RE: early mistakes (Full Version)

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wisdomtogive -> RE: early mistakes (1/1/2010 3:34:55 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

when i see profiles that say in big big leters i'm taken/owned etc, i wonder how long before her ass is back here

i don't discuss my personal affairs on here so i don't look the fool if it goes bad


osf, i never joined these boards as a dating site, and yes i know i am weird. Someone told me about Cm when i first got into BDSM and when i joined all i saw was 'dating site' It was many months later, while in a chat room someone mention to me there is a message board too. When i started to read the boards I became hooked. I would be surprise if i didnt make a fool out of myself, but i do not see me as a fool just someone who is willing to accept her mistakes and grow. if another can see through my experiences and it helps them good, if not it doesn't lessen who i am. i have no concern what people on cm or any internet site think of me.



DesFIP -> RE: early mistakes (1/1/2010 6:07:04 AM)

Nothing. I thought first and figured out first what I needed and wanted and I didn't meet those I weren't compatible with. I also learned good communication skills elsewhere and applied them to this relationship.

And my profile, which states I'm taken? It's been true as long as I've been here and that's a lot less than the length of the relationship.



lally2 -> RE: early mistakes (1/1/2010 6:50:07 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

i thought this would be helpful to newbes and i'm glad to see you're into the spirit of things


i'm not referring to you stella


far too many to mention.

what did you mean by the bit ive highlighted



sunshinemiss -> RE: early mistakes (1/1/2010 6:51:31 AM)

He posted just beneath stella and was making clear that his response was to an earlier poster, lally.



osf -> RE: early mistakes (1/1/2010 6:51:59 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Nothing. I thought first and figured out first what I needed and wanted and I didn't meet those I weren't compatible with. I also learned good communication skills elsewhere and applied them to this relationship.

And my profile, which states I'm taken? It's been true as long as I've been here and that's a lot less than the length of the relationship.


and your point on your profile is in my opinion tasteful and to the point



osf -> RE: early mistakes (1/1/2010 6:53:50 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: lally2


quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

i thought this would be helpful to newbes and i'm glad to see you're into the spirit of things


i'm not referring to you stella


far too many to mention.

what did you mean by the bit ive highlighted


i was responding to a couple posts and she posted while i was posting so i wanted her to know i didn't mean to include her



lally2 -> RE: early mistakes (1/1/2010 6:54:51 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

He posted just beneath stella and was making clear that his response was to an earlier poster, lally.



oh ok, [:)] - thanks.



osf -> RE: early mistakes (1/1/2010 6:55:00 AM)

quote:

far too many to mention.


don't mention many just a couple
quote:

far too many to mention.



vincentML -> RE: early mistakes (1/1/2010 6:56:47 AM)

I got married .... twice! [sm=Groaner.gif]



osf -> RE: early mistakes (1/1/2010 7:08:54 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: vincentML

I got married .... twice! [sm=Groaner.gif]


i got married and the first time i wanted to butt fuck her she freaked out

never did get any of that ass

yes, i can reasonably say that was a mistake




lally2 -> RE: early mistakes (1/1/2010 7:21:44 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

quote:

far too many to mention.


don't mention many just a couple
quote:

far too many to mention.



in truth they werent so much mistakes as learning curves.

it took me a while to work out that allowing my submissive nature free rein did not mean i should be sub to all and sundry or that every man i spoke to on the phone had a right to expect phone sex and not every man i met had a right to man handle me if i didnt want them to or that somehow, magically all men who called themselves dominant would be doubly appeciative of me, cos i was sub, their opposite number and that, somehow made me a commodity they should value hightly - yeah i know - naive as hell. [&o]

for a time i thought that i had to 'prove' my submission or id be called a fake - now i dont give a tinkers doiley what people think, cept to the man im slave/sub to.

submitting to submission got me into a few scrapes too. now i restrict myself to submitting to the man and if that doesnt happen then nothing happens.



