aside, i never do anything till i understand her head space

< Message edited by osf -- 1/3/2010 9:19:59 AM >

_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to zephyroftheNorth)

Post #: 221

RE: early mistakes - 1/3/2010 10:12:14 AM

lusciouslips19

Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: zephyroftheNorth

Automatically assuming the "Dom" I was with knew what he was doing....he didn't and he didn't admit to it. I discovered this when he sent me to Alt supposedly to make friends with other submissives, instead I discovered that he didn't have the first clue what he was doing or how to use the toys he was going to use on me.

Thankfully things didn't go that far or I could have been seriously injured. This is the only time I've actually been grateful he lived far away which is why we hadn't yet had the chance to "play".

zeph

This happened to me. He had a bag of toys that he had never used. His instruction I guesses came from BDSM porn. I was in the car making out, he slapped me obver and over til I started to have abuse flashbacks and started to cry. He comforted me, so I moved on. First time i was with him fully intimate it was "after" I was laying on my stomach. He smacked me at my kidneys area. It didnt hurt, but it gave me a pause. I waited a couple days and asked him if he knew what "endangerment sites" were. I mentioned that he had hit me at my kidney and although it was lightly did he know where that was? He said no. So I sent him a jpg chart from a place called massagenerd.com Its for massage therapists. It lays out caution/endangerment sites very well. I also sent him John Warrens Book. He ended up really never reading it. I wont go into the long part of the story but bottom line,no body awareness, not good in sports but still swinging things at me and wanting me to be a moving target, and me being to fulfill his fantasies not him seeming to put my safety first or at least to not understand it....I ended it after 3 months.

You can be a nice and generous person. He treated me very well with presents and showering me with fine dining and a good time. But there was a connection not being made between me the fantasy and me the human being with arteries, veins and structure that doesnt always cooperate with the fantasy.

_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to zephyroftheNorth)

Post #: 222

RE: early mistakes - 1/3/2010 10:34:27 AM

sunshinemiss

Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline

If you come over here, lushy, I'll kiss your boo boos and make it all better.

helpful hannah sunshine

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to lusciouslips19)

Post #: 223

RE: early mistakes - 1/3/2010 10:41:31 AM

lusciouslips19

Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

If you come over here, lushy, I'll kiss your boo boos and make it all better.

helpful hannah sunshine

Its my heart thats broken currently. Let me take off my shirt so ya can kiss it better!

_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to sunshinemiss)

Post #: 224

RE: early mistakes - 1/3/2010 10:42:19 AM

sunshinemiss

Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline

I can do that! yummmmmmmmm

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to lusciouslips19)

Post #: 225

RE: early mistakes - 1/3/2010 10:48:43 AM

Level

Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline

So, you weren't subblymissive enough to be willing to go on dialysis for him? Oh, lushy...

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19
not good in sports but still swinging things at me and wanting me to be a moving target,

Ha ha, this line made me smile.

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to lusciouslips19)

Post #: 226

RE: early mistakes - 1/3/2010 10:53:07 AM

lusciouslips19

Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

So, you weren't subblymissive enough to be willing to go on dialysis for him? Oh, lushy...

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19
not good in sports but still swinging things at me and wanting me to be a moving target,

Ha ha, this line made me smile.

*Hangs head* I know, Im just not a twue sub. Plus I know too much Anatomy, so I am more knowlegable and possibly more paranoid that those good lil airhead subbies.

_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to Level)

Post #: 227

RE: early mistakes - 1/3/2010 10:53:08 AM

sexyred1

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline

I don't think I made early mistakes regarding BDSM, as much as early mistakes (and later mistakes) falling for the wrong person.

One mistake I am happy I never made in the BDSM realm was this: during a semester of college on holiday break, I came back to NY. I wanted to go to a real live BDSM club. So I dragged a girlfriend with me to Hellfire.

Once there, my girlfriend basically freaked out and left (she was totally vanilla, lol) and I stayed, albeit very trepidatiously. (Hellfire was not a pretty little club back then). I met this guy who was somewhat older and he was the picture of a "Dom" in the clubs, black leather, crop at his side, etc. (what did I know).

We chatted and since he saw I was somewhat of a newbie, he gave me all this advice and asked me out.

