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RE: i need a critique on my profile - 1/1/2010 1:34:34 PM   
Dunhamart


Posts: 35
Joined: 2/15/2009
Status: offline 		i just mean i wanted to consolidate all of these posts in to one thing any moderators around that could help out please 

(in reply to CalifChick)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: i need a critique on my profile - 1/1/2010 1:35:25 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dunhamart

i meant all the extra posts i did i seemed to have un intentionally pissed a lot of people off kind of don't want want to keep that up



Pick one of the threads and stay with it, come again in a little better vein, the others may or may not disappear, but you are where the action is for the present, so the posts will hang with where you post.

And it was funny in a sick sort of way, but friends are cheap, pussy is dear, and you want to speak to girls that are with the plan, right?

Very extravagant of you, throwing away girls like that. Someday they may be scarce.

And one post will (as you should see by now, get you all forms and shades and oppositions of opinion) unless you force everyones hand the same direction.

Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to Dunhamart)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: i need a critique on my profile - 1/1/2010 1:56:26 PM   
JBGolden


Posts: 75
Joined: 11/13/2009
Status: offline 		ottertail has a good point.

I know your friends said the rant was funny but they're not who you're trying to get with, right?

Fact of a matter is you just might not get responses just because. But your profile *will* be viewed. Best not to shoot yourself in the ass in that first instance, eh?

Plus you'll have to ask yourself: Are you just looking for booty or something more serious. That's a good starting point to figuring out how you'll wanna rewrite your profile.

< Message edited by JBGolden -- 1/1/2010 1:58:05 PM >

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: i need a critique on my profile - 1/1/2010 2:51:40 PM   
antipode


Posts: 1787
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline
quote:

could give me an honest critique that would be great



Ask the subs, not us.

(in reply to Dunhamart)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: i need a critique on my profile - 1/1/2010 2:57:52 PM   
JBGolden


Posts: 75
Joined: 11/13/2009
Status: offline 		No reason why other people can't chime in.

Also I'd say it's a good deal better than before.

(in reply to antipode)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: i need a critique on my profile - 1/1/2010 4:41:34 PM   
TemptingNviceSub


Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline 		To the OP,you will get many suggestions on how to fix your profile, some good some not so good. I have noted more good than not,however there comes a time when you must decide for yourself on what is best for you. After all you self describe as Dominant, so you have to know what it is you wish to say and stick to it. I too, for some reason get many complaints on my profile ~wink~..but what I put out there is what I wish to put out there and no one can gainsay me upon this.I wish you well in your search, but patience is always the key and the ones who respond to you are the ones who feel the possibility of a connection/Tempting

_____________________________

I have greatly enjoyed the second blooming...suddenly you find at the age of 50, that a whole new life has opened before you.........Agatha Christie.

You must make tracks into the unknown~~Thoreau

(in reply to JBGolden)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: i need a critique on my profile - 1/1/2010 4:41:46 PM   
Elisabella


Posts: 3939
Status: offline 		-FR-

Your profile is fine. Great actually. Nice pics, profile isn't too short or too long.

I think the issue is the way you write your messages. You write in a kind of random way, short posts that aren't incoherent but do seem pretty disjointed. Is that how you usually write messages?

Generally speaking I like first messages that go something like:

Proper Greeting,

A paragraph about what you liked in my profile and the reasons why you liked it.

A short paragraph about you that tells me important things I should know about you that aren't in your profile.

A sentence or two in closing (Thank you for reading this, I hope to hear from you soon, etc).

Proper closing,
Your First Name

Try it :) It works wonders.

< Message edited by Elisabella -- 1/1/2010 4:42:08 PM >

(in reply to JBGolden)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: i need a critique on my profile - 1/1/2010 5:05:43 PM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		You might want to get yourself an avatar that has a certain amount of...........gravitas.


Jeff

_____________________________

"If you don't live it, it won't come out your horn." Charlie Parker

(in reply to Dunhamart)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: i need a critique on my profile - 1/1/2010 5:23:41 PM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TemptingNviceSub

To the OP,you will get many suggestions on how to fix your profile, some good some not so good.


I've always found having plenty of shots of my gigantic cock helped others to know that my business here is serious.

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to TemptingNviceSub)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: i need a critique on my profile - 1/1/2010 5:26:17 PM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Level


quote:

ORIGINAL: TemptingNviceSub

To the OP,you will get many suggestions on how to fix your profile, some good some not so good.


I've always found having plenty of shots of my gigantic cock helped others to know that my business here is serious.


Yep... if there is one thing chicks dig more than a long tongue..... it's a big cock


Jeff

_____________________________

"If you don't live it, it won't come out your horn." Charlie Parker

(in reply to Level)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: i need a critique on my profile - 1/1/2010 5:47:46 PM   
amaidiamond


Posts: 1793
Joined: 2/6/2006
From: Watford / London
Status: offline 		The re-write is looking ok, one thing I can suggest is to focus on your grammer and punctuation.

dia

(in reply to Jeffff)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: i need a critique on my profile - 1/1/2010 6:03:36 PM   
happylittlepet


Posts: 289
Status: offline 		At least you got rid of your vanilla cone today

_____________________________

There are no rules, there is only compassion.