SirJohnMandevill -> RE: early mistakes (1/1/2010 7:30:34 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

what were the relationship mistakes you made after you found out about bdsm

mine was my first submissive , being new and not confident i screwed it up by not being forceful enough


Similar experience. I reconnected with someone from my past about five years ago, discovered she was lifestyle. She had both Dominant and submissive feelings. I didn't react strongly enough when her Dominant side reared its pointy li'l head.

OTOH, had that relationship succeeded, I wouldn't have found the sweet, submissive woman who loves me (and I her) today. So it's a happy ending! [:D]

[sm=chug.gif] Purveyor of Fine, Handcrafted Kink



osf -> RE: early mistakes (1/1/2010 7:31:05 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: lally2


quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

quote:

far too many to mention.


don't mention many just a couple
quote:

far too many to mention.



in truth they werent so much mistakes as learning curves.

it took me a while to work out that allowing my submissive nature free rein did not mean i should be sub to all and sundry or that every man i spoke to on the phone had a right to expect phone sex and not every man i met had a right to man handle me if i didnt want them to or that somehow, magically all men who called themselves dominant would be doubly appeciative of me, cos i was sub, their opposite number and that, somehow made me a commodity they should value hightly - yeah i know - naive as hell. [&o]

for a time i thought that i had to 'prove' my submission or id be called a fake - now i dont give a tinkers doiley what people think, cept to the man im slave/sub to.

submitting to submission got me into a few scrapes too. now i restrict myself to submitting to the man and if that doesnt happen then nothing happens.


in that vein if i may, owned ones should remember that their behavior is a reflection of him

now i know i'm going to get a lot of shit for this, but when they behave badly and rudely that's not a good reflection of his control

i'm speaking of unwarranted rude behavior, and not a blanket statement

also, if they are not owned, others are watching and judging



wisdomtogive -> RE: early mistakes (1/1/2010 7:38:51 AM)

quote:

in that vein if i may, owned ones should remember that their behavior is a reflection of him

now i know i'm going to get a lot of shit for this, but when they behave badly and rudely that's not a good reflection of his control

i'm speaking of unwarranted rude behavior, and not a blanket statement

also, if they are not owned, others are watching and judging


i always felt that way even in my vanilla marriage. it is who i am and comes naturally. Something both prior Sirs liked about me and my Sir now likes. i totally feel i am a reflection of who i am with, as well as who I serve Spiritually. ...Goddess Pele. 




osf -> RE: early mistakes (1/1/2010 7:42:21 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: wisdomtogive

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

when i see profiles that say in big big leters i'm taken/owned etc, i wonder how long before her ass is back here

i don't discuss my personal affairs on here so i don't look the fool if it goes bad


osf, i never joined these boards as a dating site, and yes i know i am weird. Someone told me about Cm when i first got into BDSM and when i joined all i saw was 'dating site' It was many months later, while in a chat room someone mention to me there is a message board too. When i started to read the boards I became hooked. I would be surprise if i didnt make a fool out of myself, but i do not see me as a fool just someone who is willing to accept her mistakes and grow. if another can see through my experiences and it helps them good, if not it doesn't lessen who i am. i have no concern what people on cm or any internet site think of me.


what i guess im talking about is the ones that are here 2 weeks and all of a sudden they have the perfect dom and a week later they are back

what especially annoys me is the ones male or female, that talk badly about failed relationships and their ex's

just say it was a mistake , maybe on both sides and move on



KatyLied -> RE: early mistakes (1/1/2010 7:46:29 AM)


quote:

what i guess im talking about is the ones that are here 2 weeks and all of a sudden they have the perfect dom and a week later they are back


Some people are in a rush to experience, to find their one.  They get caught up in font and don't consider that it takes a lot of time to get to know someone.  Maybe they are afraid someone else will steal their find.  Maybe they are on auto submit/domination and will submit/dominate to anyone, they aren't picky.  There is little value in that.



kttqnp -> RE: early mistakes (1/1/2010 7:50:43 AM)

Well, I haven't seen this one on here yet. Taking a male sub out of a CB3000 when he'd locked himself in it for three years. That was a BIG mistake.