He was pretty hot, so I went out with him about 2 times and then he told me I was going to be his new slave. I told him that even at my young age, I did not think I was a slave, but really a submissive, but what would that entail?

He said that being a slave included: being part of a harem of slaves that he pwned, that he rotated each girl weekly, that all the slaves had to be bisexual, that all of them had to clean his house once per week and that none of the slaves were allowed to have any type of orgasm, but were required to service him sexually.

After I finished laughing, I said, oh so does that mean you never perform oral on a woman? And I will never forget his face. He looked totally shocked and said, Young lady, you need to understand something. No Dominant man will EVER, EVER perform oral sex on a woman. Otherwise he is not a Dominant man. Get used to it.

Of course he was furious that I laughed and told him to hit the road. And that was the first time I ever heard the words: YOU ARE NOT REALLY A SUBMISSIVE.

(in reply to lusciouslips19)

Post #: 228

RE: early mistakes - 1/3/2010 10:56:28 AM

WinsomeDefiance

Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline

If no dominant man would EVER perform oral...what the hell were they DOING down there? Checking my fluids?

(in reply to sexyred1)

Post #: 229

RE: early mistakes - 1/3/2010 10:59:47 AM

sexyred1

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline

LOL, I know, thank goodness I was very savvy even back then. Can you imagine another newbie just taking what he said to heart and venturing forth to be one his "harem"? Unless of course she did not like having orgasms, then it would be a match made in heaven.

(in reply to WinsomeDefiance)

Post #: 230

RE: early mistakes - 1/3/2010 11:02:19 AM

Level

Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance

If no dominant man would EVER perform oral...what the hell were they DOING down there? Checking my fluids?

Well, did you have any leaks?

*waves my dipstick in the air*

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to WinsomeDefiance)

Post #: 231

RE: early mistakes - 1/3/2010 11:03:17 AM

lusciouslips19

Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline

Not all women like oral sex, believe it or not. They dont like a wet tongue there feeling. Not me, but I know a couple.

_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to sexyred1)

Post #: 232

RE: early mistakes - 1/3/2010 11:03:34 AM

WinsomeDefiance

Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline

Someone for everyone I guess.

You know, if the guy had modified his hown demands, it might not be such a bad scenario. Just think how fun it would be to only have to service him one week a month and to have the other three weeks free to hang out with the girls. Just saying!

(in reply to sexyred1)

Post #: 233

RE: early mistakes - 1/3/2010 11:34:42 AM

EPGAH

Posts: 500
Joined: 12/25/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance
If no dominant man would EVER perform oral...what the hell were they DOING down there? Checking my fluids?

Why, yes, Winsome! And you're a quart low, which means you need immediate servicing!
Stop by any of our convenient pick-up locations, and a Man will be out to assist you in a few minutes!
Here at Man, Inc., we're busting our balls to serve you better!

(in reply to WinsomeDefiance)

Post #: 234

RE: early mistakes - 1/3/2010 11:34:53 AM

zephyroftheNorth

Posts: 8159
Joined: 10/5/2009
From: The Great Frozen North
Status: offline

quote:

This happened to me. He had a bag of toys that he had never used. His instruction I guesses came from BDSM porn. I was in the car making out, he slapped me obver and over til I started to have abuse flashbacks and started to cry. He comforted me, so I moved on. First time i was with him fully intimate it was "after" I was laying on my stomach. He smacked me at my kidneys area. It didnt hurt, but it gave me a pause. I waited a couple days and asked him if he knew what "endangerment sites" were. I mentioned that he had hit me at my kidney and although it was lightly did he know where that was? He said no. So I sent him a jpg chart from a place called massagenerd.com Its for massage therapists. It lays out caution/endangerment sites very well. I also sent him John Warrens Book. He ended up really never reading it. I wont go into the long part of the story but bottom line,no body awareness, not good in sports but still swinging things at me and wanting me to be a moving target, and me being to fulfill his fantasies not him seeming to put my safety first or at least to not understand it....I ended it after 3 months.

You can be a nice and generous person. He treated me very well with presents and showering me with fine dining and a good time. But there was a connection not being made between me the fantasy and me the human being with arteries, veins and structure that doesnt always cooperate with the fantasy.