Simple religion:
There is no need for temples,
No need for complicated philosophies
My brain and my heart are my temples
My philosophy is kindness (DL)

'There's a fire burning in my heart'

(in reply to Dunhamart)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: i need a critique on my profile - 1/1/2010 6:20:51 PM   
WyldHrt


Posts: 6412
Joined: 6/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

-FR-
Your profile is fine. Great actually. Nice pics, profile isn't too short or too long.

That's the updated profile, Bella. The OP got some help in other threads as well and did a rewrite.
Good advice on sending messages, though.


_____________________________

"MotherFUCKER!" is NOT a safeword!!"- Steel
"We've had complaints about 'orgy noises'. This is not the neighborhood for that kind of thing"- PVE Cop

Resident "Hypnotic Eyes", "Cleavage" and "Toy Whore"
Subby Mafia, VAA Posse & Team Troll!

(in reply to Elisabella)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: i need a critique on my profile - 1/1/2010 6:25:51 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

You might want to get yourself an avatar that has a certain amount of...........gravitas.


Jeff

OMFG!!!!!!!!


_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to Jeffff)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: i need a critique on my profile - 1/1/2010 6:46:18 PM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		What?.........




:)


Jeff

_____________________________

"If you don't live it, it won't come out your horn." Charlie Parker

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: i need a critique on my profile - 1/1/2010 7:15:12 PM   
DrkJourney


Posts: 1917
Joined: 5/6/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Level


quote:

ORIGINAL: TemptingNviceSub

To the OP,you will get many suggestions on how to fix your profile, some good some not so good.


I've always found having plenty of shots of my gigantic cock helped others to know that my business here is serious.


Level!!!!!!!      for shaaaaammmmme...lol

_____________________________

...Look into my eyes and I'll own you....



(in reply to Level)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: i need a critique on my profile - 1/1/2010 7:17:28 PM   
DrkJourney


Posts: 1917
Joined: 5/6/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

Yep... if there is one thing chicks dig more than a long tongue..... it's a big cock

Jeff


jeff jeff jefffffffffffffffffff     tsk tsk tsk

(lol)

_____________________________

...Look into my eyes and I'll own you....



(in reply to Jeffff)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: i need a critique on my profile - 1/1/2010 7:27:55 PM   
lizi


Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline 		I didn't see the profile before you changed it but I thought what was up now is good. I personally like the way you list a lot of things about yourself and that you like to do in both the written area and the interest list. It turns me off really quickly if someone is focused on kink and/or sex and that is all their profile and interest list has. I especially like the Henry Rollins quote because I think he's awesome  
I think your pictures are good too.

You say you are trying to start up conversations with people and not getting many responses. The improved profile will help, it's like your advertisement. The other thing that might help is to think about how you are approaching the people you want to talk to. Saying 'Hi'...'Hello there'...or a one sentence message like 'How are you today?' won't get you far. Try to write something fairly short, funny, and personal to the profile you are looking at. For instance, I ride motorcycles, bicycles and like to work out - which is all mentioned in my profile. If someone writing me references any of these things at all and better yet in a funny way it'll get my attention. If I were looking that is, lol. In fact the Dom I'm with now wrote me a short little message that was funny and referenced my profile and I wrote back and the rest is history. We've had our glitches but we've been together almost a year now.

This thread gets a lot of notice from the boards as being a great guide for people trying to find a partner. http://www.collarchat.com/m_1717756/tm.htm
You can also do a search by using the search function at the bottom of this page and look for more threads on profiles and contacting women. Finding a partner is like job hunting, it takes work. I hope the suggestions you've gotten from everyone helps. Another thing to consider is to keep posting on the boards. People notice you and prospective interested parties can 'meet' you through what you have to say here. Good luck, hope you find what you want

(in reply to Jeffff)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: i need a critique on my profile - 1/1/2010 7:30:17 PM   
TemptingNviceSub


Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline 		Now Level, you know you have not put out any pictures of your dang-along..:0)..remember? you told me it was wayyy to huge to fit into the scope of a camera...Tempting

_____________________________

I have greatly enjoyed the second blooming...suddenly you find at the age of 50, that a whole new life has opened before you.........Agatha Christie.

You must make tracks into the unknown~~Thoreau

(in reply to DrkJourney)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: i need a critique on my profile - 1/1/2010 7:55:22 PM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DrkJourney

quote:

ORIGINAL: Level


quote:

ORIGINAL: TemptingNviceSub

To the OP,you will get many suggestions on how to fix your profile, some good some not so good.


I've always found having plenty of shots of my gigantic cock helped others to know that my business here is serious.


Level!!!!!!!      for shaaaaammmmme...lol





quote:

Now Level, you know you have not put out any pictures of your dang-along..:0)..remember? you told me it was wayyy to huge to fit into the scope of a camera...Tempting


It was a special wide-angle lens.

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to DrkJourney)
Profile   Post #: 40
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