lally2 -> RE: early mistakes (1/1/2010 7:54:17 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

quote:

ORIGINAL: lally2


quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

quote:

far too many to mention.


don't mention many just a couple
quote:

far too many to mention.



in truth they werent so much mistakes as learning curves.

it took me a while to work out that allowing my submissive nature free rein did not mean i should be sub to all and sundry or that every man i spoke to on the phone had a right to expect phone sex and not every man i met had a right to man handle me if i didnt want them to or that somehow, magically all men who called themselves dominant would be doubly appeciative of me, cos i was sub, their opposite number and that, somehow made me a commodity they should value hightly - yeah i know - naive as hell. [&o]

for a time i thought that i had to 'prove' my submission or id be called a fake - now i dont give a tinkers doiley what people think, cept to the man im slave/sub to.

submitting to submission got me into a few scrapes too. now i restrict myself to submitting to the man and if that doesnt happen then nothing happens.


in that vein if i may, owned ones should remember that their behavior is a reflection of him

now i know i'm going to get a lot of shit for this, but when they behave badly and rudely that's not a good reflection of his control

i'm speaking of unwarranted rude behavior, and not a blanket statement

also, if they are not owned, others are watching and judging


i hope you dont get shit for it, its a perfectly valid view. but you might get one or two who disagree vehemently. [:D]

but yes. in fact there have been a few times on here when a shriekish moll stomps about and makes a reet pest of herself and people do make the comment 'what sort of control does her D have over her to let her behave this way'.

it rather presumes that
a) theyre in a relationship first and foremost
b) that they give a tinkers doiley what other people think.

in that vein, i tend to be polite with everyone, real time and cyber, i give people credit where its due and extend respect to pretty much everyone. but i am not and will never be submissive to all and i will not treat anyone with any particular defferrance. having said that, there are one or two Doms and Dommes on here that i do feel defferential to and im sure i would be if i was in the same room as them.

but on the whole, i am only submissive to the man i submit to.



UniqueRaven -> RE: early mistakes (1/1/2010 7:54:37 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

in that vein if i may, owned ones should remember that their behavior is a reflection of him

now i know i'm going to get a lot of shit for this, but when they behave badly and rudely that's not a good reflection of his control

i'm speaking of unwarranted rude behavior, and not a blanket statement

also, if they are not owned, others are watching and judging


Yes, it is a bad reflection on him, but most importantly it is a reflection upon themselves.

When you say that it's not a good reflection of his control, i say that only goes so far.  Even the most strictly controlled submissives/slaves are ultimately responsible for their own actions.  There are only so many hours in the day in which their Doms can lecture and/or beat them for their transgressions - and if they don't want to learn, and be open and accepting to what he wants to teach, then their behavior is not going to change.  He has to decide if he wants to continue with her ownership, or not.  And yes, i have seen a few examples of these subs/slaves on these boards, but if it's what works for them, who am i to judge?

My viewpoint is that we're all trying to get through life in our own way, each of us carrying our own individual basket of grief.  What's in my basket is very, very different from what's in yours.  So while i don't always agree, i work very hard to be non-judgmental, respectful, and accepting of everyone, no matter where they fit on the BDSM spectrum - or even not on the spectrum at all.  So i'm not concerned about who is "watching and judging" - as i think any prospective Owner/Master for me would see that raw base level respect that i hold for others and how he could work and mold that respect to his use and pleasure.

All this said, i don't think nearly so many people are as "rude" as you seem to perceive, no offense.[;)]

julie





osf -> RE: early mistakes (1/1/2010 7:57:31 AM)

quote:

in that vein, i tend to be polite with everyone, real time and cyber, i give people credit where its due and extend respect to pretty much everyone. but i am not and will never be submissive to all and i will not treat anyone with any particular defferrance. having said that, there are one or two Doms and Dommes on here that i do feel defferential to and im sure i would be if i was in the same room as them.


being civil and courteous doesn't mean you have to respect them



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