Lushy, I am so sorry you went through that. Really he should be shot for what he did to you. I'm lucky, he never got a chance to do to me what you had done to you, and believe me I'm well aware that the ending could have been much worse.

_____________________________

And there's a smile when the pain comes
The pain gonna make ev'rything alright ~ Black Crows

Team Troll Trollop
Member: Cocksuckers For World Peace
Charter member: Lance's Fag Hags
Member: Subbie Mafia
Member: Hibbie's Hotties

(in reply to lusciouslips19)

Post #: 235

RE: early mistakes - 1/3/2010 12:44:21 PM

JBGolden

Posts: 75
Joined: 11/13/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

No Dominant man will EVER, EVER perform oral sex on a woman. Otherwise he is not a Dominant man. Get used to it.

... my god. My world, it is torn asunder. I suppose now I have to hang up my Dom hat. I even had it newly made.

Welp, time to gain a new moniker. I shall call myself a CROMINANT after Conan! Where I will pillage and ravage women with my tongue!

Who's with me?!

(in reply to sexyred1)

Post #: 236

RE: early mistakes - 1/3/2010 12:45:45 PM

sexyred1

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: JBGolden

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

No Dominant man will EVER, EVER perform oral sex on a woman. Otherwise he is not a Dominant man. Get used to it.

... my god. My world, it is torn asunder. I suppose now I have to hang up my Dom hat. I even had it newly made.

Welp, time to gain a new moniker. I shall call myself a CROMINANT after Conan! Where I will pillage and ravage women with my tongue!

Who's with me?!

We all are!!!

(in reply to JBGolden)

Post #: 237

RE: early mistakes - 1/3/2010 12:47:16 PM

sexyred1

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

Not all women like oral sex, believe it or not. They dont like a wet tongue there feeling. Not me, but I know a couple.

Yes, I know a few who don't like but I cannot comprehend how that could be. To each her own.

(in reply to lusciouslips19)

Post #: 238

RE: early mistakes - 1/3/2010 2:22:10 PM

sunshinemiss

Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline

Hi Sexy (and lushy),

I'm one of those women. *sigh.*

Yes, I am. Here's my reality. In all my vast experience (you know the three people I've been with in 30 years ahem), they just weren't any good. Seriously. And I didn't want to teach them because it is so... very ummm verbal.. and you know, I'm rather ... well... it's difficult for me to say what... ummm... Anyway, yes, I am good at it. But they just didn't want to figure out how to ... oh hell, why am I answering this? I must want the fricking humiliation factor here evidently.

*deep breath.

I don't want to teach someone how to do that. And I can't stand the feel of slobber

So if you're not good at it already, don't be messing with my... with the... DOWN THERE.

My very first boyfriend was really good at it. I think the bar may be awfully high because of it. *Sigh* that was 25 years ago. Nobody really good since then. Very sad. After a couple times I just said "forget it".

I did talk to a Mayun once who said, "well, I'm a Dom, and I like doing that, so you'll just have to get good and comfortable with receiving if we get together." I believe that like JB up there he may need to turn in his Dom hat (and card). Perhaps this is a good way for me to learn to submit? heh.

best,
sunshine

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to sexyred1)

Post #: 239

RE: early mistakes - 1/3/2010 3:47:42 PM

zephyroftheNorth

Posts: 8159
Joined: 10/5/2009
From: The Great Frozen North
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: JBGolden

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

No Dominant man will EVER, EVER perform oral sex on a woman. Otherwise he is not a Dominant man. Get used to it.

... my god. My world, it is torn asunder. I suppose now I have to hang up my Dom hat. I even had it newly made.

Welp, time to gain a new moniker. I shall call myself a CROMINANT after Conan! Where I will pillage and ravage women with my tongue!

Who's with me?!

*taps JB on the shoulder*

_____________________________

And there's a smile when the pain comes
The pain gonna make ev'rything alright ~ Black Crows

Team Troll Trollop
Member: Cocksuckers For World Peace
Charter member: Lance's Fag Hags
Member: Subbie Mafia
Member: Hibbie's Hotties

(in reply to JBGolden)

Post #: 240

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